I will probably wait a few chapters before I make a solid opinion but so far, it's really good.

A "Celestia finds and raises a human child" fic! This should be interesting...

"Fuck, I'm tired of this all. Why do I have to be the one who doesn't get happiness. Fuck it all to fucking Tartarus." She screamed out in the forest.

...Aaaand I'm done!

An interesting start, it kinda makes me think of Monster of Canterlot

I look forward to see where you take this ^>^

7062514 I stopped reading after "tired of this all". Kinda makes you wonder how many of these authors are trolls, and how many are just awful.

You know, whenever I see that many tags on one story, I just assume it's going to be an unfocused mess.

7063173
You can't go around assuming things just because they're almost always true...

How does a story even get more than 5 tags? Isn't there some kind of a limit on tags, thanks to the site admins?

7063454
You say that now.

But then you start throwing numbers around and suddenly that's "racist."

7063465
"Sex" and "gore" aren't true tags. For the site's purpose, they work the same in the filters, but they aren't in the "tag" list as they're rating warnings rather then genres.

Ah... It's been changed a bit. Good Maybe this won't be so bad afterall...

"Wait, you took this child from some creature that was his mother. Are you fucking nuts, princess! I know you want a child, but stealing one isn't a good idea. How can we be sure there are more of them?" He said

Okay... I may not know much about being a Captain of the Guard, but I know for a fact that a Captain would NOT talk to a princess like that!

And also...

"Please take care of my son. He is yours now. Thank you, who and what ever you are."

The tribal woman from Ice Age trusting her child to a mammoth and a sloth was more moving than this.

Corrections

To start off, the introduction:

She was in cable of having a child of her own.

Do you mean ''incapable''?

Follow the story of Solar Ignition Flare and Princess Celestia as they learn how to become a family. Follow every problem and situation they are thrown in. Follow them through every fight and argument. As they try to become a family.

That repetition doesn't sound right.

Chapter 1:

Celestia walked the only trail of the woods that bordered Canterlot.

''Celestia walked along''... is better.

Many ponies walked these trails to calm there minds

...their minds...

for sending er dear sister

You mean ''her''.

but she was thinking of ways to free her from that grasp of darkness.

Take away ''but'' and replace that with ''the''.

But her mind was heavy on other things.

Replace ''on '' with ''with''.

Her life had become much more harder

Delete ''more''.

Though life hadn't gotten easier without her sister.

This entire phrase can be deleted as the previous one makes the point of life having become hard for Celestia clear.

Look, this is just the beginning of chapter 1... having said that you really need an editor. That's saying it for grammar. In terms of narrative there's a lot of improvements that can be made, but it's not bad at all.
I want to see where this goes so please continue.

Solar Ignition Flare? Really? PLEASE just use Solar Flare from now on.

er

her

From the look of him,

Looks

"Thank you Stonewall and I will think about how I reveal my new son."

How will I reveal

He may be different, but he a special different

He's especially
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well the story is great, however you need a editor bruh. Anyways by the looks of it this chapter is very familiar to An Unexpected Live (no dislikes), but I see a few differences that are distinguishable from that story. Anyways gotta read further!

I agree with>>7107580, an editor is in order as there are quite a bunch of grammatical errors here, and frankly you're pacing could use a little tightening.

Well yes the part with the gramar was already mentioned, so I only have to say that I finally read the first chapter, and have found my way into the story. I mean I like to read it now, I just needed to get in the mood and forced myself trough the first half of the chapter till I started to get curious and like it.

However she had one self defeating argument there, she said that she wanted that those Mares which can't get any childs to have a son from the orphanage, but she was one of those too.

Oh I noticed two mistakes, but only the part with "rave" (Grave) is still in my mind.

7190264 I think that can be attributed to the fact that in this fic Celestia seems to have a slight martyr complex.

"What do you mean by that? A baby couldn't survive in the forest."

"So you're sure we won't be attack by more of these things hunting for this thing?"

"I'm certain, they seemed to be the only two.

Pretty good start. I like it already.

7316552
True

In the center of her chest was a massive wound. She could clearly see it was made by a weapon like a sword or arrow.

You can't make a massive wound with an arrow unless you, by hand, use it like a dagger and cut.

"He is Solar Ignition Flare or just Solar Flare for short."

I see that Celestia suffers from the Asgore naming syndrome, meaning she is really, REALLY bad at making names. Solar Flare sounds nice, but the addition of the word "Ignition" sounds so stupid. It breaks the flow of the words, and doesn't fit with the other two words in the slightest, aside from having something to do with heat.

She then looked at to the forest where the rave lied.

Someone left a rave party lying around in the forest? Oh wait, that's supposed to be grave, not rave.

I will teach him how to be the greatest pony around. i have a feeling you were meant to be here Solar.

You forgot to capitalize the second i.

My diagnosis of this is that's written poorly, the words don't flow, it's rather disjointed, there are many places where the punctuation or grammar could be improved, and the editor is absolutely horrible.

My prognosis is that this comment will not make a difference and it will continue to be exactly the same in the characteristics laid out in the previous statement until it's ended.

As Lily Peet has said, "There are no bad ideas, only bad executions." This means that this thing has the potential to be good, this concept can be good with a good writer or editor, but with poor writing and an incompetent editor, it's going to be bad.

This has a horrible editor.

I would read more of this, because it appears to be interesting... BUT! between the spelling errors that are so bad that I can't understand them, and the words that are not the proper word to be placed there which makes the structure of the sentence make no sense. Along with some of the words not being completed like rave instead of Grave ect....

And if that was not bad enough the characters seem lifeless to me, the way they talk to one another is as if they are robots with little to no emotion.... At least in my eyes... Oh sure she cried but I could not feel any emotion coming from her when she spoke to her guard.

Perhaps I'm just over thinking it but I can not get into the story. I hope the later chapters are better than this one, because it needs edited badly!

This is an interesting idea, but a bit on the choppy side.

Why didn't Celestia adopt? Her logic is so ponies who can't conceive can, but SHE can't conceive, so what's the problem.

Also the mother scene was confusing. You should of described what she was doing first then described her.

Still, a cool idea, and I do love mother Celestia stories.

7316552

right movie but you need the right song for it!

She could leave the forest knowing that one of her subjects is hurt.

She couldn'tleave the forest knowing that one of her subjects is hurt.

You know what bugs me about this chapter? Not only did you not describe Celestia in this chapter, and on top of that we can't tell if they have fingers/ hands or not (or maybe it's just me and I'm bad at noticing it), but you kept using the pronoun she to refer to Celestia, when you could've also used adjectives like Celestia's color; white, or nouns like alicorn or princess. Please don't get to repeatative when doing this.

So right off the bat I'm noticing that you are very choppy with your sentences, like every time you use BUT it is a new sentence when some could argue all you need is a ,

Solar flare from dragonball Z nice

I gonna think of a song for every chapter of this amazing story.

And here is what I pick for Chapter 1.

"Your gonna be"..... By Reba McEntire.

I don't know how to do links,but you can find this and more on YouTube.

I'm going to say for the first chapter to almost make me cry (because let's be honest we don't want to lose our mother's or father's), keep up the good work.