"Boss?" Juniper called up to the dusty attic of the building. Arca had been up there rummaging around for quite a while. If it wasn't for the occasional strange noise (the strangest so far having been a drunk sounding stallion ranting about the multiverse and some kind of dipping sauce), nopony would have even realized he was up there. "What exactly are you looking for?"
There was a sudden jingling as the front door of the shop opened. Juniper had to do a double-take as Arca trotted in the front door with a takeout bag from hayburger. "Oh, hey Juniper. Did I find that thing in the attic yet?"
"I- you- but-" The pegasus shook the confusion from her head. Arca was being impossible again, she just needed to play along and it would go away. "Forget it. No, 'you' didn't find anything. Why don't you go look for yourself?"
"Well, I would, but I actually found what I was looking for at Hayburger. It was just hanging in the window! And here I was thinking I had put it in the attic. Behold!" He proudly held up a laminated rectangle in his magic. "The Help Wanted sign! We've been picking up more tourist traffic than ever lately, so I think it's high time we find somepony to work alongside you! Also the lab's on fire after I tried making S'mores and it's gonna be a three-pony job to fix."
"Wait what was that last par-"
"There we go!" Already having turned away, he hung the sign in the front window. "Now we wait for the crowd of teenagers who don't have two year's experience of having two year's experience." Almost immediately, there was a knock at the door. "See? We already have an applicant! Good morning sir or ma'am, welcome to Alchemiracles, are you looking for employment today?" Throwing the door open, Arca found himself nearly touching muzzles with a very excited-looking Razzle Dazzle holding a resume in her mouth, tail wagging like a dog.
"No."
"Pleeeeeease?" She looked at her crush with puppy-dog eyes, honed over centuries of practice.
"Don't you have a supermodel thing to go do instead of hiding… where were you hiding, anyway?"
"I was hiding under your porch because I love you!"
For a moment, Arca did not respond. Then, he let out a loud, annoyed groan. "And what are you two doing here? I thought we talked about this last month." He asked past Razzle.
"Hello there, Mr… Catalyst, correct? My sister and I are here to apply for part-time jobs here at Alchemiracles. Our workload recently was lessened and we'd like to have some extra income for a rainy day."
"Verily, we think thou whilst find our resumes to be most exceptional! We are more qualified than our sister, though."
Celestia and Luna now stood behind Razzle. Any other pony would have probably fainted upon seeing the Celestial sisters applying for a job, but Arca wasn't most ponies. "I thought I talked you two out of retiring."
"Have you met my faithful student turned fellow princess, Arcane? She did all my paperwork. All of it. Before I even woke up! I just had to run day court and had the afternoon free."
"So my princess-boss, other princess-boss, and a clingy, immortal supermodel are all applying to work here." He let out a sigh before crying out to the sky. "Anypony ELSE wanna apply?!"
"Quack."
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT MY MOTHER?! GET OVER HERE YOU STUPID DUCK, I'M GONNA FIRE YOU UNTIL YOU'RE WELL DONE!" Arca barreled past all three applicants, rage in his eyes as he chased his lifelong rival off the property.
Juniper just shook her head sadly as she imagined the news tomorrow. "Well, I guess it's my job to screen you lot until he gets back. Apparently the lab's on fire, so let's see how your emergency response skills are…"
One hour and 7 million bits in collateral damage later, Arca returned covered in glitter glue, eucalyptus leaves, and soot, and somehow he had swapped his lab coat for a tye-dye tuxedo and a pink ten-gallon hat. Nopony found this abnormal: in fact, it was one of his tamer rampages against The Duck.
"Got away again, Arcie-warkie? Need me to kiss anything better?" Razzle fluttered her eyelashes at Arca, who just shot a glare her way before sitting behind the counter.
"So what are your qualifications?"
Celestia didn't waste any time. "I have over 2,000 year's experience with business practices. If I recall, I have personally trained you in advanced alchemy after Mage Meadowbrook disappeared, and while I will admit you have surpassed me in that regard I am still among the best potion makers in Equestria."
Luna spoke next. "We do not know much about alchemy, but we have spent decades on the battlefields defending Equestria! We shall happily assist thee in guarding the store and also hunting that waterfowl the seems to elude thy grasp!"
Razzle giggled as she imagined the kind of unbridled destruction Arca would be capable of causing if he teamed up with Luna. "Well, I was your apprentice a few centuries ago. You remember how good I was at that. Also, I might not be able to work all the time because I have photoshoots and events to attend, but I'd gladly mention your shop for publicity and also let the world know we're perfect for each other. Also I'd be available for dates at any time, just say the word."
"Are you ever gonna drop that? Fine, maybe I'll take you on one date to humor you… eventually. Now then, where do you lot see yourselves in five years?"
"Happily married to my darling Arca with a foal on the way."
"Hopefully Twilight will work with us to build a brighter future for the kingdom."
"We agree! We look forward to working with Sparkle! And hopefully here as well, should thou allow us."
"I hope to be right here in five years, still making potions!" Everypony turned to face Arca, who had somehow moved over to the other side of the counter and was sitting next to Luna as if he was another applicant. "Okay Juniper, your turn!"
Juniper facehooved. "I have a question. Why me?"
I'd love to see al three hired. There's some real Shenanigans to be had there.
ALL THREE! ALL THREE!
ALLLLL OF THEM! MWAHAHAHA!!!
I would say all three.
And there goes the town... again
Why indeed.
I would like to see all three of them hired. The only question though is how long can they keep up with Arca's... instincts. Also, something tells me that if they are to be hired, then all three of them need to be up to date on the many 'lists' that he has. Including Razzle... Definitely including Razzle
all three
.__.
9887657
"There goes the town again."
Town? What town? Only craters.
Ah, I see you too are a man of high IQ
Hire the next pony to enter the shop no questions asked.
I appreciate the general consensus in the comments that all three should be hired on, but I'm gonna vote for Luna since she has absolutely no idea how to brew a potion and that would be funny to read about
But yeah, all three would work too.
9887689
"Next applicant!"
"Quack."
"Oh, floof me."
9887661
Should I ask if Arca has a replacement town in the junkyard like he does with his shop?
9887700
You shouldn't need to. >_>
Each should get a trial period.
All three.
9887717
Oh trust me... with Arca, literally anything is possible
9887745
Anything except for 2 things: catching The Duck and making a working mane growth potion.
Honestly I think Arca cares too much about the town to actually permanently damage it even when consumed by blind rage.
I'm reminded of a scrapped chapter during the season 8 finale where everypony is rapidly losing magic and Arca not only doesnt notice or care, but stays at full power because of course he does
9887745
Exactly.
<facepalm> Honestly, none of them! All three have conflicts of interest! Celestia and Luna are princesses that can circumvent laws and rules, rules that are in place for a very good reason. With Razzle, it's a harassment lawsuit in the making, probably filed by Arca!
9887718
This... This seems like the sanest approach. Trial period first! Give them a chance to prove their chops!
9887759
Fair point.
Hmm... part of me wonders if he should hire Mage Meadowbrook as his supplier for potion ingredients. Of course, that would be weird considering their relationship.
9887775
"Hey mom can I borrow that really rare ingredient?"
"For what?"
"Uh... stuff."
9887777
My thoughts exactly
9887696
I did say pony though that is a bit speciest.
Nickel Ingot obviously
Hire all three none of them will be there full time so they can work out a schedule for whi works on what days.
Zecora.
Why do I see a spin-off or bonus chapter coming with Arca, Celestia, Luna and Razzle causing all sorts of mayhem (or trying to guide it away from populated areas, looking at you Celestia) together as they try to run a potion shop/trying to catch The Duck/try to make Arca go on a date or who knows what else.
There are not enough floofs in town to properly describe just how doomed everypony truly is should this come to pass.
He Hires Juniper and Himself Twice, Obviously.
9887912
That's twice as many employees.
Razzle because she's willing to put with ALL of his nonsense with no complaints. Unless the complaint is not enough kissing....some complaints.
I’m with the others here, all three should enjoy some Arcananigans
HIRE ALL OF THEM! ALL OF THEM!!!!
Arca should hire cheese sandwich when he walks in looking for a potion to cure boneless's illness
Surprise twist none of them get hired and the duck gets hired as a plot to capture him
I'd like to see him accidentally hire the duck
I just would like to point out that we have barely avoided having TWO Arcas in one place at the same time. I don't care how big a disaster budget this town has, it'd be wiped clean off the map.
Yes.
What about our favorite prankster that is still at castle?
(looks at his competition for the job and back to his resume) why do I have the felling that this not this dog's day for a good job that pays well?
I don’t know, so yes?
all of them, why is it even an option to pick one
You all know it, but it’s obligatory.
Why not all of them?
All three and I didn't think the timeline was at Season 9 yet.....
Razzle. Seriously the girl needs to get laid. With Arca. And possibly Rick who is hiding in the attic. But the sisters? No, they wouldnt work well for very long under Arca. How can Arca be the boss if he has two Princess-Bosses working under him?
Ideally Luna, but my real vote is Literally Anyone But Razzle
Hire all three and let chaos consume Rainbow Falls
Oh and I just realized that when Razzle calls Arca "Arcie-Warkie" she reminds me of Veronica from
Emerald Essence as part of her community service. please let this happen
What Twilight actually manged to get all the paperwork DONE.. I call foul we are talking a government bureaucracy the paperwork multiplies faster than rabbits
I think the three ponies could rotate as part-time workers. Celestia can keep Juniper calm and help relieve her stress. Razzle's experience can cover days when one of the others are not well, or if she wants a date. Luna can learn to love explosions and act as a parol officer to a potential tester for Arca's potions... oh... I can't remember her name... She hasn't bought anything from Arca... I think she used black magic on him once...