Lyra has been dating her human coltfriend for a little while now and wants to start a herd with Bon Bon. The problem is, Bon Bon doesn’t want to accept her feelings for the strange creature. Can the earth pony find love with the bizarre human?
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Still don't like him? don't worry. that gonna be good...time.
Wow... Just like my Cat.
This. This is what bonbon think. fc01.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/339/2/3/bed_time_is_magic__3_by_tritebristle-d5n46n7.png
Lyra using Message.
It's Super Effective!
Godamm
It would be interesting to have other ponies chatting about Lyra's colt friend, and what they say about it.
While some would be totally against it, I'm sure others would be more supportive.
Yeah, you really need to get Chapter 3 out. For reasons. Reasons totally unrelated to how badly I want to read it.
Though you shouldn't sell yourself short. You're still the one weaving the tale. I just helped you polish it a little. It's all still you.
Also, Acceptance-ball Z makes me think about Bon Bon accepting ballz into her life, which I find infinitely amusing. Hopefully that trend will continue after her date with Chris! (Doh-ho-ho-ho! I shouldn't be allowed to do humor.)
Well, I wasn't expecting that.
There's a lot of potential here, but it really needs a good polishing, consistency-wise.
For some reason a bunch of words are missing, is this intentional or is it an error?
5633564
Google docs keeps doing that to me... For some reason every time I upload a chapter form google, it takes out random things. Do you remember we're stuff was missing? I'll go back and read it to see if I can find it.
I really like how you expressed Bon's feelings about the whole thing. How much a human would be so foreign and stuff. It's intriguing and captivating. How do you write so much? I try to write and I see that I only get to 2000 words. I wonder what place Lyra is talking about. Keep up the nice work, dude.
5633528
Oh shoot. Can you remember what you thought wasn't consistent?
Wow. I have to thank you and your editors for -again- a fantastic chapter.
The way you handled Bonbon was superb.
Mixing her xenophobic disgust of Chris with traumatic experiences with males in general has made her auto-aversions against him much more believable. You are absolutely right, this chapter was really important as it developed her character tremendously.
I can't wait for the next chapter. I bet it won't just be sexy later on but heartwarming as well, seeing how Chris's kindness towards her will gain her trust and change her perception of him.
I said it earlier but I say it again. I'm honestly surprised just how well this story is written. Categorising this as mere clop would be insulting.
This is both, a well narrated character study and an adults story and it's a great pleasure to read it. Kudos to you Pusspuss2
a date.
Funny you mention to to find a rainbow. I was just comparing the two stories. They are both tied for my favorite fics at the moment. I prefer how you separate the clop thought. There are times when one can't read clop. Like at work....
Keep up the great work, can't wait for the next chapter.
5633456
We might see this on the date?
5633482
Nah man. You guys really helped me a lot. I was so happy that you caught that. And chapter 3 is coming! But its a big one... A really big one... A lot happens and its another one of those chapters that sets the mood for the rest of the story... Got to get it right.
5633509
Explain? What did you not expect?
5633565
Yay! The dark side is the best side.
5633606
How do I write so much? I really have no clue... and honestly these chapters where supposed to be like 5k works... But I just kept going.
5633747 Honestly? I wasn't expecting Bon Bon to say yes. At least this quickly. Hell, if she can give one single genuine reason why she doesn't like him (that doesn't mention the way he looks) then I congratulate her, because he seems like a perfectly pleasant young man.
.....I'm certainly not complaining, though.
5633763
Hey it took her several months to say yes. Lyra had been bugging her about it for a while lol.
This chapter is almost full of love and romantic, I wish i have something like that.
Fucking valentine day. I feel so lonely. I don't have many friend much. they not even invite me to the wedding. only thing to do this, sit and read.
new2.fjcdn.com/comments/At+least+you+can+still+talk+to+your+father+_1ddd5060fc5a3f192d33a8c1cabda90f.jpg
5633625
Wow! Again thank you! It makes me happy that you can really enjoy my story. It's why I started even doing this in the first place, so getting comments like that really make me feel good about making the choice to do this.
Also you should tell me what you think once the next chapter is out. It's going to be an interesting one.
Everyone understands that it will take about thirty episodes before Goku saves his friends.
5633792 1.bp.blogspot.com/--GnU2_vEfmw/VF5DqqNOHXI/AAAAAAAAAIk/OCxGSCJZvUs/s1600/15474_799356380127418_7871692125940196349_n.jpg
5633803 Wait...Why Goku involved in this? ops wrong post.
5633642 troll.me/images/monocle-guy/very-good-sir-very-good-indeed.jpg
5633824 You son of bitch.
myfunnyreaction.com/media/k2/items/src/e92dc519c3c1d0000e5795e41f4c6df5.jpg
5633867 I can't resist! It was the perfect opportunity!
5633881
5633824 booth of YOUUDIE IN HELL YOU SON BITCH YOU HURT MY FIRNELLNIG!
5633892 U mad bro? Hahaha, Alright let stop here. you need to chill kid. it just a internet. here are nothing to worry about.
If you feel sad or lonely. why you not go do some masturbating?
Oh wait, when you "lonely" I think, you already masturbating right?
Don't worry this is just an after effect of masturbating. You will be horny in the next 5 mins.
5633892 I do not wish to be offensive, to you, nor was I part of the conversation between you and this fellow. I do however, will tell you this. troll.me/images/empathetic-shark/there-there-its-all-gonna-be-okay.jpg
I really liked it. Though more f the begigning section where bon bon is just thinking about her shop and what to do. I'm really hoping it doesn't take just one date, but that she is just open to more dates afterwards. Overall very enjoyable chapter.
5634068
Heheh... Oh it will take more... trust me. I think you might like what happens on the date.
Loving this story more and more. It was definitely a wise choice to soften up Bon Bon's character to make her more likeable. Now I could be wrong but from the way you've written her, it seems that part of her problem with Chris seems to stem from a deeper issue she has with stallions altogether.
5634194
It is part of it, but not the whole reason.
5633622
I meant writing consistency. You keep flip-flopping between POV. Other minor issues too. Nothing outright marring the story, but it's enough to keep it from being as good as it can be.
Damn. Not often that the site's front page make me go
And it's a sequel to a story that I rather liked, to boot! Doubled fun and all that good stuff!
5634314
Oh, like how I'm telling it from 2 characters perspectives at once? Or how this whole chapter was from just Bon Bon's perspective only compared to the first chapter were it was Lyra and Chris's perspectives?
I'm new to writing so I'm still trying to learn as much as I can to make a better story. I made this chapter (or tried to) from Bon Bon's eyes only since I really wanted to focus on her more.
you know, i wonder if bon bon has arachnaphobia, maybe thats why his hands are so scary
Good story, not often I can say that I like a clopfic or a HIE fic. I pretty much did a reading marathon on this and Lyra's confession today because it was so good. I think it helps that your stories were well written and the clop scenes felt natural and believable. Plus, it does help that I'm a fan of the stories where herds/mares outnumber the stallions. I also appreciate that you have the clop in a separate chapter so I know to read those chapters after work to avoid any complications from reading a clopfic...
I must admit that Bon Bon's desire for a foal and Lyra's insistence that it is possible has me intrigued and is something I wouldn't mind seeing...
That was a really nice chapter, but there's some things you may want to edit.
This may just be me, but I think that should either be "foals" or "fillies and colts".
That should be "drinks".
That should be "pegasi".
That should be "Lyra's".
That should be "father's".
That should be a question mark.
That should either be "Princess" if Bon Bon's only referring to Cadance or "Princesses" if she's referring to all of them.
This is the only time you spell her name as "Cadence" instead of "Cadance".
And that should be "unicorn's".
5634411
You'll see.
5634421
Oh thank you! I'm happy that you could enjoy this even if it wasn't really something that your normal into.
And I don't want to say much about the having a foal thing, but it is important lol.
I'm just gonna put this here...
img.pandawhale.com/post-10684-Tyrion-Lannister-Reddit-upvote-OTdG.gif
right as i saw the name of the chapter I thought you were gonna make this reference
Eh... Bon never heard of
Whoa, that sure is some kinky femdom going on there. (Found a typo!)
5632338 All I want to do is have some fun! I got a feeling, I'm not the only one!
I like the story more than the clop.
5634512
Best typo ever. Also fixed lol. Thank you for finding that.
5634500
Lol! Maybe I should have.
5631186
...whaaaaat? I swear I saw some in there earlier. Something that needed an apostrophe and something that needed to be uppercased, but I can't see them anymore. Did you already get to them?
Shouldn't that be "You're?"
But otherwise, I'd love to see how this date goes down.
5634634
Yes... Yes it should be. And thank you for pointing that out.
5634626
I saw the one that needed the apostrophe, but I didn't see anything that need to be uppercase, or anything else. I just saw that one, so I thought you might have seen more or something.
5634684
Ju lutem. We're only human.
Now I see where she gets it.
5634541
All I want to do is have some fun, until the sun comes up over Santa Monica Boulevard...