Gallus the griffin nearly sabotaged his friends’ opportunity to return home to their families for the holidays due to his own lack of one. Though his friends opted to stay in Ponyville with him, Sandbar recognized that this was only a temporary fix for a more permanent problem. On the morning of Hearth's Warming, Sandbar gives Gallus a present that he hopes will make his Hearth's Warming, as well as the rest of his life, the best it can possibly be.
Written because I wanted to write a Hearth’s Warming story that wasn’t so much in the same vein as Die Hard like Lion Hearted was. Plus, I’m planning another story involving the Young Six in the near future and I thought this story would be a good way to dip my toes in with them, so to speak. Happy holidays, everyone!
It was very good. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!
Lion Hearted? I've never heard of that movie. What's it about?
9343462 It’s a pseudo-sequel to my AoT crossover I did 5 years back involving Annie and Gilda.
An informal review of your story has been posted here!
---> Review
Okay, first thing's first:
I think you put Gallus' name in place of Sandbar's name, since Gallus is the one waking Sandbar up, and it Sandbar is talking to Gallus in the very next line. Just a simple mistake. Easy to fix.
Now, for my thoughts on the story: I LOVED IT!
Okay, toning it down now. This story really did have the feeling of Hearths Warming/Christmas. You nailed it down perfectly. The excitement of young souls awakening on that joyous day, eager not only to receive gifts, but to see the light of happiness appear on the faces of their friends when they receive the gifts they've thoughtfully picked for them. They clearly understand the true spirit of the holiday.
In addition, the characters are all in character. Not only that, their gifts are in character. Even the way they give gifts and receive gifts is in character. Smolder is still shy about her cuteness, yet her dragon nature makes her want to use that tea set. Yona has her own crude but lovable way of explaining her gift, and of course her main reaction is The Glomp. Silverstream gives gifts in style, and her reaction to Gallus' gift had me laughing, especially because that's just what little miss "omg stairs!" would do (I'm not worried, she'll think to open the box eventually. "Oh my gosh! There's something INSIDE the box too!?" I also took the gift as a subtle ship-tease of Gallus and Silverstream. Jewelry is usually connect to romance, but I could be jumping to conclusions here. Another funny moment was Ocellus' method of opening her present. Of course she would do that. Do you know anyone personally who does that? They do exist.
I also like the details, both big and small. Gallus has claws and has never exchanged gifts before, so of course the package would be a little ripped up. Also, of course the Castle of Friendship would have a massive tree that puts the one in Rockefeller Center to shame. I also like how you used a famous quote for the title. "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb"
Speaking of that quote, it certainly works here. Also, I'm glad you made sure to mention that Gallus has stayed with Sandbar's family several times before this point, so this all seems like a logical decision on everyone's part. The idea of Gruff being convinced to sign the form by the idea of Gallus adding some griffon-ness to Sandbar was a nice touch too. You also captured Gallus' self doubt and feelings of unworthiness very well here. It makes sense that he'd be a little afraid of all this at first, until his new family expressed how much they truly want him, which led him to accept that he wanted them just as much so he could fill that emptiness inside him. Also, his whole thing really seems like just the thing the laid back yet kind and loyal Sandbar would do for a friend he really thinks is cool.
So yeah, everyone is in character, it captures the holiday spirit, it's heartwarming, I like how you wrote for Sandbar's parents. This was an amazing early Christmas present!
Also, are you familiar with the comic Brother From a Feather by Metal-Jacket444:
api-da.wixmp.com/_api/download/file?downloadToken=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsImV4cCI6MTU0NDU4MzA1NiwiaWF0IjoxNTQ0NTgyNDQ2LCJqdGkiOiI1YzEwNzUzOGQ4NGQ2Iiwib2JqIjpudWxsLCJhdWQiOlsidXJuOnNlcnZpY2U6ZmlsZS5kb3dubG9hZCJdLCJwYXlsb2FkIjp7InBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcL2FlMjNiNmU1LTI5MTYtNGNhNC1hZWNiLWVlMTk4MzkwNWY3M1wvZGNscXV5ZS0zNzMwZTk0Ny1lNDkyLTRjNGUtOWZkYy0zNmY3NjIwMDYzMjQucG5nIn19.u316FZbno5-Qdjk8o02bD038mlb4MSog4CJRkFLOUJQ
Anyway, thank you so much for gracing FimFiction with such a marvelous story, and may you have a blessed Christmas and a Happy New Year!
9343616
1.
Did. Thank you.
2.
Yes, my dad. I once taped every single fold on one of his gifts one year just so he'd be forced to rip the paper.
3. I'm mostly happy that I got the characters down so well in your eyes. I wasn't sure if I'd have to watch the other Young Six episodes I haven't caught up on yet, and while I plan to, I'm glad to be off to a great start.
Thank you for the review.
There are some portions of this fic that could use further proof-reading and editing but story-wise this was really adorable.
When all the students are initially exchanging gifts, the dialogue and interactions are really cute and wonderfully in-character. It was definitely my favorite part, and I liked it so much that it's the reason I'm commenting in the first place. There's some good stuff here.
Beachcomber and High Tide choosing to adopt Gallus was something that I initially disagreed with, but as I kept on reading I think it worked for this story quite well, and it's a really sweet concept, honestly.
Pretty decent, dude. I'd say to work on your proper grammar and to get a proofreader to make it stronger.
I'm not sure if Ocellus's gift to Yona is a perfect present or an awful present. On the one hand, it's an object yaks can smash forever. On the other, it's an object that will never be truly smashed.
Not too many stories feature Sandbar and Gallus as best-bros. I very much enjoyed it, good job! 👍🏻👌🏻
Quite heartfelt and I could really see this happening as I see them as best friends and Sandy's parents come off as pretty cool and caring and too put it simply Gallus getting adopted would make a great episode! In real life a 14 year old (my estimated age for them) is less likely too get adopted often over a little kid... it's sad.
By the way are you going too have him call his adoptive parents mom and dad or any of the related terms? It'll be cute!
Would you like to see a special review by Keldeo the Critic?
REVIEW
To the author - i seen this story in new stories section then read it (after you fixed the errors) a week ago and didn't leave a review. so here goes... firstly i love the ship it's rare to see act like that...being bros.
all the characters were on point and true to their show counterparts including sandbar's family (who i don't think we speak at all in the actual show!) you capture Gallus' emotions perfectly especially at the part of him saying ''it was too late to have a family.''
a very heart warming story that will bring a tear to your eyes!:)
I liked Gallus a lot more after "Hearth's Warming Club", as did so many others. It would be nice to see something like happen in the last season of MLP:FIM, but I'm not holding my breath.
(Prove me wrong, Hasbro.)
I'm upvoting and faving this. Nice work!
Aww! That was sweet! I wish there were more fanfics like this between these two, since I do see Sandbar and Gallus as more bros akin to Spike and Big Mac, or Applejack and Apple Bloom, than the romantic couple the fandom loves to portray them as.
So, Sandbar only had covers up to his knees then? Wouldn't he get cold?
And my heart just exploded with feels.
9675193 Fixed. Thank you.
I found this fanfic in class and I have to say is,even tho there were some spelling mistakes,it was still heart warming and adorable.Tbh I nearly cried when Gallus tackled Sandbar,I hope you keep up with the good work.P.S,Gallbar is my OTP honestly
To adorable to be a one shot it needs a continuation of them as bros now
Adorable and very well-done. The sad tag had me worried for a moment there.
Awww this is the most adorable Christmas story ever and gallus dose deserve a happiness in his life 😊
The feels! THE FEELS!
Who's sandbard?
10758088 Fixed.