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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Smooth Pyre, smooth.
God dammit that made me laugh out loud
While I’m OK with Slice of Life there still needs to be the discussion about his Alcoholism like the day after the Power Ponies episode
Max and Primrose are going, without backup, to see a Medic who is a Ace Ventura fan?
My surgery goes up to 11.
thanks pyresteed for the lols
Personally I think the ability to swallow a spoon is a skill
So out of curiosity is Pyresteed and Max going to get together? It seems like she wants that but I'm not entirely sure how your going to play this. This doesn't seem like a poly story.
Now I'm questioning if Pyresteed should be left alone for any amount of time.
9943829
I agree! Twilight loves Max and has concern for him and it just doesn’t seem like her to just drop the topic. Know Twilight she’s be trying to talk about it with Max as soon as possible.
I hope we can continue to have longer chapters! I’d rather wait 2 weeks for a chapter double this length and spend a while reading and enjoying myself than just have it be a short thing I do every weekend. Maybe something around the size of the chapters in the original?
I’m addition, I’m kind of sad that the relationship between Twilight and Max isn’t really the same. In the original Max and Twilight were two lovebirds that would do anything for each other but now all Max does is swear, be rude and drink.
If this is part of Max’s character arc then it has to be done right! Maybe these problems are apparent because of his alcoholism? The Twilight from the original wouldn't have just let it go. I mean, before she got so angry at Max for putting himself in danger because she loves him so much! So why would she stand by while Max’s alcoholism worsens?
Anyway that’s just my opinion. Despite how it may seem I am actually very much enjoying the story so far!
I laughed when Pyresteed choked on her spoon. At first I thought she was gagging from seeing Max, and Twilight 's interaction, but then I scrollled down a little further to read the rest ofd the sentence.
I was really thinking Max would feel a bump in her belly. Lol
What the others said: love the big slice of so-comfie life, but waiting for the serious stuff too. I’m sure Max and Primrose CAN’T handle walking from the library to the chariot and from the chariot to the castle interior by themselves, but am looking forward to them trying!
Oh jeez, the first half of this chapter was so wholesome.
I have issue why this story is so popular. Is the story bad , no... but I've seen many story the same way except one crucial component. This story is a sequel to an extremely popular (and old) story that ends badly. And I understand that the sycophants hate what I'm saying but that's exactly what word is.
9944138
What do you mean “badly”, if you meant it left unanswered questions then yes but that doesn’t make it bad, this is the whole point of writing the sequel
9943829 Don't you worry. Several wake-up calls are on their way. Don't you worry.
9943939
9943941 Maybe. Maybe not. I'm still playing around with the idea. We'll just have to see.
9943999 I want to avoid longer chapters, because too often two weeks turn into two months and then I'm struggling to update because of how long they are. I understand people wanting more to read, but I'd rather be able to release chapters consistently than release big, meaty chapters. That being said, several future chapters might get close to the originals. Maybe.
As for the relationship between Max and Twilight, it goes both ways. Twilight notices that Max isn't acting the way he used to, but she is also distracted by things that she's not telling Max. She's basically tiptoeing around him (which one could say is the reason he's getting away with it) while she figures out how to deal with her own issues. That being said, she's not going to stay on the sideline for long. There comes a breaking point, which we'll get to soon-ish.
9944042 That would have been interesting, actually, but I think it's a little early for that to happen. It's only been about a month or so since she found out. I think it's about six months that a real horse begins to show outward signs.
9944138 Ends badly? I guess that's a matter of opinion. I can see how some people might not have liked how it ended, but I'm not sure how you would describe it as 'bad'. Even so, if that was the case, why are you reading the sequel if you didn't like how the previous one ended?
9944138
It’s also because of the comedy, SoL tags this kinda needs a dark tag with the alcoholism and nightmares. When I open a comedy fic I don’t expect to see those things except when it’s in jest like it was until the last chapter
9944253
Just so long as the breaking point doesn’t reach domestic abuse (drunk Max accidentally or in a fit of rage slaps/punches Twilight)I think we’ll be OK with it
9944276 Good heavens, no.
9944253 Don't gimme that look, Twi puts the PRO in procrastination, and Max is a practical joker.
...Not to mention that Max has been blasted with magic so many times at this point, I wouldn't be (too) surprised if he did end up preggers.
I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting a sequel. But this has yet to disappoint, but if we're going to keep following the timeline I can only imagine how shit will hit the fan as we near closer and closer to Tirek. I wholly expect there to be Dragon Ball references since Max probably knows the show if only in passing.
But yeah, so far the setup is coming together nicely. I'll admit I'm a little surprised Sweetie Belle hasn't come to visit him yet, he is best buds with the CMC after all. Plus I'm dying to see the reactions of all those mares who thought they could use humans as breeding toys. Like how Mrs Cake acts around him now, or how others like Cheerilee who were afraid of him act now. Plus we have other humans from the last book to check up on, not to mention checking in with Lyra and her marefriend.
You honestly impress me with how much raw materials you've left yourself for an original plotline. Plus with the full scope of Equus now known to us there's a chance of future elements being introduced early which would be interesting. These are just my thoughts on the matter though. You're a talented writer so I have no doubts that what comes next will be quite satisfying.
KEEP GOING STRONG!!!!!!!
Bummer. I was kind of hoping Max would get involved in some magical super hero shenanigans. Mostly I've been hoping for him to get involved more in the plot in general. More so, I've been hoping for some developments to steer things away from the canon episodes to really distinguish this story as its own thing, like its predecessor did with all those hints about divine entities mucking around in the background. Hopefully this checkup will reveal something interesting.
If past incidents are anything to go by, I beg to differ! Being left alone with any of these so-called guards is basically guaranteeing trouble at this point, especially given that you're both technically patients and will inevitably be separated. I can see some upset ponies blaming Max for this upset of the status quo and taking advantage of him leaving the safety of Ponyville. At least that's what I'm hoping happens, or something equally exciting.
Also, might be interesting if Pyresteed went along.
So, Max. In Canterlot. With probably the only ponies in Equestria outside of Twilight herself who know she is pregnant.
There's a coin tumbling through the air, one side they tell, other side they don't. Let's see which side it lands on.
9944836
You forget the edge landing
9944777 The problem is I don't generally like when a HiE story as the human smash his way through the canon episodes (especially when they're bronies who have inside knowledge) as it feels like it's taking away any lesson the Mane 6 might learn along the way. That being said, if enough people want Max to get involved, there are several episodes that shenanigans can happen around (looking at you, Flutterbat ). That being said, Max isn't going to be idle. He's going to be having his own... episodes to deal with, as we'll be seeing very soon.
9944836 No spoilers, but let's just say that someone will be getting that plot point rolling. Just not the someone most people think.
9944253
As fun as a mini harem would be with Twilight and Pyresteed vying for him, I kinda doubt Pyresteed would be much more than a 5 year old, intelligence-wise. It just wouldn't feel right to treat her as a woman despite her mature stature.
Although now I've got a mental picture of Pyresteed and (the pony) Screwy running around barking at squirrels because it's fun.
The spoon is a lie.
9944898
Thank you. I'm never a fan of when writers rewrite the show's episodes with their OCs. I much prefer your idea of showing that the girls' adventures are happening while Max has his own going ons, maybe even have some of Max's episodes affected by what the girls are doing.
9944940
Yeah, Max has always had a problem with the idea of getting with one of the Equestrian humans. I guess to be fair he now knows they're more intelligent than that, but I still don't think any of them are on the level of intelligence he'd be satisfied with. Interacting with Pyresteed, despite the fact that he can understand her and directly talk to her, is still more like interacting with a dog than it is a fellow human being.
9944861
Someone lets it slip, but Max totally misunderstands it and so is none the wiser? Yeah, that does fit with how their relationship has worked when it comes to communication so far.
9944898
Lessee, Luna or the healers are the obvious ones, so they're out. Pinkie sense is too predictable a cliché at this point, so smaller chance for that. Likewise for Cadance, since being the alicorn of Love/Family would put this right up her alley makes her another obvious choice. Hmm... could be Rarity noticing something measuring Twilight, or perhaps Fluttershy notices changes in behaviour...
9944940
Heck, Pyresteed is an Equestrian human, she probably is around 5 to 10 or so.
9944898
Let's not forget attempted blood noms for a couple hungry ponies
Spinal Tap. Nice.
why is there no image i can think of for yelling about pyreseed's timing?
9945198
But this one goes to 11
Pyresteed is best human.
9944166
9944257
Keep in mind this story was almost 6 years in the making two of which where the last five story chapters. The end chapters can be boiled down to slapstick, Max rolling over on the Terran human issue, self insert criticism on readers criticisms and "storys over lol". Pretty much none of the standing plot points were resolved. The only ones that were spoken about we're so lightly glazed over that they might as well not have been. Am I saying it's a bad story, absolutely not what I am saying is the ending felt like it was written by someone who didn't want to write it anymore. I'm still reading this story because the ending to Your Human and you ending as little to no impact with the story.
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My gosh pyre. Your literally a dog. Or baby.
9944257
Personally, the ending wasn't bad at all, but it did feel inclusive. It left me with many question still and unresolved issues. Still, I did overall like the story and I am not one to give up on a story unless it absolute trash. And yours is one of the better ones on fimfic actually. On the leaderboard for most impressionable fics for me, which is a massive achivement. Sure thier are issues, but for someone is isn't a professionals author and writes for fun, I can't complain, though I can critic, but im pretty sure everyone has already told you all the critiques so ill spare ya day by not saying them. Unless you want me too Ill stick to praise. I could see that you part all your personal passion in it. So much that you have said you got burnt out. Regardless of any issues or unsatisfactory plot points or ending, I have full respect for the effort you put into making such an interesting story. That respect is why I am reading the sequel. That and any more interesting things you write, which so far in this story has been several. Also love your short stories you have written too. Just adding that here
... um. Confusion?
I can get not discussing certain things when certain persons are around - like, not talking about deeply disturbing shit with kids around - but are there topics which are time-inappropriate like that?
I mean, if you have an issue discussing this sort of shit in the morning (not sure why you would, but meh), just fucking say so.
Also, I don't think I mentioned this enough before. Assertive and husky Twilight? Me like.
This story chapter are priceless
Exception are the Asylum mindfuck chapters that were 2 or 3 chapers.
How that girl dont get herself killed swallow poisening or obstruct objects. O well...
Twilight getting laid is always a 'highlight'
10408117
To be fair that is a thing for a lot of people when it comes to eating, i myself have been told many times by many different people not to talk about certain things when i eat, things like sex being one of them, so believe me that is a thing as far as meal time is concerned, though not with everyone.
Holy Shit they have actual work? I was under the impression they are private bodyguards
Seriously the royal sisters care mutch for Twilight yet NOPONY care to replace the dissmissed guard...
Plot hole very mutch?
Do the knobs on his instruments go to 11?
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One can only hope for a fast improvement of Equestrian Human interlect... Pyre is cute but likes to get near Darwin Awards ...