• Published 22nd Jun 2012
  • 6,820 Views, 341 Comments

Elements of Insanity - Emeral Bookwise



Lunaverse; Twilight plans to prove herself superior to Trixie by forming her own Elements of Harmony

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Chapter 4: "Big Adventure"

... 298 ...

"YYYYEEE!!!"

... 299 ...

"AAH!!"

... 300 ...

"YEEAAAHHHH!!!!"

Finishing his final bench press, Snowflake deposited the barbell back on its perch as he sat up and gave a self-congratulatory shout of pride. Despite the volume, nopony else in the gym seemed to give it much mind, having long since grown accustomed to the pegasus's exclamations.

He picked up his sports bottle and chugged down nearly half its contents in a few long gulps. He then toweled the beads of sweat from his broad forehead before draping the cloth around his wide neck. Refreshed and relaxed, he then made an energetic canter over to the mirror on the other side of the large room.

A few patrons paused in their exercises to stare at the sight of the grown, and exceptionally buff pegasus stallion, prancing about like a schoolfilly. Snowflake didn't care; he was used to such jealousy. With a bod as sexy as his, who wouldn't stare? That it was more so his behavior that caught their attention never crossed his mind.

As he approached the mirror he slowed to admire the handsome stallion that appeared before him: glistening white coat heavy with hard earned perspiration and a short trimmed dark blond mane. Growing up there had always been foals who would tease him about those colors for some reason or another, something about some old nag of a crone that lived in the sun.

That wasn't important though, the colors were just the wrapping that held the gift that was his flawless physique: a chiseled barrel, swelled shoulders, rippling flank, and solid haunches. His cannons were lean, but that was intentional, to preserve agility.

He flexed as he watched the Snowflake in the mirror strike a sequence of poses.

"YYEEEEAHHH!!"

Bodybuilding certainly hadn't been his first dream in life. No, like most young pegasi he had dreamed of growing up to be a Wonderbolt, but the coaches at summer flight camp quickly squashed that hope, telling him how his stubby wings would never be suited for such high speed aerobatics. Still, he had wanted to somehow serve his country and follow in his Uncle Marching's hoofsteps, but well, even the royal pegasus guard had agility requirements he couldn't quite match, not back then at least.

Ever determined, young Snowflake had his most brilliant idea ever. If he couldn't do anything to enlarge his wings, then he'd enlarge the rest of himself and get an earth pony commission. The work was brutal and exhausting, but it had more than paid off. Not only did he earn his cutie mark, but now he had a body that even the brawniest earth guard would be jealous of.

Maybe they were too jealous though.

He finally got his shot, but shortly after signing on he was dismissed because of some obviously made up excuse about bad hearing.

First they had tried to keep him out because of small wings, and when that failed they instead tried to say his ears were too small also? Snowflake could take a hint. He didn't know who had it out for him but if the royal guard didn't want him, he'd find another way to serve his country.

And so he started traveling all over Equestria; competing in any athletic event he could and becoming a role model to young colts everywhere, proof of what hard work and determination could accomplish. By far though, his proudest accomplishment was what his old coaches had told him he'd never have, his wingpower. Small as they were, he could muscle out and produce more raw wind speed than any two average pegasi combined.

It was with this inexplicable wingpower that he'd achieved his greatest act of community service, by participating in more water raising tornado teams than any other pegasus in history. Half those teams would have been shy the needed 800 wingpower if he hadn't joined up.

It was training for another one of those events, over in Fillydelphia, that had brought him to the gym today. Well, actually he came to the gym everyday anyway, but he always trained extra hard for tornado season. Now though, it was time to hit the showers, go home, eat a big meal, and rest up so he could train again tomorrow.


As Snowflake stepped out of the gym, he was approached by a skinny unicorn mare with a lavender coat covered by a practical heavy duty cloak.

"Pardon me, but are you Snowflake?"

She must be another adoring fan.

"YYYEAAAAHH!"

She looked startled and nervous, but then again what mare wouldn't be distracted by his awesome bod?

"Um... well, yes then. I've got a proposition I'd like to make to you."

Proposition, did that mean what he thought it meant?

"yYeEaAhH?!?"

As the mare began an overly long explanation, Snowflake quickly realized that no, no it did not. Still, it would be rude to just walk away so he tried to listen closely to the mare, but like most ponies she talked in barely more than a soft mumble. Worse still, she also liked to use big words, and not just medium big words, but reeaaalllllllllyyyyyy big words. Hay, he was pretty sure half those words couldn't even be Equestrian. Between all those factors, Snowflake couldn't really be blamed for getting a bit distracted as he tried to puzzle out what she was getting at.

He managed to make out something about elephants in a symphony; could elephants even play music? Well, he guessed with such large ears they must have pretty good hearing, and maybe they might be able to use those trunks of theirs like trumpets. He'd even once heard that their tusks were supposed to be like pianos, though Snowflake never understood how.

Earlier, she'd introduced herself as Tambourine Secretary, and while her cloak hid her cutie mark, he figured she must be a musician of some kind. Although, since she obviously wasn't some crooning fangirl, he still couldn't figure out what any of this had to do with him.

Wait, the mare was still talking.

She'd gone onto say something about needing him because he was like a monastery or something. Now what could she mean by that? At best guess he figured she must be referring to his brick like muscles. It still seemed like a rather odd comparison; he'd have thought a fortress would work better.

More importantly though, he'd finally figured out what she needed him for. Obviously she wanted to try to hire him to move all that heavy orchestra equipment. Why the elephants weren't enough to get that job done though was a mystery to him, but moving stuff that even a herd of pachyderms was having trouble with sounded like just his kind of challenge.

As he contemplated the boon this could be to his reputation, he almost missed an even more important detail.

"...and save all of Equestria from..."

He wasn't sure how everything that came before added up to that, but Snowflake could think of only one response to such a request.



Author's Note:

• Proof reading by LDLUYAB and Mally