A leaner of SFM who writes ocassionally
Page generated in 0.098 seconds
Total duration
1,015 users online
1,264,015 hits today, 2,439,861 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I'm going to track this, purely because I am curious how a full-demon, yet still in control, Sunset will handle Anon-a-miss.
9045200
I spent more time on Twilight's reaction than Sunset's.
I want to qualify this story as a crackfic type of story, but it takes itself too serious to be called one.
Case in point: Normally my suspension of disbelief would not allow me to just let Princess Twilight completely trouncing the Rainbooms in a fist fight without comment, but the absurd brutality of it allowed me to give it a free pass as if it was a crackfic situation. Then you manage to explain how she did it in a way that sort of makes sense for the story.
9045974
Tahanks I did have to explain in some way. Obviously aginst pony AJ Rainbow and Pinkie she would be trounced but against humans whose powers don't enhance their physical abilities she has an advantage
Very OOC and violent, but that is Anon-A-Miss in a nutshell.
9046018
Well It was more Twilight losing her temper, Twilight isn't always mentally stable when under stress as in Lesson Zero.
9046024
You mean "unstable"
I did not enjoy this story at all. It's way too fast, and the way Twilight reacted, i think you only wrote that for Drama's sake.
It's beyond stupid, and...UUGGHHH.
then changing Apple Bloom and all this other stuff selling her body for sex. It's a badly written fanfic, throwing out stuff like that.
What else, Oh Sunset mentions she was a assassin, or a alien that took the form of a pony and then a eathlen? I mean what the hell does Sunset selling her body has to do with this story or forgiving anyone.....
it's too fast, too sudden, too little detail to stupid.
Thumbs down.
9046051
I must admit it is a bit rushed but I will explain the demon part in an interlude
9046066
Don't care i'm done.
the first one was ok but this is a mess, nothing but a bad mess.
9046135
Fine not everyone has to like it. I write because I enjoy writing and if people like it well that's good if they don't well it's not my issue.
When sunset was questioning the cmc I pictured her sitting in a fancy leather chair, feet kicked up on a desk with this face
The story does feel a bit rushed but, I enjoy reading it.
9046187
Thanks and yes it is a bit rushed but I will explain the demon thing in the following Interlude.
9046024
Yes.
thank God you dont around the bush with sunset shimmner and twilight crossing the portal.
good job 10/10 did good..
9046202
LOVE’IN IT!!!!!!! Please update soon!!!!!!
nice work.
9048743
Thanks
Holy hell mama Gazelle
9092227
Okay what annoyed you the most the premise or my writing? Be honest but polite.
9092488
I guess it has to go to your style of writing here. I will admit, any other story I've read by you was Darker Harmony and that story had the same flaws with the way it's written. As previously mentioned, it's incredibly fast paced, so no scenes were really fleshed out due to how fast it moved on.
It's especially a problem with the character dialogue. Again, it's over in an instant and sometimes I'm not sure if what the characters say even makes sense. Probably the best piece of spoken dialogue was this, from chapter three:
Yes! She is absolutely right. But then the story suffers with lines such as:
The problem I have with this is that it is so sudden. I mean, yes, we already knew it was the CMCs, but building up at least a little bit of tension would've made this part better.
All in all, writing that's as fast paced as this makes it look as though the whole story was completely rushed and wasn't properly looked over, something I think all authors on this site must make sure to do. I'll admit, I did think I would get at least some enjoyment out of this and would be a step up from the first one, but unfortunately (Apart from that one point Sunset made) I just didn't and it wasn't. I'm sorry and I do hope for you the best.
9092548
Fair enough I do sometimes rush through some things but I'm not sure how to add something to it that would fix the problem.
Pitiful.
9125476
Elaborate?
¿...?
9157295
What does that mean?
I've trying to track this down for a while.
9204707
Thank you for that
9205859
No probs.
9157372
I think red-sun is confused kind of like I am.
9440215
9157295
Okay then basically the spirits of the Elements of Harmony are the six ponies in the Hearthswarming Play.
9546061
Thank you
9546061
Oh...........
9546389
9546511
I'm so sorry it took so long to get back to you.
9547855
Eh no problem.
Are you planning to bring Sci-Twi into this?
By which I mean, “Friendship Games when?”
it would've been better if pinkie pie (Pony one) to be in twilight's back<333