A long time ago, before Luna's transformation into Nightmare moon, a new citizen was welcomed into Equestria. He was no pony, in fact he was something new altogether. He was what was known as a human. The two sisters welcomed him into their nation, and even befriended him. And for a time, they got along great. Until the nightmares started. The human's mind began to be plagued by horrible nightmares, in which his new friends would put him through terrible torture. After a time he began to see these dreams, not as tormented visions, but as a warning. He began to realize that the nightmares weren't there to hurt him, they were there to save him. And so he gave himself over to them. The two sisters tried to reason with him, telling him that he was sick, but he refused to listen. Retreating into the world of nightmares, this human disappeared, and hasn't been seen or heard of for a long, long time. Until now. And he has changed.
good I like it.
Besides the occasional grammar mistake, this is a good story so far keep it up.
Loved it keep it coming
Not bad! That was a good start!
7249823 Thank you!
Hey. That's pretty good. Keep them coming!
Dude this is one of the best H.I.E fimfics i have ever read
7295918 Thanks very much!
I NEED BLOODSHED!
I like it
hmmmmmmm.... The snake does not seem to be the submissive one here...
7310057 ur right he seems like the puppeteer and nightmare/noah his puppet
Nice chapter. Onwards!
7297245
I agree, in just one chapter, this story has shat on at least 2/3 of the HiEs I've read. Well do, sir!
I have one serious boner for this story!!!!
7311113 Thanks to you as well!
Well that's a bad sign. Good chapter m8 keep it up
PS: FIRST!
This story can either stay interesting and entertaining or crash and burn in the fires of poor character development, story building and dialogue.
Right now you've earned a thumbs up though.
Well then, if this is only the first chapter then I am going to need some lights on for the next few. *Maybe not but it's quite unnatural to see a nightmare monster other than Nightmare Moon, and one that was a human who is a literal boogeyman makes it all the more creepy.*
Damn, I smell conflicting viewpoints!
I sense a game of cat and mouse in the future...
I'm on board I like this story it's good and exciting keep up the good work you beat the other recent stories I've read and for nightmare guess he walks alone
7478429 Thank you!
Every night he had bad dreams...
Of this guy!
allmystery.de/i/tec0be0_the2Bmaster2Bdoctor2Bwho.jpg
The end of time is coming to Equestria!
Anyway, another HiE who gets powers and decides the Sisters are evil and believes everything he sees in dreams because he's apparently crazy and stupid. Meh. This is why the ponies should play it safe and just shoot every human who randomly shows up! It's usually bad news!
*Alondro suddenly pops into Equestria* Oh wow! I'm in-*BLAM!!* Ack... looks like... they took... my advice... *dies*
Noah was probably seeing this in his dreams
*casually strolls in and looks around, hands in pockets*
"Huh... you know, this is pretty nice, all things considered. You'd expect a place called 'The Nightmare Realm' to be worse."
*face slackens into a vacant stare; eyes affixed on a distant nothing slowly begin to show hints of horror and revulsion*
"A lot worse..."
real terror
...
I think we're in for a little bit of a ride here, eh?
Hate to see what happens to that kids parents, when they find him...
@_@
This is like a Nightmare on Elm Street crossover.
This story is cool, but this chapter showed a persistent error I thought I'd help you out with. You were getting muddled up with 'coarse' and 'course'. 'Coarse' is an adjective that describes a texture or feel of something, meaning it is rough or harsh, so you would say 'the rope was coarse', and would not use it in 'of course' or 'over the course of months'. So I'd just go back and change every use of the word 'coarse' in this chapter to 'course'.
Good luck, keep it up.
7628794 Ok, thanks for the tip!
the snake is mind-warping him god damnit
7718014 I'm one chapter away from finishing another story, but once that's done, I'll get to work on this
Heh famous last words
Oh my god, I'm in love with this fic. I NEED MORE!
7607642
7547499 such as this?
7912475
More like this:
vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/whitewolf/images/e/e5/Cathedral_of_Flesh.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20140427195752
orig13.deviantart.net/0aa9/f/2014/266/4/8/cathedral_of_flesh_by_bbbeto-d80ageo.jpg
I am the first to comment so here is what I think of your story on the hole,
It's a masterpiece
8129521 Thanks a lot, I'm really glad you like it!
yay a new update:3
If this happened to me, there is only on way i would want it to go
I HAVE THE SHINIEST MEAT BICYCLE!!!
Yyyyeeeeessssssss this story is still going
Sad to see that this story is dead, but it was enjoyable all the same.