Perfect
I glanced over one of Twilight’s first friendship letters, taking a sip of my tea. This one always made me so proud of her. Twilight had always kept a part of herself hidden until she met her friends. Maybe if I read this enough times I’ll learn that lesson, too.
Dear Princess Celestia, I have learned a very valuable lesson about friendship: I was so afraid of being thought of as a showoff that I was hiding a part of who I am. My friends helped me realize that—
“Rereading the letters again, Tia?”
I glanced up through my reading glasses to see Luna walk out from the shadows, and I couldn’t help but frown at her. “You know it creeps me out when you do that.”
“Of course I do, why do you think I continue to do so, big sister?” Luna grinned as she sprawled onto the couch beside me.
I just shook my head at the antics of my little sister. If only you’d let others see this side of you, Lulu. “To answer your question: yes, I am rereading her letters. You know I’m planning to put them together into a book as her thesis, don’t you?”
Luna scrunched her forehead, scratching her side with a hoof as she rolled over on her back. “Yes, I vaguely recall you mentioning this to me once or twice a day the last six months. Really though, Tia, I do not see the point. Twilight Sparkle is already a Princess - what exactly do you think adding ‘Doctor’ to her title will truly accomplish?”
I sighed and removed my glasses, blinking a few times. I really should be wearing them all the time, but just imagining the nobles’ reactions to my eyes starting to go bad... Ugh, no thank you. “How many more times am I going to have to explain this, Luna? Twilight has been working towards her doctorate since she was thirteen. If it wasn’t for a few… missteps, she’d have it by now.” I smiled, putting my glasses back on, and glanced at the large album of scrolls in front of me. “In fact, I dare say the title of ‘Doctor’ may be more precious to her than the title of Princess.”
Luna cocked an eyebrow. “I am not going to call her ‘Doctor Princess Twilight Sparkle’, and you cannot make me, Tia. Ever.”
I snorted a touch at that statement. “You don’t even call her Princess Twilight Sparkle. Now why would I expect you to refer to her as Doctor Princess Twilight Sparkle in the future?”
Luna simply stared at me with that look that clearly said ‘because you are you.’ “You do realize there is another title she’d go mad to have, don’t you?”
I flared my wings without meaning to. Luna kept bringing this up; why couldn’t she just understand? “Luna, I’m just waiting for the perfect time.”
Luna groaned and stared at me upside down, her mane pooling to the floor. “Oh come on, Tia. If I had a bit for every time you gave me that line! Just ask her out! Seriously, sister, you and your ‘perfect time’. Something always seems to happen to mess it up.”
“That’s not true, Luna,” I objected, cocking my head to try and look my sister in the eye. Unsurprisingly, her upside-down state made this gesture a miserable failure. “Would you please sit up right if we are going to discuss this?” Again…
Luna rolled her eyes but turned to lay on her belly and stretching out. “Alright, let’s do this. With your permission we are going to go on a journey together.”
I blinked. Well, this was a new one. Normally Luna just said something sarcastic, and then left to play her new video game. “Beat your new game, huh?”
“With every playable character four different times, but that is besides the point. This needs to be dealt with. I am tired of seeing you mope around and do nothing about it!”
“Luna, I have told you already and I am not telling you again. I will ask her out, I’m just—”
“‘Waiting for the ‘perfect time’. Wrong answer! Come on, you and I are going now and dealing with this. I no longer care whether I have your permission or not.” Luna’s horn glowed a dark blue.
I found myself captured in her aura and groaned. Whether I liked it or not, it seemed Luna and I were going on a trip into the dream realm. The worst part was that this was Luna’s realm - I’d never had great luck at trying to handle dreams, so until Luna was ready to let me go… “Alright, Luna, you win. Let’s go on a trip. Where exactly are we going?” I felt like crossing my forehooves and pouting - I resisted, but it was a close thing.
“Our first stop, dear big sister, is the moment you realized you were head-over-hooves.” Luna grinned at me as I inwardly groaned.
The background twinkled into place, displaying a very familiar area—the town square of Ponyville. A celebration seemed to be occurring. I saw Luna’s wandering gaze pause as it focused on the small blue alicorn.
“Oh you have got to be kidding! I did not look that weak when I got back… did I?” Luna stared open-mouthed.
“I’m afraid you did, dear sister.” I smiled in mock sympathy. It was, after all, her idea to return to this particular moment in time.
“B-but, I look like I’m eleven! Ugh, no wonder none of the guards treated me like an adult.” Luna covered her eyes with one of her wings.
“Aww, but Luna, just look at how shy and adorable you were!” She brought us here, I am going to take advantage of this!
“I refuse to look at the child I was upon my return, Tia, and I suggest you cease as well.” Luna grumbled, looking me in the eye.
“Or what, little Woona?” I had to admit that I was enjoying this! There was not one thing that would make me stop teasing Luna like this while we were here.
“Or I’ll take us back to when Mother was potty training you.” Luna grinned as her horn lit up.
Except that. Touche, Luna. Touche.
“Alright, Luna, you win. So we’re here because you believe this is when I knew I was in love? Alright yes, I admit it—seeing Twilight like this, in charge and with friends, I felt my heart do a flip flop in my chest.”
“Then why didn’t you ask her on a date? I mean look at that, when she came up to you privately...” Luna paused, seeing the nervous look Twilight had on her face. “Ah, I see. Alright, Tia, I agree with you. Right then was not the perfect time.”
I smiled and wrapped my wing around her, squeezing tight. “Besides, Luna, at that time you were the only thing on my mind.”
Luna wiggled in my embrace, whining in that oh-so-adorable way only younger siblings can. “Alright, alright fine. I get it, now let me go!”
I considered, then grinned—if she was going to drag me on this trip, I wasn’t going to make this easy on her. I began rubbing the top of her head quickly, in a manner I believe is currently known as a ‘noogie’. “Say ‘Tia is best’.”
“Never!” Luna squirmed, trying to escape.
“Say it and I will release you!” I grinned. It wasn’t often that I was able to play with Luna like this.
“Ugh! Tiaisbest,” Luna mumbled quickly before continuing her flailing. True to my word, I let her go. She was always so adorable flustered like that!
Luna snorted and shook her head, trying to fix her mane. A more difficult task than expected due to ethereal nature of our manes. I took pity on her as I usually did, my horn alighting gold and surrounding her mane in my aura. She squeaked momentarily before she relaxed. She almost purred while I straightened her mane.
“Is that better, Luna?” I asked, my aura going out as her mane flowed normally once more.
Luna sighed and nodded. “Alright, Tia, I’ll give you this first one. Shall we move on?”
I gestured with my forehoof. “After you. This is your realm, after all.” Luna snorted, her horn lighting up and the background vanishing in mists only to reappear showing a large fountain with a young Fluttershy crying over a pile of ashes. I inwardly flinched. Somehow I had just known Luna would bring me to this time. She glared at the pile of ashes.
“I despise that bird of yours, Tia,” she growled as the background fully came into focus.
I sighed; Philomena and Luna just did not like one another. Only Harmony and they knew why. “Now, Luna, Philomena was only playing with young Fluttershy. Now why do you claim this was a perfect time?”
“Maybe in apologies for that stupid bird of yours?” Luna winced at my look and backpedaled quickly. “Ah, what I mean is: you were in Ponyville the entire day with mainly just my saviours and friends as company, were you not?”
I watched the scene for a few moments. “That is true. However, at that time none of them were at all comfortable with me. Every time my tea cup was empty it was as if it was Mr. and Mrs. Cake’s mission in life to keep it filled. And when I pulled a small joke and allowed them to over fill my cup, well... I feared they would pass out. Even Twilight was stressed.”
“So she was stressed. You could have made all that stress vanish in a moment simply by asking her—”
“No, Luna. When I mean she was stressed, she thought I was going to. Now how did that go?” She tapped at her chin before her eyes alighted. “Oh yes, put her in the dungeon or banish her, or banish her and put her in a dungeon in the place I had banished her too. For some reason she thought I’d do the same to Fluttershy!” I watched the scene, able to see my own broken heart as Twilight had been so panicked before me.
Luna watched me with a sigh. “I see, alright. But don’t you thi—”
“Please, Luna, can we move on? Please, I’m sorry, but seeing Twilight react like this around me…” I turned my eyes as far away from the scene. The longer I watched, the harder it was becoming to keep my composure.
Luna nodded, and I noticed she did not try to tell me why this had been a perfect time. I closed my eyes as the scene was once more covered by fog. A single tear rolled down my cheek, though it was gone before the scene began to clear.
I managed to withhold the giggle that threatened to escape at the sight of what the next scene showed. A doughnut shop late at night with six disheveled mares in fancy dresses sitting around a table. I saw myself sitting beside Twilight Sparkle—even like this she was the most beautiful mare who I had been witness to.
“Alright, Tia, why wasn’t this the perfect time, hmm?” Luna asked me, an eyebrow shooting upward.
I admit, at first I had no answer for my little sister before I remembered. “Because I had disappointed her, Luna. Look how beautiful she is in her custom made dress. Yet all she wanted was to spend the night by my side talking and spending time together. And I could not even give her that for one night!”
I saw Luna open her mouth then shut it with a frown. “Celestia, you could not control how the night of the Gala preceded. I am certain Twilight Sparkle did not blame you.” She looked at me curiously. “Did she?”
I shook my head, recalling her beautiful smile. “She did not. But even after all that occurred that night, she was happy being with her friends enjoying their best night ever. It was not the perfect time.”
I heard Luna groan and grumble something under her breath. “Fine! Not the perfect time. Gotcha. Let’s move on then, shall we?”
“As you wish, Luna. After all, this is your little adventure; I’m just here for the ride.” I watched as Luna grumbled but the scene faded out. “So where to now, Cadance’s wedding?”
Luna lifted an eyebrow at my query. “Come on and be serious, Tia. Cadance’s wedding wasn’t even the perfect time to be Cadance’s wedding!”
I lifted an eyebrow at Luna’s statement before shaking my head. “Just promise me you’ll never mention that to Cadance. Alright, so we aren’t going to Cadance’s wedding. Where, then? Or shall I say when then?”
Luna grinned as the next scene began to appear, showing Twilight and myself admiring a new window within the hall of history. I allowed myself to smile. “I was so very proud of her that day. Rather than risking all of Equestria to pass a test, she allowed another to assist her.”
“Is that when you knew for certain, Tia?” Luna asked as we watched Twilight’s depression change to elation.
“Mmm... Yes that was when I knew she was ready to finish Starswirl’s unfinished spell. I also allowed myself to see a future with her.” I blushed, remembering the daydreams I began to have after that day.
Luna snorted. “Yeah, I noticed. Did you know, Tia, that I am able to see daydreams as well as normal dreams?”
My eyes widened as a small meep escaped my mouth. Some of the very early daydreams I had had involving Twilight…
“Shall we never speak of this again, Tia?” Luna grinned at my obvious discomfort.
“P-please?” I was too mortified to even attempt being formal, I was almost able to see Luna mark off another win for herself. “Do I need to explain why this was not the perfect time?”
“Nah. With the way Twilight sprinted away from you the moment you told her she had passed made it quite clear there wasn’t much of a chance you even had a chance to tell her how you felt, much less ask her out.” Luna shrugged, the scene turning to dream mist as Twilight dashed from my side.
“Wait, if you knew this wasn’t a so called ‘perfect time’, why did we even come here?” I cocked my head, waiting for what had to be a profound reason.
Luna simply shrugged. “No real reason. I just enjoyed seeing that hidden blush when you realised you actually could be with Twilight. In fact, were you gazing at her plot as she ran from the room, Tia?”
I gaped at Luna, unable to defend myself properly, my cheeks almost as hot as the sun as Luna grinned cheekily. “Thought so!”
“Next memory, please!” I finally found myself able to force out, as Luna continued to laugh at me. Ngh, little sisters...
Luna snorted before grinning at me. The new scene made itself visible and I felt my fur stand on end. “Alright, Luna, how in Harmony’s name was ‘this’ the perfect time, hmm? Because to me it appears to be anything but!”
Luna shrugged as both of us watched my... Past self? Memory? Anyway, we watched as she sang the ballad to the gazing Twilight, her eyes shimmering. “I always love hearing you sing, Tia.”
I flushed a bit at the compliment. I personally never thought that my singing voice was that great, but Luna… She always complimented me whenever she heard it. “Thank you, Lulu. Now, why are we here? It isn’t just to hear me sing, is it?”
“Of course not, Tia! If I just wanted to hear you sing I’d just… well, I’d ask you to sing to me, j-just like when we were fillies. I miss that, Tia, I miss you singing to me.” Luna’s ears pinned back against her head.
I smiled softly and opened my mouth. “You’ve come such a long long way, and I’ve watched you from that very first day. To see how you might grow, to see what you might do, to see what you’ve been through, and all the ways you would make me proud of you.” While singing, I wrapped my wing around Luna’s barrel as she nuzzled her head to my neck.
“Thank you, Tia... Th-that was just what I needed.” Luna used her wing tip to wipe her eye. “Anyway, the reason we are here is that this! This was the perfect time. Twilight had just completed Starswirl’s unfinished masterpiece, you just sang that gorgeous song, and now you just helped her ascend to alicornhood. So why? Why, did you not take just a few moments before sending her back to the mortal realm and say, ‘Hey, Twilight. I’ve had a huge crush on you, so would you like to go to dinner with me sometime?’”
I groaned, putting a hoof to my forehead. “Are you kidding, Luna? Her friends were already horrified at seeing her vanish like she did. If I had kept her any longer than I did, I’m certain they would have feared her dead and them her killers.”
Luna winced. “Really, Tia? You didn’t consider that using the Elements to summon her to the Celestial Walkway might cause some... Oh, I don’t know... Panic?”
I shrugged with what I felt was a mildly embarrassed look, but by Luna’s cocked eyebrow I quickly realized I was giving one of my patented yet rarely seen goofy grins. “Okay, so I didn’t have it well thought-out. I get it.”
Luna snorted at me while tossing her head. “Yes, it is obvious that you did not, thus you ruined probably the most ideal… Oh, excuse me: the perfect time to tell Twilight how you feel and ask her out! Ugh, what am I going to do with you, Celestia?”
My ears perked at her statement. “You mean this tour or whatever it is, is over? Since this was the perf—” I cut myself off at the look Luna was giving me.
“No, big sister. Though I maintain this was the best chance, there are still two other perfect times you passed up.” She stomped her hoof, and with that, the scene fell apart like glass breaking. I winced at that; Luna was getting irritated, and that was never a pleasant thing to experience.
The new scene formed without any fanfare, it was the Summer Sun Celebration. I smiled; that had been a wonderful time, what with Luna bringing down the moon and Twilight’s part, it was just perfect… Oh no...I remember why I didn’t ask then. “Luna, wait. Before you say anything, I did have a good reason for not asking her this time.”
Luna lifted a single eyebrow. “Yes, Tia. I’m listening.” The look on her face clearly stating that my excuse better be good.
Oh, she is not going to like this. I winced. “Well, Lulu, er... It is a good excuse. Really!”
“Celestia…”
“...I was exhausted,” I mumbled out after a moment.
Luna stared at the scene, watching as the past me let out a hidden yawn. “Oh, for the love of... Ugh! Fine! Last one!”
The scene didn’t even break this time. Luna’s annoyance was clear in the way the dream realm shifted and twisted. It made me feel sick to my stomach, to be honest. Luckily though, it settled fairly quickly, but I couldn’t help but wince.
“Alright, Celestia, Twilight had just defeated Tirek after giving up all of the alicorn magic. Her palace literally grew from the ground and she just became aware of her role of being Princess of Friendship. Everypony is happy and relieved, joyful even.” She grabbed my muzzle in her forehooves. “HOW WAS THIS NOT THE PERFECT TIME?!”
I giggled, albeit a bit nervously. “Well, um... You see, Luna, everything looked great and happy, but everyone was still really upset at everything that had happened, not to ment...ion… all the ponies?” I found myself trailing off as Luna began to twitch, mumbling something under her breath. The dream realm vanished back into my bedroom as Luna paced back and forth mumbling, finally slamming her hoof down as a thunderclap was heard.
“That is it!” She turned to look at me, her eyes glowing white. She jerked her head to the right and all my windows vanished, becoming a solid wall, then she jerked her head left and my door vanished as well. “You are staying in this room until you tell Twilight Sparkle how you feel and ask her out or until Equestria comes to an end! Whichever comes first!”
I gulped, gently testing Luna’s magic barrier. It was solid more so than the one Nightmare Moon had used to keep me on the sun. She was right; I wasn’t going anywhere. “Lulu? Um, how am I going to be able to tell Twilight how I feel if I’m stuck in my room?”
Luna grinned, showing all her teeth, before teleporting away. A few moments later, Twilight Sparkle appeared on Celestia’s bed with swirly eyes.
“Uhhh… No, mommy, I don’t wanna go out and play...I wanna go to school…” Twilight mumbled as her head continued to spin.
“Luna!” I hissed under my breath, searching for my little sister’s presence. “Twilight cannot stay here!” Only silence answered me. I sighed and sat on my haunches, waiting for Twilight to recover from the thirty-five mile long teleportation. She quickly recovered, though, as I knew she would.
“Oh! Pr- er, Celestia! Did you need me, is something the matter? Luna just appeared and I um… I-is this your bedroom? Oh no, are you sick?” Twilight dashed over to me, putting her hoof to my forehead. “Well, you feel hot, but no more so than you usually are…”
I felt myself flush at her touch. Okay, Celestia, this is it! You love this mare more than your sun, just say it!
“So... Nice weather we’re having?”
You idiot! Celestia, if you don’t tell her, I’m going on strike! Good luck ruling Equestria without yourself!
“Oh yes, the pegasi have been doing a wonderful job! I think ever since Rainbow Dash became a reserve Wonderbolt she’s been a lot more responsible.” Twilight beamed before cocking her head. “Celestia, where are your windows?”
“Will you go to dinner with me?” I blurted out, unable to stop myself.
“I um… what?” Twilight turned to look at me as I pawed at the floor, staring at my hoof.
“I… I really like you, Twilight Sparkle. I’ve been… in love with you for ages, and, well... Will you go to dinner with me?”
“Yes.”
I looked up to see Twilight smiling at me, then her smile turned into a grin as her wings spread out and she began to dance a little in place. “Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!”
The next thing I knew Twilight was snuggled under my wing, nuzzling into my side. “Y-you mean it?”
“Of course! I’ve been in love with you since I was like six! I’ve always hoped you’d feel the same, why did it take you so long?” Twilight cocked her head, her beautiful purple eyes staring up into mine.
I kissed the side of her muzzle and smiled as my door and windows reappeared.
“It just… never seemed like the perfect time.”
just a cute little one shot, hope you all enjoyed!
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Great story sis! I'm glad to see it finished! Great job.
this was a rather cute story and i enjoyed reading it. Good job
puu.sh/gemkX/ba20b9d19f.png
Now, time to actually read this!
FimFiciton is derping for me
There needs to be alternate ending where they play board games until the end of time.
5675937
Hmmmm, tempting got any game recommendations?
5676058 I think you should start off with nice, sane games (Sorry!, Parcheesi, Battship.) and then their mental state collapses as they move on to the notoriously torturous games. (Candyland, Mouse Trap, Monopoly.)
If you want, I can pre-read and help decide on stuff like that.
This was adawwable.
5676070 And then they played the game that never ends: Dungeons and Dragons.
5676058 Hey Foals, your story was featured again
5676495
Cool:-)
“I despise that bird of your’s, Tia,”
Hahaha. Doctor Who reference. I get it. And If I'm wrong, well sorry.
5676818 I think it's more like any time traveling show, reference
After reading both, I can honestly say that I like this story more. Don't get me wrong, both are great. There's just something about the way Celestia and Luna interact that makes me like this one more.
5676428 D&D isn't as badly viewed as the others I've mentioned.
Monopoly is never-ending, Candy Land always restarts at the last second, and Mouse Trap can never be played because no one has all the pieces!
Oh, I just love the sisterly interaction between Celestia and Luna. I could actually see them goof around in private.
The ending was cute, too.
You mean "Professor", right?
All of the yes!
Oh Celestia, the years you've gone since you last dated have not impacted your tact at all.
5676058 If they're playing till the end of time, they might have long enough to play a round of Risk...
I like this, but the first person thing really bugged me. I got thrown off each time. It was just too weird. I did really enjoy this story, though.
I greatly enjoyed this. You get an upvote from me, and I consider myself quite the connoisseur of Twilestia (as if that means anything). Kudos to you, friend.
Nice little story, but that last part where Twilight says: "I've loved you since i was like six." Feels weird to me...
Oh Celestia you're such a Bakadere.
There were some slopes on this story... But generally it was nice.
Also... SIX? FRIGGIN SIX? WTF TWILIGHT!!!
5678199
Probably 'cuz we're not immortal beings that have a thoroughly skewed view on romantic relationships. I mean c'mon, the first thing I'd do if I met a legitimately immortal being would be to hide the kids. Not saying they're all pedophiles or anything, just...well, concepts like inter-personal relationships and age would start to not mean a whole lot to someone that's been alive for a really, REALLY long time!
Twilestia remains creepy as shit because of the power dynamics.
Twilight can't break Celestia's facade, win arguments with her, hurt her, or do anything else that one would need to do to form a meaningful relationship.
5678524
As much as I love Twilestia, I agree the power dynamic has to be addressed in anything that tries to be deeper than feel-good fluff.
Not that I mind feel-good fluff.
5676058 Cards Against Equestria
Oh My! I absolutely Love the Doctor Princess reference!
Celestia never got too much of a personality in canon other than being a mother figure and having a small sense of humor. This would have been a great time to expand on that, especially with the first person point of view. I didn't get that, but honestly, it was good without it. A little more personality on her part would have made it great.
I give it 10 out of 10 top story
through the whole story 
I was like this
so good
5676625
Theres no 's on yours, when used in that manner. Should just be "yours"
5680340
Yes, that's the error I was pointing out. If you check the story it's still there.
5680382
5676625
5680340
Fixed ty
“Uhhh… No, mommy, I don’t wanna go out and play...I wanna go to school…”
That made me laugh.
So much d'aww. That's really all I can say, this was very well written even by your standards, Foals.
That was the cutest thing everrr
5681702 Harhar that age gap tho. XD
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/201/580/Trololololestia.png
5678524 You want this story on creepy pasta? I can tweak a few things...
5677905 That would be interesting. Though they possibly can play axis and allies? I just finished a game of risk tonight. Do you think it would drive them crazy if they saw me playing rock paper scissors?
Well... it started out well enough, and then somewhere around the third flashback it seems like you got impatient and the pacing just crapped itself...
I wrote a review of this story. It can be found here.
5685891
Hi there. I have noticed that you are leaving unsolicited reviews for this author. While some people appreciate this, some do not. Most reviewers are at least kind enough to offer constructive criticism, yours seem to simply be negative and borderline derogatory. If you dislike this author, then do not read her works. If you want to criticize, please at least be constructive. Most people here are simply trying to share ideas and thoughts, it is rather unkind to follow someone and point out flaws you perceive, as many of them are subjective. Just a friendly suggestion, thank you for your time.
5687373
I don't follow Foals Errand, and I don't do it to be mean. I'm a reviewer; I just review pretty much everything I read. As it so happens, Foals Errand has made the featured story box a bunch of times with stories that made me curious, and I ended up being disappointed in them, but I wrote reviews of them because I read them. Sometimes even my reviews of things I don't like get people views; I had someone note on that very blog post that a NRed story intrigued them enough to read it, and they wouldn't have done so otherwise had they not read my review.
And sometimes, people read my reviews and don't read stories; such is life. And really, that's kind of the point: to try and help people figure out where to spend their time.
I was not intending to be derogatory, but I do review stuff; I also notify everyone whenever I do so.
My reviews are primarily intended for the audience to become aware of what a work is and what it is like; I also note my reaction to it, and point out any flaws or awesome stuff that I notice, and that can be helpful to the writer; however, most of the time, my reviews are aimed at the general fan-fiction reading audience, not at the writer.
Unsolicited reviews are a very common way of reviews being done; most people who just review stuff randomly do it out of the blue, reviewing whatever it is that they're reading.
If Foals (or anyone else) doesn't want me to review their stuff, all they have to do is ask, and I won't read it and won't review it.
Looking over the post, I didn't notice anything too terribly mean-spirited about it; I did remove one bit that I think you were misinterpreting, as that was not my intent with it and it wasn't critical to my intent there, and I think it might be what made you feel like I was dumping on the author.
The removed line was meant to express the fact that while I enjoy Twilestia, there are a lot of Twilestia stories which I feel don't have Celestia very well in-character, and thus I end up reading a bunch of Twilestia stories and then disliking them because of it. Thus "I should have known better" was basically "I got my hopes up for a good new Twilestia story and didn't end up happy with it."
I'm not trying to dump on authors when I say I don't like their works, and I do try to avoid things I don't think I'll like; I don't just randomly pick out people to pick on, the stories I read are almost always chosen because I am hoping to enjoy myself, or because someone recommended it to me, or because someone asked me to read it.
The title and description made me think of "waitin' 'til marriage".
this cute little one-shot needs a follow up badly
5687373
I saw nothing wrong with his review.
Both this and Lies of the Pristine have their merits, but I liked LotP just a bit more. I think I liked this one a bit better in a happy-go-lucky kind of light, while I liked the other one better in how it felt a bit more personal and less silly.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
3999 word chapter
4000 words total.
Lolwat.
Coming from a fellow writer, this is really good. Especially since I've just submitted a story revolving around Princess Luna and Celestia. I don't find too many fellow girl writers on this site, so that's a nice change. I really enjoyed this. The overall tone of it reminded me of 'Fangirl' by Rainbow Rowell which I definitely recommend. The playfulness of Luna's antics and the stubbornness of Celestia collide in such a way that it just creates such a nice flow through out the story.
I give it 5/5
- A