Page generated in 0.039 seconds
Total duration
646 users online
1,199,099 hits today, 2,921,617 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I would tone down a bit with Solar. You are starting to head toward some major Gary Stu material here or less extreme a bit of Superman scaling issues. Superman scaling is where you have an unusually powerful main character that would be Gary Stu if nothing else is to scale with him. That is really hard to pull off and you really don't want to get there too quickly, which is what you are rushing towards. Scaling like that is generally best for when you get more towards end game. Other than the usual need for going over a bit of editing this is getting a bit interesting. Wonder how Twilight is gonna be in here? Still I say all this because I want to see where this goes.
7071124
Thank you and I can tell you that Solar will no longer get any stronger than he is. But in the future, he will get a little stronger. Chapter 5 is the last we will see of Solar becoming a super human. Later on, he will grow even more powerful, but this will be towards the end of this whole story. Also Twilight will becoming in after chapter 6.
Good so far
Aside from gramar problems, in the sene of the bad guy it's kind of anoyng to read "the figure" that many times.
Aside from that and gramat it's goos so far
7071926
I thank you for your input. I think I will make changes to that part of the story.
Ooooooookkk.
And have you ever heard about a question? P.S that is a question
Tell
you know what? for once I'm in the mood for the natural giftet boy. I mean maybe he can even help with some Villains, I honestly don't care how much sense it makes, I want a Human that can help a bit more than with taking a quick vacation to "safety land", or "easy mission island". The best thing I got to that was someone attacking Tirek and being beaten afterwards, that made actually sort of sense, but why couldn't he at least well be a bit tricky and stay conscious during the fight to look like he was some help?
I like those who aren't exactly OP but still able to do something, but I actually don't mind his strength. However I don't really want him to just beat up Tirek with a flick of his magic, till now it looks like he could do it (I had read a bit farther ahead at this moment)
okay now there is a bit to much praise. I mean it start's to sound like a background story for some super hero, just that he only got breastfeeded.
You maybe haven't exactly introduced this evilg guy that good, and I'm not sure if I understood what exactly got the doctor so nervous but I stick around to find out. To be honest it is weird how all of the evil guys are usually there just in time to kill them immediately after they found out about about some sort of secret. It is as if those guys would get paid to don't live a normal live and stalk random ponys that could well find out about it because of their positions, and after that they probably don't know what to do anymore, since their only job they had ever done was following one pony. I guess it would have been nice to see that the evil guy noticed something sooner.
Just wait until she sees the matching lunar themed mark on his other hand.
Dark magic and ancient wars I call sombra
DOCTOR PULSE!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Man the doctors death reminds me of something but what *cough*hellboy*cough*
m.quickmeme.com/img/c8/c85a018bc88557d5ebe002aca454be684f078aa61af668636151571c1ee2a926.jpg
Shame on you for triggering my feels for Maes Hughes...
i dont know why i got a fullmetal alchemist vibe from this chapter
stayclassy
all this fits in with one song a song no one within the galaxy dares to defy
Remove the for, add a comma after wait, and put a question mark in place of the period.