Arcane Catalyst trotted off the train with his suitcase in tow. He had a list of things he needed to do in Ponyville, but he didn't have it on him because forgot to write 'bring list' on the to-do list. Not that it mattered, he knew the main two objectives, which were to visit a specific somepony, search the everfree for a specific creature, and gather scales from the hydra in Froggy Bottom Bog, who was due to molt any day now.
Of course, Arca's came to a grinding halt when a pink-on-pink mare zipped in from somewhere, tossed a large cannon down in front of her, and smiled in a way normal anatomy would not permit. "HELLO NEW FRIEND! PREPARE TO BE WELCOMED!"
Arca's eyes bugged out, and he took an instinctual step back. "Wait, Lemon, no! I just-"
Splat!
Arca's line got cut off as he was immediately coated in a mix of cake batter, streamers, glitter, and more. Looking more like a pony-shaped blob of batter, his tongue poked out, and lapped up some of the sweet batter before finishing his line. "...had this lab coat cleaned. Wait a sec… this is CAKE batter! Who are you?"
Arca flash-teleported a few steps forward, leaving behind the remaining batter as it crumpled to the ground in a pile of sugary goop. Before Pinkie could speak up to reply at high-speed, Arcane froze, eyeing her up and down. "I… pardon my asking, but are you by any chance a member of the Pie family?"
Pinkie let out a massive gasp. "Ohmygosh, I am! How did you know? Are you some kind of super mega ultra psychic pony? Did you hear about me? Read the wiki? Ooo, ooo, I know! You're from the fuuuuture!"
Arca hopped backwards, landing in a position similar to a dog getting ready to play with another. He had also gained a big, happy grin, albeit within the realm of physical possibility. "Nope! I'm just me. Arcane Catalyst, pleased to meet you! But you look and sound just like my old apprentice, Lemon Meringue Pie! Except you're pink! You even have a party cannon! What's your name?!"
"I'm Pinkie Pie! And you knew great-great-great grandma Lemon?!"
"Yeah! She followed her heart with a stallion called Sure Prospects to start a rock farm somewhere. But you're related to her? Does that mean you like parties?"
"UH HUH!"
"And baking?"
"YUPPEROONEY!"
"...and potions?"
Pinkie ducked down until she was almost touching snouts with Arcane. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking, new friend?"
"Say it on the count of three. One!" "Two!" "Four!" "Seventeen!" "Purple!" "Avocado!" "Sparkles!" "Sprinkles!" "Dunlepalan!" "Frlmnajckra!" "☆♡♤□○♧!"
"THREE!"
The pair stood up on their hind legs, cheering loudly for all to hear.
"POTION CUPCAKES, POTION CUPCAKES, POTION CUPCAKES!"
"To the lab! Er, the kitchen! The Lichen! Ooo, I need to get more lichen for my supply room. LEAD THE WAY, PINKIE!"
Shoom! The pair took off like a shot, leaving behind a pair of smoky outlines where they were moments prior. Pinkie hopped along while Arca galloped at blinding speeds, grabbing materials from market stalls as they zoomed past and throwing them into the emergency mixing bowl pinkie had in her mane.
"Flour!" "Eggs!" "Butter! Heh, butt." "Milk!" "How much sugar?" "How much you got?" "A five pound bag!" "That's all?!" "The spare is my lunch!" "Add both!" "Okie doike loki!" "Now pick a potion!" "Which one's which?" "Not telling, it'll ruin the surprise!" "ADD ALL THREE THEN!" "FANTASTIC IDEA!"
The orange and pink blur blitzed through town, leaving enough of a wind in their wake to knock some ponies over. At last, they reached sugarcube corner, rushing around to the back door leading to the kitchen. Pinkie used the door, zipping up to the oven and shoving the now-mixed cupcake batter into the oven. Arca used the window, leaping over Pinkie and setting the oven to 400. Both immediately sat down and watched the oven like a pair of foals on Hearth's Warming, wagging their tails almost too fast to see.
For all of three seconds.
"Uuuuuuuugh," Arca groaned, flopping backwards. "How much longer? This is BORING."
"I knooooowwwww," Pinkie replied, having curled into a ball on the floor. "But we have to cook it for 40 minutes at 400 degrees or it won't be right!"
Arca looked up for a second, glancing at the oven. "...what about 4 minutes at 4000 degrees? Would that work?"
Pinkie looked up from her backup-backup bag of sugar to offer a reply. "I tried, but the oven doesn't get that hot. And when I asked Twilight she gave this long explanation that made it sound like it would be as bad as mistaking confectioner's sugar for flour!"
Arca smiled, pulling the not-even-warm cupcake mix out of the oven. "Who said anything about the oven getting that hot? I got magic."
Pinkie's eyes sparkled, before narrowing into a look that dared Arcane to defy her. "Ante up."
"How about 1 minute at 16,000 degrees? No, no, HOW ABOUT ONE BUCKING SECOND AT 960 THOUSAND DEGREES?"
"Do it."
Arca levitated the tray out the window. "With pleasure. Princess Celestia taught me this trick. SOLAR NOVA!"
"It's really nice to finally get together with you guys again," Spike remarked. He was getting a little bigger, so he was riding on Big Mac's back as the pair trotted to Sugarcube Corner. As soon as they got snacks for O&O night, they'd head to-
FOOOOOOOOOOOOM
The drake's train of thought was interrupted by a hyper-condensed beam of solar energy impacting the backyard of the bakery like a prominence spell, for exactly one second. He could just make out some voices.
"Did that do it? I think I only managed 480,000 degrees." "No wonder they look half-baked. HIT 'EM AGAIN!"
FOOOOOOOOOOOM
"You missed an O! That was only 11, not 12 O's in that foom!" "Whoops, sorry!"
FOM
"Perfect!"
Spike frowned as Big Mac turned around and started walking the other way. "We're not getting snacks anymore, are we?"
"Eeeeeyup."
Despite the sizzling, charred black spot in the backyard, Arcane levitated back in the cupcakes, which were perfectly cooked in defiance of all logic. "Done! Oh, that was just like old times. I like you, Pinkie! We have to do this again sometime."
"We aren't done yet," Pinkie retorted, grabbing a cupcake and smooshing it against one of Arca's as though toasting with a wine glass. "Cheers!"
"To new friendship!" Arca cheerfully replied as they both tossed their cupcake to the other, chomping them out of the air in one bite.
"So, mister Catalyst, what kinda potions did we add in these?"
"Oh, one of my favorites! Hopefully I get it right this time. We should find out in three, two, one..."
"Come on, Mac. Whatever it was stopped. Look! See? Sugarcube corner is fine. Can we please go get snacks? I don't wanna trust Lyra with it again, she only brings pretzels."
Big Mac reluctantly glanced back at Sugarcube Corner. "Eeeeenope."
"But-"
FLOOF-CRUNCH
...only for the entire bakery to be lifted off its foundation by a cupcake-shaped mass of orange, purple and pink fur just as large as the building itself, which proceeded to unravel to reveal an actual giant cupcake. Of course, Sugarcube corner immediate crashed back down (without any damage, somehow) since a cupcake of any size makes for a poor foundation. Cake and icing splattered everywhere, flooding the immediate area in a sugary mess.
"Was that supposed to happen?" "No, but it was awesome! Let's try again, I got another batch here!"
FOOOOOOOOOOOOM
"...fair enough, I wouldn't wanna go back there either."
I suppose the alternative is being the cupcakes. And not in the fun way.
FOM
Aw, how sweet
sweet easter morning!!! that's far to much chaos that i think it TKO'd discord in his house.
also i know i'm playing with a nuke at this point buuuuuut ............... (slowly hands pinkie a main growth potion)
10927041
What do you think was in those cupcakes...
10927054
....................... by the name of Garfield himself.
10927054
Three of a kind?
10927030
You're damn right FOM.
Were all doomed...
There's nothing about that sentence I don't love.
480,000 degrees Fahrenheit? That's over 260,000 kelvins. Even if that plasma only existed for a second, it would irradiate the surroundings with hard UV and x-rays. I'm pretty sure any life within several meters would at least have wicked sunburns.
10927128
I play my counterspell card, "Cartoon logic".
Your move, fom. Fam.
10927128
The only life in that radius was Pinkie Pie (most explanations for her come with immortality, and a lack thereof leaves things even more open) and Arca (about as explained as any magic not written by Brandon Sanderson, and definitely immortal).
The power of sugar, spice and everything nice mixed with potiony perfection into a sugar high, that's what this chapter was all about! I was cackling at the insanity that they brought forth!
I also loved the fact that Pinkie Pie had an ancestor who was just like her, and that somehow chose the quiet life in a rock farm.
Probably got too much Arca in her life, that ancestor Pie.
10927210
"They had a musical number about true love! How could I possibly compete with that?"
To be fair, Lemon meringue Pie was initially intended to be alluded to in a later chapter for a completely different gag, but hey, who am I to argue when it fit so well?
10927128
That gag had 2 inspirations, by the way.
One, This image, and two, This line from mythbusters.
I was already prepped to run away when I saw the title of the chapter. I am glad to say I enjoyed the ride and I appreciate the cupc--sweet Celestia why is it growi--
May I make a suggestion? Run
10927426
I’m betting Twilight will look out her window at just the wrong moment to see a Solar Nova in the vicinity of sugarcube corner.
It will take her all of two seconds for her body to instinctively realize what happened, three seconds for her mind to realize she preformed a sonic rainboom, ten seconds to question why she is flying at rainboom speeds, 15 seconds to fully process the fact Pinkie Pie and Arca have finally met, and one second to start pushing herself to perform a double rainboom to get away from ground zero of Equestria’s Armageddon faster.
Princess Boss, on the other hoof, will be flying towards the danger as fast as she can… with a certain someacra’s mother and somepinkie’s mother in tow.
10927711
I based that solar nova laser off of Gears of War's hammer of dawn, so... yeah. I'd hide too.
I have a theory that Arca can make a working hair growth potion but it requires a stabilizing agent that he cannot ethically source so he has been working on finding a substitute
10927767 It turns out that's NOT the case!
It just requires the tears of orphan foals! Ya just need ta beat em a little more when they come up to ya begging for food!
10927764 I combined baking with the sterilizing effects of gamma radiation! *channels the jets shooting off the poles of a supermassive black hole at the cupcake batter* Only 0.000000000001 seconds requires to bake AND kill off any food poisoning germs!
So, I've been reading this story again... and I am... kind of sad that Arca seems to have forgotten about his Couch Fortress.
Then I realized that with how long they have been alive Celestia and Luna might have enough Couches to build their own Couch Fortress.
What I am saying is that I am somewhat disappointed about the lack of pillow and/or Couch fights... or would they be battles with how scaled up they would likely be? Or perhaps a tour of the Couch Fortress? Mayhaps it somehow has a working bathroom despite it being made entirely of couches?
Lmao
Absolutely stupendous! That is all.
I really got a "cooking with Undyne" feeling about that.
Glad to see I wasn't mistaken ^^
pinkie and arca are amazing together!
And so it begins
Not today no
Well, I hope Spike hops off and goes to investigate, because it is the sort of emergency that someone fireproof would.be especially useful in dealing with.
(Keeps reading) Huh... Surprisingly small blast radius... Maybe Arca put a 1 mile tall circular shield around it?