In the dead of night, a thief breaks into the royal palace in Canterlot to steal Celestia's crown. She successfully sneaks through the palace and enters the room where this prize possession is kept, with not a soul the wiser.
Well, save for a certain Princess.
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This needs to be continued. Also, it was somewhat sad.
8713362
Thank you! I didn't think it was quite sad enough to warrant a tag, should I add it?
8713389
Eh, I’d say it’s on the edge. Any thoughts on a sequel/second chapter?
8713405
I intended the story to end here, so it isn't likely :(
8713422
Awwww. She has potential.
Well if the author doesn't do the sequal (and this absolutely demands a sequal), then someone needs too. There's too much potential.
Love the story as is.
Great fanfic! I like to see Twilight written as a wise princess.
This is indeed just begging to be continued... perhaps as a series of stories.
I think somepony needs to be recruited into the Equestrian Intelligence Service...
8713941
I know, right?
maybe cerise could become a tax collector
anyway, i enjoyed this peek at what twilight might grow to be like!
Real quick, before I start reading, this reminds me of one really old fic. Some thief was gonna steal from Celestia, but she catches him by accident and he turns himself in. Reminds me a lot of the summary here.
Anyways, now to start.
8714393 I remembered that too - but if we're thinking of the same story, this one's much better.
8714416
Really? Hot damn, that's as good praise as you could hope for for a story like this. Again, if we're thinking of the same story lol.
8714393
8714416
Thank you guys so much! If you do ever find that fic you're talking about, let me know, I'd like to read it!
8714416
8714430
Found it
Took me a while because, for some reason, it's not tagged as a comedy. Is this the story you were thinking of Eru?
8714499
Heh. I knew exactly which one you were talking about, have it in my favorites, and was going to link it but you beat me to it.
Cerise definately needs to reference Blank Slate.
8714430
I'm actually going to vote against a sequel. Unless it is a whole new story, there isnt much left to say. An epilogue would be nice, though since were left hanging regarding Cerise. If you do write another, make the epilogue a sequel hook, otherwise some straight closure.
Just my two bits. Im no writer.
Sounds like our Thief would make a great Spymaster.
I’m always here for Agressively Friendly Princess Twilight Sparkle. Nice atmosphere, nice characterization, well executed.
8717249
Thank you so much! I don't plan anything immediate, but everyone seems to like Cerise a lot so I may return to her sometime :)
8713806
Indeed. It's such a shame that she was only ever allowed to wear that persona in Rainbow Falls.
Uh... it's not a title that Celestia would have... she is not a "regent" as she is the legitimate sovereign and usually the modifier "Crown" as in Crown Prince is usually used to designate the heir apparent to a position... so this title would mean something like "The person that is in line to become the substitute of the legitimate sovereign"
greaves
exited
8724824
Thanks, I'll make the changes right away!
Full review here, but in brief: mixed feelings. The Thief: The Dark Project vibe I get at times with Cerise is interesting and that cutie mark point is thought-provoking. On the downside, it lacks a little sparkle and it needs proofreading. (Or did, anyway. I wrote the review before the changes Bahamuttone mentioned.)
8735081
Thanks so much for reviewing! I haven't played any of the Thief series, but it's been on my list for a while. I'll keep everything you said in mind for future stories!
Wait, was there implied Twilestia at the end :3 ?
That's really awkward. Perhaps: "At the edge of her gaze a pair of magenta eyes caught her attention."?
I think it would sound better to say: ""I was just thinking out loud," she answered.
Sounds a bit less like she's has Multiple Personality Disorder.
8813062
I took the suggestion and altered it a little, thanks! I think I'll keep the end line, but I'll see how it goes :)
Man, there's been a mini-resurgence in popularity with this story! I MAJORLY revamped it a while back, and I am beyond glad to see how many people enjoy this story: I'm very proud of it!
I really liked this story. Too bad that we will never find out what other careers a cutie mark like that can be for.
I remember reading a similar story like this, but the thief directly talked to Celestia as some reform program. I can't remember for the life of me what it was called, does anyone else remember that story? It was kind of popular.
8901841
I think I remember that one. If I remember correctly the reason the thief got found out was a spell Celestia always had running allowing her to know the name of every pony around her. She unknowingly prevented the robbery and the whole story was the thief tell the cops as he had turned himself in out of fear. Now I cannot remember it myself and it is in none of my private libraries either and now I want to reread it.
8901881
8901841
A few people talked about it earlier in the comment section, and it's name was "Little Deceptions"! I had not read it prior to writing this, but I DID after people suggested it to me and it really is great!
8902766
Read that one, I'm talking even earlier. I remember that it was a kid thief who got set up by his old mentor, who was a thief who turned good. It was more of an emotional story. I remember it was written around 2013-2014 ish
8903032
I haven't heard of that one! If you find it, let me know: I'd love to read it!
I'm not kidding when I say that, years ago, I had almost this exact same idea, but it was a romance plot with Princess Luna. But I didn't think I could do it justice, so I didn't bother. It's good to see someone has.
Random.
I read this a while back and thought you wrote Twilight wonderfully well'
Congratulations on the feature on EQD.
9190768
Thank you so much! Twilight is my favorite of the main cast, so I always try to do her justice.
There should be a sequel where Cerise is dating Twilight while working as Twilight's personal Guard she takes when she travels.
9191542
Slow down Casanova. That is a huge leap to make in only one story. There needs to be at least one before that to even make it seem workable.
Be fun if Twilight later ran into Cerise in the castle acting as a security consultant.
Nice story. A continuation might be nice, but personally I would've preferred a bit different ending to better set up such a future chapter or sequel.
9193280
Going back on my previous words, I think I definitely want to return to Cerise more in depth, as people really seem to like her, so there will certainly be a sequel somewhere in the future. I'd have to decide if it were to be in another one-shot or chapter format, and I really want to do it right because this is one of my very favorite stories and I want to be absolutely sure that whatever continuation or sequel this will have will be both worth it and do justice to the original.
Thanks so much for reading!
9193526
Cool. As to the change I would've made, i'd've had Twilight talk Cerise into letting her introduce her to Luna. Luna in turn would offer her a position on her staff after hearing of her crime as Twilight leaves, running into Celestia on her way back to bed.
8903032
8903248
Is it this one? Unfortunately it hasn’t been updated in years.
- MLP: FiM
- Slice of Life
A young thief gets arrested and brought before Celestia, where he is then interrogated in a rather peculiar way.9194646
Yes it is! Thank you so much!
Nice to see Twilight get some of that regal dignity and wisdom, though her message is a bit mixed. "It really sucks that you're stuck with a theft cutie mark, but you're not stuck with it." Yes, it's more nuanced than that, but it's still a pretty hard turn in her dialogue.
Still, the tension's well-paced and the interaction's well done. I do wonder what will become of Cerise, though. And what the Crown of MacGuffin actually does.
9208624
Thank you for the feedback! I've actually been writing a piece for your contest for a few days now, so it's really cool to see you found your way to this story!
I like to think that Twilight is acknowledging the bind that destiny holds--thus she is "stuck with it"--but conceeding its fickleness by explaining that she can use her talents for good. I am very proud of this story, but Iikely could have driven that point across better. Regardlesa, perhaps you all will get to see where that takes her sometime in the future
You should be proud of this one. It’s quite good.