When Twilight takes a trip to Canterlot to see Cadence's ultrasound, she gets the shock of her life. Celestia has chosen a new personal student. The news sends her into a world of unknown fear and worry, forcing questions into her head. Will she be forgotten, has the distance between her and her teacher become too great, and how can she deal with that fear. With the help of her friends, she will learn a special something about mothers.
Art by post scripting
Twilight was too quick to leave, I feel like she would have said some more, then left. A few grammer errors here and there. However, the moral was a good one and the story was not unpleasant to read.
All in all, 7/10
This was a very sweet story!
I agree with Shattered-Rose. Twilight was too quick to jump to conclusions and left then what I'm normally used to seeing Twilight acting.
Perhaps you could have added her being excited for Celestia getting a new student only to have those personal doubts later.
But I like the fact that you use Moondancer and her experience to clear Twilight's doubts though. Nice touch.
I also like that you let Twilight visit a few of her close friends each giving their own back story but all have the common moral Twilight needs to hear.
But the cut scene could have been longer with Twilight having the courage to tell Celestia her doubts which leads to Celestia showing all the rooms she has kept untouched.
Overall it was a good read. Could have been better but for what it is. It's okay. Nice Job
-MixMassBasher
“Really?” asked Sunbeam." Who the hell is Sunbeam?
Yes this needs edited especially since you changed the new filly's name to Sunbeam after calling her Lightning Strike
BEST WAY TO DESCRIBE SUNSET SHIMMER EVER!
Great story
I can actually see this happening if Twilight hasn't seen Celestia for awhile. Have a like. However, the missing letters to words prevent me from giving a fav.
Sweet story, but please do a bit more proofreading. If it wasn't for the number of likes, I would have left at the very beginning due to the numerous grammatical errors littered throughout.
Aside from that, nice enough story.
I liked this story. It even got me thinking of an idea I thought of long ago.
That was great! Very heartwarming
Hah Final Fantasy references, I approve
This story made me cry when I read the part about Twilight's flashback. It reminds me of my teacher who had taught me in elementary school.
I feel this could have been handled better
Momejesty, lol
btw, you called the new student both Lightning Strike and Sunbeam.
Squall Leonheart
You magnificent bastard, you. Great story.
Bloody Brilliant, Mate!!! Great story and moral. You get ten out of ten.
P.S. Sorry about the British/Austalian stuff at the beginning. I need to cut back on the swaring, and that was the best way to do it for me!!!