It takes some time to deal with and let go of that empty hole you find in your chest where your heart used to be.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 9th May, 2012
- offline last seen Sep 25th, 2019
Yip
"Writers are vain, selfish and lazy." ~George Orwell
Yip
Joined 9th May, 2012 ·
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I...I....won't....*Cries*
Yipyapper, you have my permission to pootispenserhere.
To be honest, I prefered the old version, where Spike just didn't care.
i'll read later i don't fell like crying now
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw5647-YoumadefillyFluttershycry_4be65e6e77ed7cf3f1d6687f1b101a32.gif
Your grammar and structure is improving. Same goes for your show-vs-tell. But. there are still some places where you could improve. Dialogue would be a big one. Your formatting could use a little bit of work as well. I'd suggest using " over ' , since " is the generally accepted punctuation for dialogue.
On the subject of Show-vs-Tell, remember this quote from Anton Chekhov:
"Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass."
And also this gem from Mark Twain, even though I really didn't see this particular issue in your story.
s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/terminal05/2012/8/16/11/enhanced-buzz-19352-1345130355-13.jpg
I feel emotionless today... I'll read this later so that I can hate my life later... :P
Brohoof! /) OwO (\
sniffle
For everyone that's lost a friend,
there's a lesson to be learned here.
Yup, I'm doing it.
I'm improvwriting a song about this story. YY, I'mma send you something and you are going to like it.
3471335 A song about this one? I figured something that wasn't my first story would be deserving of a song.
3471365 This is your first?
Seems good to me. With some spiffying up, yeah, it could be like your 8000 worders.
But yeah, a song's gonna come...
Oh yes it will...
This was so well written.
Spike's realization at the end is just epic.
3536130 >Well-written
>Epic
U wot m8
3536172 Go ahead and write some more, The main thing I wanted to tell was that I enjoyed the story.
And with me being from a non-english speaking country, I normally don't see any errors.
That being said,
'Rite Moar!
bbsimg.ngfiles.com/15/20137000/ngbbs4acaa22ea0a1e.jpg
i14.photobucket.com/albums/a331/brittmcgee/MLP%20Minecraft/TLSOA_zps2aa17c49.png
(bummed expression)"......."
i245.photobucket.com/albums/gg78/evalana/blog/mlpfim_ep0273.png
Seems to me that much more could have been done with this.
Still a good read though. 
Poor kid its painful to see Spike always left out hell he didn't even appear at Twilight birthday in Sweet Elite