I was wondering what had become of this song! It certainly looks like you've got the making of quite a tale, here.

So, um... yeah, this is a thing now; Don't ask me how or why.

Anyway, this might have only been a one time deal, although chapter 2 is already well underway, and I do have further ideas on how this might proceed after that.  Oh, and just to cut off dead-end speculation, no, she is not going to recruit the other M6.  That said, don't count on me getting back to this regularly or soon, but next part should be up before the weekend is over.  Updates to this story will still likely be infrequent and/or inconsistent at best.  Then again, I never thought even this much would go up, or that I'd write a good chunk of Ch2 before Ch1 even went live, so who knows?

Also big thanks go out to the folks at Friendship is Witchcraft for writing the music that inspired all of this.

────────────────

Oh and sorry, Fizzy Orange.  Looks like I lied about my next fic having no L!M6.  I didn't mean for this to happen instead, honest.

Hmm. So far Silverstar is reminding me a bit of Rooster Cogburn from True Grit. The 2010 one, not the 1969 one, but only because it's been forever since I've seen the 1969 one. If you play up that aspect (heck, go for the 1969 one and just make him Pony Wayne), you'll probably be able to get the comedy back.

Oh god......Is it sad that I actually sung the lyrics out loud as I was reading?

Whoops, you forgot to close your bold and color tags.

>>788174788174

What?  Where?  Story looks completely fine on my end

>>788102788102

It pleases me that my lyrics were good enough to sing.

>>785010785010

Ah yes. John Wayne. Patron Saint of Westerns and War movies alike.

...at least my father seems to think so, anyway. He has a bible and a cross by his bed, and a picture of John Wayne bigger than the fireplace over the mantle, and a replica of the man's rifle over THAT.

Speaking of which, where do you want this to take place, chronologically?

>>788187788187 I see problem with the colour tags too myself. Everything turned lavender until the end.

anyway this is something interesting. I wonder how it'll end up

I'd almost want to see a version of this...

This is going to be epic. Epically hilarious...

>>788258788258

Still not seeing it on my end, and the tags all seem to check out.  Fimfic or some specific browser/configuration would seem to be the one ing, not me.

>>788245788245

Oh my, I have absolutely no clue.  Wasn't even sure this would make the cut in a way that mattered.  As of right now, since none of the action yet crosses over with the L6, I'd leave it's placement as ambiguous.

>>788306788306

Well, that was a decidedly contributing factor responsible for inspiring the last two words of the chapter.

     Oy, that was intense.

     WRITE MOAAAR.

     ...Please.

Poor Twilight. I like that you managed to evoke feelings of sympathy for her, despite her being so clearly in the wrong and having almost razed a village. I don't want her to succeed, but I don't want her to be totally humiliated and embarassed either. :-)

"My name is Twilight Sparkle, and I think we can both be a great help to each other, sheriff Silverstar."

I think Sheriff is supposed to be capitalized, but otherwise, this is brilliant!

>>788521788521

As per my comment up top, "MOAAAR", is already in the works.  Things will be a bit different with each chapter though, as each of the next 5 will be told mostly from the perspective of whatever hapless pony Twilight is trying to recruit.  So word of warning, there may be unexpected tonal shifts ahead, but I hop that everyone can enjoy the ride.

>>788598788598

Mixed feelings you say?  Then I have been successful.

oh, this is gonna be nuts. And maybe not a good way, either. Twilight... don't make me side against you. It's Trixie you're taking on, after all. She's my number one pony.

Given the poor foal's over-reliance on dictionary meanings and vital statistics, she's going to make a big mistake....especially since she totally ignores the one advantage Trixie has over her in both timelines: the ability to read other ponies. What she'll probably do is fill the elemental slots thusly:

1) Generosity: Locate some jerk who donates loads of bits to charities to get his/her name in the papers; said creep would be like L!Rarity who's only generous so she can help herself.

2) Kindness: The local analogue to a TV preacher. Said icon would be all benevolence in public and thus fool somepony as blind to nuances as L!Twilight but actually be a pious fraud.

3) Honesty: A stroke victim deprived of the ability to filter out what s/he says.

4) Loyalty: Some poor drone like Octavia who's the pawn of an ambitious noble and knows it.

5) Laughter: A crazy pony who makes L!Pinkie Pie look as timid as L!Fluttershy.

Since she wants very much to not get the point because doing so would mean that she should have taken the time to have a life, Twilight is opening herself up for not just another humiliation she'll learn the wrong thing from but becoming another Octavia: the cat's-paw of somepony like Blueblood.

>>793166793166

Well, you got one of those mostly right, and another is pretty close depending on how broad a stroke you'd like to take.

And yeah, Twilight is relying on fairly text book like definitions, but given that she is such a giant nerd, it's a pretty advanced text book.  So, while her interpretation will be very literal, she does possess a conceptual grasp that goes beyond the smallest most basic understanding.  In some cases she might actually miss the mark by interpreting.

>>793233793233

True. Still, though, this will not end well for her. I'd say by the time the crossover gets here, she'd be in a really bad way. I have no idea what RainbowDoubleDash has planned for her but I really, really, really do not like L!Twilight's chances of avoiding a lengthy stretch in the custody of the Shadowbolts when the dust settles. Getting a shut-up-Hannibal speech from M!Twilight might be what finally gets her to look in the mirror for the source of her woes.

>>793332793332

Only problem there is that she might mistake M!Twilight for the mirror.

>>793371793371

Mirrors don't shake you and tell you "Get a grip, lady!!" They also don't weep openly in sympathy for intellect gone rancid and potential squandered in the pursuit of vengeance. Even though the cross-over will be the first time she actually lays eyes on Corona, L!Twilight is marching down the same path to being somepony who could have been a hero but let negativity destroy her. As they say, there is no fire like passion, no shark like hatred, no snare like folly and no torrent like greed.

>>793414793414

Mirrors don't shake you and tell you "Get a grip, lady!!" They also don't weep openly in sympathy for intellect gone rancid and potential squandered in the pursuit of vengeance.

Are you so sure about that?  This is Twilight —off her rocker— Sparkle we are talking about here after all.

>>794725794725

Point taken. She's THE example of RainbowDoubleDash's premise: her less desirable traits (obsessiveness, intellectual arrogance, refusal to admit that she might be wrong) have been amplified while her Harmonic traits (humility, the ability to find worth in others, her ability to laugh at herself) have been all but eliminated.

>>795275795275

I'm not sure M!Twilight is all that humble.  The only real example of that is Boast  Busters and there it was more out of fear of driving away her new found friends, who seemed so put off by Trixie's bragging.  I also wouldn't say she's all that good at laughing at herself, more so she's good at working her self into such a stressful frenzy that when it finally all cracks laughter is all she's left with.

The real core of her harmonic qualities, as I see it, is her ability to put faith and trust in others, and to make them do the same for her; the ability to some how inspire disparate individuals to cooperate and achieve a greater goal.  She is the magic at the center of the M6s collective friendship; the glue that binds them all together, making each a better pony than they would be alone.

>>795324795324

Here, she lacks that ability to put trust in others and be trusted. Sure, she tells herself that she's doing this for the greater good but she really just wants a pat on the head and a cookie for being smarter than the ciphers who only exist to tell her that she's special.

>>795374795374

Yeup, though I do at least intend to try showing that while her harmonic quality is lessened in the the Lunaverse, it is still there, no matter how much her more unsavory traits seem to overshadow it.

>>795410795410

Too bad that she didn't have a focus for it here. One of the things that happens in both worlds is that her very positive trait of being able to focus on details no one else sees has a revenge effect: it blinds her to the bigger picture. In the Celestiaverse, we see her being too wrapped up in herself to realize ponies do care and enchanting dolls. Here, without someone actively showing her the kindness she craves, she thinks that friendship is a waste of time (all the while blaming the ponies she shoved away for her own failure to act) and gets goaded into smashing up villages by abrasive show-offs.

I wonder down the line, if Draconequii(sp?) are canon and beings of lesser power, would Twilight try and seek one of them out, or does the no-rules aspect of that sort of magic useless to her, despite it's power? /plotbunny

I'm actually a little disappointed.  I'd hoped Twilight would be the cause of the the Crisis crossover.  It seems more interesting to me than just Corona, though of course she could take advantage

>>811551811551

Don't take anything here as any indication how the crisis crossover will go down.  RDD is writing that, not me.  This is mostly just a work of passion that I wrote while in a bit of a weird mental place.  I have no idea how, or even if, it relates to the wider Lunaverse canon yet.  I'm trying to keep consistent, but that's about all I can say.

Right now my focus is purely on telling what I hope is something of an introspective set of character pieces, largely inspired by Twilight's inability to come to terms with her own faults.  Though most of that will be indirect for the next few chapters, as I intend to introduce each of her selected alternate elements through their own perspective so that I can focus on the faults that make them poor choices.

Whether I succeed at any of that will be up to the audience to decide.  Witch should all start soon when I post the next chapter in a hour or so.

Can't believe I forgot to do this last time, but a huge thanks goes out to LDLUYAB for proofing both chapters, and I mustn't forget Mally either, he's been helping out too.  Without them my writing might still have all the same content you people all seem to like or whatever, but it would read like cheep trash.

Anyway, here we meet the first of Twilight's "team".  Sorry if I dialed up the wangst too much for any of your, and if so, well, I hope you'll stick around a little bit longer.  They won't all be so down and dreary, in fact, I think this should be the most depressing it gets, though possibly not the darkest.

Anyway, next up should be Laughter who's shaping up to be just about this guy's polar opposite.  I might even get to add back in the COMEDY tag I originally wanted to put on this story.  Unfortunately though, It may be a while.  The mania that drove me to write all this in the first place has mostly passed, plus I've got a backlog of 17 or so chapters form various fics that I'd like to be reading.

And there's the "Lunaverse Burn" that gets me when we've got Twilight involved anywhere. Actions so terribly in character... and she's got the "Universe's Buttmonkey" flag ticked.

Poor girl can't make a friend without it being a crisis...

D'you think that any of her "elements of failmony" will ever actually be her friends? OR show up at her inevitable trial as witnesses for the defense?

This certainly paints a rather dark picture of Apploosa in the Lunaverse.

This is pretty great. I cracked a smile at the magnificent seven joke and even the mention of 'destiny' that 'manifest' itself hehehe.

Poor Twilight though :( the way she is clearly out of her depth in this whole situation, being a fugitive and all that jazz.

>>812144812144

Can't really say much for certain without spoilers.  At a guess 2 maybe, 2 hard to say, 1 definitely not.

>>812335812335

Glad the Magnificent Seven reference made it though.  Wish I could claim credit for manifest destiny, but that one is just a happy accident that I never noticed until just now.

>>812378812378 Hurrah for happy coincidence then!

Proceed...

So she gets her "friends" together, then... challenge Luna's Crewna to a... something or other? Lwi!light is not great with this lateral thinking stuff, but is that a holdover from the Maneverse? Figured organization implies preparation, but I guess it could just as easily be part of Celestia's influence to prioritize, and without that Twilight has been hitting the workahol non stop.

>>814933814933

She's on the run from the law.  Her whole life has been turned upside down.  She's probably operating at some degree of a Lesson Zero mode.  From her own warped vantage point I'd wager this "plan" of hers probably seems very well thought out and organized; her brain's just not firing with all cylinders, such as it were.

An excellent portrayal of a shattered life, there. I... don't know if it's gonna end well for him or not. I like to hope it will.

Notes:

- So she picked a Failure Knight as her element of Loyalty. This can only end well. (Also, I expect to see her dismissive commentary about the rest of the Luna Six owing her to failure to find value in ordinary ponies.)

- Well, that puts paid to Over a Barrel, doesn't it? The Apple Trust had the bisons exterminated for the money. This makes Applejack the most sympathetic of them.

- Judging from what I saw in Boast Busted, she's been running on fumes for years.

>>816031816031

Thank you.  It was a bit rough to write in that mind set, kinda dropped myself into a bit of funk in the process, but it seems the effort paid off.  Anyway, I too hope things work out for Silverstar, he's pretty down on himself right now but he seems to have an honest soul underneath it all (which is really the bulk of his troubles as were he truly the wicked pony he thinks himself to be he wouldn't be having these regrets).  Too bad I have little clue where this is all going yet and so can't make any guarantees.

>>812324812324 >>816349816349

Minor Technical Note: According to RDD, L!Equestria has different borders than M!Equestria.  I'm playing that some similar scenario accrued, but the name and location of the settlement has been left intentionally vague, as has the identity of the natives.

Also, Silverstar's statement that he no longer has a town to be sheriff of would suggest that it was the natives who won the conflict, though clearly not without losses, while the Apple Trust was forced to withdraw.

>>816461816461

Which would feed into Applejack's paranoia. The Night Court would see it as a minor skirmish brought on by ponies who overreached. AJ would see it as a sign of the end times.

>>816473816473

Well that might be a bit of an exaggeration.  I'm not sure I believe AJ is quite that paranoid.  She'd certainly be unhappy about what happened, but I'd like to think it's the loss of life that would trouble her more than the loss of profit/production.

>>816495816495

True enough. The problem is that she tends to see herself as the only thing standing between Ponyville and famine; this might color how she sees things just a little bit.

Well, I guess this Twilight has the same compulsion to FIX EVERYTHING, just way less to lose.

Looking forward to the next "Meet the Team" chapter.  

Thumb-bump and cheers!

>>811913811913 17? That's nothing, try 50+ appearing at the same time. Also, sorry it took me this long to read; it was a good chapter, and I definitely want to see the rest. I wonder who the other 'elements' are going to be...

>>829899829899

I could probably match that 50 if I actually started reading the 60+ stories in my get-to-it-latter bin.

Anyway, glad you're enjoying and curious to meet the rest.  I'd love to just tell you, but SPOILERS and all that such.

>>829926829926 heh, those updates all came from one story, actually. For over six weeks FiMFiction seemed to forget I was tracking it, and the author somehow manages to update everyday. So yeah...

And please, as much as my annoyingly powerful curiosity is driving me to find out everything, I think you should keep the no-reveal strategy going, thanks.

I really liked this one. I think Clover's personality comes through really well (and now I'm quite curious about how she got her cutie mark). She definitely seems more... sane... than the other 3 members of the fake elements so far, which makes her a useful addition to the team. And I have to admit that I'm kind of rooting for her, even though the fake elements are pretty obviously doomed. She just seems so happy that, despite all her misfortunes, she can bring joy to others.

Someone sing this version of Pinkie's Brew and post it to youtube, NAO.

This was a fun one. Clover has a mentality I can definitely identify with. "Laugh, because the only other options are anger or sadness."

First and foremost I would like to thank both LDLUYAB and Mally for their usual efforts in proofing this chapter for me, with extra thanks to LDLUYAB who helped me flesh out some details that were hanging me up.  I would also like to thank Fizzy Orange, Blackbelt, and GrassandClouds2 for pre-reading this chapter and providing me with additional feedback.

Anyway, sorry to have kept you all waiting so long.  I could have pushed this out the door 3 or 4 days ago, but it wouldn't have been half as good, and well this chapter above either of the two I wrote before it was something I wanted to get right.

There's an old saying that authors can't ever create truly original characters, only ever aspects of themselves.  Unfortunately, yes that does mean I've got more Silverstar in mean than I'd care to admit.  I don't drink, but I do find other ways to punish myself for perceived failings.  That wasn't what held me back here though.  Rather, it's because Clover Charms is so much more so the kind of person I aspire to be, at least in terms of her attitude of taking whatever misfortunes life throws at her and laugh until it doesn't seem so bad.

She's also a full-fledged OC, so more so than any of the rest of Twilight's misfits I had to make sure to present her as a fully fleshed out character, as I couldn't just rely on generally accepted fanon to fill in whatever blanks I left in her.  I hope none of you mind that I used an OC, she's the only one I promise.  She also wasn't always so, actual background ponies that were considered for this role were, Shoeshine, Lucky, and Hugh Jelly, but for various reasons none of them panned out.  However, the last of those just might be the act Twilight mentioned she was trying to catch.

Oh, and most of you probably noticed the profile at the end, done in a style similar to the ones RDD has in his blog for the Luna-6.  While I made sure to have one ready for her because she's an OC, I do intend to put up profiles for all the rest, including going back and adding one for Silverstar.  Maybe even Twilight herself as well, though I'm not sure if I should be that presumptuous.

Anyway, Ch4 will be a much shorter wait, as I was able to write it in between mulling this one over.  It's with Mally for final proofing now and should be up in the next day or two.

Wow. Clover is an excellent addition to Twilight's little posse. I can actually see her embodying the Element of Laughter, but only partially of course.

You're doing a great job of bringing together a group of cracked mirror images here.

In my opinion, you should totally do profiles for everyone, including L!Twilight.

>>924459924459 No to Hugh Jelly?  Heh, I can see how that could have been awkward.

So Clover is actually unlucky enough to talk herself into being un-rejected from bunch of rejects that are on a express elevator to Tartarus?

Wow.      Maybe her cutie-mark should have been a boomerang with a stick of Acme dynamite strapped to it!  

>>924705924705

I hadn't thought about it like that myself, but you're absolutely right.  Not only is her life full of misfortune, but she is apparently fully capable of, even if only unintentionally, inviting more of it upon herself.  Man does it suck to be Clover Charms; the fact that she can just grin and bare it is a true testament of her drive and perseverance.

>>924555924555

It would have to go something like this:

Twilight Sparkle: Younger sister of Shining Armor, Captain of the Royal Guard.

Strengths:

Prodigy: Twilight Sparkle is not only the most gifted student of magic in her generation, she's the most gifted that's appeared in a long time...and, boy, does she like to remind ponies of it. The downside of all of this is that she's somewhat dangerously ignorant of the world outside of her field and seems to not see that as a problem.

Diligent: When she sets herself a task, she will do her level best to accomplish it. Usually, this is a good thing. The problem is that somehow along the way, she never learned to ask herself if the method she is using is the right one or if the task needs doing in the first place. We also have to remember that if her plan isn't working, she doesn't have the wisdom to realize that her methods might be wrong.

Well-connected: Being the daughter of a member of the Night Court and the sister of the Captain of the Royal Guard has given her opportunities denied to ponies who have not lead lives as exalted as her own. This hasn't made her a typical Canterlot snob. What it does seem to have done however is to keep her from understanding how normal ponies live.

Weaknesses:

No Social Life/No understanding of the mundane: It would be a kindness to say that Twilight is a wallflower. Quite simply, she never learned to interact with other ponies or value the company of others. The idea of having friends is so alien to her experience, she quite simply cannot understand it. Also, since being a scholar of magic is the only thing that she values, she has a dangerous lack of awareness of how things really work.

Simplistic Thinking: Her signature character defect, the engine that fuels her failure to play with others if you will, is that she can't see the value of anything that doesn't interest her and cannot see past first impressions or through defense mechanisms. In her mind, Trixie Lulamoon isn't somepony who is both very lucky and who lies owing to a troubled past, she's a dangerous fraud who's a threat to the world. She also tends to rely on dictionary meanings because she never learned to see past the surface.

Stubborness/Obsession: This is more or less the down side of her diligence. What happens is that she gets so focused on a minor detail or attached to a self-serving misapprehension and cannot see that she's marching witlessly towards self-willed ruin. This, coupled with the fear of admitting the least mistake lest she disgrace her family name, makes her less a villain and more a tragic figure who flees from the salvation that her brother wishes to afford her.

Comparison to Mane Six and Luna Six counterpart:

The Twilight that bears the Element of Magic would regard the version of herself that haunts the Lunaverse as a cautionary example of what might have happened if she hadn't had a Celestia in her life. In her calmer moments, the Twilight we see on television clearly understands her own potential for acting against her own self interests; the Lunaverse version has never learned that lesson.

Given that she has no idea that she should have friends (because nopony ever told her to make any) and that she has little patience for the failings of others, L!Twilight clearly seems to regard Trixie as a dangerous and villainous fraud. The idea that Trixie regards her as somepony to be pitied would confuse and anger her.  

>>924778924778

That's pretty dang good right there if I do say so myself.

>>924778924778 >>924796924796

Indeed it is, thank you Candiru.  I've already been working on bits of a profile over on the Lunaverse boards (post #5 or so of the Profiles! thread), but I'll definitely take some of you points under consideration should I get around to finalizing a published bio for her.

>>924756924756  I do like Clover's chipper spirit.  I can kinda see it driving the rest of the merry band to drink, dark magic, and un-ponylike cussing, though.

Have you settled on a title for Team L!Twilight?  

>>924861924861

There is the title of the story.

>>924861924861 >>925088925088

Long ago, when this idea was in its nascency, RDD dubbed them the Elements of Failmony which is pretty much what I've been calling them ever since.  They can also be properly addressed as the Fail-Six, or F6 for short.

This is actually kind of depressing. But in a good way. I really feel sorry for Clover Charms, but I see your point in saying that with her, Twilight has actually come really close to getting it right as her attitude is actually inspirational.

>>924459924459

Presume away; I'd love to have one done up for Twilight.

I really like Clover! I think Twilight managed to actually hit paydirt with this one.

Ah, Clover... I wanna hug her and slip her a bag of bits. She is gonna stick out like a sore hoof, being sane and relatively well-adjusted...

>>925308925308 >>925686925686 >>926238926238

Depressing yet inspirational, yeah that's pretty much exactly what I was going for.  I really am quite glad she seems to be going over so well.  Even going so far as to get people wanting to hug her, though she doesn't really need the sympathy.  Despite her luck, she's got no problem feeling good about herself.  That, said she is by far the character in this story that I most want to see get a happy ending, to finish better off than she started.  Wish I could say with any certainty that would be the case.

Yeah, Twilight really did get it pretty darn close to right here, pity it was only by accident.  I'm kinda sorry though that I went and introduced Clover so early; it's going to make the next three (or at least two of them feel like such an utter fail fest), but for various reasons this is the place she had to go in the sequence.

As for sticking out in Twilight's band of misfits, there will be some of that.  Even if she's a well adjusted one though, Clover here is still something of misfit herself, at least in so far as she's a pony who has never found her niche in the world.  By comparison Silverstar used to have a place for himself, and still would if only he could get over his own self-loathing (if only there was somepony that could teach him to laugh, instead of drink, his troubles away).  Then there is the coming soon Ch4, at the risk of minor spoilers, that pony, while possibly the biggest misfit of them all, has no doubts about their own place in the world.

I'm hoping that once all participants have been revealed that Clover won't seem horribly out of place.  Besides every group needs its straightman or such, somewhat amusing here that it will be laughter playing that role.

>>927019927019 Yeah, you got her right. She almost feels inspirationally disadvantaged as TVTropes calls it. I've come to see her talent as absorbing the bad luck of others so that they have more good luck. I don't know how close that is to what you intended, but that's the idea I have in my mind. You don't often see cutie marks which have a negative effect on the pony who earned them. Closest I can think of from a fanfic where it was done well was the chipped measuring cup from The Worst Bakers of Equestria (excellent fic by the way).

Lucky's story is so sad , I really hope she and Silverstar end up on at least truly friendly term with Twilight. Or with each other (?). I think those two need some sort of happy ending.

What a sad story this is becoming.  Don't even know where this is leading yet but the broken pony after broken pony you're creating is all rather quite depressing.  Hopefully they all get together and help fix each other just a bit...Otherwise this is just going to be a sad story.  Still though great OC and characterization here.  Anxious to see how this develops.

>>931155931155

You and me both.  I'm starting to get a vague idea of things here, but the ultimate outcome is still a mystery even to me.

Anyway, the fic does have the SAD tag for a reason, but it's not my intention to just keep piling it on indiscriminately and without the chance of something better along the way.  Right now I just happen to be focusing on what kind of desperate situations could drive a pony to actually team up with someone like Twilight in whatever nutty scheme it is she's plotting.

I would hesitate though to call Clover a truly broken pony.  Certainly her life is a wreck, but she herself is in pretty good spirit in spite of having ever reason to be miserable.  Even Siverstar is less broken than he tries to insist upon; he still has things that make him feel good, he just no longer wants to feel good about anything.

Of the remaining 3 after this I'd really only call 1 of them 'broken', and only indirectly so.  They're all certainly messed up in someway though.

>>927517927517

A happy ending for Lucky and Silverstar would be nice; wish I actually had 100% control over that.  Perfect as they could be for each other though, I don't think they'll actually end up together, though I certainly wouldn't mind if someone else felt like writing a non-canon shipfic/fixfic that paired the two of them up like that.

>>931913931913 Well I didn't seriously think they would be a couple, but I hope they end up as friends.

Well, this is a little later than intended.  I still haven't heard back from Mally for final proofing, but since this is both the shortest and silliest of the recruitment chapters, I think I can risk publishing it as is.  My apologies for any horrendous spelling or grammatical errors.  I might yet make major revisions to this chapter, and would certanly appreciate any additional feedback from readers.  Now with 100% more Mally grade proofing, and with far less need for major overhaul than I'd feared.

As with the last chapter, I'd like to thank LDLUYAB for providing initial proofing plus extra help with fleshing out some details.  Also, as with last chapter, I would like to thank Fizzy Orange, Blackbelt, and GrassandClouds2 for serving as pre-readers and providing me with additional feedback, with extra thanks going to G&C2 for making me take a second and closer look at how I was portraying this character.  I'm not sure if I was able to adequately address any of those issues, but I did take it all under consideration.

Anyway, some of you may have previously seen me comment that this fic was originally supposed to be an absurdist comedy.  With all of Twilight's misfits being pharisaical parodies of the actual M6.  I even looked to popular parodies of the show for inspiration, but for various reasons that never really panned out the way I planned, except here.  Snowflake is pretty much in every way exactly the kind of ludicrously absurd character I was originally trying for.  So if anyone is having a problem with him, please understand that above all else he is not meant to be in anyway taken as a serious or insightful character.

Lastly, I hate to say, but Ch5 could be a long wait, as it features what might be the most complex of the characters I'm trying to present, and so I need time to make sure I get in all the details I feel are important while keeping them all in a narratively cohesive presentation.  Oddly Ch6 is probably closer to being finished, and so I suppose I could just transpose them, but for various reason that I can't disclose yet I really would prefer to save that one for last.  Also, I think I might want to take some time off from this story, though not from writing entirely.  I've got a pseudo one-shot featuring Carrot Top that I think may be my next immediate project.

Uh, isn't Raindrops Honesty, and Rainbow Dash Loyalty? Though I agree that RD would be a better Element of Honesty, and AJ Loyalty, canon should probably still be considered.

Also, are you going to make a Silverstar character profile thing like you've done for Lucky and Snowflake?

Now, since the story is Elements of Insanity, I'm guessing those might be an actual thing, in which case... either Snowflake or Lucky is Delusion, Silverstar might be Depression or something along those lines, and Twilight, I'm a little uncertain about.

And just to let you know, while I have made a couple of criticisms, I want you to know that the rest of the story is great. And all the other stuff you've written for the Lunaverse.

You used the steroid pony.

I love you.

This comedy has just gotten 20%... No, 100% more absurd!

>>944658944658

Nope, that mix up is fully intentional.  I'm trying to poke a little fun at exactly that kind of fan mentality that thinks RD and AJ should have their elements flipped.  As for any actually Elements of Insanity, I think their might be some measure of that, but who represent what element, or even what the six elements would be, is something I haven't really given much thought to yet and can't do much with till everyone is published.  Please feel free to continue speculating though, just don't forget that Twilight is one of those elements as well.

>>944669944669

You amusement fills me with joyful pride.

I can sympathize with poor Snowflake.

I don't actually have poor hearing. In all honesty, I have pretty good hearing. I do, however, tend to have trouble processing spoken language.

I'm a self taught lip-reader, not to the point that I can read them on their own, but to the point that I understand people much better when I can see their mouth moving.

In the absence of this, I tend to mix up and misunderstand words all sorts of ways. You should hear what I used to think some song lyrics said as a kid. I can't quite recall what they are right now, just that I had a few 'oh, well that makes much more sense' moments upon learning the real lyrics.

It's like I have a minor case of some weird form of auditory dyslexia.

All-in-all these are excellent! Keep 'em coming!

>>944701944701 [The following statement is meant with no sarcasm whatsoever. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye, there will be no sarcasm] I am honored to have you poke fun at a part of my mentality. Not the whole part, I do think that RD and AJ have justification for their canon elements, but a little bit of me says 'That's a little backwards'.

Anyway, let's see. I see Lucky as Delusion, she herself says that she basically deludes herself about the nature of her life. I've said Silverstar. Snowflake is more mislead than deluded, but he's still detached from reality. Still have to work on that one. Twilight herself, I'm currently thinking Desperation, but that probably wouldn't work.

Snowflake seems to be Fanaticism.

A fanatic redoubles his effort when he has lost sight of his goal.

Soooooooo....that's why the nutjob is like that. He can't hear and won't admit it.

>>944751944751

Yeah, I might have a very mild case of the actual reading kind, but nothing that can't be compensated for with reasonably little effort.  I was one of the last kids in my class to learn to read, and despite my parents (both avid readers) trying to kindle a love of it in me, I just never could get all that into reading as a pleasurable activity.  It wasn't until Animorphs came along that I actually was able to find any form of reading I could take to with a passion (and boy did I; I came into the series about mid-way, and tended to read 2 or 3 of the books straight in single sittings about every other day until I caught up).

Anyway, that's probably a big reason why I'm exceptionally bad at proofing my own work.  Once I miss-read a given instance of a word, I tend to do so continuously, and often object vehemently when someone tries to correct me.  Some beauts from my child hood would be from when I first played FF4 (then known as FF2): Cecil was Celtic, Rose was Rosa, and Palom & Porom were Palamor & Poromal.  For a more recent example, before Mally proofed EoI:Ch2 for me, Silverstar's exclamation of "haystacks" actually read "hayestasks", and even when pointed out that what I'd written was no recognizable word, it still took me defending that garbled mess before he was able to convince me what I had actually meant.

>>945011945011 >>944930944930

Fanaticism isn't half bad for Snowflake, but as for Clover being Delusion, I just don't see it.  Of all of Twilight's misfits, she is supposed to be the one who most realizes what her problem is and how to cope with it.  She holds no misconception about how miserable her life is and how she would be entirely justified to be every bit the miserable self-destructive wreck that someone like Silverstar is, but she CHOOSES not to be and instead seeks to treat the mere act of living from one day to the next as the only joy she needs.

>>944658944658

Oh, and yes, I will be doing a profile for Silverstar as well.  Think I mentioned as much in my notes last chapter.

>>945373945373

Heh. I've had some misinterpretations that would have doubled as freudian slips had they been accurate. Probably for the best that I can't recall specific examples right now.

And don't get me started on what it's like learning to speak a foreign language. My teachers love to use recordings, but unless I've got text to read along, it can sound like gibberish even when I know every single word being used.

When I was in elementary school, one of the things that kind of threw my teachers off was that, when they would turn to write on the board while lecturing, I would run up in front of them on the justification that I couldn't hear them when their backs were turned.

I think I caused a few interesting parent-teacher conferences due to my antics back then. Funnily enough, none of them were due to actual misbehavior. I just don't think any of them had a real idea of what to do with me.

>>945373945373 .>>945011945011 Fanaticism works well, that fits Snowflake perfectly. With the Delusion thing, Clover sees reality, and then seems to make herself perceive the exact opposite. She's aware of reality, but lies to herself about it in her very next thought. Although, I suppose she's not completely ignorant of reality, it just doesn't suit her to accept it. Perhaps something else, but I can't think of what that would be.

>>945636945636

She's not really supposed to be lying so much as joking.  She doesn't hide from the truth, she simply twists it through sarcasm until it's something funny rather than depressing, but she never really goes so far as to delude herself into thinking that the joke is reality.  The only possible delusion she's under is that nothing she can do could ever change her lot in life, though she has years of misfortunes compiling on top of each other to back her up in that belief.

>>944930944930

Twilight is definitely Obsession.

>>945678945678 So... fatalism then?

I passed over an Anthropolgy update to read this first.

The line   "yYeEaAhH?!?" validated my choice completely.  Snowflake.  An inspired selection for you and Twilight both.

"Wait, the mare was still talking."

Someone chisel me a headstone, I'm dying here!  

>>945810945810

Wow, you gave my humble story priority over a big name like Anthropology?  I'm honored beyond mere words.  Though you should be careful about quoting stuff before requesting a headstone, lest you end up with those same words as your epitaph.

>>945683945683 >>945775945775

Obsession, doesn't sound half bad for Twilight.

Fatalism is a lot closer to Clover than Delusion, though I must say she'd have to be the down right most cheerfull fatalist ever.

>>945678945678 Ah, I see. I'll try to think of something that fits, anyway.

>>945683945683 Of course! And it goes beyond the Lunaverse, as well, being Twilight.

Yay! Another update! This one came pretty quickly, too. And I like Snowflake, he's silly. Reminds me of...someone...I can't quite place who. I think it's Schwarzwälder from "A Slice of Life."

>>945810945810

I actually stopped reading "Anthropology"...I lost interst in it about halfway through, when she becomes human and reaches Earth.

Uh, spoiler, I guess. But Lyra just sort of became bland after that, and I know Discord has shown up, but he's been kind of bland so far, too. Eh, I dunno, the story I'm reading isn't the story that we started with. "Anthropology" should probably have ended with her arriving on Earth and being confused by the Geico sign.

You know, something occurred to me recently that might provide some insight into L!Twi's personality if it's true.  I don't keep an eye on the Lunaverse forums, so for all I know this has already been brought up, but, as far as we know, the lunaverse versions of the mane 6 (The normal mane 6 I mean, not the lunaverse 6) still have the same basic cutie mark stories, right?  Meaning that the Sonic Rainboom still happened....meaning that Twilight's entrance exam presumably went the way it did in cannon.  

With that in mind, it begs the question: What happened then?  In the mane!verse, Twi's magical rampage was only calmed by Celestia stepped in.  I'm guessing Luna probably wasn't directly involved here, or Twi'd still be in the same position she is in cannon (unless Trixie was already Luna's apprentice by then, in which case I doubt she would have been petty enough to just kick her aside in favor of Twilight).  So how long did she go on transfiguring and otherwise zapping everything in this verse?  Maybe the reason Luna!Twi is a bit more off her rockers(aside from the lack of friends thing) is that she's got the added trauma of having gone on an uncontrolled magic outburst as a little filly, and part of her reasons for wanting to know everything about magic, including doing making some thefts to get a hold of rare tomes, is because she is afraid (maybe subconsciously if she's either repressing the memory or had it erased by whoever DID stop her) of it happening again, and obsessively seeks magical knowledge to make sure it never happens again.

>>945833945833

Seeing as I haven't yet made the time to even start Anthropology, I could be upset about that unmarked spoiler, than again, it's my own fault for not getting around to it in a more timely faction.  I'll probably still eventually get around to reading it myself, but given how many chapters it has I certainly wouldn't be surprised that your assessment that it dragged on too long was true.

Then of course you have go and bring up A Slice of Life as well, yet another fic I need to find the time for.  Seriously, sometimes I think I just need to take a week off, go completely dark, and just binge read.

>>946293946293

Some interesting ideas there, but probably more in depth than I'll be addressing in this fic.  If you really want to discuss the topic though, you should consider visiting the boards and asking there.  The thread titled Familiar Faces in Unfamiliar Places would be a good place to start.

Why do I have the feeling that a hearing aid would solve about 75-80% of Snowflake's problems? Anyway, this is just... I love it. Man, the Elements are coming together! Sucks for the rest of Equestria/Twilight, though.

Still a little confusing as the Dash being there with Raindrops. What is Snowflake, the Element of Loyalty but Twilight mistook him for Honesty?

>>945826945826   I do appear to be turning into quite the Lunnaverse fan-poodle, so my judgement should probably not be considered entirely sound.

But, hooray for positive reinforcement!  Just trying to repay some of the hedonic debt I'm incurring.

>>945833945833  Skirting the shoals of spoiler reef again, but I have to agree that the greater part of the tension did seem to evaporate at about that stage. Actually, I was getting worried that I was losing the ability to sympathise with bipedal characters!  

I can't complain too hard, it's not like I have the guts to write anything.

Man, Twilight really missed the point with this one.....

You know, deep down, I feel so sorry for the hell Twilight is gonna put them through....

So, as far as named elements of insanity go, we have obsession, fanaticism, double think, and baggage, and assuming we have the mane 6 as a model, we're out a futility and self absorbency. I have it right, right?

>>946990946990

That's the idea.  When I finish it, Silverstar's profile will be the same, only in reverse.  This has always been my intent, note that both their chapter sub-titled after the song line associated with the opposite line for the element they've been selected for.

>>947806947806

I used to think I'd never have the guts to actually publish anything either, then I did.  Though I was still as nervous as Dash before the Best Young Fliers Competion while I waited to see what the responce would be.

Image: http://i1162.photobucket.com/albums/q531/ADemonicPresence/42848_-_Hubble_animated_cowering_rainbow_dash_shaking.gif

...and to be perfectly honest not all that much has changed.  I'm still nervous as hell every time I hit that submit/publish button.  Part of me is always convinced that everything I just wrote, or have ever written, is contemptible garbage and that whatever newest chapter I just finished will be the one that finally proves it to everyone else.

>>950639950639

You and me both.

>>954231954231

I don't know, I could sort of see Clover as a futility.  She certainly doesn't feel as though anything she could possibly do might change her own life, or even have much lasting impact on the world beyond making a few ungrateful ponies feel better about how there lives are less miserable than her own.

Apologies for taking so long... I have been having some issues of late.

Another excellent chapter, and I've sent what little needed fixing your way via PM.

It'll be interesting to see some token rich pone, perhaps Fancy Pants or Filthy Rich, as Generosity. But then, you've already shown you aren't averse to using OCs, so speculation is purely mental exercise.

I honestly can't think of any particular background pony/single ep pony that fits Kindness, but then, I don't really pay much attention to such things.

>>957679957679

No problems with the lateness isue.  I'm more than grateful for all the efforts you so graciously donate to me.  I'll be getting around to those fixes shortly.

As for speculation, it's not useless.  Clover was an OC, but I believe I said in my opening comment for that chapter that she'll be the only one.  Also, even there she only ended up so because I previously dismissed 3 different actual background ponies, and one could say that she's basically a mix of 2 of those rejects.

That said, guessing correctly would probably still be pretty difficult.  Both remaining recruits are 100% official background/single-episode ponies (one of each to be precise), but they also have little enough useful canon or even fanon built up around them that by the time I'm through they might as well be OCs.  The same though could really be said of my Silverstar (not to mention RDDs Raindrops), so hopefully it will all turn out well enough in the end.

>>958877958877

Mental exercise is never useless, my dear. But unfortunately, while I've watched through both seasons twice (with certain episodes like Luna Eclipsed getting a few extra watches), for the most part I couldn't name more than three background ponies on sight. Though, with my delving deeper and deeper into the world of fanfic, that is slowly but surely changing.

I mean, hell, even in the Luna Six, I have some trouble. Someone would have to point out Raindrops or Carrot Top to me. And the only reason I can identify Cloudkicker is an offhand remark made in the comments of one of the other stories I follow...

I am not a clever brony...

>>954299954299  Yeah, I get jumpy enough just posting comments, I don't think I handle the the terror of putting up a story.  I have had a terrible idea about Lunaversing (is that a verb now?) "Owl's Well That Ends Well" by swapping out Spike for Pokey and Owlowiscious for a very deliberately trolling rat, a' la Tom and Jerry era cartooons, but I don't know how I'd project the pure SWAG that Pokey - - - - -

Hold the phone.

Have you been updating the cutie marks on the cover art as you've been going?

<sound of head falling off>

Ahhh, nuts.  Just gimme a sec.