A human wakes up to find that not only has he been altered in species and gender, but that he has also landed halfway across the world from Equestria, in an unfamiliar land.
This is not that story. Not yet, anyway.
A decade in passing and Kaz has gained a reputation as a member of a well-known group of explorers traveling the world. Not once have they set foot on Equestrian soil, and she was content to keep it that way, for her appearance would bring about unwanted attention from a few certain ponies and one certain baby dragon. So what happens when the rest of the group hears of unbelievable tales of Equestria, and decide that it's time they paid a visit?
An impending disaster, that's what.
Chapters (3)
I like how it starts. Want second chapter.
can only say WANT MOARRRRRRRRRRRRR!
MOAR! Seriously, please?
quite the unique premise, I like it
Quick little grammar spot on the story description:
I believe you meant 'This is not that story.'
Other than that, very interesting. Great work!
3453405 Good catch, thanks for pointing it out. Hope you enjoy the rest of this fic.
3453417 No problem, always willing to help. Keep up the good work.
This looks interesting. Also very well written, look forward to the next chapter with bated breath. Hope I don't have to wait too long lol.
this is pretty good, pull out a second chapter and I'll definitely like this.
Dude make this go far!!!! I like this a lot!!!
It is a nice story, a little fast paced at the end, but all in all a great story. Will there be more?
3453539 I'm busy with college work, but if I can't write more of this, I'm going to eat a steering wheel.
I thoroughly enjoyed this. It has a lot of potential, and is quite a deviation from the norm. Also, MOAR!
pwease?
Well done. More please.
I summon Blue eyes pink menace in attack mode!
Niiiiice! +1 stalker.
well done
more plez
cool story, get a reverse 5 score feeling from it though. Awesome.
MOARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please....?
oh, well ain't this just a conveniently placed snowball on top of a very large hill.
-nudge-
3453939 You make a fanfic and nobody cares, but you make one Human in equestria fic and everybody just LOSES THEIR MINDS!
That... was funny. And had some amazing world building without going into high detail about it.
I can only imagine how Fluttershy will react to this...
Just a couple of requests:
1. Finish this story. It's interesting.
2. Then a prequel detailing the previous ten years. They sound interesting.
Aaaand love it.
Only putting this in my favorites since it intrigues me, and the read later function doesn't work properly.
Blue Eyes Pink Menace...Kaiba gonna sue somepony...
There have been days where saying this would've made me sound MORE coherent.
I think I'll keep track of this!
I like the characters (hoping for more description and development) and the promised plot. My only complaint is that the "past ten years" segment at the beginning fails to "show not tell," or is at least too damn short. You poke fun at stories where the protag is happy to lounge around in Ponyville, but at the same time you make the mistake of condensing any kind of scenario establishment into a series of undescriptive exposition paragraphs. Here's an example that jumped out at me:
Yeah, that's just serendipitous. There's nothing wrong with it being a funny coincidence, a fated meeting, or something jazzy like that, but at least give us some description other than "this happened, gee whiz how great was that." You have a ton of opportunity to establish characters that are humorous, sympathetic, or otherwise, so flesh out bits like these more and you'll have some quality set-up.
3453405>>3453417
That was the only thing you noticed wrong with the synopses...?
Weeeeell, how about...
...to find that not he has not only been...
Did you mean 'to find that not only has he been'? That isn't the only problem either, because the whole thing is a run-on sentence.
...passing, and the human-turned-dragoness...
Remove 'the' or the comma preceding 'and'. Next, you can remove the dashes from 'human turned dragoness'.
...gained a reputation as a member of a famed group of explorers traveling the world.
All that was said here was that MC has got a rep strictly because he/she is in a group of famous people. In other words, he/she is famous for being with other famous people. That's it. And making it even less noteworthy is that they don't even have a name, or a leader of note. They are just that one group that everyone kinda hears about every once in a while.
Never once had they ever set...
'Not once have they set...'
...and she was..
At this point, there are too many references to the MC that the MC just needs a name. Two options to fix this. Shorten the synopses, or just use the MC's name(s). Also, that sentence is another run-on and could use some breaking.
The sentence is too long for that type of question. I would shorten it by saying something along the lines of:
'So what happens when the group hears of fantastic tales of Equestria, and decide that it's time they paid a visit?'
Anyways, that is just the easy stuff. I'd go more into detail, but then I'd have to start charging consulting fees.
This is going to climb in the ratings, I just know it.
CONTINUE?
Yes <---
No
Please?
I like it, another. On a lighter note, I've begun sharpening my organ carving knifes in case the author cancels the fic.
You intrigue me. Please, write more. I want to watch this continue.
Oh please, good sir. May we have another? I wanna rub my face in it...I mean read it. Alot.
3454149 Aaaaand fixed. Thanks a bunch.
*taps fingers together* Interesting..... continue
I'll take my chances with the nuclear waffles.
I think they'll taste explosive.
Ok this is interesting. You got my attention.
3454245 is "Kaz" his actual name, or a name he made up?
3454271 It's a nickname.
GASP!!! WHY WOULD I PREVENT NUCLEAR WAFFLES?! They're fluffy, delicious, face-melting, goodness in a circle!
Interesting premise. I haven't finished the chapter yet, but I was reminded of a grammar rule that helped me out immensely when I learned of it. For showing things in the past, you have regular past tense, and for showing things even further in the past, you have perfect past tense. You know you're using perfect past tense when the word "had" crops up. The rule is that after you've established perfect past tense in a paragraph, you can drop it and use regular past tense for the rest of it without having to worry about things becoming confusing.
Oh man this is awesome! I hope you update soon. :D
Also, what is the approximate height of Kaz and the others compared to the ponies?
I have this feeling that she's around at least twice as tall as a regular mare...
this......is rather interesting.
i like
dam, this fic jumped from the bottom of the list strait to #1 in the time it took me to read the chapter. if that aint a hint, i dont know what is
3454304 I'd say that Kaz is around six feet tall, with Alcaeus being even taller, while Whitetail and Grizzly are about average for their respective species.
Must be frustrating for a work meant to ease writers block to be more liked than the story your trying to get inspired for. Still, I like the concept and I hope you can get another chapter out soon. I don't care much about how quickly the chapters after that come out, I just want to see this next scene between Spike and Kaz. Not to mention it is difficult to tell if a story is actually good from just one short chapter.
As for the writers block on what I'm assuming is your only other writing project at the time, how does that work? You're only about 6000 words in, you shouldn't be having to much trouble with knowing what to write next unless you didn't plan anything out ahead of time. I ask about the inner workings of your mind on the topic of writing because I like to know what stops other people from writing.
I personally find my own writers block to be in the form of laziness, as in I have a story near completely mapped out, but can't bring myself to sit down and write. In my case, if I manage to get myself going, I can easily pump out pages in one sitting.
Anyways, good luck and I hope you pump another chapter soon.
Interesting premise, I'm interested in seeing how Kaz bounces off the Mane Six. Added to favorites.
I like it but I still think she should of noticed that it was the library also is there a point to the dragon girl being a boy in the human world?