• Member Since 11th May, 2012
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Emeral Bookwise


A lonely pony amidst the darkness, ever longing for companions to share the night with.

E
Source

This story is a sequel to Crisis on Two Equestrias


Twilight Sparkle has been many things. The most promising magical student of her generation, a fugitive from the law, a lost stranger in a world not her own, and briefly – master of her own destiny. When presented with an opportunity to claim everything she had always wanted though, she chose instead to give it all back to the pony that had rightly earned it in the first place, and in so doing forever resigning herself to the consequences of her own crimes.

They say the journey of a thousand miles begins with but a single step, and that it is always the first one that is hardest. Sometimes though, the last step can be just as hard, and now Twilight must find within herself the strength to take it.

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-- A story set in RainbowDoubleDash's Lunaverse and following from the events at the end of Crisis on Two Equestrias.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 37 )

I see no problems (well, a spelling mistake or punctuation mistake here or there, but whatever). Only thing is that it follows a bit too directly from Crisis; the pre-readers probably wouldn't let it through as a story under its own merits. If you like, though, I can add it as an epilogue to Crisis.

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They might let it through since I'm a separate author writing a derivative work based off of yours. Which is likewise what my "lost" chapter of Boast Busted is, or Blackbelt's After the Night was to LNLD, or Lev's addendum fic to AtGGG.

Anyway I'll give it a second (and maybe third) once over to get the grammar and punctuation as good as I can, and then try submitting it later today. We'll keep adding it onto the actual CO2E as the backup plan.

3028107
I think it might be just as well to keep the exact details of her trial and sentencing vague. There's really not much story to tell with her from this point forward until she shows up in that inevitable S2 fic -- there was barely even a story here.

Man, there was a moment there where I thought she might actually run away again. Good show Emeral.

The shades of Shinji Ikari I saw at the end of Crisis have become what almost seems like a full-fledged homage. Seriously, there's only so many times I can hear a variation on "I mustn't run away" before the comparison becomes inevitable. At least Twilight's father isn't forcing her to pilot a giant alien cyborg powered by her mother's soul. Not in this universe, anyway.

Anyway, NGE comparisons aside, this is a great character piece for Lunaverse Twilight, displaying her character growth for all to see. Well done. :twilightsmile:

3028268

At least Twilight's father isn't forcing her to pilot a giant alien cyborg powered by her mother's soul. Not in this universe, anyway.

...or not yet at least. :rainbowderp:

The void between worlds is a strange place, paradoxically filled both with every sight, sound, sent, taste, and other sensation possibly imaginable –

Bolded should be "scent."

The void between worlds is a strange place, paradoxically filled both with every sight, sound, scent, taste, and other sensation possibly imaginable –plus more still that are beyond comprehension–

Uh oh.
That means... that they're all gonna turn into giant newts and have freaky giant newt babies.

Nice little ficlet. Feels a little short though, kinda wish some more stuff would happen, not the full trial, but at least Twilight getting to reunite with her family.


3028603 THE HORROR! THE HORROR!!! :raritydespair:

3028630
Not only do we need to see Twilight reunite with her family, we also need to see her try to get Night Light to make peace with Trixie. After all, I don't think that she wants the events of "At the Grand Galloping Gala" on her conscience.

surrounding aria seemed to pay her arrival any mind,

The opera singer is going to be pissed she messed up her solo :derpytongue2:.

Anyway other then that looks like this will be pretty interesting. Thanks a lot for sharing it. It will be interesting indeed to see how Twilight deals with all this. How long are you planning on making this and how detailed though? Are we going to see all the way to her getting established in Ponyville? Trying to know the Elements that were her friends in the other world only for them to reject her? Or not be quite the same? Or is this just going to be the court case and such? Regardless, will be interesting to see!

3028298

Clearly you fellows haven't read "MLP Time Loops".

As for the story... feels more like an epilogue than a story of its own. It brings a little closure, but not much more than the ending to Crisis did. Assuming that Twilight knows what her sentence will be (as Luna seemed to convey before they left), I can't really see her urge to run away to be that strong anymore. It's not a bad story, it just... doesn't add anything. I could easily see this as a flashback scene in another S2 story, though.

3028983
Night Light already reconciled with Trixie (mostly at least) in AtGGG:Ch11, after a little prompting from Ditzy.

3029446
L!Twi left through the portal before M!Twi spoke with Luna about what kind of sentence to pass on her doppelganger.

Otherwise though, you are correct that this fic is more of an epilogue than a standalone fic, and that's all I ever intended it to be -- a brief little character piece. It was L!Twi's mental break down that really sold me on the Lunaverse as a setting because it was just such a brilliant echo to the events Lesson Zero creating a Twilight that was both familiar and foreign all at the same time. So I guess I just felt like giving crazy Twilight one final tribute before S2 moves her to the next phase of her life.

3028630 3029324
Well, as stated above, this was always meant to be nothing more than this lone singular chapter. I'm not even sure how I could write the Twilight's reunion with her family, at least not without it being blandly trite and predictable. It might offer further closure, but I don't think it would advance Twilight's personal character arc in any interesting way. Know one needs me to write something along the lines of they all hugged as tears streamed down there faces while say how much they loved each other, and I think any attempt on my part would only be a disservice true emotion of what such a scene should entail. To me it's a scene that will always be better in our imaginations than anything written out in exhaustive detail.

That said. While I never had any plans to write anything more than what I did here, on further consideration I ~maybe~ have an idea for some kind of further follow up. Then again I really would prefer to focus my efforts on finishing up Elements of Insanity and getting start on Sergeant at Hooves. Especial as any follow up to this fic would likely by necessity contain spoilers to the former of those two fics. Then again, I'm not sure how much longer it will take me to actually finish EoI so spoiling it might be the most efficient way to get the bulk of the loose ends tied up before S2 kicks into full gear.

I don't know though... all I can say is I'll think about it, but no promises either way.

3028268

Oh sure, it's all fine and dandy in the Lunaverse now. But just wait until Twilight decides to turn us all into orange drank and Giant Fluttershy explodes on the moon.

3031063
Who let you in on all our secret notes for Lunaverse season 7? :derpytongue2:

Time to come out of my little corner and be an asshat.:fluttershyouch:
I just don't see why this story was even necessary. It just drags out an issue that was already resolved in Crisis. While it does stand to reason that saying you are gonna turn yourself in, and actually doing it are two different things, there really wasn't any reason to actually show it. It would have been different if she actually HAD run off again, only to stop herself shortly afterwards, but THAT would have undermined her character development in Crisis, which would have been worse.

Okay, I am done. I'll go back to my corner now.

3033350
That's fair enough. I mean, you are absolutely right that this is just an extend bout of angst that drags out the resolution of Twilight's arc from Co2E, but at only 1,382 words I don't think it is overly gratuitous in doing so, and most importantly doesn't actually undercut it since she holds firm in resolve. Yes, ultimately this is a story that in the strictest terms didn't NEED to happen, but I'd like to think it is still harmless in the end and that while it might not add to Twilight's character growth, it still serves as a demonstration of it.

If you don't like it, that's fine though, and I'm sorry if you felt like it wasted your time. I appreciate your criticism every bit as much as the praise others have given me. So don't feel like you're any kind of ass for speaking your mind.

3033435
Well, I wouldn't say it's a complete waste of time. My issue was with the nature of the story, but certainly there was no flaw in the writing. The characterization is spot on, and admittedly it stands to reason that Twilight would be having some second thoughts once it came time to pony up as it were, even if they were relatively minor, and suppressed. It mostly just seemed, unnecessary, but nothing downvote worthy. :twilightsheepish:

3042498

It mostly just seemed, unnecessary, but nothing downvote worthy.

That is both refreshing and indirectly disappointing.

I mean I'm glad you didn't find this fic offensive or anything; yours is an opinion that I generally respect. Still though, I've got four downvotes on this fic, so it was kind of nice when I thought I knew why one of those existed.

Oh well, haters gonna hate and I try to not concern myself with those who won't explain their reasons. Besides those 58 upvotes more than offset my few detractors. :twilightsheepish:

3042656
I am VERY stingy with my downvotes, and I only give them when I feel that something has gone VERY wrong with the story. I try not to give them out if the problem is largely a personal one, (which is the case here.) though admittedly, I am very free with my upvotes. (Funny really, I upvote if I like a story, not necessarily if I think it's an amazing piece of literature. I know that those two concepts are not wholly mutually inclusive. However, I only downvote if I think the story is very badly written, but not if I personally did not like the story. Go figure.) In any case on those few occasions i DO downvote, I make sure to leave a comment explaining why. (Which is probably why I am more picky with downvotes than upvotes.)

3042656
Huh.
I was about to go check my favorites, and I noticed that the downvote button was colored.
I don't recall hitting the downvote button, and I shouldn't have because of the reasons detailed in the previous post.

Regardless, that would, in fact, explain where one of the 4 downvotes came from. (I was kinda cranky yesterday, I guess.) In anycase, I have fixed that mistake. (I would rather it have an upvote when I didn't overly care that much, than I downvote I don't think it deserves.)

3042811
Why thank you, in both regards. :twilightsmile:

Certainly none of the ponies in the surrounding aria seemed to pay her arrival any mind, going about their ordinary daily routines undisturbed, headless of the lavender unicorn that but mere moments before hadn't been there.

Area, heedless
(But I did get the funny image of a bunch of headless horses milling about town....)

So very, very tiered... and all I want to do is see my family one last time before I have to serve out my debt to society."

Tired
(And here I got the image of a multi-tiered unicorn...whatever that means...)

Besides that... Very good! I lovelovelove L!Twilight, and I am glad to see this happen:twilightsmile:

3049673
TY for the corrections. Also, always good to hear from a fellow L!Twi fan.

Ostensibly my favorite pony in the Lunaverse is supposed to be Raindrops, but it was still the presentation of Twilight that truly sold me on the whole idea of this setting as a viable AU. Which could be why this is the third fic I've written with her as a main character... well, that and I find it very easy to put myself in her headspace, which might suggest unfortunate implications about my own state of mind. :twilightoops:

3049819
Raindrops is pretty awesome here. She might be my favorite. I kinda connect with CT, but her "wet" personality is just too fun! :pinkiehappy: I wish there was more of Happy!Raindrops, but that would cheapen the switch:raritycry:

Hey, so I finally read this, and I think it was fairly interesting. A nice little addition to Crisis, doesn't work against it, compliments it well. Should have read it a week ago :twilightsheepish:

3092919

Should have read it a week ago

I know that feeling all to well myself. :twilightsheepish:

Anyway glad it worked for you as intended, as yeah, it is just quickie little extension and mostly just meant as a sort of final tribute/send-off to crazy L!Twi.

3092954 At least it didn't take me five months, which has happened far too many times :trollestia:

Well, yeah, it worked pretty well. So great job! :twilightsmile:

I got sent here from "Magic Tutor". In that story, I kind of wondered why she didn't just go to visit her family and then turn herself in, or let herself get arrested on the way home if that's what happened. In the original, I can see better how terrified she was of losing her nerve. Good story.

A few nitpicks:
peels of lighting
Bananas peel, lightning (or rather thunder) peals.

in her bed the she might
This should either be "then" or be deleted.

didn't quite here that
hear

screamed once more in vein
"in vain", if you mean futilely. If you mean "in the same way it had already been doing", then I think "in that vein" or "in the same vein" would be better.

3159118
I'm always happy to get corrections, so TY. :twilightsmile:

Good epilogue to Crisis. A good... finality, for lack of a better word.

3248224
Thanks... I think? :applejackunsure:

...or rather that is to say, after some of the harsh words we exchanged recently, I guess I wasn't expecting to hear anything like that from you.

3248243 I can still compliment good work. :scootangel:

A bit on the short side, but a rather decent short fic nonetheless.

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