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Twilight Sparkle, brand new alicorn princess has a problem. Her cutie mark is charred into her floor. If you're Twilight though any problem can become a solution! What better way to study the effects of the Elements of Harmony?
If only she hadn't heard it...
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Very interesting story, if a little too short. I would really like to more of this.
you leave very many questions with this. Why would the Elements kill her and how can Celestia keep her soul from going on and make an alicorn body for it?
This needs more.
Creepy.... creepy.... creeps.
WHY SO CREEPY?! Still, I have to agree with others... MOAR!
I think it's a bit harshly tagged. I'd remove "dark" and "sad".
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Oh wow the first three comments all wanting more... Well lets see if more comments like this come! Maybe!
5798243 *clones my comments*
5798243 it's because how you left it. You are the second person i've seen do the idea that Twilight died ascending but the reason he gave far different. You left us all with the big question. WHY?
this definitely needs more!
I think it's excellent where it is. Also, am I reading too much into it, in thinking that Twilight IS actually dead, and she wasn't resurrected into an Alicorn body, but rather her soul is being kept in a dream-state and Celestia is lying to her? Celestia's reaction makes it sound more like Twilight did actually die.
Wow! This has a bit of a twist, eh!? I like it. Everyone is right....this needs more. This is just the start of a deep story. Great work, Foals. Nice to see you back.
This was fascinating! I wonder if there are any other ponies Celestia or Luna kept from dying? Although I suppose they'd have to be aware of the death as it occurs to intercept the soul before it reaches the afterlife, and Death might not fall for the same trick twice... or something along those lines.
This fits nicely into my headcanon that the field of stars where Twilight ascended was actually a location between life and the afterlife. I imagine immortals periodically visiting to avoid the Immortality Blues.
Could the Elements have turned on her due to the plunder vines beginning to infect the Tree of Harmony? Getting rid of the Elements certainly becomes an easier decision when they try to kill you.
This leaves me with so many questions. Did the elements kill her on purpose? Is Twilight a ghost in a shell? It's a good story but I think you should expand it or write a sequel of some sort.
I'm going to echo everyone else's thoughts here and say that, yes, this is over far too quickly. I was under the impression reading it the other night that it was going to be around 5–6k words, but as it is, there are too many questions left in the wake of revelations.
Yes, you wrote something different from fluff for a change, but even so, you appear to have tried to give this story a fluffy ending. It doesn't feel very dark at all, or tragic for that matter. All I'm reading here is a ploy for sympathy, but I don't feel the deep connection to Twilight or Celestia that your pitch attempted to deliver.
There's tissue here, but no organs.
Sorry, Foals. I can't like this one until you tie up all of your loose ends.
Tagged as Twilestia fic - no romantic
sadfrog u_u
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I see no [Twilestia] tag anywhere.
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It's in the Twilestia group, but it's actually in"dark / non-romantic".
That's what shipping goggles are for!
5798243
"acclarent" should probably be accelerant, if you mean a substance that aids in combustion.
Ahhh, this old chestnut. I had a similar but never completed idea like this, but that she wasn't actually twilight, but a doppelganger. All alicorns were. Oh well, you beat me to the punch.
Great story foals!
Oh yikes. The Elements killed her? Damn, the Tree of Harmony suddenly stopped seeing so Lawful Good...
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See also...
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Probably something like, "The pony you see in the mirror isn't Twilight. You're actually a clone of the original, who was killed by her friends and the supposedly-Harmonius artifacts they wielded."
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You're thinking of "Not so Magical Mystery Cure". Here, Twilight had a new body built around her soul. In NsMMC, she's stuck in limbo and only thinks she was revived. ...or I think that is the case. The story is still on my "Read Later" pile.
I enjoyed this. Just a little bit Dark, but since Twilight is clearly still alive and not a copy, I can't say I would consider it Sad or fully Dark.
It could probably get darker/sadder if the Five ever find out that they actually did kill Twilight. Sure, she came back, but still... Knowing that you basically burned your friend to to a smear of ashes can't possibly be good for your peace of mind.
As for why the Elements blasted Twilight? Well... Maybe magical overload? With nothing to cleanse or purify, all that raw energy just discharged into her with unsurprisingly destructive results. Hell if I know.
This was good! I want to read more!!!
Well this one was a little dark, but it was enjoyable. I love the fan interpretations of Twilight being killed during Magical Mystery Cure. Mostly because there are so many directions it could go. From this explanation to everything after her ascension being some kind of afterlife.
I'll see you at the next chapter.
Um...perhaps because you used dark magic after only seeing it being used once?
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Isn't that how ascension works? You must first die to begin ascension.
Why was the burn mark in the shape of her cutiemark?
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Well, but the story is marked as 'incomplete.' There might be more to come, that would make those tags more reasonable.
...a promising start.
Yes! More please!
I, wow, I...was not expecting that. Wow.
This was wonderful-quite a shock, but it makes sense. We had never seen the Elements act separately nor had we seen Them activate without the bearers' command. I quite like this idea. Though, it's is pretty morbid to think the elements killed one of their bearers.
A very enjoyable read.
It didn't steal the amount of feels as I anticipated, but you still took quite a few.
I loved the story!
I don't think it needs more. I think you were right to mark this as complete.
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Thank you, I agree I just don't know anymore where I could have taken this.
Dark but interesting. One must wonder why the Elements physically harm her
I honestly thought the ending was perfect. Just enough darkness and Celestia's promise was such a good note to leave off. It really brought home just how shooken up Twlight's death had the princess and the lengths she would go to save Twilight. Good stuff honestly
Strange ... I thought Twi's death and rebirth had been the accepted mature interpretation of that episode's canon all along.
Good fic, tho. Always enjoy Momlestia-Twiggles interactions. Oh, and Spike saving her rump by being the level-headed wingman that he is.
Dying and rebirth is one of the popular beliefs of what happened when Twilight ascended along with transformation, teleportation, or basically both.
Why the elements killed her? Don't know, but I do like the idea that Twilight was rebirthed rather the idea of Twilight being a clone, that would probably traumatize her for sure.