“Boss, what are you doing?”
“Counting the lab coats. I have a sneaking suspicion a certain somepony might try to take one before she skips town.”
“You mean Razzle Dazzle? What's her deal, anyway? Her attitude did a complete 180 when she saw you.”
Arca sighed, and rolled his eyes. “Her ‘deal’ is that she thinks that I'm the perfect husband for her, and that we were meant to be together like some kinda fairy tale. I thought I gave her the slip last time we met, but now she knows where my shop is, so expect-” A cheerful sounding jingle caught the pair's attention as a customer walked in the door. “Ah, crud. Shoulda seen that coming. Hello, Je-I mean, Miss Dazzle.”
That earned a giggle from the supermodel who had taken a standing spot in the small open area of the shop that wasn't an aisle. “Aw, did my Arcie miss me?”
Juniper looked at her boss, who smirked in response. “Of course I missed you, Razzie. Next time, you ought to stand still so I can aim better.” Shaking his head like a wet dog to reapply the naturally frazzled, poofy look to his mane that he kept toned down in polite company, Arca continued. “...And don't you have fans to attend to? Or anywhere else to be?”
Razzle giggled again, stepping forward. Arca stepped backwards in perfect sync, despite the mare being taller than the average pony. “Why, my silly little Arcie-warkie, I'm in the most important place I could hope to be! Well, aside from being wrapped in your loving embrace as you whisper sweet nothings and confessions of love into my ears, soft music playing in the background, then I nuzzle close and you-” Arca stomping his hoof on the ground thankfully led to Razzle snapping herself out of the daydream she had fallen into.
“Out with it, girl. I'd prefer if you not drain my time like a vampony drains blood.”
“I'm actually here as a customer today. You don't mind if I browse for a bit, do you?” The slender unicorn batted her eyelashes at a very unamused alchemist.
“Fine, I won't refuse a customer. Don't knock anything over, please. Juniper, I'll be in the lab… actually, YOU go make another batch of mana restoration potions. I'll take care of the customer this time.”
“Oh, hold on a moment,” Razzle interrupted the pair. She walked closer levitated a rolled-up poster to Juniper. “I apologize for leaving before giving you the autograph you came for. I was just so happy to see my Arcie-warkie~” she walked over, and Arca smiled. There was an imperceptible flash of magic as Razzle leaned against Arca, only for the cardboard cutout of Arca he had swapped with to fall over and make Razzle collapse to the floor.
“HA!” Arca poked his head from behind the counter. “You ain't gettin lovey-dovey with me today!”
Razzle deadpanned at the stallion as Juniper slowly slinked away into the lab. As soon as she was gone, though, that deadpan glare turned into a sly smile. “Well, now it's just the two of us.” She licked her lips, strutting forward and swaying her hips in a way she knew stallions liked. “You like? I'm all yours, Arcie~”
“Great. Again, please don't knock anything over. Potions for helping delusional ponies are on the third aisle on your left, top shelf, by the way.” He pulled out a clipboard and began scribbling on it. “Let's see… I need to order more bottles, and we're running low on hydra scales, but I'll have to get those myself…”
With the clipboard held close to his face so he could focus, Razzle crept closer until she was just behind the clipboard. Arca didn't notice, but there was a foot between their faces, at most. “What about your precious Razzie?”
“Oh, good idea!” Razzle's eyes lit up with joy until Arca continued. “Blue raspberry flavoring, I forgot we were out of that. I should probably get some heart's desire flowers, too… Hearts and Hooves day is coming soon, and they can be used for potions to improve relationships if you know how to do it right. Let's see, what else do I need…”
Razzle tore the clipboard away and lunged forward. “A kiss!” she closed her eyes as she entered a passionate embrace, holding her prize tight as she kissed with all the passion she could muster.
“...probably also need to brew some frost resist potions to deal with the cold snap planned for next week…” Upon hearing her beloved, she turned around and saw him counting the potions on the shelves. She turned, confused, back to what she had been kissing, only to find a log with the word ‘Arca’ painted on it.
“What? How?”
Arca smiled in response. “Years of preparation. Now, do you want to buy some potions, or pester me?”
“Very well. I will take some of… these,” she declared, grabbing a few potions designed to make the drinker sparkle as a cosmetic effect for a few hours. “You flavor them on request, correct?”
“Wow, good for you! You can actually read the sign on the counter that says that!” He gestured to a white sign with bold red lettering reading All potions can be flavored. Just ask! “No, seriously, Jez, good for you. Half the customers miss it.”
“Wait, seriously? How?”
“Beats me, it's pretty eye catching and obvious.”
“No matter. I would like these Arca flavored.”
“We don't carry that flavor. Your options are cherry, grape, strawberry, apple, blue raspberry, oat, floof off with the seduction, and daisy. Please, please pick the seventh one.”
“Well then maybe you should let me kiss you so I know which one tastes the most like you, Arcie. That way I can feel like I'm with you every time I take a dose~”
“Subtlety is not your strong suit, Jez. Cut it out.”
“Fine, fine.” Razzle paid for the potions, then reached behind her and produced a box with a bow on it. “Here, my love. A gift for you. No strings attached, no lies or tricks.”
Arca took the box in his magic and carefully opened it, revealing a pristine cake from the local bakery. “Wow. Alright, what's the catch? Is it spiked with love poison? Is it some kind of weird, edible contract? Did you add-”
“No dear, It's straight from the bakery in town. I just thought it would be neighborly to introduce myself before moving in next door.”
That got Arca to stop and do a double take. “DID YOU JUST SAY MOVE IN?!”
There are 333 likes on this story as of this moment. 'tis clearly a sign.
Is it bad that I totally ship them? Because I do.
Arca needs to keep Emerald around as a body shield. After all, I'm pretty sure Razzle is more likely to go after someone who insults Arca rather than Arca himself. She seems like one of those people.
"move in" probably isn't the right phrasing, I'd say"aggressively relocate" would fit better with her.
So, Arca has a mare that wants him GONE and a mare that WANTS him.
At least they are not sharing a home. Down that route, Tenchi and Ranma are found.
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Yeah, I'm trying to figure out when, where, and how thier real first meeting will go down. I'm not exactly counting the first one, but remember that Emerald wants to sell to the rich lady, but Razzle/Jez doesn't wear jewlery outside of photo shoots. After all, Arca will boot anypony with loose jewlery out of his lab, and she wants to be there with him.
Praise the LOG!
I... can actually see something like that happening in real life...
That weird unicorn from the shop down the street will have a conniption.
... what was her name again?
lol nice
You should have the one customer who can never make up his/her mind.
I wonder, did Arca ever give her a chance and actually date or did he only reject her for all these centuries?
Substitution Jutsu
So is she a real succupony, a changeling queen, or a siren?
Rainbow Falls is legit doomed now.
Huh, well that's oddly rational of her, I wonder what she's-
Ah.
Is Rainbow Falls a real town in the show?
9433276
Yup! Featured in two episodes, "Rainbow falls" and "Trade ya!" If i recall
I work retail and you don't know the half of it
Mark my words that woman will catch The Duck, and when she does Arca is doomed
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Or she will choose it to be her pet, either way some results
Arca is going to have a baaad time. Or good, if he likes to trick Razzle.
(starts setting up a new danger zone) to save the good mayor some time.
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yes
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good idea we need five more rings of danger fifty feet past the last ones.
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try 80. because that's how far I'm at setting the new line.
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okay thats a better idea.
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And yet, I regret nothing.
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ikr? anyway I better hurry before the next chapter comes out. I do not want to be the diamond dog that didn't save a pour filly.
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of course you do
Quick, what's the opposite of "Howdy neighbor!"?
Best.
Grabs computer.
Chapter.
Walks over to window.
So.
Opens window.
Far!
Throws it out window.
That was Yeet worthy
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#ULTRAYEET
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"Floof off and Die"
The neighbor plan is not bad. Arca can't just leave the town after all.
I'm quite interested how her backstory will turn out and if it is one of those "she actually loves him, but he doesn't believe her" situation.
9434594
Begin Thot!!!
Lettering.
Ahhh, the good old "cardboard cutout switch", classic
That she did, should be fun
I count oats as seventh one.
Edit: Disregard my comment, I read "blue raspberry" as separate options.