Turned

by Doukzor

July 20- statistics

July 20

God, she knows a lot.

Me and Daze went out with Spotted Leaf for some, tests. Not exactly, but whatever. Spotted Leaf led us to some run down park. Only stupid teenagers would come here. And changelings, I guess. She took us over to some building. Looked like a bomb shelter gone wrong.

She told us we had a nice surprise coming, and just to stay calm when we saw this. I understand why now.
When we entered this iron door, it led underground. we came into this one, occupied, room. Occupied! With. The. Best. Thing. Ever.

Changelings.
About five actually. She introduced us to them. One small female one, with a yellow back, is called Dandelion.
Another one, this beefy scarred warrior, is called Blood Wing. Another one, with an orange back, is called Autumn.
This other female had a brown back, a lot of scars too, and she`s called Maple.
The last one was really a shy stallion with a blue back. He didn`t say much, except that his name was Silent Whisper.

Back onto training. We left the changelings as they went to go find food for the 'hive'.
I started with some simple spells. Mostly wards and stuff. Daze copied the moves well, and so did Spotted Leaf.
I wanted to see what she knew... I almost regret it.
She performed a large love sphere, consisting of green flames collected with love. She then did a complex ward, which Daze couldn`t get through. Neither could I, sadly.

She isn`t the best with flying though. Daze beat us as her regular form, me and Spotted Leaf just went as some random Pegasi.
We played a lot, to be truthful.
Tag, small battles, even a snow ball fight! I love ice magic...

After our 'training' session, it had already become midnight, so we called it a night and flew home together, got some coffee, and called it a night.
Spotted Leaf said she had something else to show us, when we had free time. Too bad I have a job now. Maybe Spotted Leaf will start letting us stay for free. Or maybe I can work with her.
Well, that`s all. Goodnight!

---

Comments

[Doukzor]

6209952 I.. uh... Let me explain.

I`m not interested in writing this story much. I put that other buildings had been attacked too

In that case, the changelings basically gave ponies a problem to deal with, causing less guards to be on daily patrols.

I was actually going to put that in later...

If you would like to help me, I`d rather appreciate it in when a changeling dies or changing the world for you. Here it is not needed, for I don`t care about this story much.

[Mix-up]

I think this story isn't haft bad, all doe I find that there are a few inconsistencies in it Like the main character taking about the crystal Empire barely after he was captured at the wedding. I don't get what he meant that Twilight was a traitor or that he used dark magic that was sort of suggesting that he is in line with Sombra, it is confusing. I know this was more or less a test for you to see if this could become a good story, I think so two,but I think it need a lot more work before it would ready. why did the main character seem to have escape the hive so easily any way? considering all the energy that the changeling of that hive used to change him I would have thing that they would have a better way to keep their new converts in there metes. if you are going to redoes this story I think it would be best that you live the pet dragon out of the story seeing that he serves not real purposes to help the main characters in his disguise. I how my opinion on the matte can help you on this.

[Doukzor]

6498963 thank you for the feedback!

Yeah, I could have changed A LOT in this story. And actually, I'm not really gonna go back and change it Especially since if I actually wrote this again, everything would be different in the sense of grammar, characters, and most of all the plot.

But if I did edit it, I definitely would take your info/advice into play. Thank you~ I'm glad you like the story!

[Doukzor]

6178170 aa I know this is a really, really late comment, but thank you so much for your constructive criticism! It's been a year or so but it has helped drastically~ :D