• Member Since 27th Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen Nov 6th, 2015

Luigilewis889


E

It was the knocking that woke Twilight.

It was midnight. Why someone was knocking on her door at midnight was beyond her, and she’d just gotten to sleep. She glanced out the window, seeing Pinkie in front of the door, standing in the rain, mane flattened. Whatever she wanted, it looked serious. She stumbled downstairs, still half-asleep, and grabbed the door with her magic, yanking it open. Pinkie just stood there, staring. Twilight started to talk in an attempt to get Pinkie to respond.

“Pinkie, are you-“

“I’m dying.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: A really random idea I had and had to try to write down. Not quite a Random category, though, I think.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 57 )

"I'm dying"

[looks at tags] Comedy? and no tradgedy/sad tag? WTF?

What is is a crossover with, by the way?

1787163
It's never sad when a Time Lord regenerates, it only means that there are new adventures on the way.

1787163
with Dr.Who apparently(i don`t know if it really is since i have never watched Dr.Who in my life but from what i`ve heard when the doctor dies he reappears again with a new body which is exactly what happened with Pinkie here)

Interesting.

1787173>>1787181
A Doctor Who crossover? With Pinkie as a Time Lord?

Thats intersting enough to earn a place on my read later list.

Oh, and Germgod? As a Brit, it is my duty, nay, my responsability, to order you to watch some Doctor Who.:moustache:

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Vaguely interesting as ideas go, but not particularly well executed.

Professor Whooves - 8ish hours to approve. 2 to 3 days later - 2 comments that aren't mine

The New Pinkie - Less than 2 hours to approve and get 5, no wait, 6 comments

Holy.
Hell.

1787163

It's not really that sad, and also, Pinkie.

1787173

Agreed.

1787181
1787193

As another Brit, I support the command that you go watch Doctor Who

1787187

That sounds... ominous.

1787213

Yeah, well, I don't have a proofreader, I hate editing, and I wrote this in about 3-4 hours. Also, if you are in need of more vaguely interesting or completely off the rocker, or actually-not-that-bad-just-needs-a-decent-author ideas, don't hesitate to ask.

So just got round to reading it, and yeah, interested to see where this goes, but it felt a little short to me. I think you jumped to Applejack a little to quickly, and I am not quite sure why you chose Applejack. Why not any of the others, surely they should all be there?

So yeah, interesting, but I felt rushed through it, there wasn't any time to build up suspense—You gave me no reason to care that Pinkie was dying, other than the fact that she is Pinkie. Guide me through what your characters are feeling. You describe Twilights feelings as:

That simple sentence, those two words, completely silenced Twilight. She didn’t know what to say. She’d never been in any situation like this.

and Applejacks as:

The same words had an almost identical effect on Applejack. She just stared at Twilight, as if she’d grown an extra head.

Theres no emotion to it, its just...words on a page. Show me how shocked and confused they are, let me see their thoughts, their reactions. Not just "they were stunned."

A concept such as this should make me have feels (I know your aiming for comedy overall, which is no bad thing, but I believe that comedy can be enhanced with a small dollop of bittersweatness(but that just might be me)), but all I got from it was: Twilghts sleepy, now Pinkes dying, oh hey AJ, TARDIS, regen, unicorn. Don't be afraid to drag it out. Heck, worst case scenario have Pinkie reminisce about old times, with Applejack and Twillight confused as to why Pinkie is bringing up these memories.


So yeah, intersting, and I will happily follow it, but it felt rushed and...shallow, I think is an appropriate term.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

1787219
Actually, I don't even mean editing. It's more that there just aren't enough words here to really properly explore the idea, or even make it effective. A bit more emotional impact at first might help, to really build up the tension before releasing it. Granted, by the time it got to Pinkie talking about her "hearts", I figured it out, and that deflated any possibility for emotional engagement. At that point, I just watched the joke, if you will, play itself out as more or less expected.

But this really doesn't exist as anything beyond "Pinkie is a Time Lord", and as such doesn't really hold any impact of its own.

1787372

Yeah, I didn't really take this seriously. It was just a bit of fun, and an idea that had been bugging me for a while that I wanted to get down. Apologies.

Pinkie is the new 10th Doctor.:pinkiegasp:

1787400

Nope! Pinkie isn't the Doctor. I've actually got something kinda planned with the Doctor being mentioned, but probably no Doctor appearance.

1787309

Yeah, I know I'm not exactly the best writer. I've always been better at coming up with ideas than putting them onto paper and... Wow, that came out a lot more depressing than I intended.

Also, on a side note, feel free to nick any ideas of mine you like. I'm not overly protective of them, and would like to see them in the hands of a better author. If any decent authors show interest in my work... I get really depressing without realising it.

1787466
To be honest, I am not exactly an amazing author myself. I have grown to be good at anaylsing other people's stories, but when it comes to my own stuff I struggle to see past the vision in my head. And don't even get me started on my dialogue (dull and bland :fluttershbad:). My true talent lies in world building, not character interactions.

Still, I must admit that this has given me an intersting idea for a story. Whether or not I find time to act on it, is another matter (what with trying to write 4 stories at once).

This is an interesting idea. Very good idea that would seem to be good expanded on.

I got into this story expecting something sad or tragic (not noticing the lack of sad tags).
Then I got to the part with the bigger-on-the-inside box.
I put two and two together and my brain froze for a minute or so. :pinkiegasp:
This. Is. Fucking. Genius. :pinkiehappy:

soo i take it pinkie is a timelord but not the doctor though she knows who the doctor is

So Pinkie Pie's a timelord, who'd have guessed? :trixieshiftright:

1787173 The 10th's doctor regeneration from what I've heard was very sad, he even said "I don't wanna go!" :fluttershysad:

1788787
Okay, you got me there. It wasn't entirely sad though, it gave way for another equally great Doctor.

1788072

... Okay... Please tell me that's not normal for you... I have a long stick.

1787724
1787922

Wait... People like it? That's fanTAStic!

1788408

You are indeed correct with your hypothesis.

1788787
1788807

It was sad, untill Matt Smith. Matt Smith is the Pinkie Pie of the Doctors. Example quote (from my shoddy memory) to prove this:

Ooh, a shiny thing. This is what brought me here, Love shiny things. They have my name written all over them. But not literally. Give me time. And a crayon.

Yes This is deffinatly a good looking story and I would love to know how it goes.

1788807 Well I wouldn't know because I haven't seen any of "Doctor Who" really aside from bits and parts on the internet. It's among my list of shows to eventually watch. :eeyup:

1790170
Don't do it unless you can handle the feels.

1790176 Well I watched "Transformers The Movie" (G1 not Michael Bay) and although I was a little saddened by Optimus Prime's death as well as the death of many other characters I managed to watch it through to the end. But I guess I'll have to wait and see. Doctor Who will have to wait until I finish watching the rest of "Transformers G1" though, by the way Optimus Prime's death in "Dark Awakening" was more of a tear jerker in my book since we get our hopes up thinking he's going to come back and then he pulls a heroic scarifice at the end. What really got me is Rodimus Prime's line immeditaly after said scarifice "This nova will be his memorial. I don't know if I'll ever be as good a leader as you were but I'm sure gonna try." (The nova was was the remaints of a trap set up by the Quintesions. You refers to Optimus.)

Holy shit!
Was not expecting that! :pinkiegasp: :pinkiecrazy:

1790015

Thank the Gods. I can finally put this overly large stick away.

1790170
1790176

Yeah, DW can get a bit emotional.

1791412

NOBODY EXPECTS THE LUNA INQUISITION!

1787309

Ooh, just read your comment thouroulgy better, and realised the Applejack question. Well... I have a plan to help explain to the two... and it involves Applejack... and Pinkie would prefer to keep as many people in the dark as possible, Twilight being a special case as... you'll find out.

:pinkiegasp:...Continue?

1803014

Yeah, sorry. I take approx. x days to get round to writing it, and 3-4 hours to write it, so... next chapter'll come out eventually... don't kill me.

1803016:rainbowhuh:Kill you? When you're in the process of writing a story? Never! I'm trying to write one myself, and I know it can't be rushed. Take your time, I can wait.:pinkiesmile:

1803070

Umm... no reason why I thought that. It's not like I've had to kill off people who have tried to kill me for similarish reasons and dump the bodies in the local swimming pool or anything. Heh heh heh.

1803075........Dude.:ajbemused:Don't even joke about doing that kind of thing. It's not okay. I may be able to take it in stride, but there are some real jerks who would report you for even suggesting that. :ajsleepy:Lost a great writer on Fanfiction because someone couldn't take a joke, I'd rather not see that happen here.

1803119

Right... There goes half my jokes.

1803127 I only mean in comments. In story you can get away with that kind of jokes, no problem. It's the comments you got to watch what you type. People can be so sensitive, it's almost ridiculous.

Time lord Pinkie is best Time lord. Nuff' said.

Kay,this does bot realate to this story at all,but I'm watching garfiend and his (not)pal nermal came over and said he needed his/her(it's unknow whether nermal's a girl or a boy) cutie sleep.:twilightsmile:If you don't understand,watch garfield.:duck:

Huh...
Written wonderfully, but a tad strange direction. Ah'm curious. :rainbowhuh:

1851971

Strange and utterly bizzare directions are my speciality, my good sir/ma'am/whatever-that-thing-is-in-the-closet.

When do we get a new chapter??? i read the first chapter so long ago i can even remember anymore.

2078053

Well, I have school, and sort of have writers block at the moment, so... soonish?

Unexpected.
Will be watching.
:pinkiehappy:

Might have been more intresting if Applejack's old foalsitter had been somepony else which turned out to be Radiant (which is what I'm calling the new Pinkie Pie) in a different life. :eeyup:

Still very good so far. I just hope the Daleks really are dead although something tells me they aren't. :trixieshiftleft:

2121060

Yeah, well, considering a few factors, including the fact that Applejack's foalsitter was probably only 15-ish years ago, and if a Time Lord (I still call female Gallifreyans Time Lords) isn't in mortal danger every 30 seconds, a regeneration can last them years and years, also the fact that it wouldn't have the same effect if it wasn't Pinkie, and I'm not making any sense anymore am I? Yeah.

Also, when are the Daleks ever dead? And remember, Pinkie doesn't know everything. No matter how much she seems like it.

2121075 Uh-oh Ponyville is about to come under fire from something it's never seen before. Imagine the Daleks surprise when they discover their arch enemy has regenerated. :pinkiegasp:

hmmmm only thing im wondering is why she never told them before when she was pinkie.... why now?:derpyderp1:

2121075...Including the fates of others, right?

2122448

Considering how much I said at once, which part are you directing that to?

2122154

Face it. If you were an alien being with more power in a single cell than the monarch of the land, you wouldn't want anyone knowing. The regeneration is forcing her to do something she wanted to do, but was sort of scared to do; get help.

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