Just a little, old baby kitty...
The Writers' Group56,313 stories ·9,281 members
Equestrian Historical Society634 stories ·823 members
I Just Want a Comment15,684 stories ·3,666 members
Completed Story Compendium20,994 stories ·1,701 members
Authors Helping Authors8,585 stories ·2,461 members
Equestria Daily2,248 stories ·708 members
This story is a sequel to The Evolution of Harmony
When Discord wakes up from his month long nap after the battle with Lord Tirek, he finds he’s lost his mojo. How can he get it back? Maybe the ponies can help – or maybe the Tree of Harmony has the answer.
Sequel to The Evolution of Harmony
Not required to have read, but it helps with the setup and a few minor plot elements.
Page generated in 0.128 seconds
Total duration
1,074 users online
2,553,915 hits today, 2,571,732 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Thanks for taking the time to travel along this story road with me!
I'm writing this one a few chapters ahead of publication and would really appreciated some feedback on what has been published so far. It would really help me to understand what people think of the story so far as I get into the meat of the plot.
Thanks again for reading!
Hmm. This caught my eye because I'd had a similar idea, actually. After reading, it only bears passing resemblance, but I'm still curious about how you resolve it.
Good presentation so far, some formatting issues but I hear that happens if you indent and then import from Google Docs or something. Nice to see Discord being a dink still. He's reformed but still learning the whole friendship thing. :)
Was mildly disappointed at the MacGuffins if only because I saw that trope over-used early on in the fanfiction scene, but that doesn't mean you can't do something good with it so I'll reserve judgement there. Rarity seemed a bit overdone in the whine department but not egregiously so.
I believe I shall fav this to keep following it and see where you go.
4719489
Thanks for the comments - I really appreciate the honest feedback.
Some of the setup here comes from the previous story. It's a little bit of foreshadow as well. I'm trying to stay true to the characters, while still being realistic to their reaction and growth as they deal with the current situation.
As far as originality goes - I don't have a lot of fanfic reading under my belt so I'm not sure how prolific the ideas and plot I present are in the fandom. I just hope I can present an engaging story, build on already established characters, and help flesh out the world of MLP a little more in the process.
Thanks for reading!
4719566
Ah, okay. My fault for not reading the previous fic first! Though, from a "coming in cold" perspective, things look pretty good. It's nice to see a "don't need to read the previous" fic that actually doesn't have random OCs or non-canon relationships only ever explained by the previous fic. :)
Honestly, if you write a good story it shouldn't matter how original the idea is, which is why I want to see where you go with it. :) Some of Disney's best movies were just re-tellings of old/ancient fairy tales, after all.
I really like this take on the elements of disharmony. Every time I've seen them before they've always been "The Elements of Disharmony get together to fight the Elements of Harmony!" Except... disharmony can't work together! That's the whole point to disharmony! So the notion that Discord was essentially their keeper, being the spirit of chaos and disharmony, and now that he's lost them they've gone to six totally unrelated and disparate beings who are not working together, solves the major problem I always had with the concept, so this works much better than any take I've seen on it before.
4721994
Good to hear I've got a fresh take on things to work with in the rest of my tale. The next few chapters will be coming soon - I'm still trying to decide on the order I want to present things in since the story from chapter four on out splits up into a few sub-quests.
One of the hardest things for me in writing stories involving the entire mane 6 is keeping the dialog interesting between all of them at the same time. My plot device for this second story is really helping me concentrate on the dialog between smaller groups of characters. Hopefully it makes for some more compelling scenes as well.
Again, thanks for reading - I hope you like what's coming next!
I like the story so far
Huh. A diffuse element? That's kind of a neat idea, actually.
4729438
:)
I'm trying out the idea of the Elements of Disharmony not being tangible objects - more of an essence. All kind of part of the chaotic nature at play here.
4729551
Well, when you think about it, the Elements of Harmony aren't really physical either since they're held within the ponies that represent them. The jewels are just foci for those powers. So it seems obvious in retrospect, but I think makes for a far more interesting plot. They can't just chase down and take some bauble away from a willing/unwilling baddie... they have to deal with the essence itself. :) I like it.
4746281 yeah - something like that...
did you know that cannedcream made a video on the elements of disharmony five days ago? its either a coincidence, or he read your story. regardless, its a good video, and has a shocking resemblance to your story. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-iUHRwKp8s
4760727 Thanks for the head's up - I posted a comment on the video. Maybe some others would be interested in reading a story on the topic as well.
let me guess, Luna has envy?
4761060 Whatever gave you that idea?
It's a two-fer Tuesday!
Enjoy another chapter of Balance of Harmony - on the house!
he pulled a twilight
...Did they just leave Gilda and Pinkie Pie in the same room? *grins* This promises to be fun!
4771952 I may just have to write my next story based on the 10 minutes that Pinkie and Gilda were left to entertain Fluttershy.
Didnt see that comeing
It's Tuesday again - instead of two chapters, I'm giving a double length one instead. (I really just couldn't find a way to break it down more.)
I hope you all enjoy as I get these last few chapters out.
It definitely worked Keep it up
All right, just finished reading up to chapter twenty-two! I saw a spelling error or two, perhaps a place I'd have used or removed a comma, but nothing too outlandish. A pre-reader or editor working along with you as you complete your next story would reduce those to zip.
First off, this is a definite improvement to your first story, both in execution and in scale. You're branching out into new territory here by splitting up your protagonists along different story paths, and the multiple arcs are all flowing together very nicely. The pacing feels good, and no arc seems to last too long or get too convoluted.
I've seen the mirror elements of Harmony concept done before, usually as a villain team against their protagonist counterparts, but I like how you've set them up as less of direct opponents and more of lessons to be learned/passed on by the mane six. The Flim Flam brothers are greedy, but they're not out to get anyone, and their greed is what needs to be overcome rather than the brothers themselves. It brings to mind how the Rainbow Power keys were earned, so it feels true to the source material.
One area I thought could use improvement was the Malice arc. You've got a good target for it with Gilda, but I feel like the conclusion didn't quite fit. Rainbow is captured, tied up and under guard, and then within a sentence she's turned the tables somehow and is having a sensible conversation. It was something of an awkward scene. Gilda under the influence of Malice was still more reasonable than she was in the show. I honestly think that griffon would need the sense knocked into her. I've got a few ideas, but nothing really concrete.
I like how you brought some vulnerability into Celestia's character with the introduction of the diary, but I felt it could use a little more touching up. We are told that changes how Twilight sees Celestia, but I'd like to be shown that. Adding a few excerpts from the diary, Celestia's own words of her emotional state and her self-loathing or doubts or whatever it may be, would help with that.
This would also be a great opportunity to introduce the Crystal Queen through diary entries, because her showing up at the end was a source of confusion. Twilight suddenly announced, "Oh, by the way, there's a Crystal Queen we all knew about" and it left me as a reader wondering if I'd missed it earlier on. It would be fantastic if we could come to the same conclusion as Twilight, about the Queen being their ticket out, at the same time via clues left in previous chapters.
One last note about their time in the shadow realm. I felt it was a little too strong of a parallel to when the mane six were corrupted by Discord in the show. There might have been a way to split off on a different path there, like how you handled Pinkie. In the show, corrupted Pinkie was a grump who hated laughter. Here, you went with sadness and depression. It fits her well and still acts as an opposite of her element. Perhaps the others could use that same treatment to give it more originality.
Although, with the way it is currently set up, I feel that Applejack's reformation could use some love. Others were dragged out of their corrupted states, but Applejack just seemed to get... tired of lying or bored maybe and just gave it up with a shrug. It didn't feel like it had the gravity that the others did. Perhaps if she were lying about, say, not knowing any of the mane six. Refusing to admit they are friends. The others would have to prove to her that she was their friend through recollections of how she's come through for them in the past, and bam! Corruption gone.
That's my take on content. You're on a good path here and the end is in sight. Keep it up!
-Hack
4812129
Good points all - saving a few things for book three that still tie in with this story and the first.
I'm still trying to find a good balance between telling too much and leaving things up to the reader to explore. I know a lot source content from the show because I went back and watched a lot of previous episodes to feed into this story. The surprises in the end, maybe I could have spelled things out a little more, but it almost feels good to have the surprise. Maybe people might want to go watch some of the key point episodes - like Griffon the Brush Off and The Crystal Empire pt 1&2. I'm still taking note of things going forward.
Amazing comments - thank you so much for the effort you put into all of this.
Book three will be starting up "soon". I'm making the trilogy and hopefully parts of things from the previous two make a little more sense once I bring it all full circle.
Drumroll please!
Here's the final chapter and wrap up for this second book - work to start on book three next week.
Thanks for reading!
Thornwing
First of all, congratulations on finishing the story! This was no small undertaking and I applaud you for not just sticking with it but releasing chapters on such a dedicated schedule. Well done!
Overall it was a good story, well put together. Each chapter was easy to read and kept the story moving and the events and characters were logical. At no point did I want to throw my hooves up and go "What?! Whatever." Sadly, that happens sometimes to an otherwise good story.
If I were to offer some criticism, it would be in how quickly conflicts were resolved. There just felt like there could have been more to the resolution of each element... the solutions were novel, but just seemed to happen too quickly. There felt like opportunity to explore the characters more in the resolution, where instead the afflicted were convinced of their errors rather quickly (with as little as a few lines of dialogue) once it got down to it. Now, I know from personal experience that seeing a spot that could use more storytelling, and actually coming up with story to TELL in that spot, are totally different things, so take this with a grain of salt. :) I just felt that, given the magically-compulsive nature of the Chaos Elements involved, it would have taken a little more effort on the part of the heroes.
On the flip side of that, everything was resolved in the spirit of the show and largely in-character, with dialogue and compassion winning the day instead of fighting, so well done there, as well. The only time Power was involved was to save someone from an equally bad Power, also keeping in tune with the show. Again, nicely done.
Overall, I'm gonna give you a Like. :) There's room for improvement, but you did good and I certainly found myself enjoying following this story.
4814694 Thanks for sticking with me through it all. I know it can be hard to follow a story not knowing if it will actually get finished.
I'm going to start getting into #3 here soon, and I promise to finish that one as well. After that - maybe I'll do a few short one shot stories that delve into the details or put some better back story on all of this. If I come up with another epic plot to follow, I'll consider doing a long one again -after the third of course - but it does take a lot of doing.
First book took under a week start to finish because the entire thing was a brain dump of an idea I had in my head for a month. The second was more a calculated journey that I outlined and filled in as I went - it took about a month to do. We'll have to see where the next one goes, but I have a pretty good idea of where I want to see it end.
Hm... I like the story but didn't the elements get switched up? I thought it was originally the element of Greed in Manehatten and Envy in Griffon's Nest but instead they picked up the two elements that we were originally told they did not know the location of, namely Malice and Lies.
Edit: Nevermind. I see that was addressed later.
4963268
That was on purpose - Discord and all...
Alright. Finally time to start on the sequel to "Evolution of Harmony."
Since I've already reviewed one of your stories before, I hardly think I need to explain the Review categories again, so I'll just get right to it.
(Warning: The following reviews may contain sarcastic, serious, joking, thoughtful, or downright unnecessary commentary and/or flutter-censored swearing. Viewer discretion is advised.)
So we open this story up with...
...Discord. *Cue Kefka's theme*
It seems that Discord is having some kind of trouble with his powers.
Okay, so his powers are fine. So what's wrong?
Wonder how this is going to go down...
Alright, so come to Ponyville, where they're having a scheduled rainstorm, much to Pinkie Pie's chagrin. The Mane Six are in the Friendship castle waiting out the storm, each doing their thing; Rarity getting patterns for redecorating, Fluttershy coddling her animals, Rainbow Dash out directing the weather team, Pinkie...being Pinkie, Twilight still adjusting to the new castle, and...okay, I'm assuming AJ is out at Sweet Apple Acres tending the orchard.
A while later, Rainbow comes in and tells them it'll be over soon, when Pinkie Pie...
......Okay, when Discord said he'd come visit the Tree of Harmony, did he really have to do this again?
*Sigh, points to link* Chocolate Rain
So the girls think Discord's gone back to being bad (except for Twilight and the obvious Fluttershy), AJ comes in, saying the farm's taking a beating, and Twilight tries to be the reasonable one when...
So Twilight hears Queen Una----I mean, the voice of the Tree of Harmony, and they all head for the cave.
Honestly, I'd be with Twilight on this one; we can't just blame Discord right off the bat. The guy's honest enough about his chaos, so just ask him.
But first, TO THE TREE OF HARMONY!!!
So they head to the Everfree Forest (Pinkie trying to enjoy the last bits of the chocolate rain), running into Zecora for a few minutes before continuing to the Tree of Harmony.
And there they find Discord *Kefka's theme*
*stifles a laugh* (Humor: +1)
So we get some shenanigans (because it's Discord; can't have a Discord story without him doing something chaotic!) where Discord expresses his innocence just like in "Princess Twilight Sparkle" and....
Oooh! Origin exposition for Discord! (Story: +1)
So when Una and Brightwing cast the Spell of Harmony, Discord was created as a balance. We now know when he came into being. Question is, was he young then? Or has he been the signature character of John De Lancie we all know and love/hate for the last 2000 years?
Okay, so Discord wasn't the one who started the chaos storm. Well, then who/what did? And why is Discord feeling so off?
"Elements of Disharmony?" Oooooh, I see! That's why it's called "the Balance of Harmony!" Everything's in balance....Okay, just had to get that one out there.
Okay, you definitely wrote Discord VERY well! and he's a difficult character to write; more so than Pinkie Pie! (Writing: +5)
So we continue with Twilight in her bedroom.
What, we don't get to see the rest of the scene at the Tree of Harmony?
As for the names of the Elements of Disharmony themselves (Rating time! scale of 1 to 10):
Greed: Perfect 10
Lies: 4.0
Envy: 7.5
Malice: 9.0
Sadness: 6.5
Overall: 7.4 (C)
Suggestions for the Elements of Disharmony (if renamed):
Honesty - Dishonesty
Laughter - Hatred
(Going off of how Pinkie Pie acted in "Return of Harmony" when Discord turned her.)
Generosity - Greed
Kindness - Cruelty
Loyalty - Deception
Magic - .......Yeah, I got nothing.
(Key: Harmony - Disharmony)
Anyway, so the next morning the ponies all demanding answers from Twilight, who is still asleep...
AJ goes in to wake her up, and when she goes to address the public, she gets bombarded!
So we are treated to some Cutie Mark Crusader lines...
Uuuuuuuuuhhhhhh..........Have you really met Sweetie Belle? She may be a kid, but she's not THAT much like Rarity! She doesn't overreact...Okay, she still does, but not to THIS extent!
So the Mane Six gather in the Throne Room to discuss how they're going to deal with this problem. Ultimately, they will have to split up to cover enough ground. This is actually a challenge that they have yet to face: handling things on your own when the situation demands it.
(Sorry I haven't been here in a few days; been volunteering for a local festival.)
So Twilight and Pinkie Pie see AJ and Rarity off on the train before returning to town. (R.D. and Fluttershy have already left by now...)
Gee, could it be a party?
Oooooooh, lucky guess!
So they head back into town to get decorations for the "Rainy Day Go Away" party - improvement on writing Pinkie's randomness. Good job. (Writing: +1) - and we see that the entire town is down in the dumps.
When they get to the castle, Pinkie splits off to get the decorations and Twilight...
Tell us something we don't know.
So after a bit, Discord questions Twilight's decision to delegate her duties to her friends and split them up.
Not your most persuasive argument, Twilight. We've seen on more than one occasion that Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy don't exactly work well together. Examples? R.D.'s cheering lessons in "Sonic Rainboom" and the jousting demonstration in "The Crystal Empire," to name two.
So Discord heads back to the Tree of Harmony to try and locate the remaining two elements (and possibly a sixth), and Twilight goes up to check up on Spike, who's throwing a temper tantrum. (First time I've seen him do this since "Secret of my Excess.")
So Twilight is able to soothe him, and...
Is that what I think it is...?
Wait...."a little bit of the Element of Sadness?" So Spike wasn't the sole bearer of it?
Okay, so if cheering the people up will reveal the Element of Sadness, then Pinkie has the right idea.
AAAAAAAND this chapter shows Pinkie Pie's party-loving side; something we were SORELY missing from the previous story! Improvements have been made! Good job!
So, the first leg of this chapter shows AJ and Rarity packing up and leaving for Manehatten. And this does a good job of showing just how the stress is affecting Rarity. Luckily, AJ is there to calm her nerves - at least a little.
On the train, we get some more development of relationships between these two ponies who were complete and total opposites early in the series (for references, see "Look Before you Sleep"). And in the morning, we get a rather charming scene with Rarity brushing AJ's mane for her.
So they arrive at Manehatten and begin searching for the missing Element of Disharmony. Their first top is at Coco Pommel's place...... Coco Pommel.....Why does that name sound familiar... *googles it* ........
Woooooow.....from "Rarity Takes Manehatten"......how could I forget about her!?
Anyway, so they ask her if there's anything out of the ordinary, and...oddly enough, she does know something.
About a month ago...Isn't that just after Discord lost his magic to Lord Tirek? (Yes, he was the most badass villain in the show - IMO - so I'll address him by his full title!)
So, what's the new shop called?
.........................................................................
Well, I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. I honestly think that both AJs and Rarity's opposite elements would work for them: they're greedy, lying SOB's, after all. Wait.....
what's the name again?
Oh, don't tell me they're still going about with that tonic...
Alright, so since we've seen Twilight and Pinkie Pie's side of the story, as well as Applejack and Rarity, that leaves Fluttershy and R.D!
So we see Fluttershy saying her goodbyes to her animal friends (There's another crucial part to Fluttershy's personality that you missed in the last story! Improvements! Writing: +1) before returning to Rainbow and the two of them head off.
Wait...what? What!? Rainbow is actually looking for Gilda? As in, Gilda? As in, the griffon who thinks she's all that and a box of cookies and because of that is one of the most hated people in Equestria, who you yourself, R.D, dismissed from your circle of friends in the same episode she was introduced? THAT Gilda? And you're bringing along Fluttershy of all ponies to help you find her? Ask Pinkie Pie; the two aren't exactly on the best of terms!
Anyway...
So Rainbow and Fluttershy begin their long flight to Griffin's nest, with Fluttershy actually being able to keep up with RD for he most part...
Finally, Fluttershy's wings give out and they have to walk the rest of the way.
Speaking of which!
My thoughts exactly, Rainbow! Fluttershy has proven on multiple occasions, and even in her own backstory (or what little we get in the show) that she's NOT a strong flier! And to see her have the determination to push herself WELL beyond her usual limits is nice development, not only for her character, but also her physical endurance. Good job! (Writing: +1)
So, after R.D. encourages Fluttershy to continue, and offering to take Fluttershy's saddlebag for her (Okay, that was actually pretty charming), they arrive at Griffin's Nest, which is...on the ground? Um...okay, I can go with this.
And we see that the city itself isn't very fond of ponies----
......And my previous comment is the understatement of the year...
Gustave? As in, Gustave le Grand, the french griffin chef from "Mystery on the Friendship Express!?"....Wow... Never expected anypony to make a fanfic that involved this guy.
Wait...
Why would they have gotten captured?
Wow...Gilda really is a spiteful little b
ch if she can hold a grudge that long. I mean, it's been almost two years since "Griffin the Brush-Off"; wouldn't she have calmed down a bit---------
What?
........................I totally just jinxed it, didn't I...
So we start this chapter with Coco Pommel, Applejack and Rarity heading for the Flim-Flam brothers' new scam. They arrive, and ----Hooooh-leeee Cuh-rap, that's a long line!
They meet with Applejack's Uncle Orange.
How dare they speak ill of Flim and Flam? Has it ever crossed your mind that AJ might have some past experiences with the two of them? Man, you don't know anything at all about your niece ----....what?
......Don't tell me they're still on that stupid tonic scam...
So after Coco Pommel leaves, AJ and Rarity head up ahead of the line to the schemers' shop (much to the waiting ponies' chagrin) and storm in.
So they get the two of them to reveal what they are selling, and it seems the tonics from "Leap of Faith" got a magical upgrade.
*They make a batch* Hmm...all-natural ingredients, with a little magical touch...probably chaos magic.
If by that, you mean "that's the magic of the Element of Lies they're putting into that tonic," then yes.
So Rarity and Applejack manage to convince them to turn over a new leaf (with a rather creative twist here, having them make an organic health drink...interesting...) and remove the magic from all the tonic they have.
And it turns out...
I still think it should be named differently. Seriously, you could just look up antonyms of the word "Honesty" and I guarantee you "Dishonesty" and "Deceit" are on that list; sounds more effort-filled than "lies."
Oh, whatever; we've got one Disharmony element down. In fact, that was almost too easy... Wonder how the others are doing...
Amending my list of Elements of Disharmony names:
Honesty - Deception/Deceit, however you want to look at it
Laughter - Hatred
Generosity - Greed
Kindness - Cruelty
Loyalty - Betrayal
Magic - ......Yeah, I still got nothing....Dark Magic? 
Hey, since when was I in this?
Okay, bad joke aside, we start off with Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy waking up the next morning in Gustave's loft.
Rainbow, being hungry for answers (as am I) heads down and sees Gustave talking with two guards.
Well, that second guard seems a lot nicer.
So Gustave finally gives the two of them (and the audience) the answers as to how Gilda was able to rally the town.
So, basically, Gilda went from the bada
cool girl to an overzealous racial pride speaker?
So Rainbow wants to talk it out with Gilda (wow....) but Gustave tells her they need to stay where they're safe.
Oh boy...here's Gilda McB
ch now...
So the three of them get captured, and ...
Hey! Get your filthy talons of Fluttershy! You wouldn't handle a flower like that, would you? WELL THAT"S WHAT FLUTTERSHY IS!!!!!!
So Gilda takes this opportunity to vent and explain that her anger at Rainbow turned into a hatred of all ponies as a result, and decided to put them into a race.
Gilda, that is low! Even for you! You know for a fact that Fluttershy doesn't stand a chance against you, even in her top condition! ....no offense, Fluttershy lovers....
Ooooh, it's time for a BOSS BATTLE!!!!!!
Wait, what!? That's it? No tail-kicking showing Gilda's pride as a griffin? No epic Sonic Rainboom-ing her tail into submission? No boss battle at all!? .......
*Sighs, picks up a sign*
So Gilda and Rainbow Dash talk this out peacefully, and we get some..good character development from Gilda. (Writing: +1)
In the end, the two of them make up, have a friendly race back to the city, and we see...Fluttershy walking with...the...guards......in a civilized manner...
man, I knew Fluttershy had a likable personality, but for guards who are supposed to hate ponies, period, this seems awfully nice of them...
So Gilda pulls back her orders of imprisoning ponies, and we get a magic release scene cranked up to eleven, showing the Element of Malice being extracted from all over the f
king city and absorbed by Fluttershy's necklace. Two down, three (or four) to go.
In all honesty, this chapter seems a bit rushed (writing: -1). I think it could have been improved on the pacing if there was an actual fight between Rainbow and Gilda. I mean, if Gilda is strong enough to grab onto propeller blades and stop their motion (See "Griffon the Brush-Off), then she's got to be stronger than those ropes that Rainbow used to hog-tie her mid-air. Plus, I would like to have seen the race back to town. Oh well; reviewers can't be choosers.
Alright, so now we have Pinkie Pie making sure she's got everything for the party. After a few shenanigans (and a bit of flashback exposition detailing Pinkie Pie giving invitations to everypony), they have everything ready.
So the party starts on time. And it doesn't seem to be going well; we've got a few small grins here and there, but for the most part, they still look like they had just attended a funeral.
*groans* I never liked conga lines...It just seemed weird...
Well, as long as it doesn't come with a song...
So they get everyone involved in the conga line, and things start looking up. But, for some reason, the CMC are not exactly into it. So Pinkie pulls them aside and talks to them about it.
Why would you want a Cutie Mark in conga dancing? Anyone can do it.
Y'know what? I think the Cutie Mark Crusaders are going about getting their cutie marks the wrong way. They're trying a bunch of new things that they either don't really like or just aren't good at, and expect to get their cutie mark from it. What I think they need to do is to choose a career/skill they're already good at and keep at it. Like, Apple Bloom is already good at helping around the farm, so she could continue the family tradition and get her cutie mark in apple bucking or something similar, like making the apple pies; Scootaloo wants to be a strong flyer like Rainbow Dash, and she's already fast on her scooter, so she could build it from there until her wings develop more (I think her cutie mark will be a scooter); as for Sweetie Belle, she's a great singer, so it's obvious what her cutie mark would be for.
Wait, what? You addressed all that while I was speculating? Man, my brain gets riled up too easily...
Hey! A Slice of Life lesson! And it's a good one to give to kids and some young adults who haven't quite figured themselves out yet. (Moral: +10)
Huh...... So the CMC were the main victims of the Element of Sadness......
So Pinkie goes around the castle, gathering the bits of the element's magic from everypony inside, bouncing around like a demented Rabbid the whole way, before returning to Twilight and absorbing the bit that Twilight got from Spike.
I'll admit, if this was put to animation, the visuals here would be just pure eye candy (Imagery: +5...wait, Imagery isn't part of this...scratch that!)
So now that's three elements down...
So, they didn't get all of the Element of Sadness...... *singsong* Somepony didn't come to the party!
So the party ends, Twilight and Pinkie say goodbye to the guests, when Derpy Hooves shows up. (Yay! Derpy!
)
Something tells me that Derpy has the last bit of the Element of Sadness.
So they bring Derpy inside and ask her to deliver the pieces of cake they have left (Jeez! 243 pieces left!? How much did you make!?) to everypony in town.
Wouldn't that be considered bribing for friendship? Oh well.
So their persuading brings Derpy's spirit up, and the last tear she sheds just happens to be the last shred of the Element of Sadness. Okay NOW I can say they got three down!
*insert fanfare here*
So they pack up a number of cake slices and Derpy heads out on her way while Pinkie and Twilight clean up.
Theeeen we get our chaotic personality character with an entrance.
Uh, didn't you get an invitation to the party, Discord?
Why didn't I think of that? Wait...
The cake!!!
*click link to see my reaction*
So Discord mopes about not having his chaotic mojo, and even complains about his house being clean.
I didn't even know you had a house!
So they tell him they've located one element, and he remembers why he came there in the first place:
So, where are the elements of Greed and Envy? Let's hear it, Discord.
...................
Pro: They now don't have to search aimlessly around all of Equestria
Con: Canterlot is the biggest city in all of Equestria
Pro: Twilight is familiar with Canterlot
Con: Greed = anyone in the city!!!!!!
Pro/Con: I smell a Princess Luna boss battle coming up (Luna has Envy; I can tell)
So we open this up with Pinkie and Twilight taking the train to Canterlot with Discord.....uh, that doesn't make any sense. Couldn't Discord have brought them there?
Hello!? Discord! He can bend reality! He can teleport all three of you to Canterlot with a snap of his talons! Hellooooooo?
After a rather uneventful trip (Seriously, nopony thought to help Spike open the door?), they arrived at Canterlot
*chuckles*
Thank goodness for that.
So they head up to the castle to see the Princesses, but because of the time, Celestia is probably asleep. Might as well schedule a meeting for tomorrow morning.
Okay, you only need two rooms; Discord should already have sleeping quarters in the castle; he lives here, doesn't he?
So we change scenes to Applejack asleep on the train with Rarity knitting by the light of the glowing Element of Honesty necklace.
Wait... Flim and Flam actually got somepony to marry them? Wonder what antics they used for that?
So we get a recount of what happened at the store; basically, the two of them helped out Flim and Flam run the store with their polished product. I'm (dare I say this) actually kinda glad to see these two reformed and running a now-honest business.
Then...we change scenes again? Well, that last scene was relatively pointless...(Writing: -1)
So we switch to Rainbow Dash flying to Canterlot with Gilda and Fluttershy in tow. Rainbow is carrying the saddlebags while Gilda is carrying a very exhausted Fluttershy.
After a while, they take a stop to rest for the night, and we get a rather touching scene of Gilda expressing her regret for her past actions and Fluttershy, being the ever-so-kind pony she is, forgives her without a second thought.
Okay, since I can't really make any jokes here, I'm just going to give my opinion on what character emote faces this site needs:
Luna, Gilda, Discord, Sombra, Chrysalis, Shining Armor, Cadence, a different Spike emote, Sunset Shimmer, and some more Derpy emotes.
Okay, moving on.
So we open this up the next morning and Twilight and Discord get an audience with Celestia.
They explain why they're in Canterlot: to find two of the Elements of Disharmony.
Uh......Never seen Celestia give a look like that since "A Canterlot Wedding."
Aha! See? I told you Canterlot's size would be a problem!
Then Celestia notices that not all of the group is there and asks where the rest of them are.
Uh, don't you mean this:
I'd recommend going back and changing that. (Writing: -1)
Uuuuuhhh.....I was under the impression that Celestia trusted Discord... I know the situation isn't exactly pointing in his favor, but she's definitely a pony to give him the benefit of the doubt! She wouldn't be this antagonistic towards him. (Writing: -1)
So we flash to Rarity and Applejack arriving in Canterlot before heading into town to wait for their layover train to Ponyville. Twilight, Pinkie, Spike, and Discord show up shortly thereafter.
Wait...so it wasn't the Element of Lies they originally sensed in Manehatten? *rereads back a few chapters* .........
Well, *nervous laughter*.....awkward.........(Writing: previous penalty discarded)
So, that means the Elements can move around and/or switch places with another? Well, that just made the search a LOT more difficult.
After some Element of Greed shenanigans with two ponies arguing over an item of some kind, the six of them huddle together to discuss their plan on catching the two Elements in Canterlot.
Twilight's learning; getting Spike more involved in the main plot? Progress...
As a side note, though, I don't think Twilight doesn't trust Discord fully. (Double negative...)
So they all head off in their assigned directions/destinations. AJ and Pinkie run into one of the guards, and we learn that Rainbow, Fluttershy, and Gilda have arrived.
I wonder how they're going to react to Gilda... Oh, glorious conflict setup.
So we flash to the Flying Team (you see what I did there?) waking up the morning after we last saw them. Rainbow is eager to get a move on, Fluttershy is still sore from the flight to Griffin's Nest, and Gilda...
Okay, either Gilda did ditch them, or something ironic is about to happen.
Okay, so she was just working out the stiffness....wait, hey! Fluttershy's got the least muscle on her out of the entire group! You think carrying her is a workout? Try carrying Applejack; She's ALL muscle!
So they gather up Fluttershy and take off the rest of the way to Canterlot. They meet up with the Pegasus Guards Celestia sent out to find them, and they are escorted in the rest of the way before meeting up with the Princess.
See, people? Celestia has a sense of humor!
So Celestia notices Fluttershy's injuries and takes them to her bedchamber (wow...) and have a doctor in there to look at Fluttershy's wings.
Applejack and Pinkie show up as well a few minutes later.
So, yeah, Fluttershy's going to be staying out of the air for a while.
Wait......did they just leave Gilda and Pinkie Pie in the same room together? (yes, they did.) Oh, this can only end SO well....
So Celestia gives Rainbow and Applejack a warning about the Elements of Disharmony, saying that in the wrong hooves they could cause some serious damage. Like we need reminding; look at what it did to Gilda.
My Genre-Savvy Sense is tingling
! There's going to be a villain who somehow managed to get his hooves on all five of the Elements of Disharmony and discovers the sixth, then we get an awesome Harmony vs Chaos final battle!
(Alright, last chapter for tonight...)
We start this chapter off with Twilight and Rarity checking the shops. Twilight is trying to stay focused on the task at hand (that's why she's best pony). But Rarity...
They here some commotion coming from a nearby shop and take off to find...
Oh great...Hoity Toity... the first of Rarity's fashion circle ponies, as well as my least favorite. Mainly because of his voice; it sounds like he's talking with his nose plugged.
So Hoity Toity (just the name is aggravating for me...) shows them what the problem is: a cat fight about to break out over a dress.
Oh! Oh! Element of Greed! Element of Greed!
So Rarity is able to calm the two mares' fury and agrees to make two dresses for them, while the two of them instantly fall into humility at the sight of Princess Twilight and explain what went over them. On top of that, a small fragment of the Element of Greed comes from them and into Twilight's gem.
That mentioning of the charity event these two wanted to go to raises some suspicion in Twilight and she leaves Rarity to her work (since she's in the zone) and comes to the site of the auction in time to see Discord and Spike being forced out by Fancy Pants. (Who names their kid "Fancy Pants?")
Yeah, the event may end up having more parts of the Element of Greed there.
Well, that's all for tonight. See you tomorrow.
Oh boy...by that title, I'm guessing things are going to go wrong at some point....... (Grand Galloping Gala reference)
So we see Twilight making her way to the Castle to see Princess Celestia, and she finds Rainbow and Fluttershy.
No truer words have been spoken about Fluttershy.
So they have a lead as to the location of the Element of Greed: the charity auction for Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns.
Okay, so Gilda won't be joining them. I actually expected that, her being a badgirl character. At least she's not constantly spouting the word "lame" (Seriously, the number of times she said that in the show made me want to throw the remote at the TV screen.)
Then Rarity comes in with a set of dresses (and tuxedo) for everypony.
Convenient!
So they all head out to the auction and join Celestia in the Royal Box. After she gives her little introduction speech, the first item is...
Okay. So it's Fancy Pants who has the bulk of the Element of Greed in him. Now we just have to......
What?
You seriously wrote that?
So Fancy Pants is shot down and forced to bid on his book. And the bidding isn't even opened when he immediately places a million bits on it. Well, I don't think anypony else will be placing more than that on such a ragged old book written by a complete monster....
So Fancy and Jet Set get into an argument about the dress their wives were arguing over earlier while still bidding for the book. And it eventually escalates to violence.
Can't believe I'm saying this, but, go Rarity!
So the two of them come to their senses about just what they were doing and apologize to each other and their wives, their hoofshake resulting in the Element of Greed being expelled from them, and even the book disintegrates into the remaining parts of the Element.
The rest of the auction goes well, and now they have four Elements of Disharmony down and only one to go. The question is, who has it?
Thinking back a bit...
I think this is a subtle hint...Luna wouldn't be getting in their way by joining them; in fact, her presence would help them out because there would be more eyes looking for the suspicious ones....
I'm guessing Envy is Luna...
So the group enjoys the rest of the night, we see Rarity getting some orders from her boutique (hope she can finish them), and they all head to bed for a good night's sleep.
Except for Celestia, who is haunted by the memories of past battles, particularly her fight with Nightmare moon. *Background music: BEGIN*
So in her nightmare, Celestia is once again avoiding Nightmare Moon's constant onslaught of attacks. This time, she ducks for cover and heads for the castle to use the Elements of Harmony like last time. However...
"Not a dream?" So, what's happening, then? Is she having a vision?
So Celestia wakes up to a rather frightening sight: Nightmare Moon standing at the end of her bed.
See? I told you Luna would have it!
Now, pleeeeeaaaaasssseee tell me this is going to be a boss battle!
So, after Rainbow Dash OHKOs Nightmare Moon (how that is possible is beyond me...) Celestia goes in and tries to turn her good again. And after a yin-yang effect that would look awesome if animated, Luna is once again purified and the Element of Envy is absorbed into Rainbow Dash's necklace.
......Not exactly what I would have said, but.........(I was tempted to use the "Very poor choice of words" joke again, but decided against it.)
So now they have all five Elements of Disharmony.
.....As for how that scene flowed, I like how it went, but I just wish there was an actual battle with Nightmare Moon rather than a hoof-to-the-face KO before turning her good again. It did seem a bit forced because of how quick this moment actually went. (Writing: -1)
But, we still have eight more chapters of screen time, so things have got to go downhill from here.
So Discord comes and, after some snarky comments about "frou-frous event," they inform him that they have the elements.
.............Discord, would you rather have this sweet, innocent Fluttershy, or the cruel b
ch you turned her into when you met?
Aha! I knew there was going to be a sixth element! So what's it called?
Hmm...the Element of Dark Magic.....Rating: A+ (perfect 10) That's EXACTLY what I thought it would be, and I can think of no better name for it.
And, once again, Celestia knows something that the Mane Six don't...
It's Pinkie Pie; don't question it.
So Princess Celestia explains about the last encounter with the Elements of Disharmony; to summarize:
After sealing Discord, the Elements of Disharmony broke free; they were able to contain the base 5, but the Element of Dark Magic escaped and found a host in King Sombra (there's the source of his power. Nice job giving something of an origin thing for Sombra. Story: +1) and that's how he was able to take over the Crystal Empire.
Celestia and Luna go in and battle him, using the Elements of Harmony to extract the Element of Dark Magic, but not before Sombra used its power to seal away himself and the Empire.
They had major difficulty in resealing the Elements, but thanks to Luna's determination, they forced them back into Discord's statue.
Oh, wow! More origin exposition for the villains! (Story: +1)
So, needless to say, the Element of Dark Magic, even on its own, is extremely dangerous.
So Twilight is about to take her friends and head out immediately, but Celestia stops her and asks her to study her journals on the last Element before they head out.
Twilight, you'll be about the only pony having fun tonight.