• Member Since 10th Feb, 2013
  • offline last seen January 6th

TheSnarkKnight30


T

After earning the friendship of The Cutie Mark Crusaders, Diamond Tiara comes home to her cruel mother. Spoiled Rich is not about to let Diamond Tiara get away with humiliating her in front of the whole school.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 55 )

Lol. What possible second chapter could there be for this fic?

“It’s okay. We got our cutie marks now and that’s all that matters.” Sweetie Belle says.

This...I can't get over this. This makes me think you might have missed the point of the episode. XD

i feel sad for Diamond Tiara is that wrong for me to feel and i hate her mother

Amazing story... Please update soon

This does bring upa question.. who is in charge of the Equestian Justice system? I remember Luna has returned and you essentially can't lie to her....

Holy shit! Well, that happened!
Oh, and could you give this message to Spoiled Rich for me:
FUCK YOU:flutterrage:
Cheers:pinkiehappy:

You know, fun fact, prior to the last episode's release, I would have thought: Meh, another one.

Now I'm thinking: Oh. Meh, another one.

Nice first chapter :twilightsmile:
I'm looking forward to the next.

I really like the idea of Spoiled Rich snapping like that, though the execution needs a bit of polishing. You know the usual, being a bit more discriptive on the events, a few more details on the characters. How they feel, how they behave and how they percieve these events happening. What is Spoiled Richs bodylanguage as she is yelling a Diamond? What does the shock do to her, when she realizes that she just hit her own daughter? Details like that do a lot to make this kind of szene come to life.
Also, it moves a bit fast from "Your fathers not here" to "You hit me" to "Sweet Celestia, i killed my daughter" and that makes it a bit overwhelming and the individual points don't have the punch they could have. It should be a bit more drawn out, give the individual points a bit more emotional buildup.
Cause, with a bit of work this can be a real good punch in the gut :raritywink:

But those are just my two bits

All the essential framework is already there, now you just have to expand on it.

6533927 Well, not to give too much away I was planning on making another chapter about Spoiled Rich trying not to get caught and maybe a funeral scene.

6534286 The 'execution' needs a bit of polish?

So does your choice in words now :moustache:

6534240 Oh, god! I didn't realize how many people wrote stories like this. I know a few people wrote stuff like this about Scootaloo's dad. I thought I was coming up with a decent story idea, but I guess the rest of the world beat me to it. :derpyderp1:

6534485 Yeah, everythings already been there in some form somewhere. Can make a good story out of it regardless.

6534573 I have to say your comment really helped me out. i took the time to jazz it up a little. I was thinking about scrapping this story and writing a different story, but I might give this another chance.

Wow, this is the darkest dark...:fluttercry:

Please tell me she ends up sharing a cell with Tirek.

6534944 Forget Tirek, give her to the Chimera.

:pinkiegasp:That...what the...?! Spoiled Rich! You stupid whore! How dare you?! :fluttercry::raritycry:

Please, continue. I'm stupidly curious what's gonna happen next. You've even inspired me to write fic in the future where Spoiled Rich believes that Diamond is dead, but she's actually alive, and someone will find her corpse and save her. Of course, if that's not already the plot of your story. Is it? :rainbowderp:

6537413 No it isn't. I just finished writing chapter 2. I still have one more chapter to go.


6538193 when will it be out

6534724 Glad i could help :twilightsmile:
And you did improve it noticably. The pacing is still pretty fast, but i'm sure you'll get the hang that as well

Right, I have a confession to make... I originally thumbed this down because I HATED the idea of something horrible like this happening to DT just when it looked as though her future was going to turn out well after all... But now I realise, that was pretty churlish of me. The actual story is brilliant, and I shouldn't judge it just because I find the subject matter so repellent. So, I've changed my vote... And will pray tonight that Ms Rich is gonna burn in hell.

6538550 I really don't blame you for wanting to dislike this story. I usually prefer to write funny stories over sad ones. I wanted to see Diamond Tiara to get character development in the worst way. When she finally did, I was so fascinated by how such a unlikable character can be redeemed. Now so many people are writing about her being hurt by her mother that it's starting to get really overused. Like when Frozen came out and all the little girls always sing Let it Go. I'm going to do the best I can to try to take the idea and make it my own. I'm glad that you are enjoying it now and I would like to thank you for taking the time to read my story.:twilightsmile:

6538479 I'm not sure. Hopefully in the next couple of days. I'm planning two other story ideas.

:rainbowderp: Your story is very similar to mine... Even the picture! I must say though, yours is quite darker, what with a death and all. :pinkiecrazy: Good job! :pinkiesmile:

hmmn, quite short, and this feels rushed...it could have been expanded upon and been more in depth

Hmm... To be honest, not up to the standard set by the last two chapters.

Particularly the part about Scootaloo conveniently learning how to fly just in time to save Sweetie Belle... A 'wish fulfillment' moment at it's worse.

Still, the premise alone is enough to bring a tear to my jaded eye... So props for that.

It would have been nice too (and cathartic ) , to have a little epilogue where we see Spoiled Rich suffering the horrors of Tartarus. Might I suggest a scorching flame, lots of sharp pointy thingies and a pair of giant pliers. Game on...

...I...I lost it at many points during this chapter! No story has ever made me cry that hard! Not even My Little Dashie! During the last part of this chapter with Apple Bloom and DT's ghost, I had to stop reading for a minute, because I was crying so hard I couldn't even read! :raritycry::raritycry::raritycry: Just...excellent so far! I'll read the last chapter later, because I have to sleep now. Again, well done! You made a man cry like a baby! :fluttercry:

This feels a little rushed...

Is it bad I have no emotion for this story what-so-ever :unsuresweetie:
And I have not shed one tear , cross my heart , hope to fly , stick a cupcake in my eye

Throw Spoiled Rich to the manticore! :flutterrage:

6546727
6543888 You're right. I did cover a lot of action rather quickly. It's a bad habbit of mine. I just get so excited about what's going to happen next. I might go back and add a few more paragraphs. Sorry about that.

6545907 I am so sorry. I didn't want to make anybody cry. I'm glad you thought it was good though. :fluttershysad:


6547726 I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. I'm not sure if that means you're emotionally strong or my writing is weak.

6549300 its a bad thing , not for you, but for me . I didn't cry when etheir of my cousins died or when my aunt died. But the feels were there so I'm following you:pinkiehappy:

6549300 it's okay. When you get a reaction from the reader, like me crying, you know that you've done one heck of a job! I still have to read the third chapter, dang it! Hopefully, I'll find time to read it soon.

Nice! Very nice! Well done! Sure it felt a little rushed and it had minor issues, but that wasn't a big deal. I'm glad that DT is now in a better place :pinkiesad2: and glad that her mother is in hell! :pinkiecrazy:

Generally good ideas, but way too rushed to be enjoyable.
You should give writing more time. Writing as many events in as short of a timeframe as possible does not make a story more exciting, it just grabs you at your tail and rushes you through it, so that the story goes by like a blur for the reader.
For example, when Diamond Tiara dies, you don't feel anything. It just sort of happens, and since it's written so rushed, it doesn't affect you.

YEAH! SUCH ON THAT SPOILED RICH! :pinkiecrazy:

Also, Scoots learned how to fly! :scootangel:

No, no, no, no, STUPID! You should've had Spoiled Rich dying! Diamond Tiara pushed her out the window, Down the stairs. The woman poisoned herself in drinking rat poison. You're just as bad as the writer that wrote Usagi killed Chibi Usa. How in the name of God can you just off a main character? You kill the minor characters like Spoiled Rich. I've read 2 stories where a fire broke out at the Rich manor, why not use that? Whole concept of the story ruined that you had Diamond Tiara getting killed, shame on you. Now you just made me very unhappy. I love Diamond Tiara, why did you kill her you bastard?

Darren5000 you are so rude and the story isn't bad you just Toxic and don't call her stupid that just mean

RarityEQM um the Cutie Mark Crusader's aren't Blank Flank anymore so Cutie Mark Crusader's and Diamond Tiara and also sliver spoon are friend now

Fluttercheer
I disagree with you it is rush but is still a emotional spoiled rich is a heartless monster and Diamond Tiara father is a kind hearted pony


I did enjoy the story and not everyone think like you

10803245

Why does criticism of this story upset you so much that you respond to numerous people (one of whom has died, by the way, so you won't get a reply by RarityEQM) and pretty much attack them?

10803186
I know what something is bad as your story is like going to a restaurant and spending 25 bucks on a DINKY doesn't fill you up meal. I don't believe in killing off a CHARACTER like Diamond Tiara as it seems bastard like to do that. You're better off OFFING the mother as she's a non caring tool. The father should be buying Spoiled off like JR Ewing drove his own wife away. Killing off Diamond Tiara ruins a story. Death to me of a character should be they had a bad dream, woke up, and made something of their lives.

10803808
Some writers can't handle criticism. That's why I got reserves about posting my work as I feel it's great, but stuff like the nudity (which is not obvious what you see in some magazine per say as I make it art like) and I'd get more criticism than praise when I have the girls reaching down within themselves to correct their friendship and rescuing somebody.

10804867

How in the name of God can you just off a main character? You kill the minor characters like Spoiled Rich.

I know what something is bad as your story is like going to a restaurant and spending 25 bucks on a DINKY doesn't fill you up meal.

Do you have some kind of hate boner against background ponies? The way how you put main characters above them in your comment from 2019 and how you highlight Dinky's name in this response here sounds like that.

10805334
Background or not, killing Diamond Tiara like that seems barbaric. If the author calls it no big deal, there's a problem obviously. Diamond Tiara is not some dictator pony or some mafia pony. Killing off a child pony is just morally wrong. What Spoiled Rich has done to her, big difference. I disagree with the approach, I don't want to debate this. That's how it turns into troll flame wars. I have a right to call a story I don't agree with a terrible idea.

10806566

Background or not, killing Diamond Tiara like that seems barbaric.

If that's your reason, then you shouldn't voice comments in a tone that is derogatory to background ponies.
.

I have a right to call a story I don't agree with a terrible idea.

You don't have any such right. What makes you think so? It's okay if you don't like the direction of a story, but calling a story a "terrible idea", calling it "STUPID", shaming the author for writing it and then calling the author a "bastard" just because you personally "don't agree" with the story is nothing but insults. This is not a way to give an author who worked hard on their story feedback. If you left a comment like this under one of my stories, I would instantly block you after seeing it.

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