- Member Since 27th Jun, 2014
- offline last seen Jul 7th, 2022
Tank Drill
Retired Brony, if you come across this account, I welcome you. My stories are dated, but show my writing progress. Have fun with that.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Tank Drill · 21k words · 109 29 · 2.7k views
- Skyguy626 · 223k words · 77 63 · 2.7k views
- Shadow Master · 208k words · 30 7 · 4.9k views
- Deathwatch56 · 2.5k words · 50 31 · 763 views
- The Real Darkness · 35k words · 32 16 · 751 views
- Shadow Master · 129k words · 67 57 · 3.7k views
- TheOnionKnight69 · 34k words · 50 52 · 2.4k views
- Darth Brony · 90k words · 46 28 · 748 views
Stats
Page generated in 0.121 seconds
Total duration
678 users online
889,649 hits today, 2,167,270 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
5591789
My British friends reaction to that video was priceless and I was once again on the floor rolling.
MORE!!!!! I need more! This is getting good.
I really like this. I'd say it has a lot of potential.
5613525
5610122
Finally someone who thinks this story has potential and another wants more!
In all seriousness I am glad you(Adammaa) and Cotton235 commented. 
5614246 Well, one that really has my attention is the "almost" griffon war from the Tirek incident. It makes me think the griffons will have interest in the news of Jayden being the royal strategist.
5615271
What war? Wink wink nudge nudge.
5615283 This has quite a few exciting possibilities, can't wait!
Seems like you are coming out with new chapters at a good pace here. Plenty of fun reading
5616201
Yeah I have a schedule where I have Tuesdays, Thursdays and the weekend off. I will inform my followers when I get part time job or anything happens.
5616220 Alright, hope life things are going smoothly for you.
I liked this chapter, started off light and funny with Ryan's musical number from Charlie and the chocolate factory which for me brought back some fond memories of a really good film that I've not seen in years, those who feel the same are awesome. Then in the centre was a mixture of serious events such as Discords negotiation with the griffins and the incident with Coco and Sagi which results in Ryan and Coco's relationship. In all its getting pretty excited especially with the demand of the griffin king, I doubt Luna will give up her new strategist so easily but it'll be fun to see how it develops
Love the song and dance breakout. Also seems a little bit of my predictions has come true.
Man, I really like this. Giving some good laughs here.
5640394
If you don't mind me asking; what parts made you laugh? I'm curious.
5641013 In this latest chapter, it would be Conner freaking out over the clones, then spike thinking he's drinking too much when he sees the clones. The Timber wolf joke right after that also made me laugh.
5641267
I think you and others will enjoy the next chapter for it will be long and funny.
I am really enjoying this story although waiting for each chapter is TORTURE!
There are hardly any grammar errors, though I cannot vouch for the first 2 or 3 chapters? before I pretty much became Frank's beta reader before he publishes his chapters, Being a writer myself I write as a hobby though nothing I've done is up anywhere. So I'm decent at pointing them out for Frank.... Though I'm still pretty much a shall we say colt (inexperienced) in terms of writing, but I try. 
I will be very honest, that first romantic scene between Luna and Jayden was beyond beautiful with the music choice. It perfectly displayed how he has settled in and how he feels for Luna, it made me literally cry and im not joking. Overall a brillant chapter,
Omg, all those Lion King references.
She's going to eat me!... That took awhile for me to calm down from.
5652815
Glad you liked it!
5653089 One other thing. Would have maybe expected (even just a single simple sentence) that Celestia would have apologized.
5653118
Noted and fixed.
5653130 Alright. Would be strange if she didn't apologize. Like, she might actually like him in such a manner. So far, seems like relationships are 1 to 1. Meaning, there doesn't seem to be any second lover for the humans. Simply why I think it would have been strange.
5592341 What was the reaction? Why does this have a gore tag, but not a dark tag?
5658248
There is going to be gore, but I already chose six categories so dark will be in there as well.
i think the reason people dont like this story is because it goes to fast.Like Luna that already fall in love with Jaydan,Pinkie with Connor,the cutie mark and that Frank is already powerful.there some other thing but they came in mind right now.
i dont dislike the story though but like i said it goes to fast so you cant really get attach to the characters.
Hope thats help
5663309
I read a lot of stories where the plot gets too fast... I guess they're rubbing off of me.
I think you are quite good at adding the music and including some of the things that happen during the video.
i think my favorite characters so far are Connor and Jayden
I'm honestly slightly saddened by the predictablility, it also feels as though you're adding stuff in to make the story work, which I feel is kind of lazy, but, that doesn't mean it was bad, try to plan around... 3 chapters ahead and explain things earlier, the sooner, the better. Sure, it might add to the predictability, but what good story doesn't have foreshadowing? Just try not to make it too blatant.
Another thing I'd like to put forward is the use of the "magic fixes everything, we're all powerful" trope, I am aware this is rather opinionative, but I just feel as though its a little "OP" as it would stand, Maybe something along the lines of a power ceiling, ( that would promptly be shattered, ) or atleast needing to learn the magic? do not take this segment as a change to be made to the story, ( or do, I won't question it. ) rather, a way to structure any future stories? Because it would ruin what you have going, which is a story of a man who found a colorful talking horse, follows her home, and turns into an anime-chimera, which has its charms in its own way, which is honestly, why I like it, but it gets a little underwhelming when the parts that are obviously supposed to be climactic, aren't, because it feels as though there was no mountain climbed, no overlaying challenge, it feels like you went through a plot chart in the middle of a plot chart, if that makes sense.
Since you seem to like anime, take a reccommendation from me and give "Fairy tail" a go, its really good, and it ( slightly ) helps with my point, oh, and be warned, the voice actor for happy is obnoxious no matter which ya wath, dubbed or subbed, I prefer the dubbed, but that's because I saw it first.
(Wow, that was a lot of rambling now wasn't it? Oh god, i'm doing it again.. better close here!)
A couple chapters ago you asked for constructive criticism, this is my feeble attempt at giving it.
Stay classy,
-Massimo
5744421
I really do appreciate the construction criticism and the subject about them being powerful magic beings is going to be addressed soon after the arc is finished. It maybe a cliche, but it is the only solution that can end this 'Dues Ex Machina' (to which I make fun of a lot). They will get a 'power down' making them more like able characters, but they will have magic of an almost advance unicorn, but with a twist. That is all I am giving for hints.
good chapter
its true that sometime frank was OP as fuck 
5766514
Yep don't worry about Frank, he'll be not as powerful as before and will have limitations as a Unicorn.
I believe that Pegasus's should actually be Pegasi in the second actual paragraph lines two and six. It just hits the ear wrong.
5788805
Noted and fixed! Thanks for the correction.
Fun self insert fic, but by Celestia's beard slow down the story progression! My head is spinning.
5847081
Hope that will stop your head from spinning. 
Don't worry it slows down a bit and later on the chapters go by months at a time.
Oh I laughed so hard at Jayden's situation when he ended up in Luna's room.
and kinda facepalm when my sister was about to accept the stupidest exchange ever
No seriously one side of the board would have been a freaking mine field.it was terrifying
Anyway it was a short chapter but these two bullies needed to be put at their place.good job Nia
Shit just got real.
a moment of silence for Logan
Why was Logan killed off? What will Rainbow Dash do now without him?!
6062942
Patience my friend, the next chapter will be out Sunday.
The only things i will complain about is that Logan death was humm how can i say.....
WHAT?!!!! When?why?how?DAFUQ?"feeling and we only get a "he got killed for a sacrifice and you went rampage because of it"response
.
too sudden.
Seriously one chapter he's partying with his friends and the other he straight up *POP* and die.
Sure you explain why but it still seems a little rush.
Its like those story where the guy's friend start to say"Hey man,thanks for buying me lunch i wa-"*POW* and he's friend get crush by a car and die instantly.
But in your story its wasn't a sudden accident it was a kidnapping turn sacrifice.
When we read about his death we just get a "
Sure they can't necessarily know why but it could have been good to have chapter about his kidnapping and his last through before completely disappearing of your story or just a little clue that he get kidnap.we need more details then
People may think its useless because at the end he would still die
but it really help the readers to actually understand what happened
and you feel a little less like Logan got drop in the trash
.It also get us more glued to the story because you read about what he felt before dying so you want to see this foe defeated.
So yeah this comment is not to complain about Logan being dead(it just help the development of the story) but his more then sudden death.
Hope my critic was helpful
and doesn't make you angry
cordially:RainbowPegasus12
6068267
I know what your saying and I give you this hint.
Why do all the characters have their own chapters? 
6068324 i see
okay then i'll stay in my corner and wait
Well, I do understand the time difference between worlds like in Equestria Girls, except that time on Earth is very slow while on Equis. But while on Earth, time zips by really fast on Equis.
In simpler terms, 2 days on Earth is 2 months on Equis. 2 days on Equis, however, is 2 minutes on Earth.
Unfortunately, since this is your story, you reversed the roles of time, making Earth's time speed up ahead of Equis.
I hope I made sense here.
6106691
Don't worry I had to do a time difference on my first story Transformation and that was a doozy!
I know what you meant about the time differences, but I just wanted Equis to be somewhat similar to Earth if that makes any sense.
Hehe, seems to me like you enjoy killing them off one by one with odds they can't overcome at the point in time, but then again looks can be deceving