• Member Since 9th Feb, 2015
  • offline last seen Apr 27th, 2023

Doukzor


do I exist? Do you exist? Maybe neither of us exist, but instead simply are. crackers.

T

Were blamed for everything, even if it isn`t our fault.
Were insectoid ponies, fanged beings of only torture and rotten hell.
Yet, we live off love, see the contradiction there?
And now were at war, giving our life for our queen- so the hive can live, can exist a little while longer.
Gore tag for mentioning of blood and broken parts. Not imagery!:scootangel:
One-shot story. Gore tag for blood and other bodily deadly things.:twilightsmile:

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 24 )

Yay! this story was a SUCCESS!!! :pinkiehappy:
um, just wanted to say... I actually never intended the romance thing- it just CAME.
I`m so happy this was actually a success!!!! :pinkiehappy:
I`m going insane with happiness.:pinkiecrazy:

Is this done, or should I put it on tracking?
IT BETTER NOT BE DONE I CAN'T FIND ANY BLOODY GOOD STORIES

6057636 *sniff*What?:fluttercry:


6056211 It's...paced differently from what I'm used to, so I got caught off guard at first. It's very...gnya gnyah...descriptive with the combat. What I do like is that you gave another side to the changelings that comes from something other than just 'We hate our queen' or 'The last surviving changeling from Canterlot attack'.

It's also curious, although it feels a bit rushed, to see that the changeling actually felt love for something. Unfortunately, it met its end before getting to explore that.

I would change the positioning of the paragraphs and sentences, though. They look tremendously bizarre even if you're trying to imitate how an actual book works.

6057636 Yeah... No.
Sorry, but I like writing sad stories, so you can look forward to more!:twilightsmile:
(Thanks for being the first person -besides Psychopath, he gave help- to like my story enough to comment!:pinkiehappy:

6058714 Yeah... I was experimenting with this kind of writing style.
I kinda like it, but I understand- that yeah. I need to reposition some stuff.
Also, I think I did rush it a bit- I was trying to make it seem as if the changeling had something snap- he realized he loved Cocoa, but I went a BIT down-hill on that.
Though I must say, if I can simply keep up the 'experimenting' thing with this format, I think I could make it work eventually!:twilightsmile:

>> doukzor100 You should probably put it as complete then :fluttershyouch:

6059783 Yeah. Unless you experiment you'll never have something to improve upon.

6059807 Oh yeah... Heh, sorry!:twilightblush:


6059881 True!:twilightsmile:

Noone loved her but she had husband... what?

6147393 Eh, Um... Well, maybe he really liked her, more than any other pony had, was really nice and all, so she went with him. But then... things happened... like him drinking to much, too many brawls.... And when he was taken away she was really worried about him. But when the changeling was getting beat up, like her husband used to do to other ponies for money, she also kind of came to a realization. That he never loved her in the first place.:unsuresweetie:

Of course I never wrote that in, so right now it`s all up to the reader.:twilightsmile:

6147393 Or maybe. Maybe she was insane. Insane in Da Membrane.:pinkiecrazy:

I honestly don`t know, it`s like Steven King`s books. You have to make some assumptions or guesses for the gaps that are not explained.:scootangel:

But that was a good question.:raritywink:

This put tears in my eyes! :raritydespair: Good job

6168839 Thank you! I love writing sad stories, and, there is a lot more to come, one with Apple jack , Celestia and Fluttershy getting killed in the same story.:pinkiecrazy:

War stuff.... Yeah.:applejackunsure:

I must say, i`m morbid:derpytongue2:

6168857 Well...if you want to read something morbid, Dark Knight Strikes Again by Frank Miller.

6168868 I might just read that then~

6168959 Well don't...it's really bad...

I liked it. The romance probably could have been better developed, maybe having 'Stone Streak' being in the city a few days before the invasion and becoming friends with Cocoa. This was a really good idea though, definitely worth something rewriting into a longer version.

6169357 Thanks!~ Yea I never intended to add the romance, but when it came to me, I already had most of the story written out, so I just went with realization instead of long term.

But thank you!:pinkiehappy:

I may actually write a one shot in later days for that, though it will be a while due to another story:twilightsmile:

:fluttercry:

Damn it who is cutting onions?!:raritycry:

6606948 I is the culprit.:trollestia:
*I'm glad this made you cry. Er, as in, I'm glad it showed true to the tags!*:pinkiehappy:

6608076

In truth, I grow to love the changelings, and mourn for them in truth. They are just a sad species these days.

I want then strong, and them in harmony with the rest.

Maybe.

6612708 Me too.:moustache:
That's why I wrote this. Because it's a sad subject- even for me:twilightsmile:

DAMN YOU!!! This may not be the most well made fan fic, but now ya got me all teary eyed. *sniff* , just some dust in my eyes.

6857043 :3 you're very welcome X3
Yeah, the structure wasn't that great, I wrote it a while ago XP

Of course it's just dust:pinkiecrazy:

Reading this physically hurts me. I haven't written like this since middle school, maybe even before that. Oof. I can't even finish it and it's short AF.

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