Lyra has been dating her human coltfriend for a little while now and wants to start a herd with Bon Bon. The problem is, Bon Bon doesn’t want to accept her feelings for the strange creature. Can the earth pony find love with the bizarre human?
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Loved it
Can't wait for part 2!
Dusty's cute. Will we see more of her?
A very nice chapter. You did a soulful description of the herd philosophy you want to transmit here.
You set up the scene and Chris's and Lyra's complimenting each other wonderfully and you got the focus well with BonBon.
Showing her to slowly opening up to the idea of interacting with Chris, but at the same time showing her internal struggle with her unusual innate fear of him.
Narratively the chapter was a very good one. Just like the last ones. But I had the feeling once or twice that the pacing wasn't that evenly distributed here. I couldn't put my finger on it but I think it's been at the scene with Dusty, although that showed the ponies acceptance and positive relationship with him pretty well.
Anyway, all in all the chapter was well written and I enjoyed it just as much as your previous chapters.
Hope to see the next one soon
While saying "MORE" is a tad redundant, knowing that you have at least 2 more parts almost ready; still I venture forth:
MORE!
You better elaborate on that not-so-subtle jab at Flutters being an erotic writer.....
Hell, perhaps that could even become a spinoff story.....
Lyra didn´t pick Chris for his smarts, did she?
5690572 bro that's actually as fannon as a human obsessed Lyra. Theres got to be at least 100 stories about it.
>Yellow Quiet
Top kek
From the moment you mentioned the restaurant catering to Chris' meat-eating diet, I know where this is going; Bonny's not gonna like the human ordering meat.
little box eh? i bet its jewelry, like a necklace or something!
Thank you, I really enjoyed the read...
But is Fluttershy writing shipfics...
"Yellow Quiet", eh? I wonder who that could be? Hmmm...
Joking aside, I love the description and setting of the Everfree Moon, and its hostess, Star Dust, is just so adorable!
5690770
Whops! That was a mistake... It's not a little box. And it's holding 2 things for Bon Bon. So who knows what it could be.
5690803
Yeah I have NO idea who Yellow Quite could be. Also all bat ponies are adorable!
5690783
M-maybe...
5690753
You might be surprised.
5690668
Yeah, not his strongest attribute.
5690572
Pretty sure there are a bunch of stories like that already, but it would be fun to write something like that lol.
5690548
I think I know what you mean about the pacing, but a lot happens in this chapter, and I was trying to condense things so it wasn't a million words long. But I'm glad you could still enjoy this part!
5690541
I do plan on her returning at some point.
5690684 I'm more interested in how Applejack would see right through that extremely crappy lie and how Flutters's friends would deal with it
5691087
i.imgur.com/FL6IGsN.jpg
It's sweet and a little amusing how Bon Bon is starting to warm up to Chris, but not really realize it herself. Really excited for the next chapter now!
5690996 easily, Applejack wouldn't draw the link between an erotic novel, assuming she ever even read it, and Fluttershy. Nopony ever expects the quiet one. Your assuming that Applejack would ever even mention it to her.
This is a good chapter I love it
I believe that's that annoying little emotion called guilt.
Can't wait to see how the rest of the date goes.
5691120 shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
plotlinesssssssss
5691182
5691643
There is a changeling named Ember? Explain yourself.
Oh, Chris? I think you'll find that this "Yellow Quiet" is much closer than you think...
Although, I can imagine RD's reaction to finding out "Yellow Quiet's" true identity:
5691103
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Nice chapter, but there's a minor thing I'd like to bring up.
I suggest adding an "a" between "also" and "slightly".
I think Bon Bon may react badly to Chris eating meat, I'm looking forward to her reaction to that.
5691723
That was awesome. I would call a sex line if Fluttershy worked there. And poor Rainbow.
5691756
I remember this fic! I have it in my read later shelf lol. Sadly, my Ember is not a changeling sorry.
Why? Why does everyone who used 'Fluttershy gives a book to {Insert Name Here}' seem to automatically tagline a name that basically says "Fluttershy Wrote This" For that matter, why do people want to make Fluttershy a closet erotic romance novel writer?
Just going by the words you use to describe Chris' hands, I'm starting to think Bon Bon's less of a close-minded xenophobe, and has more of an innate phobia of spiders, arachnids, arthopods, or other types of insects with long, spindly legs.
5692002 Because it plays into the stereotype of "It's always the quiet ones".
5692002
Honestly I knew others poked fun at Fluttershy for the whole 'she is a closeted pervert' thing, but I didn't think it was THAT popular of a thing to do lol.
And you could be on to something there about her hand fears.
We are all creatures of memory. Who we are today is based solely on what we remember. Past experiences forge and guide our actions, and like puppets in a play, we all dance to the tune of that predetermined fate. sometime we doing some stupid quest. simple, mastubation.
Let the Love Grow.
Is there anyway we can clone you? You're a fantastic artist and a great author so it's unfortunate that you can only do one at a time. We need one to art, one to write, and potentially one to work a job to support the other two. Think of the potential productivity.
Really enjoyed this chapter! No complaints really. Looking forward to the next chapter, and I would LOVE to see a drawing of their outfits.....well, one can hope.
5691723 Wow you must have read my mind Jimbo, that's exactly what I was thinking.
Holy crap the live reader count is 25 as of me reading this
I'll just list a few minor mistakes I found while reading.
Heh, I find this one a little funny seeing as you have both "you're" and "your" in the same sentence.
I only managed to find these two mistakes while reading, but I guess "Every little bit counts" right? (This is also quite a good thing, seeing as the amount of mistakes have gone down )
Moving on, I quite liked the story arc overall and also was enraptured by the amount of detail you put into describing the restaurant interior. Plus I have to admire your imagination for creating such an amazing and awesome restaurant. Why doesn't something like this exist .
Gah I love listening to chill trap while I read, although don't ask me how I retain my reading comprehension
Cheers!
5692351
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Batponies is best ponies. Loved the chapter, you really know how to build up the tension, I don't know if I can wait for the next installment! If only Bon-Bon could get over her fear of Chris' hands. . .
Wow.......Having a girlfriend that acted the way Lyra was to Bonbon, i honestly don't Think i could possibly be that openminded, i mean imagen being on a date and your girlfriend is acting like the part the guy usally takes towards Another woman, and you just stand there in a corner looking at them........wow, talk about being akward.
5692238
Man if only... then I could illustrate this while I write it!
can't what till part 2 ill just use this time machine to skip ahead to the next chapter
...I mite of gone a bit to far()
Anyone else half expecting the bat ponies to break out in "Be Our Guest" there at the end?
Love the chapter, can't wait to see where this is going!
i very much enjoyed this chapter and will await the next one
Another good chapter, you definitely do a good job with the whole herd thing. So far, your characters feel pretty believable.
Im going to have to "replace" your editors if they don't get a move on with their job
I still don't accept the idea that Equestrian ponies are polygamist in nature. This idea just stems from the fact that the mare to stallion ratio in earlier seasons was so overwhelming. I mean it was a cartoon with a full on female main cast. So it was expected more of the ponies would be female. Still for the most part even in the cartoon ponies were not polygamists. Look at the examples... Shining Armor and Cadence. The Cakes. ig Mac and Cheerliee (never really a true couple, but still the point is made).
Though in this instance I will let it slide as I truly like Bon Bon and Lyra as a couple.
Not to sound too rude or judgmental, but Bon Bon is stammering way too much in this chapter
Looking forward to see how this goes.
Little typo: