“Arcie-poo! How could you run off on me like that?!” Razzle bemoaned her crush. “I had to spend Hearts and Hooves day all alone because you didn't tell me you were leaving!”
“Oh, sorry, Jez- I mean Razzle,” the stallion quickly corrected himself. “*ahem*. Hey Razzle, I'm going to my guild for an important meeting. Please don't follow me or do creepy stalker stuff while I'm gone.”
“But I love you!” Razzle pounced forward to hug Arca, and for once he was too slow to react, being swept up in a loving embrace. “And you love me, admit it!”
“Let go!”
“Nuh-uh.”
“Razzle, I said LET GO!”
“Not until you get your daily dose of cuddles from your marefriend!”
“We are not dating!” Arca squirmed under her grip. Razzle held fast, nuzzling his cheek affectionately.
“So you want me to be your fiance, then? Oh Arcie, if you're seriously ready to take that step, I'd be nothing less than overjoyed!”
“Are you seriously that crazy, Razzle?!”
“Yes. Crazy for you~” Razzle leaned in and kissed Arca on the cheek, trying to make it as affectionate as possible to convey how much she loved him. It lasted all of three seconds as Arca remembered his magic and teleported out of her grip, dashing off towards the main building. “Oh, phooey. But I kissed him! I actually got to kiss him! I wonder if I can get another…”
Thankfully, some apprentices had seen their guildmaster coming, so they were able to clear everypony away from the doors before Arca slammed into them with enough force to swing the ornate entrance wide open. He barely even flinched from the impact as he kept running, with Razzle in hot pursuit.
“Get back here, lover boy! Do you know what most of my fans would give for a chance to snuggle with me?” The supermodel gracefully leaped over a water spill as Arca toppled over a mop bucket to try and delay her.
“I know what you'd charge them, and that's the issue!” Arca knocked on an office door as he sprinted by it. “Bunsen! I need you for a thing!”
A few moments later, Bunsen Burner opened his office door with a grouchy expression. “Arcane, as much as I hate to say it, I'm very busy and- ”
WHAM! Razzle slammed face first into the door, knocking it off its hinges and sending Bunsen toppling backwards into an unstoppable slide along the floor… straight into the mare's restroom down the hall. By the sounds of things, nopony was happy with that.
Finally, Arca flung a door open and dove in, finding himself exactly where he wanted to be: a laboratory. The various equipment made him feel right at home, and he couldn't help but slow his pace to a slow trot as he carefully maneuvered among it. That was, until Razzle came rushing in, skidding to a halt upon noticing her prize had accidentally cornered himself. “Gotcha, big guy. Ready to give up?”
Noting the lack of other ponies in the room, Arcane replied with a sly grin. “Oh, Jezebel. Or Razzle, or whatever you want me to call you. Did you really follow me all the way here?”
“I'd follow you to the end of Equestria, my love.” she stepped closer, her breath shifting Arca's unkempt mane ever so slightly.
“Well, I suppose such effort should be… given something to show for it.” Arca put a hoof over her withers, and Razzle felt a blush heat up her face. “Just you and me, in this private little setting… there's something I've always wanted to say to you, Jezebel, but we've never been in the right situation until now.” Razzle felt her heart hammering, ready beat out if her chest. The intimate moment she so long awaited was finally at hoof! She readied herself to not faint as Arca leaned in close to whisper in her ear.
“My sweet, silly little Jez… you're breaking rule number one.”
Razzle's eyes went WIDE. She knew exactly what rule number one was. And she had taken careful steps to never break it until now, fearing it would drive Arca away. “Arcie, wait! I can go get one, you don't have to do this!”
Arca shifted his hooves under Razzle and hefted her up above his head, opening a window in his magic. Thankfully they were on the first floor.
“NO LAB COAT…”
“Arcie, no!”
“NO LAB ACCESS!”
Arca flung Razzle straight out the window and into a nearby flower bed. He stuck his head out the window to add insult to injury. “And stay out!”
“ARCANE CATALYST!” Arca froze in fear as a new voice pierced the scene. A very angry Mage Meadowbrook stormed up to the window and gave the stallion her best mom glare. “Is that any way to treat a mare? Apologize right this instant or you're grounded!”
“But Boss, I-”
“NOW.”
Arcane's features deflated. If there was one thing that could consistently bring him down, it was his adopted mother. “Sorry for throwing you out of my lab, Razzle… even though you did break rule number one…”
“And since she's your marefriend,” Meadow continued her triade.
“Boss, she's not really-”
Arca got cut off as he was berated once more. “...you should do something to make it up to her! You offer to take her out to dinner tonight, buster!”
“No! Anything but that! Well maybe my comic collection… ugh, fine. Razzle Dazzle, do you want to go have dinner later? Now please say no, so we can move on with life...”
Razzle trotted up and kissed him on the cheek again. “I'd love to. You can pick me up for our date at seven, hot stuff~” She trotted off, swaying her hips a tad more than normal. “Don't be late!”
Meadowbrook shook her head and smiled. “You're lucky to have her, you silly pony. When can I expect grandfoals?” she leaned in, waiting for her son's reply. She did not get her answer, though, as Arca had something else on his mind.
“DID SHE SAY DATE?!”
NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS BECAUSE I AM SINGLE AND NOT INTERESTED IN RAZZLE DAZZLE
Are we every going to get a chapter on how razzle and arca meet
Oh dear. He's doomed.
Arca? Into
Also misspelling in your authors note
9476462
Soon my friend, soon.
You know, if a father found a boy treating his daughter the way Meadowbrook found Razzle treating Arca, he'd offer her his shotgun, not tell her to apologize to the boy.
Oh dear. His plan has backfired to the highest degree.
9476504
Good old double standards! Not like Arca'd ever kill anypony.
Take a page from Shining Armor and throw your would-be wife.
There are currently 420 likes on this story
Is Arcane stuck in a Ranma sitch or a Tenchi sitch?
Goddamnit Chrysalis
Are there no harrassment laws in Equestria? We're losing the funny alchemical hijinks, and getting romcom tropes. :(
This is really reminding me of Pepe Le Pew, the loony tune's skunk. Was that the intent?
9476604
Don't worry, if there's one thing I can promise, it's that when there's any sort of cooking equipment, Arca will make potions. And where there are potions...
But I agree, I have been focusing too much on Razzle. It's high time we go back to the way things were, yeah?
9476580
you know i was about to argue against that, but honestly, i really can't.
It was at this moment Arca knew, he floofed up.
9476719
Technically I can call whatever BS i want to, but yeah, from the current facts, that's a good argument.
9476801
Precisely.
9476573
Neither, there's only one girl after him, he's not dense and the hijinks result mostly from himself.
9476801
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Has Arca ever heard of a restraining order?
Meadowbrook is one those moms.... Poor Arca.
I'm changing it. Razzle needs The Duck as a pet so Arca will start chasing her to get to it! Or even better, let Razzle get what The Duck contains!
"She's my girlfriend against my will!"
9476604
Agreed. She stopped being funny after her second chapter and gets more uncomfortable with every appearance. Stalkers aren't funny unless they lose (and realize it), especially delusional ones that don't understand the word no.
9478331
I agree as well. I was too blinded by all the comments saying they shipped them, I lost track of where things were and I forgot the alchemy. Razzle will one day have a bit more backstory, and be around town, but this is the last we'll see of her for a while.
9476573
Looks more like a Timmy Turner sitch.
And I'M LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT!
9478498
I thought Arca just liked Berry-named ponies tbh.
While entertaining, I always found those kinds of situations in stories pretty uncomfortable to read. Arcane is basicly getting sexually harassed by Razzle and nobody seems to care or be his side on the matter.
And yes, I know, it's just a story, meant to be funny and all done in good faith, without meaning to make light of such situations in real life.
Still don't mean I have to like it, even if I enjoy the humor those situations create in the story.
9478468
I would not be surprised to find that the Berry family was given the task, by Celestia, to watch over Arca, but not allowed to let Arca know that.
9478914
Maybe? That's not a bad idea. But I'll tell you this right now... the berry family is NOT the only family Arca's taken on as apprentices. In fact, you've met three of his students in the story so far: Junioer, Bunsen Burner, and
9478961
Juniper, Bunsen, and ???
This razzle stalker bit has lost its edge. I absolutely love the rest of the story, but these parts just hurt to read. She needs to finally figure it out, or have meadowbrook actually listen to arca for once or something. This is by no means driving me away, but razzle is certainly getting repetitive
Arca: Haha! You've broken rule #1 Razzle, I have you now!
Meadowbrook: Owae wa mou-
Part of me REALLLLLLLLLLLY wants to punish MM for that..
I usually just kill clingy people like that...
...in ways no one can ever link back to me, no matter how hard they try.
How could I have sent an elephant stampede into the truck in Kenya while I was all the way back here, eh?
That was priceless. That was right out of a Mel Brooks movie.
9477010
Hmmm... I see your point, but at the same time, he has more firepower in his body than the Ponies who would be enforcing said order, so he might see it as lazy (while also having to much restraint to use said firepower). Come to that their might be an item against it on one of Celestia's lists:
"Arcane Catalyst is just as entitled to the investigative services of Equestrian law enforcement as any other pony of his rank. However if.there is a specific target know that he wishes arrested to stopped, he should do it himself."
Come to think of it, all it would take would have been trying up a platoon or two hunting The Duck for a few weeks to get that item added...