... 298 ...
"YYYYEEE!!!"
... 299 ...
"AAH!!"
... 300 ...
"YEEAAAHHHH!!!!"
Finishing his final bench press, Snowflake deposited the barbell back on its perch as he sat up and gave a self-congratulatory shout of pride. Despite the volume, nopony else in the gym seemed to give it much mind, having long since grown accustomed to the pegasus's exclamations.
He picked up his sports bottle and chugged down nearly half its contents in a few long gulps. He then toweled the beads of sweat from his broad forehead before draping the cloth around his wide neck. Refreshed and relaxed, he then made an energetic canter over to the mirror on the other side of the large room.
A few patrons paused in their exercises to stare at the sight of the grown, and exceptionally buff pegasus stallion, prancing about like a schoolfilly. Snowflake didn't care; he was used to such jealousy. With a bod as sexy as his, who wouldn't stare? That it was more so his behavior that caught their attention never crossed his mind.
As he approached the mirror he slowed to admire the handsome stallion that appeared before him: glistening white coat heavy with hard earned perspiration and a short trimmed dark blond mane. Growing up there had always been foals who would tease him about those colors for some reason or another, something about some old nag of a crone that lived in the sun.
That wasn't important though, the colors were just the wrapping that held the gift that was his flawless physique: a chiseled barrel, swelled shoulders, rippling flank, and solid haunches. His cannons were lean, but that was intentional, to preserve agility.
He flexed as he watched the Snowflake in the mirror strike a sequence of poses.
"YYEEEEAHHH!!"
Bodybuilding certainly hadn't been his first dream in life. No, like most young pegasi he had dreamed of growing up to be a Wonderbolt, but the coaches at summer flight camp quickly squashed that hope, telling him how his stubby wings would never be suited for such high speed aerobatics. Still, he had wanted to somehow serve his country and follow in his Uncle Marching's hoofsteps, but well, even the royal pegasus guard had agility requirements he couldn't quite match, not back then at least.
Ever determined, young Snowflake had his most brilliant idea ever. If he couldn't do anything to enlarge his wings, then he'd enlarge the rest of himself and get an earth pony commission. The work was brutal and exhausting, but it had more than paid off. Not only did he earn his cutie mark, but now he had a body that even the brawniest earth guard would be jealous of.
Maybe they were too jealous though.
He finally got his shot, but shortly after signing on he was dismissed because of some obviously made up excuse about bad hearing.
First they had tried to keep him out because of small wings, and when that failed they instead tried to say his ears were too small also? Snowflake could take a hint. He didn't know who had it out for him but if the royal guard didn't want him, he'd find another way to serve his country.
And so he started traveling all over Equestria; competing in any athletic event he could and becoming a role model to young colts everywhere, proof of what hard work and determination could accomplish. By far though, his proudest accomplishment was what his old coaches had told him he'd never have, his wingpower. Small as they were, he could muscle out and produce more raw wind speed than any two average pegasi combined.
It was with this inexplicable wingpower that he'd achieved his greatest act of community service, by participating in more water raising tornado teams than any other pegasus in history. Half those teams would have been shy the needed 800 wingpower if he hadn't joined up.
It was training for another one of those events, over in Fillydelphia, that had brought him to the gym today. Well, actually he came to the gym everyday anyway, but he always trained extra hard for tornado season. Now though, it was time to hit the showers, go home, eat a big meal, and rest up so he could train again tomorrow.
As Snowflake stepped out of the gym, he was approached by a skinny unicorn mare with a lavender coat covered by a practical heavy duty cloak.
"Pardon me, but are you Snowflake?"
She must be another adoring fan.
"YYYEAAAAHH!"
She looked startled and nervous, but then again what mare wouldn't be distracted by his awesome bod?
"Um... well, yes then. I've got a proposition I'd like to make to you."
Proposition, did that mean what he thought it meant?
"yYeEaAhH?!?"
As the mare began an overly long explanation, Snowflake quickly realized that no, no it did not. Still, it would be rude to just walk away so he tried to listen closely to the mare, but like most ponies she talked in barely more than a soft mumble. Worse still, she also liked to use big words, and not just medium big words, but reeaaalllllllllyyyyyy big words. Hay, he was pretty sure half those words couldn't even be Equestrian. Between all those factors, Snowflake couldn't really be blamed for getting a bit distracted as he tried to puzzle out what she was getting at.
He managed to make out something about elephants in a symphony; could elephants even play music? Well, he guessed with such large ears they must have pretty good hearing, and maybe they might be able to use those trunks of theirs like trumpets. He'd even once heard that their tusks were supposed to be like pianos, though Snowflake never understood how.
Earlier, she'd introduced herself as Tambourine Secretary, and while her cloak hid her cutie mark, he figured she must be a musician of some kind. Although, since she obviously wasn't some crooning fangirl, he still couldn't figure out what any of this had to do with him.
Wait, the mare was still talking.
She'd gone onto say something about needing him because he was like a monastery or something. Now what could she mean by that? At best guess he figured she must be referring to his brick like muscles. It still seemed like a rather odd comparison; he'd have thought a fortress would work better.
More importantly though, he'd finally figured out what she needed him for. Obviously she wanted to try to hire him to move all that heavy orchestra equipment. Why the elephants weren't enough to get that job done though was a mystery to him, but moving stuff that even a herd of pachyderms was having trouble with sounded like just his kind of challenge.
As he contemplated the boon this could be to his reputation, he almost missed an even more important detail.
"...and save all of Equestria from..."
He wasn't sure how everything that came before added up to that, but Snowflake could think of only one response to such a request.
Well, this is a little later than intended.
I still haven't heard back from Mally for final proofing, but since this is both the shortest and silliest of the recruitment chapters, I think I can risk publishing it as is. My apologies for any horrendous spelling or grammatical errors. I might yet make major revisions to this chapter, and would certanly appreciate any additional feedback from readers.Now with 100% more Mally grade proofing, and with far less need for major overhaul than I'd feared.As with the last chapter, I'd like to thank LDLUYAB for providing initial proofing plus extra help with fleshing out some details. Also, as with last chapter, I would like to thank Fizzy Orange, Blackbelt, and GrassandClouds2 for serving as pre-readers and providing me with additional feedback, with extra thanks going to G&C2 for making me take a second and closer look at how I was portraying this character. I'm not sure if I was able to adequately address any of those issues, but I did take it all under consideration.
Anyway, some of you may have previously seen me comment that this fic was originally supposed to be an absurdist comedy. With all of Twilight's misfits being pharisaical parodies of the actual M6. I even looked to popular parodies of the show for inspiration, but for various reasons that never really panned out the way I planned, except here. Snowflake is pretty much in every way exactly the kind of ludicrously absurd character I was originally trying for. So if anyone is having a problem with him, please understand that above all else he is not meant to be in anyway taken as a serious or insightful character.
Lastly, I hate to say, but Ch5 could be a long wait, as it features what might be the most complex of the characters I'm trying to present, and so I need time to make sure I get in all the details I feel are important while keeping them all in a narratively cohesive presentation. Oddly Ch6 is probably closer to being finished, and so I suppose I could just transpose them, but for various reason that I can't disclose yet I really would prefer to save that one for last. Also, I think I might want to take some time off from this story, though not from writing entirely. I've got a pseudo one-shot featuring Carrot Top that I think may be my next immediate project.
Uh, isn't Raindrops Honesty, and Rainbow Dash Loyalty? Though I agree that RD would be a better Element of Honesty, and AJ Loyalty, canon should probably still be considered.
Also, are you going to make a Silverstar character profile thing like you've done for Lucky and Snowflake?
Now, since the story is Elements of Insanity, I'm guessing those might be an actual thing, in which case... either Snowflake or Lucky is Delusion, Silverstar might be Depression or something along those lines, and Twilight, I'm a little uncertain about.
And just to let you know, while I have made a couple of criticisms, I want you to know that the rest of the story is great. And all the other stuff you've written for the Lunaverse.
You used the steroid pony.
I love you.
This comedy has just gotten 20%... No, 100% more absurd!
944658
Nope, that mix up is fully intentional. I'm trying to poke a little fun at exactly that kind of fan mentality that thinks RD and AJ should have their elements flipped. As for any actually Elements of Insanity, I think their might be some measure of that, but who represent what element, or even what the six elements would be, is something I haven't really given much thought to yet and can't do much with till everyone is published. Please feel free to continue speculating though, just don't forget that Twilight is one of those elements as well.
944669
You amusement fills me with joyful pride.
I can sympathize with poor Snowflake.
I don't actually have poor hearing. In all honesty, I have pretty good hearing. I do, however, tend to have trouble processing spoken language.
I'm a self taught lip-reader, not to the point that I can read them on their own, but to the point that I understand people much better when I can see their mouth moving.
In the absence of this, I tend to mix up and misunderstand words all sorts of ways. You should hear what I used to think some song lyrics said as a kid. I can't quite recall what they are right now, just that I had a few 'oh, well that makes much more sense' moments upon learning the real lyrics.
It's like I have a minor case of some weird form of auditory dyslexia.
All-in-all these are excellent! Keep 'em coming!
944701 [The following statement is meant with no sarcasm whatsoever. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye, there will be no sarcasm] I am honored to have you poke fun at a part of my mentality. Not the whole part, I do think that RD and AJ have justification for their canon elements, but a little bit of me says 'That's a little backwards'.
Anyway, let's see. I see Lucky as Delusion, she herself says that she basically deludes herself about the nature of her life. I've said Silverstar. Snowflake is more mislead than deluded, but he's still detached from reality. Still have to work on that one. Twilight herself, I'm currently thinking Desperation, but that probably wouldn't work.
Snowflake seems to be Fanaticism.
A fanatic redoubles his effort when he has lost sight of his goal.
Soooooooo....that's why the nutjob is like that. He can't hear and won't admit it.
944751
Yeah, I might have a very mild case of the actual reading kind, but nothing that can't be compensated for with reasonably little effort. I was one of the last kids in my class to learn to read, and despite my parents (both avid readers) trying to kindle a love of it in me, I just never could get all that into reading as a pleasurable activity. It wasn't until Animorphs came along that I actually was able to find any form of reading I could take to with a passion (and boy did I; I came into the series about mid-way, and tended to read 2 or 3 of the books straight in single sittings about every other day until I caught up).
Anyway, that's probably a big reason why I'm exceptionally bad at proofing my own work. Once I miss-read a given instance of a word, I tend to do so continuously, and often object vehemently when someone tries to correct me. Some beauts from my child hood would be from when I first played FF4 (then known as FF2): Cecil was Celtic, Rose was Rosa, and Palom & Porom were Palamor & Poromal. For a more recent example, before Mally proofed EoI:Ch2 for me, Silverstar's exclamation of "haystacks" actually read "hayestasks", and even when pointed out that what I'd written was no recognizable word, it still took me defending that garbled mess before he was able to convince me what I had actually meant.
945011 944930
Fanaticism isn't half bad for Snowflake, but as for Clover being Delusion, I just don't see it. Of all of Twilight's misfits, she is supposed to be the one who most realizes what her problem is and how to cope with it. She holds no misconception about how miserable her life is and how she would be entirely justified to be every bit the miserable self-destructive wreck that someone like Silverstar is, but she CHOOSES not to be and instead seeks to treat the mere act of living from one day to the next as the only joy she needs.
944658
Oh, and yes, I will be doing a profile for Silverstar as well. Think I mentioned as much in my notes last chapter.
945373
Heh. I've had some misinterpretations that would have doubled as freudian slips had they been accurate. Probably for the best that I can't recall specific examples right now.
And don't get me started on what it's like learning to speak a foreign language. My teachers love to use recordings, but unless I've got text to read along, it can sound like gibberish even when I know every single word being used.
When I was in elementary school, one of the things that kind of threw my teachers off was that, when they would turn to write on the board while lecturing, I would run up in front of them on the justification that I couldn't hear them when their backs were turned.
I think I caused a few interesting parent-teacher conferences due to my antics back then. Funnily enough, none of them were due to actual misbehavior. I just don't think any of them had a real idea of what to do with me.
945373 .945011 Fanaticism works well, that fits Snowflake perfectly. With the Delusion thing, Clover sees reality, and then seems to make herself perceive the exact opposite. She's aware of reality, but lies to herself about it in her very next thought. Although, I suppose she's not completely ignorant of reality, it just doesn't suit her to accept it. Perhaps something else, but I can't think of what that would be.
945636
She's not really supposed to be lying so much as joking. She doesn't hide from the truth, she simply twists it through sarcasm until it's something funny rather than depressing, but she never really goes so far as to delude herself into thinking that the joke is reality. The only possible delusion she's under is that nothing she can do could ever change her lot in life, though she has years of misfortunes compiling on top of each other to back her up in that belief.
944930
Twilight is definitely Obsession.
945678 So... fatalism then?
I passed over an Anthropolgy update to read this first.
The line "yYeEaAhH?!?" validated my choice completely. Snowflake. An inspired selection for you and Twilight both.
"Wait, the mare was still talking."
Someone chisel me a headstone, I'm dying here!
945810
Wow, you gave my humble story priority over a big name like Anthropology? I'm honored beyond mere words. Though you should be careful about quoting stuff before requesting a headstone, lest you end up with those same words as your epitaph.
945683 945775
Obsession, doesn't sound half bad for Twilight.
Fatalism is a lot closer to Clover than Delusion, though I must say she'd have to be the down right most cheerfull fatalist ever.
945678 Ah, I see. I'll try to think of something that fits, anyway.
945683 Of course! And it goes beyond the Lunaverse, as well, being Twilight.
Yay! Another update! This one came pretty quickly, too. And I like Snowflake, he's silly. Reminds me of...someone...I can't quite place who. I think it's Schwarzwälder from "A Slice of Life."
945810
I actually stopped reading "Anthropology"...I lost interst in it about halfway through, when she becomes human and reaches Earth.
Uh, spoiler, I guess. But Lyra just sort of became bland after that, and I know Discord has shown up, but he's been kind of bland so far, too. Eh, I dunno, the story I'm reading isn't the story that we started with. "Anthropology" should probably have ended with her arriving on Earth and being confused by the Geico sign.
You know, something occurred to me recently that might provide some insight into L!Twi's personality if it's true. I don't keep an eye on the Lunaverse forums, so for all I know this has already been brought up, but, as far as we know, the lunaverse versions of the mane 6 (The normal mane 6 I mean, not the lunaverse 6) still have the same basic cutie mark stories, right? Meaning that the Sonic Rainboom still happened....meaning that Twilight's entrance exam presumably went the way it did in cannon.
With that in mind, it begs the question: What happened then? In the mane!verse, Twi's magical rampage was only calmed by Celestia stepped in. I'm guessing Luna probably wasn't directly involved here, or Twi'd still be in the same position she is in cannon (unless Trixie was already Luna's apprentice by then, in which case I doubt she would have been petty enough to just kick her aside in favor of Twilight). So how long did she go on transfiguring and otherwise zapping everything in this verse? Maybe the reason Luna!Twi is a bit more off her rockers(aside from the lack of friends thing) is that she's got the added trauma of having gone on an uncontrolled magic outburst as a little filly, and part of her reasons for wanting to know everything about magic, including doing making some thefts to get a hold of rare tomes, is because she is afraid (maybe subconsciously if she's either repressing the memory or had it erased by whoever DID stop her) of it happening again, and obsessively seeks magical knowledge to make sure it never happens again.
945833
Seeing as I haven't yet made the time to even start Anthropology, I could be upset about that unmarked spoiler, than again, it's my own fault for not getting around to it in a more timely faction. I'll probably still eventually get around to reading it myself, but given how many chapters it has I certainly wouldn't be surprised that your assessment that it dragged on too long was true.
Then of course you have go and bring up A Slice of Life as well, yet another fic I need to find the time for. Seriously, sometimes I think I just need to take a week off, go completely dark, and just binge read.
946293
Some interesting ideas there, but probably more in depth than I'll be addressing in this fic. If you really want to discuss the topic though, you should consider visiting the boards and asking there. The thread titled Familiar Faces in Unfamiliar Places would be a good place to start.
Why do I have the feeling that a hearing aid would solve about 75-80% of Snowflake's problems? Anyway, this is just... I love it. Man, the Elements are coming together! Sucks for the rest of Equestria/Twilight, though.
Still a little confusing as the Dash being there with Raindrops. What is Snowflake, the Element of Loyalty but Twilight mistook him for Honesty?
945826 I do appear to be turning into quite the Lunnaverse fan-poodle, so my judgement should probably not be considered entirely sound.
But, hooray for positive reinforcement! Just trying to repay some of the hedonic debt I'm incurring.
945833 Skirting the shoals of spoiler reef again, but I have to agree that the greater part of the tension did seem to evaporate at about that stage. Actually, I was getting worried that I was losing the ability to sympathise with bipedal characters!
I can't complain too hard, it's not like I have the guts to write anything.
Man, Twilight really missed the point with this one.....
You know, deep down, I feel so sorry for the hell Twilight is gonna put them through....
946990
That's the idea. When I finish it, Silverstar's profile will be the same, only in reverse. This has always been my intent, note that both their chapter sub-titled after the song line associated with the opposite line for the element they've been selected for.
947806
I used to think I'd never have the guts to actually publish anything either, then I did. Though I was still as nervous as Dash before the Best Young Fliers Competion while I waited to see what the responce would be.
i1162.photobucket.com/albums/q531/ADemonicPresence/42848_-_Hubble_animated_cowering_rainbow_dash_shaking.gif
...and to be perfectly honest not all that much has changed. I'm still nervous as hell every time I hit that submit/publish button. Part of me is always convinced that everything I just wrote, or have ever written, is contemptible garbage and that whatever newest chapter I just finished will be the one that finally proves it to everyone else.
950639
You and me both.
954231
I don't know, I could sort of see Clover as a futility. She certainly doesn't feel as though anything she could possibly do might change her own life, or even have much lasting impact on the world beyond making a few ungrateful ponies feel better about how there lives are less miserable than her own.
Apologies for taking so long... I have been having some issues of late.
Another excellent chapter, and I've sent what little needed fixing your way via PM.
It'll be interesting to see some token rich pone, perhaps Fancy Pants or Filthy Rich, as Generosity. But then, you've already shown you aren't averse to using OCs, so speculation is purely mental exercise.
I honestly can't think of any particular background pony/single ep pony that fits Kindness, but then, I don't really pay much attention to such things.
957679
No problems with the lateness isue. I'm more than grateful for all the efforts you so graciously donate to me. I'll be getting around to those fixes shortly.
As for speculation, it's not useless. Clover was an OC, but I believe I said in my opening comment for that chapter that she'll be the only one. Also, even there she only ended up so because I previously dismissed 3 different actual background ponies, and one could say that she's basically a mix of 2 of those rejects.
That said, guessing correctly would probably still be pretty difficult. Both remaining recruits are 100% official background/single-episode ponies (one of each to be precise), but they also have little enough useful canon or even fanon built up around them that by the time I'm through they might as well be OCs. The same though could really be said of my Silverstar (not to mention RDDs Raindrops), so hopefully it will all turn out well enough in the end.
958877
Mental exercise is never useless, my dear. But unfortunately, while I've watched through both seasons twice (with certain episodes like Luna Eclipsed getting a few extra watches), for the most part I couldn't name more than three background ponies on sight. Though, with my delving deeper and deeper into the world of fanfic, that is slowly but surely changing.
I mean, hell, even in the Luna Six, I have some trouble. Someone would have to point out Raindrops or Carrot Top to me. And the only reason I can identify Cloudkicker is an offhand remark made in the comments of one of the other stories I follow...
I am not a clever brony...
954299 Yeah, I get jumpy enough just posting comments, I don't think I handle the the terror of putting up a story. I have had a terrible idea about Lunaversing (is that a verb now?) "Owl's Well That Ends Well" by swapping out Spike for Pokey and Owlowiscious for a very deliberately trolling rat, a' la Tom and Jerry era cartooons, but I don't know how I'd project the pure SWAG that Pokey - - - - -
Hold the phone.
Have you been updating the cutie marks on the cover art as you've been going?
<sound of head falling off>
Ahhh, nuts. Just gimme a sec.
962578
Ahh, someone finally noticed that I've been updating the coverart as I revealed the identity of each character. Actually though, originally I was planing to take it a step further and replace each stone orb with the requisite pony's head, but between Ch3 becoming OC and being unable to find satisfactory artwork for Ch6, I abandoned that plan (although, I actually still have the first mock-up with Silverstar saved on my hard-drive).
Oh, and I'd love to see you publish a Tom & Jerry scenario, staring Pokey. I wouldn't worry about how terrible the idea seems either. This current story of mine started out as pretty much a terrible idea and the same goes for BB:tLT.
962799 That kind of Easter egg reminded me a little of my attempts to insert oblique references into the table-top RPGs I've run over the years. Naturally, I spent most of time trying to keep the players on top of the non-obfuscated plot elements, so they were really just for me. I've seen plenty of RPG related comments in the Lunaverse forum, along with some ninja world-building, so maybe that's not so surprising.
As for actually writing something, well, I could definitely stand to re-read "File Under 'I' for 'Impossible'" again. For research, you understand.
Besides, apparently I have to finish watching Gurran Lagann first...
Snowflake McHugeLarge?
Oh god his last hame is hilarious!
795324 Well, remember Twilight's reactions to Spike's praise at the beginning of that episode. She was pleased by the praise she was getting, but she didn't brag at all. In fact, she even said, before Trixie showed up, that there are probably other ponies just as good as magic as she is. Also, Winter Wrap Up: Praised for single-hoofedly saving Winter Wrap Up, she insisted it was a Team Effort
She seems to be gathering the forces of Self-Delusion here. Heavy irony indeed if it turns out in her thirst for vengeance, she really does discover friendship is more powerful than her spells?
1321365
Probably not; Twilight still thinks she's the hero, and Corona is supposed to be basically the pony devil. If Twilight took this team any where near the sun tyrant it would be as a harebrained scheme to vanquish her, not to join up with team evil.
MOAR!
1554797
Working on it still, I promise.
Ch5 is just being a pain in my flank and refuses to cooperate with me.
I take it this was before Rainbow Falls where Snowflake was called Bulk Biceps, fitting, not that I mind, with him, and indeed many background ponies who have many names that fans never agree on, I'm flexible with names, I work with whatever's given. If he's Bulk, h's Bulk, if he's Snowflake, he's Snowflake, if he's Roid Rage, he's Roid Rage.
4437059
Long before that episode, which is why I also mostly run with the gag that the only thing he ever says is "Yeah!", as well as having him be a surprising adept flier despite his stubby wings, since he was shown having no obvious difficulties back when he was originally introduced in Hurricane Fluttershy.
Regardless, yes I agree that background ponies can have many names and interpretations, so it's best to just not get hung up on which one is used. As this is an AU story though, I'm personally of the opinion that when he was born one parent wanted to name Snowflake and the other Bulk. Which parent won out just happens to be one of the differences between the Maneverse and Lunaverse.