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After the disastrous events of the Grand Galloping Gala, Greengrass finds himself in his private sanctuary. Alone except for his thoughts, he wonders who he had miscalculated and where the game went wrong. More importantly though, he wonders how he had ended up saying four words that he'd thought he'd never say about The Game and all it's glory.

A Lunaverse Story.

First Published
15th May 2013
Last Modified
15th May 2013
#1 · 82w, 4d ago · 3 · ·

Interesting, but a few noteworthy problems:

1)  The internal monologue.  When used incorrectly, this tool becomes an author self-insert who then proceeds to tell the character exactly what they should be thinking, as opposed to the character reaching anything on his own.  This is an example of it being used incorrectly.  

2)  Notary's defense of Greengrass.  It's fine when she begins her exposition, but as it goes on she sounds unrealistically naive.  I admit I don't know much about her, as this is the first Greengrass POV fic that I've read.  But I know she's closely involved with his schemes, and has filled the role of observer and spy.  Surely she must know that both Greengrass and herself have made the lives of other people miserable.  That's not to say she would take a different course of action and abandon Greengrass, as her loyalty is something that I can buy into.  But that the narrative doesn't acknowledge the illicit activity that they partook in feels like a huge hole in the plot.  

3)  That final sentence.  The biggest complaint I had about Greengrass at the end Grand Galloping Gala story arc was how suddenly he became obsessed with the metaphor of a game.  This 180 degree turn feels even more forced, and is a massive epiphany for this character that should only be reached at the end of the story, if that.

#2 · 82w, 4d ago · · ·

>>2598666

1. I do sometimes have a problem with handing characters epiphanies. In this case, however, I felt the inner monologue to be more a result of the culmination of all his failures involving the L6. That's not to say it might not still be too sudden.

2. Notary has done some shady things for Greengrass and has indeed hurt some ponies. It's impossible to actually do anything without hurting someone somewhere when dealing with the massive changes politics handles. Her duty is to help him help others. This includes possibly hurting others so his plans can take effect and help others and it includes reminding him he's in this mess because he was focusing too much on helping himself over others. This speech is more of a calculated move on her part to make sure he doesn't dig his own grave.

3. This is a fault of the wording. I chose the final sentence trying to cut off a 180 change. With "not always being a game" referring to it mostly still being a game, but having to learn where to stop and be serious.

#3 · 82w, 3d ago · · ·

I thoroughly enjoyed this webisode. While the Gala wrapped up a lot of things quite nicely (and is one of my favorite L!verse stories despite what others say about it), it touched upon far too many characters that deserve a bit of follow up. I believe this one serves Greengrass and Notary nicely, well done :pinkiehappy:

#4 · 82w, 17m ago · 5 · ·

I'll wait for a group decision on where to place this in the canon. For the record, though, I'm leaning fully canon.

#5 · 81w, 6d ago · 1 · 1 ·

Very nice. Greengrass is still a capable pony. I hope Luna will recruit him and use him to weed out her garden.

I wonder how the new dames will react when they find out that Greengrass is now on their side. :trixieshiftright:

#6 · 81w, 6d ago · · ·

I'm leaning to canon as well for this. Heavily leaning. *Falls over* Ouch! :raritywink:

#7 · 81w, 6d ago · · ·

As I said back in the forms, I love love love this!  It feels like it gives some closure to Greengrass that was sadly missing from the Gala.  This is already canon in my mind and I sure hope it becomes official!

#8 · 81w, 6d ago · · ·

>>2620580

When/where is that conversation going to happen anyways? Is there going to be some magical meeting of the ents like in Lord of the Rings to decide on where it goes, or is just casually brought up until a conscensus is reached like it seems to have been so far, or are you sneakily sending spy couriers around to get everyone's opinion?

Are you a spy?!? :rainbowdetermined2:

#9 · 81w, 6d ago · · ·

>>2623755

If I was a spy, would I tell you that I was a spy? If I said I was a spy, could you trust that I was a spy? How good of a spy would I be if I went around advertising the fact?

No, actually, I think it'd be best if you brought it up, and we'll see the reaction from there. Right now I'm pretty sure the consensus is canon webisode, though.

#10 · 81w, 6d ago · · ·

Like I said before, I enjoyed reading this; basically scratching an itch that was leftover from GGG and opens some possibilities for the folks among us who like Greengrass and Notary and might want to involve the in future stories.

#11 · 70w, 4d ago · · ·

This is a very interesting examination of Greengrass - a good look into what actually makes him tick, and how badly he's screwed things up this time. It's good to see the possibility of change.

#12 · 68w, 6d ago · 2 · ·

Not sure what to make of this since I cant imagine Luna wanting him to stick around for any reason.  Just have to wait and see I guess.:derpytongue2:

#13 · 68w, 6d ago · 2 · ·

>>3092184

It's supposed to be up to interpretation until the we decide whether or not to redeem Greengrass. Luna could very well want him for something like a personal announcement of his punishment or something. Or at least it should be... I tried to keep it as open as possible.

#14 · 67w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

In my head luna will recruit him, he is the best player there is.

#15 · 48w, 4d ago · · ·

>>3093880

It's supposed to be up to interpretation until the we decide whether or not to redeem Greengrass. Luna could very well want him for something like a personal announcement of his punishment or something. Or at least it should be... I tried to keep it as open as possible.

If we get a closing onto whether he gets the ax, or hired. Would you think of making a sequel to this?

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