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The Psychopath

Joined March 2012
560 followers

Stories (52)


Correction completed.

This is getting annoying, so I must write this. I've never read "My little Dashie". I don't know what it's about, aside from people going emo over it. You don't have to believe me, but it's the truth. I have a distinguished hatred for unoriginality, which is why I like to experiment and make weird things.

Mathews Fore is a simple man. He has a decent job with decent pay. A rather nice little house at the end of the road. A "dead-end" if you will. The only problem? He hates lack of security, although everyone in his neighborhood has a tendency to watch the actions of eachother, so no theft has gone unpunished...by them. Due to his fears of security, he erected a very tall fence around his house that he further covered with a green cover, so nobody can see through it. His yard is pretty huge in itself.

However, he starts to feel lonely. He doesn't want a woman, nor is he gay, so he doesn't want a man. He just wants something to hug. He doesn't want a pet, but he doesn't want to adopt a kid either. He just wants something adorable to hug and kiss on the forehead. Something intelligent. But what? One night, there was the announcement of a meteor shower, so Mathews decides to take his chances and wish upon a star, just like in his childhood stories.

He gets what he wants, but is it really worth it?

First Published
2nd Aug 2012
Last Modified
6th Sep 2012

Comments ( 760 )

#1 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

*reads discription*

...

...

...

Wut?

#2 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

Nightmare moon eh?

Already wanting to favourite this story!

#3 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

Alright, just read it. I'm just going to say that I love you for doing this!

There is not enough Nightmare Moon love in this fandom.

#4 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

That picture is fukken adorable

#5 · Chapter 1 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

Meh, I'll give it a look through.

#6 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

So far, it's not great but it's not horrible either.

It's just sort of... huh.

Also:

"SHOWER HEAD OF DOOOOOM!"

Nice. :rainbowlaugh:

#7 · Chapter 1 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

Hmm, I can see potential in this story, but will it succeed?:applejackunsure:

#8 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

im not sure what to think of this, tracked though.

NMM <3

#9 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

Not bad :moustache:

#10 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

I'll follow this one, but so far.

#11 · Chapter 1 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

The.. Freaking... Song. wen make me laf my ass off:rainbowlaugh:

Then Supah mare luna. WTF need for get mor emoticons

#12 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

lawlawllawllawl this story is great

#13 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

DAAAAAAW. Adorable pic and great story. :raritystarry:

#14 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

Eh. I'll keep an eye on this one.

#15 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

That story picture! HNNNNNG

#16 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

Alright, I'm interested to know where this will go.  Which is a compliment from me, as the only PoE, Pony on Earth stories I've liked were 'My Little Dashie', and something that had to do with Twilight and guns.

So yeah, I hope he eventually meets Luna, or at LEAST Celestia.  I REALLY want to see their reactions.  :twilightsmile:

#17 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

I like the sound of it, but I'll read it when It's finished. I like the sound of it. It seems like My Little Dashie with Nightmare. Very Interesting.

#18 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

i can tell that this story will have extreme problems, just because its similar to My Little Dashie, but im likeing how it is going so far, so i will favorite it :twilightsmile:

#19 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

Seems like it needs an editor, or just looking through it again to correct errors, but otherwise not a bad start. The grammer isn't horrible and the story is okay so far. Let's see where this goes.

#20 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

Hopefully she'll regain her memories and the power of speech next chapter.

#21 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

Ill track it.Don't make me regret it *random derpy :derpytongue2: *

#22 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

Read a story about raising a filly Nightmare Moon?

Challenge accepted...

#23 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

I'll give it a try, cause it sounds funny and I love NMM, but if this turns out to just be a self-insert so you can get off to raising the queen, I may have to murder you.

#24 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

MOAR!!!!!!:flutterrage:

Like the story:D:pinkiehappy:

#26 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

Hmmm... Great story so far, other than spelling errors, I LOVE THIS STORY!:rainbowkiss: No one has ever written a PoE with Nightmare Moon before, so you sir/mam have my full support! :):yay::yay::yay::yay::twilightsmile::raritywink::scootangel::pinkiehappy::coolphoto:

#27 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

I like it so far!

#28 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

I want a Nightmare Moon to snuggle

#29 · Chapter 1 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

aI like this, fave, thumb and watch!

#31 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

Has potential but now that it is 12:30am, I'm gonna go outside and have a fire... ya know, since I don't have a cuddly little NMM.:fluttercry:

#32 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1020892 The thing is...I've never read My little Dashie. I've heard that people went "D'awwww" over it then committed suicide when they read the last chapter. Why?

>>1021105A self Insert? Sir. You have insulted me. I challenge you to a duelle.:coolphoto::pinkiecrazy: No, but really. I NEVER do self-inserts. It's written why on my profile.(normally)

#33 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

That cover picture is adorable.  Filly Nightmare Moon...This is going to be good.

#34 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1021502 There is no really way i can describe it to you that will make you get it, you will just have to read the story yourself. It is incredibly sad, and i have met nopony that has ever not cried after reading it.

#36 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1021541 Oho! A challenge! We Shall see, if you can handle it. But remember! don't lie! Even if you only tear up a bit you have to tell us!

   :rainbowlaugh: <---imagine that as a evil RD laugh

#37 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1021614 You know, there's a reason why I adopted the look and name of one of my characters.:pinkiecrazy:

#38 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1021533 i had feels, but i didn't cry

#39 · Chapter 1 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1021164 I'd never thought of it like that before :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

#40 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

So. Much. Awesome. :pinkiegasp::yay:

#41 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1021628 Well we all react differently to what happens to us, though i have to say You must have a heart of stone

>>1021617 Or you sure you have become it? Or has it become you? I'd continue this comment but i really don't feel like getting into a debate on the topic :twilightsmile:

#42 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1021723 The Illogic isn't meant to be understood by those who retain their sanity.:pinkiecrazy:

#43 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

Ho brah we mek um to da box:rainbowdetermined2:

#45 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

Ok. So, I read the story, and I'll admit that it has potential, but the way it's being attempted is sub-par at best. It's riddled with grammatical/spelling errors and the whole attempted experience is bland. I finally understand what people say about show vs. tell her, too. At least, I think I do. There's so many spots in the story where you just go about and describe the scenery. The wall is white and tall, so on and so forth (not an actual example, but if ya dunno what I mean, I'll elaborate more with true quotes). It could definitely use some more 'view through the eyes of Matt'.

The dialogue could use a bit more sprucing up too and the whole bit "She said nothing and started to look very drowzy. Being a baby, it was normal, although she did seem a bit more mature than a baby should be. Yet, she never spoke, atleast, not for the half-hour that Mathews had her." doesn't seem plausible. As far as he knows, horses can't talk and NMM is more akin to a horse than a human. Sure, it's made some noise and such, but all animals make noise. The whole assumption by him that she can talk, but just isn't is too far-fetched.

Long story, short: Find an editor/proofreader or two to help with the telling of the story. There are a couple proofreader groups out there that have people that'd be likely to assist you. Elaborate on your story-telling and refrain from just saying what the place looks like, Use descriptive narration to flesh out your backdrop. Avoid stuff like this: "About time too. It was twelve thirty a.m." That's author-story interaction and that's bad. The character wouldn't think that as he is asleep. (also try to say something like this to describe the time: Fore glanced towards the clock and groaned. Twelve thirty? I can't believe I'm still up this late.

Other than that, good luck. It has promise and could go far if you put the effort into it.

#46 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

seems legit. Will definitely follow seeing as though everything "Crescent" has done so far is fucking adorable. damn!

#47 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1021752 What was meant to be, never was and insanity spread into infinity.

#48 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · 1 · ·
#49 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

im not sure what i feel about this........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ya know what i'm keep an eye on this

#50 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

I did not know this was written by you, ergh, I kept seeing it go by.... but I didn't pay attention!

Now this, shall be read as well!

Read all the things!

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