Mathews calmly walked towards the bathroom and closed the door behind him. The walls were ornate with yellow tiles while the white floor was covered with white ones, and some small, blue carpets. The little black bundle kept crying. It made the man wonder if the thing felt separated from something, but he mentally slapped himself after thinking that.
"It's a baby. O' course it feels separated from something. A-durrrrRRRR."
While still holding the airplane engine, Mathews twisted the knobs of his white bathtub to let the water flow through. He had to adjust the temperature, and some burning was followed as he tried to perfect everything. Finally, he unwrapped the little bundle and held it in his hands. It was small and soft, but it had several specks that were red and crusty on its fur. Those were the burnt marks, but Mathews wondered how it was that it only had traces at those particular spots when it literally flew in as a ball of fire and smashed into his yard.
"Hm. You're so tiny and adorable. Are you a boy or a girl?"
He lift the little thing up to check, and as he figured it out, he was met with an angry bop on the head. Of course, the thing was too tiny to actually hurt him, but he saw that the little equidae had a trembling, puckered lower lip and an angry look on its face, although the tears trickling down it's puffed up, pinkish cheeks made it more of an adorable face with big, watery eyes than anything else.
"Heh. I already saw, but being so modest at such a young age are the signs of a true lady."
The little thing gave out a tiny gasp that seemed more like a squeak, but Mathews didn't pay attention to it, and dropped her in the very shallow water. The tub was high enough to keep her from jumping out, and the water was shallow enough to only let her ankles get wet. She seemed to look at it in semi-disgust, semi-intrigue.
"Now let's see. I should have some light shampoo and soap here...need to mix it in with water to keep your wittle baby skin from getting irritated. Hmhmhm...here we go...BUBBLE BATH! MAKE ALLLLLL THE BUBBLES!" Mathews yelled as he held a bottle of soap in his arm high in the air, then opened the cap and let a wee bit of the soap splash into the water, before he put his hands in and spun them around to create bubbles everywhere.
The little equidae looked at the foam and lift her foreleg up to observe at the substance on it. She tried to sniff it, but it itched her nose, causing her to make an adorable, high-pitched sneeze, making her fell on her rear and look dazed for a moment. Mathews thought his heart was about to melt as his eyes demonstrated an immensity of the 'piou' syndrome.
"Awww. Wittle thing sneezed. How cute."
The little foal looked up at the giant in embarrassment and anger.
"No point in looking at me like that. Time to wash you up."
Mathews hands crept closer to the foal, but, from her angle, they were freakin' huge hands! She started to panic and began to splosh around clumsily in the tub while trying to escape the clutches of the giant, making the water splash about uncontrollably all over the place.
"Noooo! Get back here. DR! Stop doing-GAH! SOAP IN MY EYES! AHHH!" Mathews yelled as he stood up and fell backwards, narrowly avoiding the sink. "Ngh. You'll pay for this."
The foal looked pleased at what she did and closed her eyes so she could look smug for a moment. Grave mistake. She was caught by Fore, who held her down by the back with one hand.
"Muahaha! I have caught you. You shall now have to undergo a soapy doom."
The foal's eyes widened in horror as she stared at him holding a cloth dipped in the soapy water to clean her. She kept squeaking and struggling as the man washed her, turning the white water into a brown swamp.
"Wow. You're really dirty."
The little thing started to make cute coughs and weird sounds as she was washed and wiped all over. Eventually, her horn glowed slightly, but Mathews didn't notice. He was tugged into the bathtub. Luckily, the water wasn't too high, but he was still slightly wet.
"Haha. Very fu-What? Weird little starry things that serve as your hair and tail? How the he...How in the world did I not notice that before? Maybe I should see an optometrist. Hm. I'm not done washing you. Hah! Under the little legs. Behind the ears. Under your wings. Now on your-Wings?"
Indeed. This little foal not only had weird "hair" and turquoise, reptilian eyes, but she also had a horn AND wings. Mathews was stumped.
"The fu...No matter. Now that you're all nice and soapy, it's time to wash you out...WITH THE SHOWER HEAD OF DOOOOOM!"
The foal seemed to show her agony by gesturing towards the sky and letting out a silent no as she was drowned in the water of DOOOOOOOOOM. There were no survivors. Eventually, she was plucked out and dried with a fresh towel, in which she was kept. She was placed on a table in the living room while Mathews went to a cupboard to fetch some ointment and a cloth with special band-aids that wouldn't tear her coat off. He had a good view of that strange being staring at him in suspicion from across the few steps of distance. She didn't move from her blanket fort the entire time.
Mathews soon came back with a pack of the necessary treatment and placed it on the table. He quickly grabbed the foal and spread the towel out while he applied the ointment to the burns. She grunted quite alot, but, in the end, the little foal just kept her head on the towel and stared into the distance. Mathews was disturbed and worried at the same time.
"There we go. Just like new."
The foal smirked and the band-aids turned from their vanilla color to the same tone of black as the equidae's coat.
"Fancy. You must be starving. Maybe I should get you something to eat. Hm?"
She said nothing and started to look very drowsy. Being a baby, it was normal, although she did seem a bit more mature than a baby should be. Yet, she never spoke, at least, not for the half-hour that Mathews had her. Trust would have to be forged between them, but how? Fore wrapped her back around the towel and his heart almost toppled as he saw her yawn.
"Damn you and your adorableness. You cause my heart to skip several beats. At least you aren't human. You wouldn't be adorable at all. Yeck. Ugly little constipated looking things. Humans are not cute, YOU'RE cute." he thought to himself as he remembered something else."Hmmm...If you're going to stay with me, you'll need a name. Hmmm..."
The man noticed, as he unwrapped the filly once again, that, on her flanks, were weird patches of purple. "You have weird purple patches, you're black, and that weird metal that hit me on the head has the moon etched on it. How about I call you Crescent? The moon on that chest plate thing is a crescent moon."
The little filly gave out another adorable yawn and smacked her lips.
"You're right. I'm also tired. Time for bed. You'll sleep with me, Crescent." he smiled as he held the little thing in his two hands.
Mathews held the filly close to his chest as he activated the code for his house's security system and lowered the blinds for every door and window. He eventually returned to his bedroom and slowly closed the door behind him. The filly was sound asleep, so he gently lowered her onto his bed and changed into his sleeping clothes. Fore unwrapped the present, threw the towel into the basket, and placed the filly next to him under his bed sheets, slowly letting them fall upon the tiny, black fur ball. She soon rolled into a ball next to the man, and he wanted to hug her tightly. No. He couldn't. Instead, he just turned off the light and dozed off with his hand around the black ball of fuzz. He'd have to work hard and learn more about this thing that was so similar to horses but fairy tails and mythology as well. Several thoughts on what Crescent could be flowed through his mind as, he too, fell asleep. About time too. It was twelve thirty a.m., as he saw before his long awaited slumber.
*reads discription*
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...
...
Wut?
Nightmare moon eh?
Already wanting to favourite this story!
Alright, just read it. I'm just going to say that I love you for doing this!
There is not enough Nightmare Moon love in this fandom.
That picture is fukken adorable
So far, it's not great but it's not horrible either.
It's just sort of... huh.
Also:
"SHOWER HEAD OF DOOOOOM!"
Nice.
im not sure what to think of this, tracked though.
NMM <3
Not bad
lawlawllawllawl this story is great
DAAAAAAW. Adorable pic and great story.
Eh. I'll keep an eye on this one.
That story picture! HNNNNNG
Alright, I'm interested to know where this will go. Which is a compliment from me, as the only PoE, Pony on Earth stories I've liked were 'My Little Dashie', and something that had to do with Twilight and guns.
So yeah, I hope he eventually meets Luna, or at LEAST Celestia. I REALLY want to see their reactions.
I like the sound of it, but I'll read it when It's finished. I like the sound of it. It seems like My Little Dashie with Nightmare. Very Interesting.
i can tell that this story will have extreme problems, just because its similar to My Little Dashie, but im likeing how it is going so far, so i will favorite it
Seems like it needs an editor, or just looking through it again to correct errors, but otherwise not a bad start. The grammer isn't horrible and the story is okay so far. Let's see where this goes.
Hopefully she'll regain her memories and the power of speech next chapter.
Ill track it.Don't make me regret it *random derpy *
Read a story about raising a filly Nightmare Moon?
alannafreestyle.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/barney_stinson1.jpg
Challenge accepted...
I'll give it a try, cause it sounds funny and I love NMM, but if this turns out to just be a self-insert so you can get off to raising the queen, I may have to murder you.
MOAR!!!!!!
Like the story:D
I like it so far!
I want a Nightmare Moon to snuggle
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Has potential but now that it is 12:30am, I'm gonna go outside and have a fire... ya know, since I don't have a cuddly little NMM.
1020892 The thing is...I've never read My little Dashie. I've heard that people went "D'awwww" over it then committed suicide when they read the last chapter. Why?
1021105A self Insert? Sir. You have insulted me. I challenge you to a duelle. No, but really. I NEVER do self-inserts. It's written why on my profile.(normally)
That cover picture is adorable. Filly Nightmare Moon...This is going to be good.
1021502 There is no really way i can describe it to you that will make you get it, you will just have to read the story yourself. It is incredibly sad, and i have met nopony that has ever not cried after reading it.
1021533 Really?
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1021541 Oho! A challenge! We Shall see, if you can handle it. But remember! don't lie! Even if you only tear up a bit you have to tell us!
<---imagine that as a evil RD laugh
1021614 You know, there's a reason why I adopted the look and name of one of my characters.
So. Much. Awesome.
1021628 Well we all react differently to what happens to us, though i have to say You must have a heart of stone
1021617 Or you sure you have become it? Or has it become you? I'd continue this comment but i really don't feel like getting into a debate on the topic
1021723 The Illogic isn't meant to be understood by those who retain their sanity.
Ho brah we mek um to da box
1021533
You Just haven't looked hard enough.
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Ok. So, I read the story, and I'll admit that it has potential, but the way it's being attempted is sub-par at best. It's riddled with grammatical/spelling errors and the whole attempted experience is bland. I finally understand what people say about show vs. tell her, too. At least, I think I do. There's so many spots in the story where you just go about and describe the scenery. The wall is white and tall, so on and so forth (not an actual example, but if ya dunno what I mean, I'll elaborate more with true quotes). It could definitely use some more 'view through the eyes of Matt'.
The dialogue could use a bit more sprucing up too and the whole bit "She said nothing and started to look very drowzy. Being a baby, it was normal, although she did seem a bit more mature than a baby should be. Yet, she never spoke, atleast, not for the half-hour that Mathews had her." doesn't seem plausible. As far as he knows, horses can't talk and NMM is more akin to a horse than a human. Sure, it's made some noise and such, but all animals make noise. The whole assumption by him that she can talk, but just isn't is too far-fetched.
Long story, short: Find an editor/proofreader or two to help with the telling of the story. There are a couple proofreader groups out there that have people that'd be likely to assist you. Elaborate on your story-telling and refrain from just saying what the place looks like, Use descriptive narration to flesh out your backdrop. Avoid stuff like this: "About time too. It was twelve thirty a.m." That's author-story interaction and that's bad. The character wouldn't think that as he is asleep. (also try to say something like this to describe the time: Fore glanced towards the clock and groaned. Twelve thirty? I can't believe I'm still up this late.
Other than that, good luck. It has promise and could go far if you put the effort into it.
seems legit. Will definitely follow seeing as though everything "Crescent" has done so far is fucking adorable. damn!
1021752 What was meant to be, never was and insanity spread into infinity.
My reaction the the description:
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im not sure what i feel about this........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ya know what i'm keep an eye on this
I did not know this was written by you, ergh, I kept seeing it go by.... but I didn't pay attention!
Now this, shall be read as well!
Read all the things!
1021868 It was clear that she understood what he was saying, plus? MAGIC BEYACH! AIN'T GOTTA EXPLAIN SHIT!! No seriously, when a tiny winged horned equine FALLS FROM THE SKY in a meteor shower any assumption is justifiable.
Gah! haters gunna hate! Keep up the adorableness pls! oh and updates too!
1022209 But it isn't because that isn't good storytelling. There should never be blatant assumptions like that. He doesn't know that she can use magic. He's experienced it once and even then he hadn't really noticed it. And, just because she understood what he was saying, doesn't mean squat. Lots of animals understand stuff like that.
And the whole magic thing not needing an explanation? Worst. Excuse. Ever.
1022228 The stick in your ass, pull it out. Nobrony uses "MAGIC BEYACH! AIN'T GOTTA EXPLAIN SHIT!" seriously. Animals that understand speech still have to BE TRAINED!! A baby animal will not understand "SHOWER HEAD OF DOOOOOM!" and know to pantomime the ~hands to the heavens 'nooooooooo'~. You can't call bad writing on that until he tries saying NMM has no memory or knowledge beyond what an infant should given that the aforementioned behavior is indicative of mature mental faculty.
Good Day, sir!
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1022297 You don't need to even understand the words. Tone says a lot. I could say "I'm going to kill you" with a serious expression and a dark tone and most people would immediately fear me (or, if you wanna talk animals, if you raise your voice to an intelligent creature as NMM obviously is, then she'll know that you mean business) or I could say the same thing jovially and it'd come off entirely different. Tone matters when dealing with animals. You could even apply such thinking to foreigners. If you are talking to somebody that doesn't understand any English, they'd react entirely based off of your tone and body language.
You'd be surprised by what people use seriously. If you assume (which, as I said before, is a bad thing) that nobody uses such phrases seriously, you'd just be making an ass of yourself.
this got a favourite at shower head of doooom. i think thats my new favourite line in any fanfic ever.
1021868 Came from outer-space. Possibility of speaking plausible.
So fucking adorable.
You know actually I had a plan on doing something like this with Nightmare using my little dashie as a base.............. and also i.neoseeker.com/mgv/574321-Liege/321/99/megusta_display.png