• Member Since 30th Jan, 2012
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RainbowDoubleDash


“If the youth are not initiated into the tribe, they will burn down the village, just to feel its warmth.” — African proverb

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The now-famous first story of the Lunaverse!

This is the story of Trixie, the Element of Magic and the personal student of Princess Luna. It has been some months since this unicorn moved to Ponyville to learn about the magic of friendship, and, more specifically, how to not let her abrasive personality drive away the friends she does make. So far, she has succeeded, becoming a welcome part of Ponyville life, and as such has decided to put on a magic show for Ponyville during the Eventime festival, the celebration of the spring equinox.

However, a certain purple-coated unicorn seems determined to ruin her fun, and everypony elses'. This unicorn has traveled far to learn as much about magic as she can, and was excited to learn at the hooves of the Element of Magic herself. What she finds in Ponyville, however, leaves this purple-coated unicorn...disappointed. She resolves to take drastic steps to show Trixie what real magic is all about!

...this could end poorly.

Now has A TVTropes Page!

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 387 )

Shes jealous, its about time the great and powerful trixie got some respect.
YOU SUCK TWILIGHT!

Aww, it looks like Twilight was just expecting some advanced magic during the show and was disappointed enough to yell about it out loud. She wasn't a real heckler. Probably didn't realize people would hear her over the crowd. :twilightsheepish:

So this is an alternate universe where the mane cast are one-episode villains and background ponies? Is Applejack going to cheat the Flim Flam brothers? Fluttershy abusing poor, innocent cockatrices? Well, I guess this story is mostly about trixie. :trixieshiftright:

I find this amazing and wishing for the next chapter. :heart:

267172
It's a universe where Luna is princess and Trixie her student. The mane six (that is, the ones from the TV show) are all around and in mostly the same situations, but don't necessarily know each other very well, if at all (Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy definitely know each other, and Pinkie Pie knows everyone, but otherwise I don't think they know each other except peripherally). Further, their negative personality traits have been enhanced just a little bit - not a lot, none of them are *bad* ponies per se, but enough so that if I wanted to, I could make them antagonists.

The *new* six were chosen mostly from background ponies; Trixie was reversed with Twilight mostly because I liked the idea, but from there I just followed the "two of each race" rule. Which, by the way, was *very* hard for the pegasi. Apart from Ditzy Doo, we don't know too many background pegasi characters.

Oh, and there is no Spike equivalent. Twilight got a different entrance test which she passed with flying colors, while Trixie had a completely different experience that brought her under Luna's wings.

A nice diversion from your other works. I'll be looking forward to this updating.

Wonder how a Twilight that has had to study without Celestia's guidance will turn out. She seems to be a little more prideful this time around.

I'm glad you skipped over the rise of Corona and such. I can only read slightly altered events of the forming of the elements so many times before it gets tiring. I'm sure most of us can fill in the blanks in our sleep by now. Instead, we skip to the good parts!

Crazy premise! Good luck making up interesting personalities for your new mane 6! It seems like it might have been easier just to pair Trixie with the originals so you would have some established personalities for her to play off.

So what would the others be doing in a world where Twilight was not the living spirit of the Element of Magic? Before Twilight Sparkle arrived in Ponyville: Fluttershy and Rarity were friends (spa buddies at least), Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were friends, Applejack and Rarity were somewhat hostile to one another, Pinkie was known to all on friendly terms, Applejack and Rainbow Dash were friendly rivals, but not necessarily friends. Rainbow Dash and Rarity may or may not have been friends, but I suspect that they were, since Rainbow Dash secretly always wants to dress in style :rainbowlaugh:, and she has randomly been seen modeling for Rarity or entering the boutique without the others in tow. Fluttershy and Applejack probably barely knew each other, if at all.

troll.me/images/omg-rage-face/what-sorcery-is-this.jpg


Тнз ѕюгсєгу юf аlтєгиатз цпіvεяѕзѕ.

i245.photobucket.com/albums/gg78/evalana/blog%202/mlpfim_ep3574.png


What type of sick twisted alternate dimension have I entered in anyway? :rainbowhuh:

I mean Trixie....a hero with friends ?!? :trixieshiftright:

Rainbow Dash isn't the element of Loyalty...and a hint of Lyra with HUMAN HANDS ?!? :rainbowderp:

What's next a crazy Pinkie PIe ? :pinkiecrazy:

A mean Fluttershy ? :flutterrage:

Honestly this is some twisted alternated dimension we're in....and I LOVE IT.

Please do keep up the good work upon such a great idea like this one as it's off to a good start. :twilightsmile:

Well written and very enjoyable, nice role reversal, I look forard to reading more.:pinkiesmile:

I really like the idea of Lyra not being entirely sure about liking humans. Kind of a nice parallel to bronies and stuff. Your alternate element choices are all great.

The story as a whole is pretty great, it reads quite a bit like an episode.

fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/345/f/a/the_great_and_powerful_trixie_approved_by_ambris-d4ivli5.png

I just wanted an excuse to use that :twilightsheepish: But seriously, I'm liking this alternate universe a lot; looking forward to seeing more of it.

This... goddamn you, this is wonderful.

HHHHhmmmmmm......an interesting start to things. I'm intrigued.

Sometimes you find utter gems while browsing on Fimfiction. :twilightsmile: Good start, can't wait for more. I'm not usually one for AU stories but I think I'm going to love this one (and not just 'cause I'm a total Trixie fangirl. :heart:)

I love these kinds of stories that turn everything we think we know upside-down. I started to write one myself, then got sidetracked onto other things. Thanks for taking up the challenge -- and doing it well, from what I've seen thus far!

peterbrown.tv/dukehogg.JPG
What in the hell happened to the elements of harmony?

Liking this a lot. Twilight... don't be a neigh-sayer. Honestly, when Dash does that in Boast Busters I legit cringe. Always love a good Trixie tale, and you've got me hooked!

Now, this sounds like an awesome premise and I want to read it, but for some reason this is not loading. Will definitely try again later.

This is looking great thus far, you seem to be making a great effort, and it looks pretty good :pinkiehappy:

I really like where this is going! I can definitely see that Trixie would have turned out much better if she had the right friends, whereas Twilight would remain her abrasive, reclusive self.

Ah, the position swap. My personal favorite kind of alternate universe when do properly, as here. I'm looking forward to seeing how the new 6 interact, how Derpy's being a mom affects the dynamics, and what Twilight Sparkle is like without even Spike to call a friend.

I'm hoping for a Discord chapter somewhere down the line.

268767 You said OMG quite a lot in that comment sir. Good day.:moustache:

267221 hmmm, I buy this, I always saw luna as being better with illusion

269072
Well Trixie IS a show-mare. Illusions ARE probably her specialty in-show. So it would fit. But then, I haven't read the fic yet, so I don't know if I'm missing anything.

.268767
But on the other hand, if he changed too much, people call him out on trashing canon. Alternate Universe writers walk a rather thin line.

268767 Hmmm, well I see your point DH, but give the author a little lead time here. We only have 4500 words with which to judge his universe, all we know so far is Trixie had a mentor and found friends in Ponyville. We don't know much about what Luna taught, or how "Corona" she spent her thousand years on... the sun? I'd be interested to hear how she grew jealous of the nighttime.... :facehoof: If this were a complete work I would say yes, you are correct. This seems to happen in a lot of alternate universe stories, the universe just seems to force people into certain roles. "Everything is different, but the same." The differences can make for interesting reading though.

Interesting premise . . . I'll see where this goes.

now this.... THIS IS AN ULTIMATE SUPER DUPER OUT OF THIS WORLD>...... tweest... good job mate :raritywink:

I like this bizarro universe so far! Please tell me the Flim Flam brothers are a pair of local and successful inventors! Please! I'm begging you!

This is without a doubt one of the most unique stories I have had the pleasure of reading. Even if it isn't finished yet. Still switching the roles of everypony very clever.

269328
Off the top of my head, I can't think of a fic that switched *everything* around. Usually it's just "Luna's in charge, but Twilight is still her student," or "Trixie's Celestia's student, but still hangs out with the rest of the usual gang." Trying to write a universe where everyone was different but we still kept the same basic premise of "six ponies, one good princess, one bad princess" was the major impetus to write this.

269338 It's a fun concept to mess with and this is actually the only fanfic I've read that has switched anything like that. I eagerly wait for the next chapter :twilightsmile:

268767

Device Heretic goes to town on an innocent little fanfic! :rainbowlaugh:

I haven't actually read this, but I had essentially the same comment earlier regarding using the original Elements. All of the rest of your criticisms are similarly valid, I'm sure. I'm just surprised that you would show up to whale on this guy's story! I suppose I should get around to reading "Eternal" before you get hacked again! :twilightoops:

I guess the best medicine is often a bitter pill to swallow. Now, I suppose I'll read this to see if I am as outraged as DH. Here we go! :rainbowdetermined2:

So, Device Heretic was right - you should have kept Trixie the insufferable narcissist that we all know and love/loathe, because your OC Trixie is just not that much fun. I won't lapse into histrionics, though, because this is really not bad. You're a solid writer, and you understand dialogue and characterization. I can even get on board with your substitute Elements, because I believe you may just do them justice.

The Sweet and Heartwarming Trixie is not nearly as much as the G&P T, though! :trixieshiftleft:

Now you should go leave an outraged rant on Eternal (anything with a 37,000 word, multipart chapter has to have something to tear apart! :trollestia:) or Flight of the Alicorn (be gentle, I just want to be loved! :raritycry:)

269481
Eh, I'm not one for outraged rants. If I find myself not liking a story, I just don't comment on it at all.

I'm cruel like that.

EDIT:
...GAH! I just realized this story is being featured! What the Hell?!

I'm not complaining, it's just something of a shock to suddenly realize...

Is this going to end up in a cat fight?

269365
As he mentioned before to DH, this is only the first chapter, give it some time, let it grow.

This now this is fun to read. each charcter is diffrent from Our Mane 6 instead of being copy paste. this will be an awesome read tracked.

When I read Celestia's evil name was Corona all I could think about was cheap Mexican beer.

So this looks good, and FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY EXISTENCE I FIND MYSELF NOT HATING TRIXIE. HOW THE FUCK DID YOU ACHIEVE THAT???!!! :pinkiegasp:

This is a good story with an absolute buckload of potential. I am SO going to track this fic. permanently, unless something REALLY stupid happens to break this, which so far seems to be relatively impossible. So good job on that, and Happy Writing!

Also, if you ever find yourself in the mood AFTER THIS FIC, could you write a "Mare in the Moon" revision based on this, for those fans who want to read it (e.g. me)? You don't have to, but I find I want to see what happend AT THE START of this adventure.
Thanks!

269842
It's Latin (Greek? Whatever) for "crown." It's also the "atmosphere" of the sun or another celestial object, most easily seen durring a total lunar eclipse:

upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/1c/Solar_eclipse_1999_4_NR.jpg/244px-Solar_eclipse_1999_4_NR.jpg

Hooray for metaphors! :pinkiehappy: Celestia didn't strike me as a "two word punny name" kind of pony if she were to turn evil, which is good because for the life of me I couldn't think of anything.

269923
I might do a "Mare in the Moon" write-up, if only to more firmly establish characters. I have a crazy plan in my head concerning this universe, provided I can stick the landing for this short story.

Yea, I read Twilight as more being angry at Trixie putting on airs while seemingly being fairly mediocre at magic.

Tribalist, ouch...

Wow even when Trixie arent an ass shes an ass.

270387
She's still fundamentally Trixie, otherwise there wouldn't of been much of a point of using Trixie and not some OC.

I enjoyed this chapter, and actually chuckled at the "Element of Jealousy" comment. Your dialogue is snappy, you've given Raindrops and Carrot Top believable and unique personalities, and in general you've restored my faith in this story. All I can do now is hope Trixie's "apology" goes as poorly as I expect it will. :twilightangry2: :trixieshiftleft:

Ditzy Doo is pretty bland, of course, but then again so is Fluttershy. What is one supposed to do with the Element of Kindness, anyway? I mean seriously, you can't even work with that. :moustache:

Now for the fixes: "Twilight and me" should be "Twilight and I," or even better "Twilight and Trixie" (really, she's just not the same without referring to herself in the third person, and isn't Twilight supposed to bringing out the worst in her?)

You have a lot of extraneous adverbs and speech attribution tags.

Best things: Element of Jealousy; Raindrops melee pony; bigotwilight. I also liked the idea that Trixie is an utter weirdo in a lot of her personal habits, not just her strange diet. If you can give her a few more fun quirks I think you'll really have made her your own.

Good job.

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