-Comin' back on the rebound!- I'm the guy who specialises in Spike stories.
For Rarity, she has the holiday of her dreams to a beautiful spa, but a dark secret must be revealed to the one who loves her the most. How long will it be before the nightmares return, and how long will the good times last?
(After some mass amounts of writing and planning, the story will be extended, so the third chapter will be a two parter, rather than the second chapter.
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I thought this was a great story. It wasn't too short and it didn't drag itself out; add some solid writing and good characterizations and we get this charming little story here. Good job.
one word: SEQUEL
The story was really great.
Green thumb incomming! bo-beep.....
You get 5 spikes from me:
And i just had to throw this one in:
1117258 i agree, there needs to be a sequel
Little dark in the wrong direction for my taste. Still a very touching story. I do feel some parts could have been fleshed out better. Personally, I think Spike should of been a little angry at the bastard as well as concerned for Rarity.
All and all, nice to have a worthwhile addition to the Sparity group's story folders.
Also, an epilogue about their vacation would be most welcome and appreciated.
Damn.
Well, good story, good story.
Well written, I must say. Slightly more detail might be something to add, but it's just fine the way it is.
you're going in my read later box for now
This was good. This was really good.
A sequel would be awesome, but I'm pretty happy with just this.
1117397i agree with you on that one
Let's hope this isn't "The Ticket Master But With Spike Instead"
I'd love to see a sequel to this please.
Epilogue!
This seems like an episode a brony would want to write only to get turned down by Hasbro, you're a genuis my friend!
Needs a dark tag. Rape is the ultimate dehumanization. To rape someone is to say that they don't have a right to their own body. This is definitely not "slice of life" territory.
So Rarity finally got raped. I knew this would happen sooner or later.
"Some sexual references, but nothing too mature. Some head-canon might be included, I wasn't exactly sure."
Zecora is best pre-read discalimer.
Great job Rarity's parts are very well written, and I can tell you took your time with this.
This was a good read, and I approve it of awesome.
SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL!
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/138/244/funny-barack-michelle-obama-face.jpg?1308706785
1117258 I can just imagine that one going Netorare
but if a happy sequal is made then Im on board.
1117258 sequel is needed
1118000 I'm agreeing with you at the top of my lungs. Readers NEED to be warned about the contents of this story with a dark tag.
OR at least, the Mature rating. The dark elements of this teen rated story are not things I can find in any pg-13 movie, but I see it in plenty of R rated movies.
I'm going to tear Gray's unmentionables off
“If would be so kind.”
Shouldn't that be "If YOU would be so kind"?
As for the story, personally, I didn't like it. Grey was illogical- He obviously already had a willing partner, so what he did made no sense. The writing is a bit rough, and some of it is rushed and confusing.
I won't thumbs you down, though. I know it's a learning process :)
This is me:
Needs to go to bed. Glances at Feature box. Sees One Ticket Extra. Reads description. "I'm interested." Reads word count. 5300. Looks at clock. Should've been in bed twenty minutes ago. Reads first paragraph. Faves and likes so he'll remember in morning.
I'll get to it in like, 12 hours, until then I like where it's going after reading just the first paragraph and description. Call me an optimist and laugh, but I'm too tired and too nice to NOT do this. Oh, and you can keep the like, even if I think it's crap.
B-E-A-Utiful
SEQUEL *or how-ever you spell it*
Please make a sequel, or else i'll end up like this ----->
1119542 Gotta say I agree.
1117647 I agree with you.
1118000 I don't think it was quite dark enough to warrant such a tag...compared to some of the dark stories I've seen over the years; from different franchies. But then again, just mentioning confirmation such a Haines (I think that's how it's spelled) act is ghastly in itself, so you may be right.
despite the emotional tolls that it brought, Rarity manage to umm.....pick herself up. She even managed to convince herself to keep the foal once it was born. Only thing was the highly potential public shame and humiliation that no one could bear; to avoid that, Rarity and her parents decided to refer her newborn daughter as her baby sister and keep her true parents a secret, even to Sweetie Bell (Imagine her reaction should she ever learn the truth of who her real mother is.
)
As for that lack of material for the "slice of life" tag, that could be fixed with some added on material that is elaborated on.
Like for example: As a result of the incident (which happened roughly 9 years before the events of "Mare on the Moon" BTW) resulted in a pregnancy for poor Rarity.
At author: You sir just won the internet.
1127086
How many times have you seen rape discussed in PG-13 movies and T -rated video games? Not very many, am I right? There's a reason for that . Rape can mess a person up for life. Even this story's Rarity is still fighting with it.. And can you imagine being the child of such an act? There's no way that it could be good for your mental health. Having to live your life raising a reminder of your violation is, in itself, a very dark topic and would just enforce my point.
10/10 mouchestaches
BUT WE NEED MOAR
1128502
I agree. I know people that have been raped and STILL struggle with it after twelve years!
Rape is the lowest form of crime. if their are levels of hell rapists are in the sub sub sub sub basement!
The very thought of rape is enough to make me want to harm the perpetrator
this is a very good story though.....SEQUEL!
1123685
me too
1119334
count me in!
no one has a right to another persons body against their wishes
1157796
And the fact that some folks turn it into a joke makes it even worse.
1157821
Oh my gosh yes! that's why I like this story, it shows how horrible it really is and how there are guys that don't see a woman's body as the measure of her worth. I am with my girlfriend because I love her, she's pretty, smart, funny, ect. I could go on for hours but you get the point. and I don't believe in "fooling around" until you are married to that person.
I don't care about my own safety, if I see someone being raped I'm going after the rapist
1123685
I think I already have 
S-E-Q-U-E-L 
It was good, except for the rape part. I hate it when there's rape in stories.
The story's not the end unless it says Completed.
Nice! Glad to see it continuing.
Is there a reason Gray's behavior makes me think of Hannibal Lechter?
Is good, well written but for Rarity to say she's repressed the memories enough to function at the spa and then to keep mentioning everything Grey did was odd. Edgar disowning his son was a cool additive
1849704 Well, inconsistencies are bound to arise, that's just how I roll.
I'll fix them soon enough, I've got a lot on my plate at the moment.
Edgar do you honestly think Gray's going to change, he's only gotten worse in the three years since he visited your spa.
Finally an update to this amazing story!
She then pulled out some rather saucy magazines of various female dragons posing seductively, fold outs included.
THAT'S MY BOY GET SOME!!!!!!!!!!
On other note what Rarity suffered would have her just a bit more shaken up . She seems to talk about this so freely and if I was Spike I would hate to hear anything over and over again.
Will Spike come along too?
Happy STFU. Alright, an AVGN fan.
And I hope Spike comes along so if Gray tries anything, Spike will make him feel true suffering.
Ehm...ok so you appreciate the criticism, right?
Then, let me say this right off the bat:
I did not dislike the fic. I liked the events in the story.
But the reactions of the characters were really flat.
I mean, the story went like this:
Story me
rarity gets two tickets to a spa. aha.
Rarity for some reason doesn't want that her
money goes to waste and decides to invite somepony else. Ok. I understand that.
Short cameos of the mane six. Ok. I didn't choose this fic because I wanted to read
about Applejack and co. It's all about Spike and Rarity.
Rarity goes to Spike. But something is bothering her. I wonder what that could be?
She talks to Spike about her ex-lover. Ooooookay...Well, she doesn't know that Spike likes her so
And how willing she was to get down and dirty with him. why should she be delicate about it?
Spike is ok with that. Wow...Spike...you're a male among males. I'd at least feel
uncomfortable.
Rarity just tells Spike that she was abused Wo-ah!!! This just got serious! Spike will surely have
at the same Spa she was planning to go to relax... something to say about it.
Spike is ok with that. ....really?
Spike accepts to go with Rarity.
The two kiss and Twilight is ok with it. I like that kind of Twilight.
The end. Wait already?
Please don't think I'm trying to be mean. I really liked it and because I liked it I know that it hasn't used it's whole potential.
I'm sure that if you try to make the reader feel what the characters are feeling, this fic would get 90% better.
Still, I'm sure you'll get a lot better in the next chapter.
I'll be watching you.