After the events of "Crusaders Of The Lost Mark" Diamond Tiara becomes friendlier and finally accepts the CMC as her friends. All is well for her...except for the fact that her mother is beating her on the down low and her dad doesn't even care. Before, they just were vocally abusive, but her mother is now physically abusive and her dad is negligent. During one of these beatings, Diamond Tiara gets hoofed in the face and the CMC, Silver Spoon, and everypony else notices.
What happens then? Does Diamond Tiara get justice, or will fate punish her for her wrong doings?
Chapters (4)
Glad to see that Mrs Rich is about to be exposed, but that tragedy tag does have me worried that this will not end happily for anypony.
7174462 It is Tragedy because the ending is "bad," but it's more bittersweet.
7174758 A bit of advice for you: Don't reveal spoilers before the story is even over now.
7176141 It's a bad habit of mine, but I will work on it.
Welp that's another story of RayDawn I am now tracking. Well done
The Rich's have too much money and too many connections to ever pay for her crimes. Unless she does it in front of a lot of respectable adults as witnesses, and even that is a maybe. Diamond Tiara is never going to be free until she is in her grave.
"Not Guilty... Now where's my 30 bits of silver..."
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!!!!!!!!
(Cough) Fix! (Cough) Damn the Riches (Well, one in particular) and their money! Somepony's been bribed big time, or blackmailed.
Personally, I think it could have gone on a bit longer and more drama could have been added. While I feel sad that Diamond's now homeless, least she's out from her mother's hoof/thumb. Oddly enough through, that twist at the end reminds me of my own story where a place where the Riches live or work burns down. Have you been reading Broken Diamond?
Seriously though, it just feels like that comes out of nowhere and with no prior buildup.
I got a picture in my head of Sweetie Bell walking by, with a smile, overhearing them talk.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/9/28/108273__safe_meme_photo_vector_sweetie+belle_pony_fire_ponies+in+real+life_selfie_arson.png
Don't mess with Sweetie Bell's friends.
7389299 No I haven't read Broken Diamond. Also the fire is a response to how Cheerilee said everypony gets what's coming to them and I pictured a fire because of the music video. Originally, that wasn't there, but I decided to add it. I'm one of those people who can't stand to someone get away with terrible things.
7390359 Yeah, but the scene of a Rich owned building burning to the ground did remind me of my own story, in fact in mine it kickstarts everything. And yeah, the fire being a response to Cheerliee saying everypony gets what's coming to them... I have one thing to say that pretty much agrees with that, and that is Karma is a Bitch.
7390618 Literally if Cheerilee wasn't a teacher I would've written her saying "Karma's a bitch and nopony escapes it." So I agree.
7390632 And now you've just given me the image of Cheerilee being one of the three Fates from Greek myth and snipping ponies' life strings.
Filthy Rich will probably be willing to pay off and get back on his hooves in no time.
Spoiled Rich? Let's see if she can go back to the family jewellery business.
"Is the jury teady to give a verdict?"
Are friends really worth this pain the answer to that question my dear is yes true friends are worth this pain
7174758 she loses her Fortune but to be fair though she lost it the day she chose to disown her name and she doesn't care because she's with a family who actually does care about her
7378375 the Richards family could have blackmailed me all they want they could have even bribed I would have taken the bribe but I was still would have thrown them in jail never trust me because just because you give me money doesn't mean the law won't be served it will be served with the one who gave me money in jail and with me keeping the money
7389371 Your comment just made my day. but here is a video that show what I would do to spoiled rich if I ever saw her (she is in the center of the explosion)
7491750
Nay, the answer be, real friends be worth this pain, a betrayer has no place in your rnaks, not he who hides behind a mask of lies and shaded eyes.
sheesh brutal start, but a good story nonetheless
poor diamond tiara
bruh, thats fucked up, spoiled rich should be guilty!
Personally speaking, and please take this with a grain of salt on account of the stories age and the fact that I am not a professional critic/editor. I'm just a dude who loves reading.
This story really felt rushed, like the premise was okay, but everything felt like you were trying to do one of those speed-writing challenges. The plot jumped from playground to conflict to drama with a snap of Discord's claw, the dialogue was fast and bullet-point direct, and the ending was like one of those old telegraph letters where you end the message with STOP.
Again, the premise was there, and to balance things out, here's some ideas should you ever consider doing a rewrite:
Again, I know this is an older story, and I mean absolutely NO disrespect in my rather lengthy comment.