• Member Since 12th Mar, 2016
  • offline last seen 6 days ago

TheUnicornWriter


Sometimes I write stories and fanfictions in my spare time and other times I play rpg games.

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Nobody knows this but long ago Princess Luna had a young alicorn colt but she never saw him again when Nightmare Moon took over. But now that Nightmare is no longer around, how will her son, Night Sky react and cope with his mother being Princess Luna. But Night Sky must chose, should he stay with his friends or be with his mother again, he can't have both, can he? And who is Ember Phoenix?

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 31 )

I... have a lot of questions :applejackunsure:
Um... Is he still an alicorn? What happened in that 999 year gap? And that convenient amnesia? If Celestia did it it seems more... cruel than kind...

Hmm ill be watching, If you need help with this, give me a holler

For some reason this story reminds me of my own story 'Moonlights Daughter' where Luna has a daughter named Princess Mi Estrella Songbird, who like Night Sky, lost her mother to Nightmare Moon at a young age.

Ow boy night sky what are you going to do and react to nightmare moon and this chapter is very interesting to read keep up the great work update more soon :twilightsmile:

I'll follow this story. I like it this far beside the grammar tweaks. I wonder where you'll take the OC.:moustache:

Will wait patiently for more. I'ld like to see this story unfolded.:yay:

Celestia is evil it is proven she cut a limb off of a foal
If that ain't evil I don't know what is

Nightmare moon is justified celestia just goes around dismembering foals willnilly
Celestia = witch with a b

I'm really hoping you make night an alicorn again because if not there will. Be no forgiveness from Luna when she gets back

Comment posted by TheUnicornWriter deleted Feb 14th, 2017

A few grammar mistakes but further quite enjoyable. Phoenix is also a somewhat odd character, and it surprises me a bit that Fluttershy has not mingled with him in this bit, since they are so simmilar with their shy behaviour.

Hope to see some more character interaction in the next chapter.
Good work.

>>Lazydrill The reason for Ember for being so odd will not be revealed for a long time, but it has something to do with our favourite human.

I thought Luna would get all emotional from seeing her son again after such a long time. Unless she doesn't remember it...

How can it be that Fluttershy and Night have both the same element?

Interested to see where you take this.

7952163 Well at that point Luna just feels too guilty and I may have made a mistake, It was meant to be hope.

Maybe this could start as a open eyes moment for blue blood to be a better person

Quite a short and sudden chapter. May I advise you to see if you can make it longer and describe the surroundings the ponies are in and what they are doing? ( Brushing their chin with a hoof, what their facial expression is, if they look away, if they scrape a hoof along the ground.) It helps by painting a good picture of what happens in the story and makes the characters feel more alive.:moustache:

While I like the story, idea and characters, it is a bit empty of description. For example;

He could remember Celestia standing over him, her eye's were bloodshot, her mane was a sea of pink, he could remember as he hugged the teddy crystal pony that his mother got him as her horn glowed gold, and then waking up on Fluttershy's sofa wrapped up in a blanket.

Only one thought came to him, run, run and never look back. He could hear his mother and aunt calling his name out, but he didn't care he just wanted to get out of here.

This was a sudden transition from sitting with his family and having a flashback to him suddenly running. I'm not saying it is bad, it is sudden and may break immersion because of it.:twilightsheepish:

Further some grammatical errors, but besides that it was enjoyable. I also credit you for making Blueblood more kinder.:twilightsmile:

If you need help with editing chapters, you may send them to me through PM. I will look them through for you and give tips on what you can improve if you like.:yay:

Love the interaction between Luna and Sky. Wonder how he will do in school and how Luna will with Twilight.:moustache:

Could work a bit on grammar and flow, but it was a good read.:twilightsmile:

Aww.... That was heart melting. Love it~! And funny hehe.:rainbowlaugh:

Sees update
Cries"FINALLY"
Sees word count
Feints

While it is very short, it is good to see an update for this.:twilightsmile:

If the name the colt cried is who I think it is, this will get even more interesting.:moustache:

"Forget about Ember, we need to get the Elements down from there" Twilight said wAntinghamto get this done and over with.

Wat

Aaaand blue blood is confused
*pop* noice

It’s been almost a year from the last update, and even then it was only 200 words

With great tears of sadness. I must call this story DEAD... It was a great story and would loved to see it finished, but the reality is what it is. With nothing from the writer in over 4 years their nothing more we can do besides morn the loss of another story to the void.

I wish it's story updates please

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