Life can be tough when you're part of the in-crowd, so it helps to have a few friends you can turn to. For one filly, realizing who those friends are might mean losing the only friend she's ever known. If only she had the courage to face her biggest fear, things might be different.
Maybe this year...
This is an update to the 4th place finisher in the January 2015 "All In" Writeoff.
Special thanks to sunnypack and Titanium Dragon for pre-reading the update and all the wonderful reviews from The Writeoff Association group. You guys rock!
Chapters (1)
Thanks for taking a moment to look at my story. Hope you like it.
Please leave a comment and I'll try and respond to any questions as soon as I can.
I'll be completely honest with you, I found this fic to be terribly lacking. As it stands, it just presents a 'sad' scene, and that's it; it doesn't do anything with its content, and I found myself thinking "what's the point of this?" more than anything.[1]
Really, this feels like it's just the beginning of a fic, at best. And yeah, you only had 750 words to work with, but then I just find myself thinking that perhaps this just isn't a story suited to be told in under 1k words
[1] Admittedly, this was true for a lot of the fics this time around, but it was especially bad with these 'sad' ones.
Ow.
There's few things as sad as someone trying to be happy and failing.
Good story.
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As it is, there are a number of directions that an extended view could take. Does she give up on Diamond and try to join the others? Does she fall deeper into the bad relationship? Can she hold the line between the two?
Being that this snippet came out of a mini-fic competition, I wanted to keep the scene as it was for the most part. The idea is what is important here. It tells a small part of a much larger character arc and invites the reader to explore the possibilities going forward. The sad part of this stems from the current struggle to decide that future. Where does she go from here?
It might not be for everyone, but I hope the brevity wasn't too much of a problem for you.
Thanks for taking the time to comment.
It took me a minute to realize what was happening, and why this was formatted so strangely. When I did... ow, my heart. This is like a much less over-the-top and more believable version of when Pinkie snapped.
I'm going to second Sind here, and say that I really wish it could be expanded upon a bit. I get that it was for a mini-fic contest, and it's great for what you had to work with, but it's also a fantastic starting point for what could develop into much more. I wouldn't presume to tell you what direction to take your own story in, I just wanted to let you know that I see a ton of potential here.
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I might just take people up on that challenge. For now, I'm content to have the multiple directions available for the reader to decide for themselves. If I ever catch up on filling out some of the other story ideas that have been waiting patiently for my time in getting around to writing them, I may look at taking this story to the next step.
Where would you like to see it go? Do you find SS ever converting DT to her way of thinking? Should she abandon her so-called "friend" and try and patch things up with the CMC? I'll have to sit on this for a bit before I decide for myself.
Thanks for the comment!
5509389 If it were me, I think the next step would be working Silver Spoon around to trying to befriend the CMC. They'd probably reject her at first, and just the attempt would cause a lot of tension with Diamond if she found out. I'd think one of the CMC (probably Sweetie Belle, since she seems to be the most understanding) would have to see how Diamond really treats her and reach out in turn.
I don't know if I'd want redemption for Diamond Tiara or have her left all alone at the end, but those would be the two options for her in the story I just cobbled together.
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I'm getting a picture in the end with SS hanging out and having fun with the CMC, and DT sitting at home with her own tea set having a pity party.
5509436 Ouch. Brutal reversal of fortune. I love it.
This is really very good for the length, and considering it was for a contest it's even more impressive. I, like most of my fellow comment-leavers, would quite like to see a continuation of this. You told the story in a pretty unique way, but it worked really well in my opinion, and I like that it's open to multiple interpretations.
TL;DR Version: Fanon Silver Spoon needs to learn to speak up, she's worst than Fluttershy. The having a tea party with the imaginary CMC as she discussed what she thinks of DT was a different coating on a revolving door of these. Probably the 3rd or 4th that has Silver worried about being teased for her glasses though.
Fanon-Silver (and people like her) do more harm to their friends and themselves for never speaking out how they feel about stuff that bothers them.
Long Answer - very long answer: In practice, I found that the bigger an 'asshole' someone is, the easier it is to know where they stand. Though from my experience it's usually because they don't want people using them or as they say, be a push over.
It's funny. The oldest and nicest of my friends have turned out to be the most deceitful kind of people. Where as someone I've known slightly longer in my mid teens is a pretty abrasive person; but really nice person when you actually get to know them. And despite that I spent more time with the ones who seemed nicer, had interests more in line with what I liked, and we relatively had a wonderful time.
Then, the masks begin to fall off. While not all turned out bad, the ones closest to me, the ones I traded my friendship with a certain hardheaded 'asshole', were the ones who actually didn't really. Despite spending virtually every single day practically tied to each others hips, the ones most trusted who were nicer, and were pretty giving at times even, turned out to be the most soulless people I've ever met. A few I could read like a book, so I didn't mind too much as I made my stance on stuff clear, but the other... Heh. Well the other may as well been fanon Silver Spoon.
Soon as something else just good enough comes along, something that *looks* like a better replacement for entertainment. BAM. Seven years thrown out the window as if one didn't exist. Mind you, we were platonically *very* close. So close we've been teased countlesss times about how we're secretly dating or how so much of a married couple we were. We did and watched most everything together.
But yet, after all that was said and done and their sick notion of what friends are for "So long as there is someone able to take the spot, it's all the same to me." which was spoken clear as day to me, it was the asshole I barely talked to, ignored on many occassions for the former best friend who found people who knew them less, was the one who was there despite all I've done wrong by them.
You see, I WAS Fanon Silver Spoon. So to speak. I went out and made newer and better friends. While I was still friends with 'Diamond Tiara', even managed to help them through a lot of hardships and the passing of the woman who raised him, I gave more attention to the ones I thought were nicer company since I like things 'DT' didn't like.
In the end, 'DT' continued having an awesome life without me during the days I ignored their invites to go places or game on something. Yet DT never stopped thinking of me as a friend.
So, yeah. To the ever burning pits of Tartarus with Weak-willed, Clapped First yet shown to not have an opinion of her own despite DT being shown to not argue with Silver Spoon on anything she says, crappy wish-fulfillment people have for saying "Diamond Tiara doesn't deserve friends' and 'Silver Spoon is different, she's not mean like DT! It's ALL DT's influence!" garbage. Quite honestly the ones who say someone doesn't deserve to be friends with someone is the VERY KIND OF PEOPLE who don't know the meaning of how friendship works.
Sure, there are times one makes friends where you feel "They're all I got. What can I do?" and 'go with the flow' as they say. I've been there, it was called HAVING TO GO OUTSIDE AND SOCIALIZE. Well, back before everyone practically had a PC in their room. I find fanon-Silver Spoon to be the sickest perversion that honestly only petty or overly abused bronies could come up with.
I was in Silver's perverbial hooves before, and rather then be the fanon "She's too cute to be with that mean one, she's got glasses and a braided mane! She needs protection from Diamond else she'll pick on her!" I was the canon Silver Spoon who "Checked on my friend to see if they were okay, despite how aggressive a wall they put up, even if it meant standing by them in silence for as long as it took for them to feel better or open up to me." and the "I have opinions and I'm not afraid to speak my mind even if it would offend my best friend." who "gives and loves to share but , Celestia damnit, this is MY milkshake!".
Bullies come in all shapes and sizes. How you act around someone like that can make a world of difference. The 'DT' I hung out with, was very aggressive person. It was solely because they let me in and knew where I stood on the moral compass that they chose to ease up and eventually learn to better control themselves.
While there are a lot of very ignorant people, especially if their parents are reinforcing the aggressive behaviors at school, as some fathers tend to do, it doesn't give people a pass at being assholes just because 'I got bullied'. You don't stop bullies by becoming one yourself. And that's all this fandom does, it fans hatred left and right through a perversion of one-sided bullshit with zero substance to back it up!
Until S5 shows Silver hates being the creative name caller, and shows she doesn't enjoy Diamond's company, and shows she's such a weak-minded and gutless pony who pony who is exempt from hatred because she's a glasses wearing grey two-toned silver maned filly with braids... SERIOUSLY? I can't even go on with how many YEARS OF UNCREATIVE REHASHES of this concept told OVER, AND, OVER, AND, OVER AND, OVER AGAIN! Through the SAME POV with just SLIGHTLY REWORDED TEXT TO SOUND DIFFERENT BUT MEAN THE SAME THING THAT STILL SOMEHOW RALLIES THE MEEK TO GATHER IN A CULTIST MANNER TO WISH HORRORS AND OVERALL BADNESS TO A PONY THEY DON'T EVEN TRY TO GET TO KNOW!
Most people are lucky if they even make ONE friend in their lifetime. There are plenty of friend-like people out there - many that would even throw a smile and some money your way and think that's good enough to show how friendly they are. But to make one who will stick by you when you aren't at your best, hurt, lose your fortune, your home, and not judge your every move under a microscope as to how you can somehow benefit them in some way... Then you know you have someone worth calling "Friend".
I'm thankful, though. Sure, a few bad apples. One really good apple that had a nasty worm nest in it, but life goes on. The ones that matter most are still there by my side and those are the ones that really matter. The ones you can give physical hugs to even!
But I love my online friends and treat them as I would any other as they do me. I'm thankful for each and every one of them. You guys can keep your Club House. I'll stick to the more intimate showcasing of awesomeness that is "The Sugar Lumps" secret hoofshake level of friendships where Quality > Quantity any day.
Heh, if the show had them seen as not very good friends, then why would the show staff model the Lady Bug Awake dance on DT and Silvers hoofshake? Those two haven't fought once, and hang out almost every day. DT loves her dad and he takes her out to fairs and attends her class show and tells. DT could have told Silver off a lot of times, rather DT acts like the lackey in a couple episodes where her Senpai takes charge. Which, technically is true, Silver is Diamond's senior.
People can hate DT. They can even hate that DT and Silver Spoon are shown as friends on the show so often to a point that Silver Spoon even forces her way into adding herself into stuff should DT forget to include her, and quite forcefully. Hell, they can post another thirty "Silver Spoon hates Diamond Tiara because Silver Spoon never really liked or or enjoys bullying" stories tomorrow on the front page, averages around 3-4 a week I think; it's been a slow couple months) but don't *ever* say something so crass as someone, even if you don't like DT, 'doesn't deserve to have friends'. Often times, it's that friend who can change a life for the better in ways you'd never expect.
Parting Gift:
Silver Spoon sleeps with a Diamond Tiara doll. Like-wise, Tiara sleeps with a Silver Spoon doll they exchanged some time ago.
40.media.tumblr.com/7d75c4604a500854be988dafbab69e10/tumblr_n0mwaxqVG41t0of7yo1_1280.jpg
Tis my new headcanon. Because if stuff like Fanon Silver can be seen as 'plausible', then this doll exchange may as well be canon to the show.
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This right here is a major reason why I didn't make this story any longer in the update from the Writeoff. I wanted to leave the outcome open.
Silver Spoon has a choice to make. Does she abandon her friend and seek out someone else? Does she stick by DT and love her no matter what? Can she speak up without throwing away a friendship she values above everything else?
Building off the show, we see the mean girls trope painting the pair in opposition to practically everyone else. In this story, SS realizes that isn't who she wants to be anymore, but can't bring herself to engage DT to bring about that change as a pair. How sad would it be if their entire friendship revolved around putting others down? I'm sure that isn't true, but a large part of building themselves up seems to come at the expense of those around them—possibly even to each other in some instances. How do you go about telling your friend that you're both wrong? How would they handle that and would you jeopardize your own friendship in the process?
I'm not extremely well read on the repetitions of this theme in the general pool of DT/SS fics out there, but I would hope the discussion could carry beyond a simple dismissal of the point due to common overexposure. I would never make the assertion that someone "doesn't deserve to have friends" because that files in direct contrast to the entire point of the show. The issue remains that some people do not have friends because they haven't been deserving of them. This doesn't mean they shouldn't have friends, but it does mean that in order to have a friend, it helps to be a friend.
The observation here is that DT and SS are bullies, and they might one day realize that and want to change their stripes. It's not so easy, especially if one of them came to that realization before the other. This isn't meant to bash on DT. It might be convenient for it to play out in this direction, but by no means is it limited to only this view.
Food for thought at the moment. I'll let the readers decide how they want to see it unfold. Perhaps the show will bring about a positive change in both of them going into the future.
Thanks for the comment!
Wonderful story, but there is one quick thing I wanted to mention.
It's doesn't need to be capitalized in this case. Despite that minor hiccup,I adored how you managed to evoke so much emotion from just the dialogue and thoughts. It made me understand the characters just from what they said. Excellent work!I was just humming spoonful of sugar while waiting for my stupidly slow internet to open up and when the fimfiction home page loaded, this is literally the first story I saw.
I think I'm meant to read this.
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Sir Truffles just posted a blog with Mary Poppins in it. I think the cancer is spreading.
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I believe I used a period there to denote more of a hard stop pause than a simple comma. I debated going either way. Glad you liked it!
5513885 How did I miss that.
Sorry for messing up there. Anyway, keep up the good work.
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I sometimes laugh at the funny stuff people post and spray my monitor with all sorts of whatever happens to be in my mouth at the time. Punctuation is the first thing to suffer in my reading and writing as a result. I can't tell the difference between a period, a comma, a semicolon, or a colon most of the time. In some cases, I invent new words or phrases based on the extra marks dotting the screen.
I wrote a review of this story. You can find it here.
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Already read it - thanks for the kind words. Also, thanks for looking it over both in the writeoff and after.
5513885 Just today I was watching Modern Family and Manny attacked a guy at the theater who insulted Poppins.
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And now for my next story... Chim-chim-chimichanga!
That should be “GrandDame”.
To be honest, I'd like to see a followup scene where Silver Spoon gets to actually have a tea party with the CMC...
--arcum42
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I think the votes are somewhat split between having the party go toward the CMC versus getting DT to join. I think I may have to modify the last line to make it more clear that Silver Spoon still considers DT to be her friend as well.
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Wouldn't it be Granddam going off the whole dam/sire thought? A Dame would be more on the human side, whereas dam would be the horse term.
http://horses.about.com/od/glossaryofhorsetermsd/g/dam.htm
Thanks for the comment. I had totally forgotten about that convention in relation to horsewords. I'm also pretty sure it would raise a few eyebrows if I used it (just like I did here).
To be honest, I don't like this interpretation of DT and SS's relationship.
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Thank you for commenting. I hope the story doesn't come across too strongly on the negative side. This isn't meant to be an attack on DT or SS, much less their relationship. As I responded to Telaros earlier and in a lengthy PM exchange that followed, I see this more as SS facing the outside attack to her friendship with DT while trying to figure out what that really means to her. She might wonder what it would be like to have other friends, or try and defend or make excuses for their views on her and DTs relationship, a devil's advocate approach in this case... but in the end, SS is torn with how it might affect her friendship if she faces up to those claims.
The “That’s… That’s not true… She’s my… friend…” line is really the crux of the whole scene.
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It hardly seems fair that the male parent gets the title “Sire”, while the female parent is called a structure for retaining water.
5517655 Dam comes from Dame which comes from the Latin Domina, which refers to a female ruler or mistress of a place.
That was pretty good. I could kind of tell where the story was going, but I liked it regardless. Keep up the good work.
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Thanks for taking a moment to leave a comment!
I'm amazed that it hit 52:0 mark before getting the first downvote, and I appreciate all the wonderful folks that stop by to take a look. It's very encouraging to see so many positive remarks and courteous rebuttals in the comments.
Oh, this was very good reading. Though it was heartbreaking to realise that, even at an imaginary tea party, things still went wrong for Silver Spoon. Put that together with SS clearly trying so hard to convince herself of Diamond Tiara's friendship, and I found this satisfying indeed.
I enjoyed seeing Silver Spoon's inner conflict over a friendship she has and friendships she could win if she only had the courage.
Poor Silvy! Got me in de feels.
This is very imaginative. A pretend teaparty. I realise halfway but that didn't stop my enjoyment.