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Blog Posts2

  • 61w, 3d
    On rewriting...

    Rewrite should be completely and totally done. If anyone notices anything out of place, let me know.

    Created this: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hdqSBj1Jm-dw5Jl4iJA0OpbPbJZzVFfQW3rlT_gIkm0/edit

    If you want to read the original, download it here: http://pastebin.com/KD2TFT0Z

    NOTE: If a chapter's title is blank or "Slice of Life," I'm looking for a title for it. Suggestions are welcome.

    In case anyone is wondering what size chart I'm going on:

    http://i.imgur.com/jU5Gt9v.jpg

    Also of relevance:

    http://pastebin.com/pbmSdAk5

    http://pastebin.com/n37YXtcs

    Changelog (definitely spoilers below):

    1: Changed the wording in a number of places. Made Nav seem less whiny. Hopefully made some people less OOC. Made the beginning sound less preachy and angsty. It more properly... sets the stage, you could say.

    2: Made everyone less OOC. Definitely, definitely set the stage here.

    3: Reads better. Think I added some of the old chapter four onto this one.

    4: Complete and total rewrite. Probably one of the best chapters I've ever done, actually. It's Nightmare Night.

    5: Twilight and Nav vs Trixie. Almost a complete rewrite.

    6: Ponified Nav chapter. Partial rewrite. New stuff added. Rape redone to be less OOC.

    7: Cleaned up.

    8: Added Nav meeting Celestia. More foreshadowing.

    9: Added a section where Nav goes hunting with Luna. Plenty of foreshadowing here.

    10: The Gala. Removed Z, added Egill, which is close to the same thing, but with Luna instead.

    11: Summer Wrap Up, where Luna practically admits her feelings. Nav gets wrecked. This is the substitute for the stupid sky rodeo (yes, it was stupid, god dammit).

    12: The aftermath of Nav getting wrecked. Close to the other aftermath chapter, but also different. Considerably less Zecora (by which I mean fuck that rhyming zigger).

    13: Gave Nav a reason to actually kill. Gave him more of a moral problem with killing. Gave him more of a reason to not fight back against naga chick.

    16: Made Nav less full retard. He grows a fucking spine and deals with Kat.

    17: Changed up the Luna dialogue to fit her better. Nuked the ending.

    19: Removed everything involving Celestia and Luna. Appended 22 to what was left. Removed the stuff about Winter Wrap Up from this chapter.

    21: Specified that the vengeful noblewoman was Fleur. Appended stuff about Winter Wrap Up to this chapter.

    22: Originally 23. Gave Twilight an excuse for leaving Nav behind when teleporting out of the dragon area.

    23: Originally half of 24. Removed many references to what was 19. Cleaned up some wording. Added references to books to explain what the hell Nav was talking about.

    24: Split in half. Some was moved to 23. Cleaned things up, added references to books, removed some references to the old chapter 19.

    27: Cleaned. Removed references to Z and 19. Redid the Luna clop almost completely. It's considerably more romantic and readable now.

    28: Cleaned. Changed a lot of the interaction between Nav, Twilight, and Rainbow Dash. Removed a bunch of references to Z and 19.

    29: Removed references to Z. Cleaned up the small conversation with Pinkie to make more sense and sound less like exposition (hopefully).

    31: Heavily modified his talk with Fluttershy.

    34: And I removed Nav's humanhood size difference, thanks to the size chart.

    35: Usual. Removed Nav's mini-peen due to size chart.

    38: Done. Decided to remove that really stupid love conspiracy thing Luna and Celestia had going on.

    39: Done. Never been so tempted to remove a clop scene. Didn't, though. Changed it due to size chart.

    41: Gutted the shit out of this chapter. Nav no longer gets in a relationship with Luna. The love conspiracy is entirely gone.

    43: Removed some Z stuff, removed some Nav x Luna stuff, removed the stupid conspiracy stuff.

    47: Done. Removed Pinkie's stupid crush on Nav. Why did I even put there there?

    48: Done. If you want to see the version that isn't censored for fimfic, check the gdocs version. I don't suggest it. The only thing that's changed is day four.

    55: Done. Removed Twilight's silly little crush on Nav.

    59: Toned down Nav's dickishness slightly. Chapter title still fits, though.

    67: Don't get attached to Freki. Decided to kick him to the curb before Nav leaves. He'll be there for a few chapters, but he'll not go with him. My justification for this is that I literally keep forgetting about him in new chapters. I get midway through, look at my character list, and realize that I haven't mentioned him at all. Then I have to reread everything and figure out where I can put him. I got tired of that, so I'll just get rid of him before Nav leaves.

    85: Freki left this chapter.

    100: Done

    101 comments · 4,082 views
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Dis gon be LONG.

I got 8 words into this and quit. Too much Marty Sue action. :pinkiecrazy:

I must say that this is a wonderful read.

#4 · 114w, 3d ago · 11 · 1 · Prologue ·

:heart: Feeling the LOVE, Nav.

>I must say that this is a wonderful read.

I second this.

Read it 7 times.  Eager to re-read it in a manageable format.  For readers unaware, there's a lot of incoming content.

holy shit why cant all chapters be like this?!? :pinkiehappy:

>>1124445

Who says they can't? I have fifty-two chapters, currently. Most of them are probably over five thousand words. Total word count is currently over 680,000.

By the end of this, I expect it to be the longest damn story on this website. The only thing longer than 600,000 words on here is "Mystery Pinkie Pie Theatre 3000", and that's only 648k.

Ya done good, Navarone. Keep doin'.

Why is this not Featured?

aaaand good stuff Moar ^^

“I will wait for you.” well shit

i had the same thought. And i gotta say i really enjoyed this chapter, good one man

"I managed to force out the words “I don’t fucking sing. Bugger off,” before I managed to turn around and arrogantly stride away." I actually laughed out loud at this haha, I did something similar during a elementary play... but less explicate vocabulary, good times.

nice and keep runing

Honestly I'm completely ignoring that this has anything to do with Discord and it's Fan-freakin-tastic

YAY MOAR ^^ and Trixied....well shit happends

First.......yay?

Comment posted by whatmustido deleted at 9:36am on the 21st of December, 2013

Wow...Didn't see that coming...

If that would of happened to me i'd be out for blood, pony blood...

Comment posted by whatmustido deleted at 11:26pm on the 30th of January, 2014
#21 · 113w, 2d ago · · · Prologue ·

holy crap, calling it now. the persona is 'The Forgemaster' from fanfiction.net!

#22 · 113w, 2d ago · · 1 · Prologue ·

that or a chuck noris on pot

>>1166793 yo realize that he was raped by two of his ONLY friends. Their friendships would be over not to mention having even WORSE trust issues!:flutterrage:

>>1177701

Oh, poor Navarone's trials and tribulations are just getting started. Soon, there will be absolutely no one that he trusts, not even himself.  Yes, you are correct when you say that by all rights his friendships should be over. However, Navarone is a better--or dumber--person than most. They both show regret for their actions, if not so far then they will later. He forgives them in what is probably a relatively stupid motion, but it shows how kind and naive he was back then. And as he goes through more and more horror, those little betrayals of the past seem less and less. He will never forget, but he can forgive.

So yes, while to most people that would be a friendship ending event, for Navarone it was just a hiccup of sorts. Does that make him stupid? Does that make him kind? Only time will tell.

>> whatmustido- Still I would give them the silent treatment, or just distance myself from them mostly Rarity cause her " brilliant idea " but you know that's just me.

>>1179735

He does distance himself from Rarity, though he was never that close to her to begin with. It's impossible to distance yourself from Pinkie. If she wants you for something, she will fucking find you. Or someone will help her find you. Like, there are some time skips and whatnot in here. It isn't written what went down, but you can assume that he stayed away from Rarity and Pinkie as much as was possible without bringing up too much suspicion. It wouldn't be stretching to assume he began avoiding ponies in general through that time period, but it isn't yet that he begins to seriously lose his connection with the pony race.

The manliness... The level... It's... Over 9000!

Well, this chapter was actually pretty good. though now I find myself having trouble thinking of the accent.

I'm starting to reconsider whether or not I should narrate this story; it's gonna be so damn long by the end. :rainbowlaugh:

That was a horrifying week for him. Loses his body, finds out that the ponies in the town still don't like him (not even the curtsy of remembering his name), forced to fly despite past events, and two 'friends' take advantage of him to prove a point and fulfill desires.

It's worse if this is his first time...lost his virginity to horses instead of a love one. Crappy week.

Lol silly angel, nice chapter.

ok... that was a kickass chapter!  :moustache:

I like nav's crossbow solution best!

>>1190460

Don't worry. That solution gets used a lot in the next chapter. Well, that solution and another one that's somewhat similar. Navarone's life is about to take some serious down turns. It'll be fun!

Having started and finished this story in a single afternoon, that was...interesting.

Now that he has wings the sky rodeo can probably return without the fear of him falling to his death. Speaking of wings does he have to preen and do they shed? He should try to get a job with the weather so he can move out of Twilight's basement.

Seems the only company he can have that shares a similar mind to him is Celestia.They make for a dangerous duo. If he wanted to give Equestia the biggest middle finger in history he would share some of the alcohol that AJ is stashing. A drunk Celestia would probably equal a hilarious Apocalypse.

If Twilight ever found out who Z was...it would be glorious. On that note, what would Twilight get if she tried to summon another human with the spell? Would it work and bring an actual human and not a construct of Discord's creation?

What a rude stallion, hope he shows up again.

>>1190567

He does have to preen and they do shed, but I don't write that because it would be boring as hell. They're also very sensitive, just as some write pegasus wings to be. He probably could get a job with the weather ponies, but honestly I don't think they would take him. He does a large number of random odd jobs through the town, and with that he gets some bits and free food. The bits all go straight to Twilight. He could move out, but Celestia wants him to continue living with Twilight. We don't know that yet and neither does he, but there is a reason for it that we'll learn much later.

And yes, they make a very dangerous duo. Around chapters sixteen, thirty-three, and fifty-three, you'll see just how dangerous they can get when they work together.

If Twilight tried to summon another human, she would get a very pissed off monster that wasn't a human. But she would never try that, because she knows how pissed off Navarone would be if she did it. Nav knows how pissed off he was that his life was ruined like that. He doesn't want it to happen to anyone else.

>>1190642

Yeah, he's rude. But he has a somewhat decent reason to be. I mean, Navarone does look like nothing anyone has ever seen before. That said, he was really being dickish. He might make a reappearance, but no promises.

Ah, another wonderful chapter. Thank you, whatmustido, for being such an awesome author. And if you have an editor I say thanks to then to.(Though it's possible you don't have one.)

>>1190678Twilights spell malfunctioned. The most dangerous species is not man; but rather it is Chuck Norris!

>>1186993

You should just Narrate it as he posts it on here.

That was sad. What he had to do. A whole lot of grey in this world. Ponies, as far as you have shown us, live in a rather idyllic setting not having to worry about the harsher side of life and this human gets to see the worse of it in their own world. Celestia was right his life sucks.

I've yet to see a HiE story that doesn't contain the human scaring Angel into good behaviour (if they interact at all). Honestly, it's a little tiring.

>>1196460

Well, I've never read any fanfictions at all, so I don't know what tropes are overused. I just tried using common sense.

>>1196386

It gets worse. Quite a lot worse.

>>1196468

Kind of makes me curious of what Discord is going to come away with when all this is over. Unless this is what he wants to happen to himself.

>>1196468

You're quite fast with your answers; I just wanted to amend my earlier post, because I remembered one wherein that didn't happen. Angel was actually quite a courageous little defender in that story. It's just that, sometimes it's jarring how easy all the anons et al can scare him- it doesn't seem to fit the character.

>>1196499

He doesn't stay scared. He's just really shocked that someone's answered his bullying. He isn't used to something that picks him up, shakes him around, and then threatens to eat him. He attempts to get revenge later.

>>1196480

You assume Discord even cares about his little toy.

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