Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. - Theodor Geisel
An eight-year old boy runs from home in a carefully executed plan that somehow does not go the way he expects.
Perhaps water is a good thing to pack, even if it is heavy.
(This story contains some really old writing, but people still seem to like it, so I have restarted writing it. Still, updates may be infrequent, due to the sheer number of stories I keep writing and updating. I don't like giving up on any of my stories I have published.)
Page generated in 0.086 seconds
Total duration
1,094 users online
1,757,165 hits today, 1,960,719 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Nice. Can't wait for more.
For anyone following this story, I'm going to busy this week and even more the next week, due to an All-Europe band concert that I am in. There is a chance that I can get a chapter out before this weekend, but next week, it will be absolutely impossible to do anything. I'm sorry, it's especially painful, as I already have a lot of the story written down, if not on a computer. It just takes a while to transcribe and edit it. After next week, though, it should be more consistent, at least one or two chapters per week. I hope. Again, I apologize. I'm getting ready for college, and everything is so hectic, especially with moving everything (I live in Germany currently).
Anyway, thank you for your patience, and I hope you at least enjoy the part of the story that is out already. (Trust me, it gets better.)
I like this story but John seems too young for me to plausibly believe that he is as mature or as knowledgeable as he appears to be. I would say that he should be more like 10-12. I guess he could be a prodigy, but then I find it less likely that he would want to run away in the first place as would likely see the logical pointlessness of it. You could make him a prodigy but I fail to see the reason why he wants to leave. I look forward to updates and hopefully a response.
7013520 I quite understand your thinking. I was considering making a change like that, but I decided to go with my initial age. I know quite a few people who knew that sort of thing at 8 years old, while still being emotionally immature enough to run away.
Also, he was a bit more... logical about running away, not just going off in a fit of anger, but planning it out, and having a very specific purpose for leaving (even though that reason was still immature).
Let me know if this makes sense to you. If it's confusing, or just not evident enough in the story, I might change the age like you suggest.
Thank you very much for your feedback, and please let me know if anything else is unclear or confusing.
this is a surprisingly good story so far, at first is really had a beginner child writing vibe to it, but when I saw that the kid, how thought that he was so smart by reading up on survival in the forest book and then underestimating the amount of physical labor that he was just not used to, got my attention. I also like that you managed to bring out on the forefront your characters flaws of biting more than they can chew and manage to make joke or gag about it surprised me. I like the childish style of writing that you have and I hope you will keep on writing like that for the rest of the story.I loved how Twilight overreact about the foal of trying to take the element of magic away from him, I don't think that anyone would have guess that the colt would have disappear like that, but still Twilight needed to be scolded for her brashness, and that after her reappear she takes him as her son, talk about flipflop. I am curious to know why Discord had to tamper with the colt in order to restore mind back to normal, and not the Tree of Harmony couldn't? I wander if Twilight will show off the colt to her parents, I would expect them to be very shockingly surprised by the news, and I thing that whey would be event more surprised if Discord play it off as being the father to them just to screw with them. Still, I wander if the boy can ever comeback to his family, I supposed so but I don't think that he could return as a human or that his family wouldn't accept him again as he is wholly unrecognizable to them or that he could only hope to expect to be hidden away from the rest of the world, for his own security because of his form. I wander why he has the element of Magic embedded in him?
So why did you do the changes anyway? the only deference that I see is that nova had his coat changed from white to black and that he grew a few years.
7077571 The main reason was the aging, which I had originally planned but forgot to actually do. The color was just a choice - it looked better in my head, and it made more sense overall for the story.
I certainly don't want to do something like this again, though. If I publish something, it should be final. (barring grammatical errors, of course)
7077571
Now that I'm rereading this later, when I have more experience, there is actually a good reason for the color change.
Though at the time, it was a simple case of really poor planning and amateurish writing. I had a lot of ideas, and instead of coming up with a definite plan for the story, I just winged it.
Now for the new explanation. It's basically a case of Discord messing with stuff. Harmony has no color preference, so didn't give him any color whatsoever. Discord made the decision to give him one, and so he decided to do one that wasn't "boring." And since he knew that anything truly interesting would be instantly questioned, he just settled for a rare color. While Discord helped him retain his personality, he got away with as much chaos as possible. Partly due to habit, and partly due to his fear of a pony so dependent on Harmony.
The final result of his actions is yet to be shown, but it is certainly more interesting than the previous "plan" I had for this.
Now I need to sit on these ideas for a few days before I start writing. And maybe catch up on my other stories I'm not updating.
8718944
Nice to hear you around again, I hope to see an update on this story again soon.
Nice to see you're back at it again after so long. It was an interesting chapter but What does Nova even think of his situation as he just learns to us his magic and doesn't seem worried that he is far away from his home, his family and his species?
8819480
Yeah... that's going to come up pretty soon. Right now, he's doing the kid thing of getting distracted by something interesting while completely forgetting the more important part.
Fortunately for him, he's not old enough to do that on purpose to avoid it, but... yeah.
In addition, there's a little bit of amnesia going on. Discord wasn't exactly trying to bring back a specific person, just get a personality in there in general. By chance, this ended up restoring him, for the most part.
But it wasn't perfect. Hence the reason why he remembered the word "battery," but forgot what it actually was when he tried to think about it properly. (More on this in the next chapter.)
Where can I read Circadia?
8819634
Circadia is my name for a series I started a while ago, starting with Guiding Light. It's intended to have four books, but that isn't going to happen for a while.
The sequel (second book) is on hiatus for a while, but as a reader pointed out, the first chapter of that kinda acts like an epilogue for the previous one.
Though nowadays, I'd recommend some of my other recent stories. Still, those aren't not nearly as long (yet), so if you are looking for something to read, I'd still recommend it.