Applejack's funeral

Applejack has died. Everypony is there at the funeral, but the most affected one there is her devastated little sister, Apple Bloom. But, could there be more to this tragic moment than meets the eye?

Something silly I wrote, based on a prompt from Rated Ponystar Beware: OOC-ness abound.

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Comments ( 10 )

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megabyte97

megabyte97 #1 · Apr 4th, 2017 · 1 · ·

This takes a very twisted sense of humor to appreciate, and I'm not sure how to feel about it. On one hand, your premise along with the tags got me to read the story... on the other, this story is based entirely on the twisted humor I stated before to deliver a punchline that isn't really all that good to begin with... Soooo... Good bait, bad punchline.

4/10 in my professional, non-biased, purely factual driven opinion, that EVERYONE and their dogs should take to heart with the upmost seriousness that they could ever muster.

deadpansnarker

deadpansnarker #2 · Apr 4th, 2017 · 1 · ·

...My cat, on the other paw, LOVES it, and gives it ten bowls of Whiskas out of ten.

doomie-22

doomie-22 #3 · Apr 4th, 2017 · · ·

“She was so young. It should have been me…” Wailed Granny Smith, as she placed the last of her flowers on the coffin of her beloved Applejack.
“Yup.” Big Mac remarked, in his usual articulate way.

Wow! Who knew Big Mac was such an asshole?

“Why did she have to try to repair the roof in the middle of a thunderstorm?

Oh, come on, Applejack may be a country gal, but even she's not that stupid.

Why did she have to fall off that ladder? Why did she have to land on that rake that pierced her brain? Why…”

What!? How the hell do you manage to pierce your skull open by falling on a rake after falling off a ladder while repairing a roof during a thunderstorm? This sounds like something straight out of Final Destination.

“Basically, all I had to do was fake my death in an ‘accident’ while you were using the facilities, inform the life insurance ponies about it and then lay low for a week until the financial settlement was paid…” Applejack continued her story. “Everypony else agreed to help on the scam, even the rest of our family and your elementary chums. Miss Cheerilee took the most convincing, but Big Mac managed to sweet talk her into it…”

“We needed you looking all upset and devastated today, for when the inspector came to attend the funeral. Nothing would sway him into believing us more than the salty tears of my next of kin... ” Applejack remarked, with a sad smile. “I know we’ve caused you no end of heartbreaking trauma in the last seven days that you’ll in all likelihood never recover from, and you most probably hate our guts right now. But frankly, we thought the trade-off between your mental stability and keeping the old homestead was worth it, in the end..."

You know, this reminds me of the Tarnished Silver series by HamGravy, where characters are portrayed as being so despicable and evil that you can't help but hate them. If I were Apple Bloom, I'd tell my family and friends to go screw themselves, pack my bags, and leave town after this whole incident.

But, I have to admit, I know this is supposed to be all sad and stuff, but I couldn't help but laugh at this.

Blast

Blast #4 · Apr 4th, 2017 · · ·

Apple Bloom was... pissed.

howard035

howard035 #5 · Apr 5th, 2017 · 1 · ·

I like this story. I would love a sequel where the insurance inspector wanders back by the farm. Maybe now that Applejack is dead, her identical cousin Landslide has taken her place?

Darth Wedgius

Darth Wedgius #6 · Apr 7th, 2017 · · ·

Minor goof:

"“I-I k-know t-that, b-but…” Applejack glanced back at her Granny, her amber eyes glinting in the serene light of Celestia’s sun. “I-It’s jus’ so hard to s-say g-goodbye…”"

A bit early for AJ's miraculous recovery. :)

deadpansnarker