• Member Since 7th Jan, 2015
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Penn Hooven


Writer and fanfiction reviewer. Feel free to say hi.

Comments ( 47 )

omg. That twist actually got me holy shit. I wont spoil it but wow dude amazing climax did not see that coming.:rainbowderp:

6383236 UUUGGG! I'm so sick of that song, yet I want to cry every time I hear it!

But seriously, if you play that in a loop while you read this, 8/10 it will make you cry.

6383404 Okay, but if you do, and it does make you cry, you have to post this story in every group you can, deal?

alright but if i dont wat do i get? actually im not that type of guy. regardless i think i will sense this story is really good. ill post either way.:pinkiesmile:

6383447 If you don't cry, and are honest about it, I'll follow you, so you have another follower. Deal?

......Well, um, okay. Pretty much when I saw the "special drink" I pretty much knew what direction this was going in and honestly part of me was hoping I'd be wrong.

Granted I do understand the idea behind it. In Equestria all the main characters are grown up and live in the same town, so them separating is next to impossible since they really don't have anywhere to go at this point and teleportation and such makes it easy to stay in touch. In the human world however, it's a different story especially with high school. High school friends in general aren't famous for being sturdy or strong and friendship can and do break apart with time.

Sunset herself likely wouldn't have any kind of place in the human world after graduation and wouldn't be able to stay aftr all is said and done, thus this moment would be heartbreaking for her and there would be a possible chance this sort of thing would happen......That being said it was still a little too dark and depressing for my taste, and frankly it wasn't what i was hoping to see.

Still not terrible and I get what you were going for. Not bad, but not something I'll read on a regular basis.

6383457 Thank you for taking a look at this. I do agree that if this were placed in Pony Equestria, graduation would not be a big deal; however, I do have a lot of unspoken background that I just didn't put into the story. Sometimes, that kills the story.

But, without writing a wall of text, all the girls are going to be leaving either for College, work or, in Rainbow's case, professional sports. So Sunset really did feel like they would all die alone.

Now, there's a lot I don't know in here, like how or why she came up and convinced the others to do what they did, but that adds to the mystery and sadness of it all. You really are seeing this as an outsider, not understanding the motives behind this. All you know is they welcomed it and all agreed on this point of action.

Again, thank you for your point of view. It does help.

it was upsetting and dark taking into account wat happens but it did get a tear outa me no lie. follow me if u want i dont really care at the moment sense i cant write anything but yes if u count one tear u win, i didnt bawl like a baby if that was wat u were after.
6383454

6383485

Not a problem, I actually wrote a story myself about a character with a somewhat similar viewpoint on friendship, though not as dark in "A Heart Encased in Stone" Check it out if you can.

Again, though I get the idea behind it, leaving behind friends hurts, a lot. I myself didn't have a lot of friends in High School so it didn't hurt nearly as much as it could have, but the idea that those fun times and experiences you have in high school being over forever, is a harsh thing to accept and frankly if I did have friends like the Mane 6, I'd be heartbroken to split up and move on, it would just be painful.

Anyway it was a decent story, even if it was a little too dark in some areas.

6383555 i cant believe i actually lost a bet in 6 minutes. i am NEVER gambbling:facehoof: and ill see wat i can do for u

6383582 :pinkiehappy: I can't believe I won! I'll follow you anyways. Thanks.

6383619 heh. Tell me. Was this actually dark? Like, scary dark? (I thought I did a poor job writing it)

6383648 Better question. Did you read Without a Butterfly?

Celestia's balls, this was twisted!! But so very well written!!

6383681
Very much so! Just the right amount of darkness. Subtle hints throughout the intro. The way each of the characters worded their dialogue. This was brilliant! Except, you know, in a dark way. :moustache:

6383742 T-thank you. I'm glad you really liked it.

I just reread my story, and I got chills.

6385535 No, but I wrote what there is of that story. That answers the question how dark I can get, thought I can't finish it...to disturbing. I'll be taking it down monday, so check it out while it's still there.

6383632 sure it was. i mean ive read even darker stories than this but yea id say its pretty dark.

Um... Well, I get that this story supposed to evoke some feeling but in my opinion, it's so over the top (I mean... Kill entire school just because you don't want to be separated from your friends) that my only reaction is something like "Teenagers... They stupid as hell".
Sorry, this is my opinion.

8288836
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. And when I read your comment I was like :rainbowlaugh: teenagers are stupid!

But think of all the over the top or dramatic stuff teens do because they think they know better or think their life is over.

While extreme, I could see them coming to this conclusion. My twisted logic I guess.

This caught my eye when I saw it shared the same title as one of my own stories. It actually surprised me as to the amount of content that was packed into 1.3k words. Very touching story.

orig12.deviantart.net/5b5e/f/2012/030/7/2/rainbow_dash_cries_by_ninjashade-d4o6rxv.gif

6383236

6383344

6383457

6383549

6383652

6386823

8288836

8289219
I added another chapter to this story. I hope you can find time to read it. I also hope that it adds more to the story. Enjoy.

After I read the first chapter I was really tempted to down vote this story for you killing off the Human Mane 6, but then I read the second chapter and found that the first was just a horror dream for Sunset Shimmer.

8291944
Thanks, but take another look. Was it just a dream? :pinkiecrazy:

Thanks again, I'm glad you liked it.

I have to say this chapter does have a couple dark innuendoes thrown back to the first one but I do believe it took away from the original, one-chapter version.

8319582
I kind of expected that it might, but there are some reasons behind why I did add a second chapter.

I feel so bad for not reading this sooner, i just saw the story had an extra chapter while looling through my read it later section. Anyway long story short i read it and thought it was a nice chapter, if ill be honest though it felt a little unnecessary considering the first chapter was great, a nice little taste of darkness. Ill admit the second chapter sorta made the whole feeling of the first chapter less impactful, though on the other hand the whole dream thing kinda makes it slightly more realistic considering its possible for Sunny to still have those thoughts, i don't know what to think honestly, Not trying to tell you how to write just suggesting that i felt like if sunset actually remembered the dream and kept it from the other girls you coulda had more to work with in terms of keeping the originals feeling, like maybe keep the references but at the end have sunset sorta start thinking about the dream,weather it was all possible,the future,her friends and everything then just have it end with her staring at the bottle contemplating what could or can happen. You know, like a pre quel

I just love the effect the second chapter has on the whole story, I mean, to see how Sunset reacts to the whole thing, it was quite funny and it adds that sens eof, was it really a dream? Are they in some kind of adterlife? And at the end, how she is like, meh, who cares, let's enjoy life. It was nice, it was different so yeah, it was good.

At the end of my graduation I was expecting the end credits to roll.

8467754
It's been a while since I read this one again myself, but I still got the same chills I did while writing it. Your opinion is valid, and I appreciate your input, but I'd like to draw your attention to something that might help you enjoy a little more of what I did in this work. The first chapter, while dancing around it, came out and told you what happened at the end, leaving you with the sense of sadness and finality of the story. The second chapter challenges that by taking something completely finished and spinning it on its head. Was it all a dream? Or is this the afterlife? Is Sunny seeing and hearing things that remind her of her last moments, or are they creepy coincident that lined up with her dream? Some say that ghosts are those who have passed on before resolving everything that ties them to earth, and I did state in the title page that this story was inspired by the anime Angel Beats, which is an anime about kids in the afterlife going to school to have the kind of life they never had.

So is all this really a tragic ending of life or a weird dream? It could go either way, and there's plenty of evidence to prove either ending. And there lies the horror. Because you just don't know.

Login or register to comment