Chapter 21
Big Science.
Lunch was a mild glazed carrot and cauliflower curry, eggplant steaks dipped in a lentil flour batter, fried to a delightful golden brown, and served with fragrant saffron rice. Piper was slow to try it, worried that curry meant heat, but was won over with one cautious bite. Hennessy had no such hesitation when he dug in, and neither did Flicker. Doctor Sterling, not a fan of too-spicy food, was thankful that his housekeeper had shown mercy and had spared them all.
Green bean tarts had been served for dessert.
Alas, the delightful meal could not last forever, and the doctor hurried his apprentices through the meal, reminding them that there was much to do. Lentil tried to shush him, but had no success, as Doctor Sterling was very stern and straightforward about getting things done. Even relaxed days had a schedule to follow, and the doctor made that clear. Everything was washed down with pomegranate juice, which caused Hennessy to pucker, and made his ears waggle with every swallow.
Then, with much sadness and dragging of hooves, goodbyes were said; the four companions left their warm, gracious host, the ever so delightful Madam Pakora, having full bellies, lifted spirits, and in the case of Hennessy, a strange, mysterious connection that left him wondering what had just taken place with the enigmatic housekeeper from the subcontinent of Windia.
And so, they departed through the kitchen door…
Moving at a swift trot in a two by two formation, the four companions passed the fortified tower that housed the Royal Academy of Science. Statues of an earth pony, a pegasus pony, and a unicorn pony all stood rearing up together, forming a triangle with one another. In between them was a glowing, crackling orb of magic, the symbol of the fearsome magical might of Equestria and the unified three tribes.
In Canterlot, there was old money, the wealthy noble families that had existed for centuries, and there was old learning, noble families that had dominated the fertile fields of science for centuries. These families, using these fertile fields, had cultivated some strange, and some might even say, weird fruit. It could be argued that old learning had more prestige than old money, and it was a matter of endless debate among equine sociologists found within the Royal Academy of Science for the past two centuries. Science was might, and might made right.
In Equestria, science was its own religion, and its fanatical, overzealous devotees could be found inside of the massive, imposing tower that the companions now passed. Scholars from all over the world came to study here, and it could be said that the tower was a lighthouse, a beacon for scholars to come and find refuge after sailing the high seas of ignorance.
It was also a very dangerous place to enter, as there was always some manner of experiment going on that one might have to defend themselves from, or even worse, spirited debate, the sort of spirited debate that involved dueling, deciding the hard way who was right, and who was wrong. One had to keep their wits about them before entering the front door, or even the back doors, or the doors that randomly appeared throughout the day—those doors could be the worst.
Flicker, still new to Canterlot at the time, had gone through one of those doors, lured by the promise of free cupcakes. The cupcakes had been a lie and nothing but an army of giant preying mantises could be found beyond the door, along with a cadre of cackling scientists armed with clipboards and ink pens of various colours to grade performance.
It had taken hours to hose away the bug guts from the hallways after Flicker, who had armed himself with a wooden mallet, had given a good accounting of himself against the endless swarms of cat-sized preying mantises. The scientific hypothesis that the dim witted and the brave could be lured in with cupcakes to fight armies of giant preying mantises had been proven with rousing success, and there had been much self-back patting that day.
Within the hyper-dimensional hallways of the fabled tower of learning, it was said that anything was possible. Even Death herself could be cheated, as she had no doubt become lost from the misleading signs and lousy directories written by lazy interns who slacked off on the job, but meeting her in the hall was no doubt one of the many hazards that one had to account for when traversing the tower.
As Piper passed by an inviting looking yellow door, she read a cheerful looking sign aloud: “Free cupcakes, available for a short time only.”
“‘Tis a lie,” Flicker muttered, still bitter that he had never received his promised cupcake.
Hennessy, who had stopped in front of a bright red door, stopped to read the sign. “This one says to give over all killers, thieves, bureaucrats, and lawyers… what goes on inside this place?”
Doctor Sterling, who paused to look at the red door, replied, “Clearly, rats aren’t vile enough for some experiments. Come, let us be away from this place, we have much to do.”
“Hey! Hey!” A breathless looking green unicorn wearing a lab coat came running up to the foursome and came to a skidding halt, his eyes were wide and he panted a great deal. “Have you lot seen a giant talking strawberry with big, sharp, pointy teeth? His primary means of locomotion are a cluster of vines growing from his top.”
“No,” Piper replied, “I can’t say that I have.”
“Oh bother.” The unicorn wearing a lab coat looked worried and he let heave a shuddering sigh. “Right. Well then, I suppose I’ll keep looking for a while before I sound the alarm then. No sense causing a panic until there actually is one.”
“Best of luck,” Hennessy offered.
“We really should be away,” Doctor Sterling said in an urgent voice, “come, come with me now, and don’t dawdle!”
The doctor came to a halt between a tavern and a pub. Between them, there was a narrow alleyway, a mob of royal guards wearing armor, and a heavy spiked gate. There was no sign announcing this location, as those who needed to be here already knew where it was. The guards watched Doctor Sterling, and one of them saluted, extending a wing.
“Lord Sterling Shoe, welcome. What business do you have here?”
The doctor cleared his throat and then stood tall, lifting his head high. “I have come with Flicker Nicker to purchase weapons.” Doctor Sterling gestured at Flicker, who stood beside him, and there was a feverish, manic gleam in the colt’s eyes that alarmed the doctor just a little bit.
“And he’s earned the right to bear arms?” The guard focused his hard gaze upon the frock coat wearing colt beside the doctor. “He’s very young.”
“He’s very capable,” was the doctor’s dry reply. “The other two are still untested.”
The guard scowled as he stared at Hennessy and Piper. “The rules here are very strict. Touch anything, anything at all, and things will go bad for you. Looking is fine, but touching will get you locked up for a minimum of thirty days. Am I understood?”
Both Hennessy and Piper nodded.
“You there,” the guard said to Flicker, “come forwards and submit.”
Without hesitation, Flicker, his eyes still filled with a feverish gleam, came forward. He was surrounded on both sides by pegasus pony guards, and a unicorn wearing golden armor surrounded him with magic. Flicker did not panic, as he knew that he had done nothing wrong, and therefore, had nothing to worry about.
“This’ll sting a bit,” the unicorn said to Flicker, as he lifted the colt’s right front hoof. The unicorn produced a rolled up sheet of parchment and a bright steel pin. Squinting with concentration, he unrolled the scroll, put the flattened parchment down upon the ground, stabbed the steel pin into Flicker’s frog, and then pressed the colt’s hoof down upon the parchment as the blood flowed like scarlet ink.
“Say your name, colt,” the unicorn commanded.
“Flicker Nicker.” As the colt spoke, his name burned onto the parchment with indigo flames and he watched as more of his own blood soaked into the fine, ivory paper. It was all so enchanting and he was enraptured, taken with this magical moment that marked his continuing journey into adulthood.
Saying nothing, the unicorn lifted Flicker’s hoof away from the parchment, he rolled it up, and then, with a flash of his horn, the parchment, now a neat-rolled scroll, vanished from view. He focused his hard looking flinty eye on Flicker, and nodded.
“Welcome to Mercenary Alley,” one of the pegasus guards said to Flicker. “You are free to pass this gate at any time on your own. Good luck, Mister Nicker, and may your career be as illustrious as it is prosperous.”
“Thank you,” Flicker replied in a hushed whisper as the gate opened, revealing a truly magical place beyond.
The narrow alley had shops on either side that held every type of weapon imaginable. Flicker stepped out of the way of the gate, he didn’t wish to be rude after all, and then stood there, trying to take it all in. Not far away, there was a diamond dog sharpening a sword on a grinding wheel. A griffon was hawking vicious looking steel darts. A team of minotaurs showed off a display of hammers and axes.
The alley was secured and covered, no pegasus ponies or flying creatures could drop in. Guards were everywhere, watching, waiting for trouble. Everypony, everyone present, all were on their very best behaviour and no one dared to be rude for any reason. Haggling was done in a calm, cool manner.
“If you are rude or disrespectful, the mercenaries here have a right to cuff you. Even worse, they have the right to challenge you to a duel of first blood, so be on your very best behaviour. I don’t want to have to fight any duels on your behalf.” Doctor Sterling looked at his three apprentices. “Mind your manners and for you, Miss Pie and Mister Walker, it would be best if you did not speak until you are spoken to. Being untested, you are here under my good graces. Your poor behaviour will be a source of trouble for me. Do you understand?”
Piper nodded, and so did Hennessy.
“Mister Nicker, you are one of us now, congratulations.” Doctor Sterling smiled and gave Flicker a fond look. “You’ve worked very hard to get to this point. There are many older apprentices that still have not earned this right. Wicked and I both are very, very proud of you.”
Flicker, who did not expect such praise, stood there, silent, solemn, and after a moment, he nodded, but said nothing. He just stood there, wide eyed, his swollen ears drooping a bit, and his breathing became a little heavier, but not by much. For a brief second, it almost appeared as though the colt might smile, but that moment vanished in an eyeblink.
“Come, Mister Nicker, let’s go sword shopping. I know a place…”
The shop was very, very narrow, as space was at a premium, and it was maybe three yards deep at the very most. At the far end of the shop, there was a counter, and behind the counter, there was a grizzled old diamond dog wearing spotless bifocals. His apron was clean, white, and his bright red jerkin showed no signs of lint.
“Lord Sterling Shoe,” the diamond dog said in a muted, dry, Grittish accent, “how do you do?”
“Mister Blackmoor.” Doctor Sterling bowed his head. “I have brought you a first time customer, my apprentice, Mister Nicker. Do with him as you will.”
The diamond dog, upon hearing these words, looked very solemn. “Well, you only get one chance to earn a lifetime customer, as I always say. Hello, young Mister Nicker, and welcome to my shop. Do you know what you want?”
“I need two swords,” Flicker replied, thinking about his encounter with the bear. He heard a gasp from Doctor Sterling and the diamond dog, Mister Blackmoor. Feeling a little nervous, he licked his lips so that he might continue, “They can’t be too long, as I do much of my work in the sewer. They need to be suitable for stabbing, as that works well against rats, but I want something with sturdy blades for scissoring, just in case I run into a rabid bear ever again.”
Saying the word ‘scissoring,’ Flicker thought of what he knew, how metal and friction pulled flesh in two different directions, ripping and tearing, creating life threatening trauma. Lost in his own thoughts, he was unaware that Mister Blackmoor was now peering at him through his bifocals.
“I don’t want double sided blades, I want something sturdy that I don’t need to worry about breaking. They need to be light, but not too light, as I need some weight to keep up deadly momentum when I do flurry attacks. Also, something with a high intimidation factor might be nice.”
“Well…” The greying diamond dog adjusted his glasses with his paw. “I think I have something that might interest you… unicorn swords, made by unicorns, for unicorns… they’re kind of unusual, but I think they might be just what you need. Let me go into my vault and get them for you. Just one second.”
And then, Mister Blackmoor vanished through a tall, narrow door behind the counter.
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Dual wielding unicorn
Reminds me of the blacksmith scene in SAO Abridged
7765829
SAO?
Soap and oil?
Soup and olives?
And yet they still deride him for his youth. I can only hope to see their faces when he outshines them all.
Erm, read their faces. 'Cuz it's text.
Hrm.
7765832
Sword Art Online, I believe. It's a show. Never seen it myself, but it's pretty polarizing.
an other great chapter, things keep getting interesting with this story.
7765835
There was a side story to the Dragon Riders of Pern series 3 books long Called Dragon Song, Dragon Singer and Dragon Drums. in the third a younger apprentice who could no longer keep up his usual singing due to his voice cracking and changing was sent to apprentice under their Harper Holds Drum Master. He pretty much had a talent for everything and pissed off the older apprentices. Damn near Hospitalized him by covering the stairs up into their tower with oil so he would slip and fall down them. only reason they were caught is because the stairs were suspiciously clean and there was oil still on his shoes or boots what whatever he was wearing. I have to wonder if something like this may happen at some point with Flicker.
when you say cuff, do you mean:
Or:
ssgsolutions.co.uk/images/ssg-handcuffing-course.jpg
7765870
Cuff = thwap to the head in a not so gentle manner to make a point.
7765881
I thought so, it's just that you made the place seem so very strict, there was room for semantic uncertainty.
7765888
A cuff was a term under the code of chivalry. A churlous or cheeky squire could be cuffed, for example. To wit, a cuffing was done with the flat of the palm or the wrist, you could not strike a squire with your closed fist, if you did, you yourself could be subjected to punishment.
I feel like when flicker earns his eventual title as most of your protagonists do. (The Druid, the lord of winter, the lantern bearer, etc) his title will be something like "the exterminator" or "pest control".
Or maybe "THE rat catcher" but he doesn't take prisoners.
Sword like this then?
pre03.deviantart.net/2a7e/th/pre/f/2016/337/7/a/unicorn_sword_by_lynx318-daqg6sb.jpg
7765912
Um, no. One long continuous edge from end to end, and not as curved. Hard to scissor with such a curve.
7765832 SAO biscuits?tse1.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.M8797664f28d9b56845d8d01794360f2fH0&pid=15.1&P=0&w=217&h=164
Interesting chapter Nicker has apparently given some thought to his weapons choice. Though he does seem to be good at improvising though he might need a little more training with explosives before he uses them again.. at least it wasn't inside a sewer where gases could build up with nasty results
7765869 very good series in terms of personality when not trying to be something he isn't Piemer and Nicker are total opposites. Though both came into thier talent young.
7765919 Back to the forge *sigh*
7765926
Also, straighter, and suitable for stabbing. Narrower. A thrusting tip in each end. Something slight and made for actual penetration, like say, on a bear.
He needs a pair of tanto.
7765832
7765838
Yeah, sword art online. It's an.. Interesting anime. It had an interesting enough premise but failed hard in execution.
Something Witty YouTube channel did an Abridged version that is absolutely hilarious, and is (in my opinion) better than the original.
Why not get one sword for rats and one sword for bears? I mean, he can't scissor he he doesn't have both swords on him. Or maybe a nice morning star or flail? Something to that could break a bears bone and cripple it rather than relying on him evading with repeated slashes and stabs? Although, I suppose scissoring a ligament would be just as bad.
I expect the swords might choose the pony in a magical alley like this.
7765923
That is where I drew the similarities. Them both being young apprentices who are very good at what they do and by doing so earn the ire of the older apprentices who think they are making them look bad by having so much raw, natural talent that they do in a very short amount of time what took them years to or even have yet to do themselves.
7766024
Personally I'm more of a enchanted or poisoned blade user. My personal favorite is the oil soaked blade with a grind wheel in the hilt to light it.
7766012
It and other anime's have been trying for years to copy and capture what the .Hack series did with varying degree's of success and/or failure. Friend of mine who reviews games and anime, and anything that is Tokusatu, aka Kamen Rider/Super Sentai and the like, related, ee considers Sword Art Online to possibly fail the worst at it.
7766024 wouldn't need to scissor the ligament just cut it. An ancient torture would be cutting the ligament in the thigh IE hamstring then letting the victim go.
Something a bit longer, single-edged and stout, but with a point, then. A pointed falchion, perhaps, or more likely a lange messer. (Not the larger, two-handed kriegsmesser, but rather its one-handed kin)
For reference: Falchion
kultofathena.com/images/BKS1001_4_l.jpg
Lange messer:
twerchhau.de/wp-content/gallery/waffen/das-messer.jpg
7765932
If it's made for Unicorns by Unicorns, I wonder if it'll have extraneous things such as handles, or a fuller.
The writing on this chapter was top notch. A griffon hawking... a team of minotaurs...
7766195 Well, the fuller is there to make the blade lighter, so that much, I'd expect.
7766210
But a fuller was used based on forging a blade with a hammer, and while I agree it would make sense here, I guess I just wonder how much Transmutation was involved in the process.
Just how Unicorn are we getting here, you feel me?
7766220 Oh, good point, aye - direct magical metalshaping, as opposed to telekinetically wielding a hammer. Didn't think of that!
Getting a bit of a Diagon Alley feel from this, though that may be as simple as it being an alley with specialized shops.
I wonder if Flicker is going to make a bit of a name for himself here with that weaponry selection. Doctor Sterling and Mister Blackmoor seemed surprised by it at least.
Would said sword have been in the vault for some time?? Would they say be picky as in difficult to wield per chance??
Just the way the good Doctor gasped I'm getting a feel for some kind of magical/artifact weapon vibe.
First thing what pops into me head
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/633/325/c5e.jpg
A million people probably said this already, but Aperture would be proud to count those scientists among their numbers.
Also, I will sacrifice any number of bunnies, fishes and/or rats in exchange for a story centered around a Weedverse Canterlot scientist.
7768603
You're reading it. Well, in a sense.
7766012 I found the anime an enjoyable watch but I wouldn't say it was 'good.' Regardless the abridged is pure gold.
Getting a real good Discworld vibe from this chapter.
>wanting something for stabbing
>wanting something single edged
Pick one.
7826334
You just described a saber.
7765829 And now those rats don't have to wonder where their god is, because Flicker's right there. And he's fresh out of mercy
Is Flicker getting falchions? Falchions are cool.
Umm. Is this aperture science?
Swords...is he getting scissors?!
Also...those scientists should be careful about those free cupcakes. They might soon have a new study "The Inherit Dangers of Baiting the Hungry and Financially Stressed with Free Sweets and Not Providing Said Sweets."
8909716
Also kind of sound illegal