• Published 22nd Jun 2012
  • 6,820 Views, 341 Comments

Elements of Insanity - Emeral Bookwise



Lunaverse; Twilight plans to prove herself superior to Trixie by forming her own Elements of Harmony

  • ...
16
 341
 6,820

Chapter 3: "Tons of Fun"

The piercing cry of an alarm clock filled the air. From under the covers of an adjacent bed, a hoof attached to gray leg reached out and slammed atop the offending device.

It's too early for morning.

Five minutes later the alarm rang again. This time the hoof fumbled clumsily about until finally it knocked sideways against the fiendish device, sending it tumbling to the floor below.

At the sound of the crash, the occupant of the bed bolted up right, "I'm up, I'm up!"

A moment passed as her mind settled, before the earth pony mare stretched and let out a great big yawn. She scratched a single hoof against the back of her curly dark dull-green mane as she blinked her bright green eyes. Finally, she glanced down to the floor where the alarm clock was still intact… mostly.

Getting out of bed, she picked it up and placed it back atop her worn nightstand. There was a new crack in the glass surface, though she was starting to lose count. It had already become almost impossible to read what time the pointers indicated, but it wasn't like she needed it to do anything other than blare out its cacophony every morning. That it could still do so after all the abuse her sleep addled brain put it through was a true testament. The clock was a perseverant survivor, much like its owner.

Clover Charms had not led what most would consider a fortunate life. Orphaned at a young age, she'd spent much of her youth passed from one foster family to the next, with a fair too many stints of being homeless on the streets thrown into the mix. Then there was the matter of her love life —no— she'd rather not even start down that train of thought. Proceeding as if that last stray thought had never happened, she looked around the chipped paint and peeling wallpaper of her rundown apartment; she wasn't so sure her present circumstances were all that much better than those of her past.

Still, she made do the best that she could, but with limited education, her job options weren't much to speak of. She couldn't even fall back on her special talent to pay the bills. The trio of four-leafed clovers on her flank didn't really represent any marketable skills. Like her nickname, 'Lucky', her cutie mark was more ironic than anything else.

Ponies that bothered to get to know her always asked how she got that mark if her life sucked so much. Well, she would always answer, there are two kinds of luck in this world, and so long as I'm hogging up so much of the bad there's that much more of the good to go around for everypony else. Most ponies would then give her an odd look, unable to comprehend how she could actually mean such a thing, but Clover 'Lucky' Charms had learned years ago that the only way to survive the harsh truths of the world was to laugh off her own misfortunes. The way she figured, she had two choices: grin and bear it, or be crushed beneath the weight of her own misery.

How could that not be the easiest choice in the world to make?

Her odd outlook on life often made other ponies tell her she was funny. Too bad they meant that more in the touched in the head sort of way than the comical one.

For several years now she'd been trying, unsuccessfully, to make a career for herself as a comedian. Unfortunately it seemed the type of wit that could get a sarcastic chuckle from an individual really wasn't the kind of stuff that wowed larger audiences. Truth was, most ponies preferred to believe that Equestria was an idyllic paradise where nothing could ever go wrong. Lucky couldn't fault them for wanting to hold onto that belief, no matter how wrong it actually was.

Oh well, no sense dwelling on all that, she thought to herself as she paced over to the window and threw open the curtains to bask in the morning light of the new born day, or at least she would have. Unfortunately, the skies were gray and overcast, an all too common sight in Manehattan, or at least this section of it.

"Another glorious morning view from my luxurious penthouse!" she quipped to herself. "What more could I possibly ask for in life?"

It was a silly joke born of an obvious lie, but it brought an instant smile to her face. Not a sarcastic one either, but a truly deep and genuine grin that reached all the way to the bottom of her soul and back again.

She really did have what mattered most. She might not be rich and famous, or even financially secure and appreciated by those few who she knew personally, but she was alive and so, as the old saying went, that meant she had to have hope. Not hope that things might ever get better (she was realistic in her expectations) but hope that she would wake again tomorrow, the day after, and the next after that as well. She was alive, and for as long as that lasted she would treat every day as the miracle it was.

Of course if she expected to stay alive she had to put food on the table, and to do that she had a job to get to.

She trotted into her bathroom, more of a closet really, and turned the tap to start her morning routine with a brisk refreshing shower. The water was far too cold, but at least it was clean. As the flow washed away yesterday's grime, she hummed to herself.

My name is Clover Charms; I'll sing under the spray
And wear a great big smile; through every gloomy day

It doesn't matter how; I should be sad or blue
'Cause keeping up good cheer; is what I always do

I always wear a smile, smile, smile; yes I do
It guards my heart from noon shine all the while; yes it does

'Cause all I really need's my smile, smile, smile
Even if it's all I've got

Trotting from one market stall to the next, Lucky ponders what she wants to eat, and perhaps more importantly, what her precariously light coin purse can afford.

I'd like some fresh éclairs; but day old will have ta do
With cheese dip and some relish they'll be just as tasty too

I might have little money; but I will not pout or frown
I'll tell a joke and give a laugh; then scarf my breakfast right on down

'Cause life's not a game to win, win, win; no it's not
Never let them see my fear, and don't give in

Just to live with joy's a win, win, win
When it's done we're all the same

Clover pushes a mail cart down an aisle of office cubicals. An oppressive drabness pervades the entire scene, unhindered by the multihued coats of the ponies at each desk.

It's true this job is drab and dreary; and maybe I should feel sad
But silly as it seems I can only choose instead to be glad

Some folks might call me sappy; and say my life's not worthwhile
But I just laugh them off; and give a smile

Later that evening, in a back alley pub with a sign advertising open mic night, a tomato sails through the air. It strikes the curtain behind the stage as Lucky dodges it with practiced experience.

I shouldn't be so happy; when all they do is jeer
And yet I smile, it's no denial; life's too precious to me

So no matter what I'll dream, dream, dream; yes I will
Tell me, what more should I need to live life for; such a thrill

'Cause, all I'll ever need's my dream, dream, dream
Yes, I couldn't ask for more!

Worn, but never weary, Clover canters her way down the streets of Manehattan. All that was left was to go home and to bed so she could do it all again tomorrow.

I never wear a phony smile, smile, smile; Even in the dark there's moonlight, moonlight
All I'll ever need's a smile, smile, smile; To see me through each night!

I never wear a phony smile, smile, smile; Even in the dark there's moonlight, moonlight
All I'll ever need's a smile, smile, smile; To see me through each night!

Always live my life guilt free; as I smile with every mile
And stay as happy as can be; smile, smile, smile, smile

SMILE!!

I've got to smile; I've got to—

"Hello."

Halfway up the front steps of her apartment complex, Lucky turned to face the unexpected greeting. There she saw a lavender mare, about her own age, maybe a bit younger. Despite a neatly trimmed dark blue mane, the poor dear looked like she'd been living on the streets for days, if not weeks, the ragged burlap cloak a poor protection against the chill night air.

"I'm sorry miss, but I really don't have any bits to spare." Clover hated turning away somepony in such obvious need, but her own means were meager at best. "There's a good soup kitchen and shelter just a few blocks down though."

The mare tilted her head in a look of confusion, but then glanced back as if taking in her own appearance for the first time. "What? No. I mean… I know what this must look like, but I'm no beggar. Well I do sort of need help, but not of the financial sort. If you'd just give me a moment of your time I can explain everything and—"

The mare was cut off by the sound of her own traitorous stomach as it pleaded for sustenance. She gave a sheepish grin.

Lucky knew she should just walk away, or maybe escort the starving girl to the local shelter. Instead, for reasons she couldn't quite explain, "Look, I don't have much to offer, but if you'd like you can come upstairs and I'll see what I can pull together while you explain that everything you mentioned."


The apartment was small, but the sparse furnishings made it spacious enough. Clover spooned out a second bowl from the contents of a portable stove set atop a mini-fridge, before going over to the low set table and taking a seat opposite her guest.

The unicorn, who had introduced herself as Tenebrosity Scintillation on the way up, sniffed uneasily at the bowl that had been previously placed in front of her, "I've… um… never had chocolate flavored ramen with barbecued apple slices before."

"Huh? Yeah, I guess most ponies must find it a bit odd, probably why the stuff was double discounted in the bargain bin." Tilting her own bowl back, Lucky downed nearly half the contents before setting it back down. As she looked back up at her guest, the earth mare slurped down the end of a long noodle that hung from her lips. "Personally, I can't get enough of the stuff!"

Her guest took a few hesitant sips before offering up a weak grin in an obviously false expression of appreciation.

"So then, Miss Scinti— actually that's kind of a mouth full; mind if I just call you Tenbre?" There was no wait for a response, "So anyway, Tenbre, you had a story or something you wanted to tell me?

"Well, Miss Charms, I—"

"Oh please, no need for you to be so formal if I'm not. Just call me Lucky. All my friends do, or at least they did back when I had any worth speaking of." It was true, not that she was a lonely pony; she had plenty of acquaintances and associates, just not really anypony she would call a proper friend.

The lavender mare frowned a bit, "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that."

"Why?" Clover smirked. "It isn't your problem."

"Well, it's just that I've never really had any friends at all; there just never seemed to be the time."

"Sounds more like I should be the one feeling sorry for you." She didn't frown —not with her mouth at least— but Lucky seemed to hold a degree of wistful sympathy in her eyes as she questioned, "Really though, never a one?"

The unicorn returned a shy smile, "Well there was one, but well, he doesn't really count."

Lucky gave a wry snicker, "Oh…! Had yourself a very special somepony then?"

Some warm memory seemed to kindle in the back of the mare's eyes, "Yeah, he was pretty spec— Wait, no!" she blushed furiously. "It was nothing like that. I mean he was my brother. That would just be…"

"Hey, I'm not one to judge," Clover said with a sarcastic leer before pressing, "If that's what whiles your willies far be it from me to…" The poor girl's embarrassment only seemed to deepen, threatening to turn her whole coat from lavender to a vibrant crimson shade. The earth mare let out an exasperated sigh "I'm joking. Sheesh, Tenbs, learn to lighten up and live a little."

The clarification hardly seemed to help and several awkward moments passed in silence as neither mare seemed able to look at each other.

"Uh... how 'bout we just get back to what exactly brought you to my doorstep?"

The unicorn's mortified humiliation finally seemed to subside, at least enough for her to find her voice, "Oh, right. Well… um, you see, I've kind of been looking for a comedian, and well, I caught your act and…"

...

"…and? Wait! Don't tell me you're a talent scout or something?" Lucky smiled broadly. Her smiles were always genuine, but she'd almost forgotten just how much better they could be when she didn't have to coax them out through sarcastic wit. Then again, it was probably too much to hope for, however… "I mean if that's true, it would be the most exciting news ever… but, Tenbre please, even I'd find it in poor taste if you were only teasing me."

"Sorry, I'm no talent scout," the unicorn answered with a frown, but then amended herself, "well, I guess I sort of am scouting for talents, but it's nothing like what you'd think."

"Oh…" Clover felt that boundless and joyful hope slowly ebb from her face as a frown slowly crept into replace it; that wouldn't do, "but you actually liked my act, right? So much so that you had to follow me home just to meet me in person." She could feel the excitement rushing back. "So what's the gig then, Tenbs? Even if it's just a birthday or a wedding, that's still more than I've ever been offered before, and…" She trailed off as she caught herself. Now she was just starting to sound way too desperate. "Yeah right, just listen to me prattle on. You're the one looking for a comedian after all."

"About that," the unicorn shifted nervously in her seat, "I don't actually think you're the pony I'm looking for. I was sort of there looking to catch one of the other acts. Seeing you perform was really just an accident, and well, I wouldn't exactly say I liked your routine."

Now Lucky could feel all that small hope from earlier truly twist and morph into something like anger. "Well then, just why is it you're bothering me then!" she fumed with a dry bluster.

The unicorn shrank under Clover's glare "Um… well, Curiosity I guess. After that first night, I came back and… well, I mean, I just don't get it; you never make anypony laugh, so I just had to know why it is you keep getting up on that stage?"

Looking into the Tenbre's eyes, Clover saw only genuine puzzlement. Whatever anger she'd been brewing quickly evaporated as she smiled and explained, "Oh, that. The short answer is that I'm probably just a glutton for punishment, with an unfortunate emphasis on the pun." Nothing. The unicorn just held a studious gaze without so much as even a groan.

Lucky sighed; she had hoped that would be enough, but her guest's penetrating stare never wavered. "Look, first off, it's not like it should even matter if anypony is laughing or not. I get up onto that stage cause it makes me happy; what else should matter other than that?"

...

"And the second reason?" the unicorn pressed.

Oh, Clover had hardly realized her previous statement had ben prefaced in a way as to invite such an additional query. She really wished that Tenbre hadn't asked her that. Was there even a 'secondly', she thought to herself. Normally she wouldn't bother, but something about that look of unbridled inquisitiveness compelled her to try at least.

The earth mare scratched her chin, for once attempting to come up with a serious answer to a question that she'd hardly ever even bothered to ask herself. "Well hmph… I guess, well maybe… it's like this. When ponies hear my jokes they might not laugh out loud, but I can see the look in their eyes. They don't want to admit it, but it makes them happy to be reminded how bad their lives aren't. They really are laughing, sort of at least; just somewhere deep inside their souls, in a place they don't like to admit even exists."

Her guest squinted one eye as she raised the brow of the other, "…and, and you really believe that?"

"Yeah... I guess I really do. I mean, what would be the point if I didn't? I might not think about it much, but in a way I've always known it, ever since the day I got my cutie mark." She paused and watched as her guest leaned sideways to glance around the table at Lucky's flank.

"I used to wonder why my mark would be a symbol for good luck." She chuckled a bit. "I mean with the kind of luck I've always had a ladder, or a broken mirror, or maybe an open umbrella against the silhouette of a house would have all made more sense. It took me awhile, but then I noticed how much better my misfortunes made everypony else feel."

She saw a look of stunned, not quite horror, but something almost as uncomfortable cross Tenbre's face. Clover had to admit, waxing philosophical like this really did cast her talent poorly.

"It sounds awful, I know, but ponies can look at me and say, 'I'm glad I'm not her'. It makes them smile, even if they don't know why. That's when it hit me; my luck may be rotten, but that's because I am the lucky charm."

"Huh," the unicorn said in complete bewilderment. "I don't get it; how's that make any kind of sense?"

"Well, it's like this. Ponies pick clovers for good luck, right?"

The unicorn nodded.

"But think about it; what happens to the clover? It dies, that's what!" She slammed a hoof on the table, not out of anger or spite, but merely to emphasize the point. After that, she paused to take a deep breath. "But before it does it fills the bearer's life with joy." Lucky shook her down cast head as she strained to chuckle. "I know it might seem sad, but well, if in my own little way I can leave the rest of the world a happier and better place in the end, well, then all the little personal sufferings I have to endure will all be worth it."

A blink, then a second and a third, "Wow… You…? You're perfect!"

Clover regained a bit of her normal wit, "Perfectly insane you mean, right?" She giggled lightly before continuing, "If I had a bit for every time somepony told me that… well, actually I'd still be close to broke. Most folks prefer to just shake their heads and walk away rather than speak their mind like that."

"No I'm serious!" Tenbre insisted. "I didn't think I'd ever actually be asking you this, and well, it's probably going to be your turn to think I'm the crazy one afterwards, but... well, here goes."



Author's Note:

• Proof reading by LDLUYAB and Mally