“Come on, Razzle! Please?! You gotta gimmie it right now!”
“No, Arcie. Not until you kiss me like you mean it~”
“PLEASE?! I need it right now!”
“No.”
“You got what I want! You KNOW how badly I want it!”
“Not until you kiss me on the lips, big guy.”
“But it's issue 37 of Detective Surehoof! That's the one where the mob boss Iron Chain gets introduced, and I've never read it!”
Razzle wiggled the comic in her magic. The trade exchange was in full swing with the afternoon sun high in the sky, and she had a feeling her crush just might cave this time. “And it can be yours, if only for a single, loving smooch.”
A rather nerdy looking stallion happened to trot by. “I'll take that offer!”
“It's not an offer for you!” Razzle shouted at the poor colt. “Now, then, my precious Arcie-poo, what say you? One kiss and it's all… Arca? Where did he go? Hey!”
Razzle watched as Arca was dragged off in a glow of green magic. “Ooo, where are we going, strange pony I have never met before?”
Emerald rolled her eyes. She had been looking for Arca all morning to finally bring him to justice in front of the whole town. She could be hailed as a hero for finally bringing the menace to justice, and then the town would love her! She might even be able to up her prices and gain fame across the kingdom if the princesses were feeling generous. “We are going to see the princesses, Arcane. We have a few things to discuss.”
"We're gonna go see Celestia and Luna at the podium? Oh boy! I wonder how Luna's doing with her judgements on any trade disputes. I bet she's doing phenomenal!
"You'll find out soon enough. PRINCESS!" Emerald roared as she tossed Arca onto the the podium. He came skidding to a stop in front of Celestia, who was attending with Luna to tutor her through her first trade exchange. "I have a grievance!"
The solar princess stared at Emerald, shocked. She knew the owner of the jewelry store chain as a rich, sort-of noblepony (the ones that try to flaunt their wealth and power, she noted), but the fact that she essentially just assaulted one of her oldest and most important friends-
"Hi, Celestia! How are you doing today?"
...not that he seemed to mind, still put her in a bad mood. "Hello, Arcane. I'm having a pretty good day so far. How are you?"
"Razzle won't give me a comic book unless I kiss her."
Luna, having been briefed on the friendly succupony, rolled her eyes and replied sarcastically. "Truly, thine plight is one for the ages, as usual."
Emerald quickly retrieved a thick binder full of documents from her saddlebags. "Your majesties, this pony is a public menace, a liar, and a threat to society. And I have proof." She levitated the binder to Celestia, who gave her an inquisitive look. Regardless, she took it and cracked it open.
"That is a very serious claim, Miss Essence. I pray you have the evidence to back that remark up, or you might be facing charges for fraud and false accusations." She flipped through the binder as Luna glanced over her withers. Reports she had already read, local news articles about that week's catastrophe (often printed several pages in, as Arca hadn't made the front page with his shenanigans since he first discovered chocolate frosted doughnuts three centuries prior), a few ancient land grants and documents she was legitimately surprised to see given their age… nothing she didn't already know, however. And at the back, several complaints to town hall about him never recalling her name, with 'Rejected. Just buy something from him and be done with it' written on each. She sighed, and closed the binder. The whole crowd seemed to wait with bated breath as Celestia looked back at Emerald, and spoke.
"I don't see what the problem is here."
"Nor do we," added Luna. "Tis a tad long and boring to read, if we must make some sort of remark about it."
Emerald's eye twitched. "You don't see it? YOU DON'T SEE IT?! With all due respect, Princess, have both of you gone bucking BLIND!? He's caused more destruction to the local area in a week than most towns see in a year, his shop is an eyesore, and he has made numerous claims in several documents to being a knight, the royal alchemist, and founder of both the royal alchemy guild AND Rainbow Falls! And on top of all that, he has the AUDACITY to claim that he is over several hundred years old! His signature is clearly forged on those old documents, as there is no way in Tartarus he could have been here centuries ago!"
Silence. Not a soul in the crowd spoke. It was almost like the whole town was on mute.
And then Celestia and Luna burst out laughing.
"Wh-WHAT!?" Emerald cried out, shocked.
"Bwahahaha!" Luna reigned in her guffaws to address Emerald. "Thou art hilarious, Lady Essence! We have not laughed this hard since the jesters of old invented the pratfall!"
"Did Nickel Ingot put you up to this? Oh, this is rich! Just the laugh I needed!" Celestia wiped tears from her eyes as she kept on giggling.
"B-but he's a menace to ponykind!" Emerald pleaded. "He's a serious problem!"
Arca cantered over and put his two bits in. "The problem is that I'm not reading issue 37 of Detective Surehoof right now."
"Buck you! This conversation doesn't involve you, you bucking freak!" Emerald reared back and kicked Arca with all her might, catching him off guard. The impact was strong enough to send him flying off the platform, and-
RIIIIIIIIP!
"Princess-Boss? I know making my cutiemark a philosopher's stone was an accomplishment, but why did you send me a royal order to always wear a lab coat or similar clothing in public?"
Celestia sighed. It had only been a week since the incident, and she already had to take measures to prevent repercussions. "Because, Arcane, what you have is something that ponykind isn't ready to know about yet. It's for your own safety that you ALWAYS cover yourself when you go out, until I give you a formal document saying you don't have to anymore."
"W-will it stop ponies from calling me a freak and trying to hurt me?" The young Arca asked, his eyes full of hope.
"Yes. I've just issued a formal statement claiming that what they saw was just a side effect of your potions. Keep it it under wraps unless absolutely necessary and we can reveal the truth when the time is right. Now, let me show you this new art medium I found, I bet it'll cheer you up. It's called a comic book…"
That brief moment of his long life having flashed before his eyes, Arca landed on the ground with a THUD. Looking up, he saw his lab coat blowing in the breeze on a stray piece of wood jutting out of the platform. He turned his head, and saw the gathered crown of all the townsponies staring at him, exposed for the first time in centuries. Even the group on the podium, including that green pony he didn't recognize, were staring.
"N-NO!" He cried out, reaching for his coat. "NONE OF YOU SAW ANYTHING! I'M NOT A FREAK!"
Mayor Silver stepped forward. "Arca, are you alr-"
"I SAID DON'T LOOK AT ME!" Arca lit his horn so bright nopony could see. When the light faded, he was gone… along with a sizeable part of the ground he had been standing on.
Celestia watched it all with a shocked, and sad expression. She stood up, and her face morphed into one of disappointment with a hint of anger. She glared at one pony in particular, the current target of her ire.
"Emerald Essence."
"P-princess Celestia, I-"
"You have bucked up."
Those words hung in the air for a moment before the solar alicorn trotted to the edge of the stage. "Jezebel! You are coming with me to calm Arca down. He needs his oldest friends to support him. I know where he went… there's only one place he ever goes in times like this."
"Yes, ma'am!" Razzle spread her wings and took to the air as Celestia took off as well. They hovered in place for a moment.
"Luna! Stay here with miss Essence. I will be back to speak with her about this, as well as her accusations, once Arca has calmed down." She readied herself to fly off into the mountains, but Luna stopped her.
"Sister! Wait. How long has Arca-"
"For almost a thousand years, Luna..." She and Razzle took off flying, the succupony following the princess's lead. As they flew away, Celestia finished the sentence, speaking to nopony in particular.
"...and I've never seen a pony more ashamed of having wings."
Ooh, this just got real good! Though, poor Arca...
You're eeeevil. I approve!
9579159
Ssssh they might hear you!
Celestia's beard...that was unexpected
Beautiful. Absolutly beautiful
Oh dang. Did NOT see that coming!
I didn't see that coming.
... Good job!
WHAT THE WHAT!
... I really didn't see that comming...
Well makes sense make powerful magic
Connected to Celestia life force source for a bit
Powerful and crazy/eccentric
I had to re-read the last few paragraphs over several times because that last sentence tripped me up. I thought it was referring to Jezebel with the wing statement. Then I read the AN.
I agree with
9579159
You are evil. (The good kinda evil).
DARN it I was waiting to see the fall out of Emerald's accusation
princess arca
This spoiler is so spoilery that theres a warning before the spoiler is even read so SPOILER WARNING BELOW
that was an actual surprising twist! a well done unexpected one as well! you lured us off with "yeah he's immortal and needs to hide his philosophers stone cutie mark." so naturally we thought, "oh, the labcoat is to cover it!" and the usually completely expected cliche of, "secret alicorn" is now an actual surprise! This story is great!
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Huh, I'd pegged him as "qualified-but-never-bothered-to-go-through-with-it". Certainly I knew he had no interest in the status, but I never considered what he'd think of having those wings, to his mind, unearned.
When did a silly little comedy about a crazy alchemist acquire such depth?
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We'll probably see Emerald next chapter, bald and concussed from the sheer force of two alicorns verbally reaming her.
9579236
I seem to recall you calling this, like, two and a half months ago?
You have no idea how much willpower it took to not clue you in then.
WHAT!!! Wow I didn't see that coming.
Are you telling me Celestia essentially has kept him under wraps for a thousand year and never let him fly?!?
9579239
Can........:: can you do me a favour & put up a squidward throwing his brain away clip for me?? Please??
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Thanks. I needed this because that's how I feel right now about this chapter.
Wow... good twist. Never even saw it comming.
Wat.
I'm curious though. What was the false ending you gave your editors?
9579332
He fell of the stage, both princesses glare at emerald, and luna tells her she royally bucked up, to summarize it
Talk about eye candy.
...You know, we really should have seen this coming.
What a well-placed plot twist.
I don't think anyone saw that one coming.
Poor arca
Wow! I didn't see this coming, but it makes a lot of sense.
9579332
He has baby legs under there...
I noticed.
I'm sorry to say that as soon as you said he was immortal, I knew he an unicorn hiding his wings.
I just didn't want to bring it up until after you revealed it.
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As one of the readers who didn't, thank you for making a point not to spoil the surprise.
Nice.
It was at this moment, Essence knew... she bucked up.
Also it was kind of expected that he'd have Alicorn like traits... but a full blown Alicorn was something I never quite imagined. Yet i feel stupid now for not realizing it... I mean the energy he used to become a living philosophers stone came from an ALICORN.
Daaaang i didn’t expect that! Cool plot twist thought
I have mixed tough on this, not to sure about the idea of making him an alicorn, a ever lasting unicorn sure, but this changes the dynamics a lot.
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I... actually don't expect this to change things much. Aside from a few flight gags.
Actually... I think the alicorn thing makes him LESS special, and less unique.
9579775
I can understand that. Still, I planned this wrench to throw into the works back around... January, late December-ish to keep the story interesting when it started to get repetitive. Don't expect Arca to fly too much. He has some issues to work out about it.
9579775 He's got the wings but ironically and maybe its because of the stone he still apparently looks more like a unicorn rather than becoming more like Luna, Celestia or Candance.. Maybe instead of being an alicorn Acra is a winged unicorn as some stories have suggested Candance was
.....Bitch's gonna Die.
Well, that was quiet a surprise. I'm eager to see where this goes next. And I'm eager for Emerald's punishment.
well that escalated quickly, we all knew that Emerald would make a total fool of herself in front of the princesses but for Arca to be a secret Alicorn, though not completely unexpected because he is Arca, and be absolutely afraid of his nature. I feel sad for him and want to give him a big hug.
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Woot
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Wtf is wrong with that font and how do I do it