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A lot can happen in 20 years.
Ponies and places can change, but there are some things, like friendship, that may never change.
After encountering a new villain, Twilight wakes up 20 years in the future. Now facing a whole new set of problems and challenges, Twilight must join the fight for survival in a world gone insane.
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Pretty nice start.
The plot seems like it's going to be very interesting. I'm a sucker for those stories about one of the mane six getting sent into the future. As far as grammatical errors go, I don't see very many. Sure, there are some, but they're not big enough or abundant enough to hinder the reading.
The only thing you could improve on is your descriptions and your pacing. I feel that when you describe an event occurring in the story, you tell it, rather than show it. Catch my drift? As far as pacing is concerned, I feel as if you move a little too fast. But then again, broadening your descriptions would help that matter.
Minor issues aside, I think you have a really good story, and I am eager to read the next chapter.
5456470
Thanks for the tips! It's always extremely helpful when I get a reader's opinion and I'm definitely going to keep these pointers in mind while writing the next chapter (which is nearly done with the rough draft). I'm glad you still enjoy and are interested in the story regardless of it's faults and I hope the next chapter turns out better with pacing and descriptions.
Thanks again!
5456619
You're very welcome.
I'm glad my advice could be of use to you.
Dat title doe.
5458602
I've heard of that song before, but the title's similarity is completely unintentional lol
Very nice chapter.
Your descriptions and pacing are much better here compared to the prologue.
Can't wait to see more!
Another thing I'd recommend is finding a cover photo for your story. Even if it's just a picture of flames, it'll grab the attention of more readers.
5459786
5460596
Thanks, I was hoping the pacing and descriptions had turn out better! Were it not for feedback, I'd have no idea how it's turning out. lol
As for the cover photo, I do have one in mind, just with being home for the holidays I lack the supplies to make it. I do appreciate the tip though, most people probably wouldn't bother to give the suggestion to have one.
This is good. I don't say that often. Continue.
5463284
A lot of times I find myself skipping over stories that lack cover art, so I thought it would be nice for this story to have one.
5463303
Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying it so far!
Yay, I'm awesome. You are awesome. This story is awesome.
6084191 Agreed
Cool, good to see an update, but dang cliff hanger lol let's see ya work
The cliffhanger burns my soul XD.
Is this story still alive? I would be really sad to see it go.
6973182
I wouldn't call it dead quite yet. I've had a lot happening recently...plus a couple months ago I lost the next chapter when my computer's hard drive failed. It's coming though, know that for sure.
Hope to see you continue.