Equestrian Adventure!

by DerpyHooves320

5: A visit from princess moon butt

Author's Note:

UPDATE: Errors fixed, quite a few cringy things changed to be less cringy and to make the story smoother. God forgive me for this chapter anyways.

I was having one of those weird dreams again, the ones that feel like an LSD trip. Everything was going to shit fast, the world of Grazmark was being invaded by burger people from system 55027B12. I was head of the few, the brave, the Space Navy. I was leading my mark-IV battle cruiser through the thick of the battle, our target was the Kracken Burger, a burger so big, it dwarfed Grazmark, making it look like the tip of a needle. Surprisingly enough, our battle cruisers also dwarfed it, but we were in the atmosphere not to long ago, and the planet dwarfed us. Ah well, back to the plan!

We were nearing the KB. "Arm the missiles! Man the lazer cannons! And someone get me a cookie!" I yelled, then a new recruit appeared out of no where, and handed me a cookie. "Thank you" I said, he saluted then returned to his post.

"Sir!" Another recruit yelled.

"What is it?" I asked.

"We have been boarded, sir!" He yelled, just before a long, gooey, string of cheese hit him in the back. "Also, here's a cookie" he said, handing me a cookie as well, before being dragged into the hall, where he was cheese-a-fied by a cheeseburger deluxe. I pulled out a lazer pistol, aiming it at the burger.

"Never seen a dream like this" I heard someone say to my left, so I looked to my left.

"Who?" I asked, but before the voice could answer, I blasted the burger who was mid jump, in an attempt to get me. I saw the owner of the voice, and her eyes went wide as she watched the burger explode. "Who are you and how did you get on my ship?" I asked, hoping she wasn't a burger in disguise.

She looked at me, her eyes a deep shade of blue, her coat was midnight blue, and her mane was just like a starry night, and was mysteriously flowing in some sort of magical wind. She wasn't wearing much, a dress that was pretty much see through, and a bikini. Didn't look like anything a burger would wear. "My name is Luna, princess of the night" she said, I saw a crescent moon on her plot, which also wasn't hard to see, and I laughed a little. "Whats so funny?" She asked.

"The uh, nickname I came up for you" I said, while blasting a few more burgers by blindly shooting the lazer pistol down the hall.

"What is it?" She asked, I saw a piece of burger go straight through her, which implied that she wasn't actually there.

"Moon butt" I said, roaring with laugher, causing her cheeks to flare with a bright red.

"Why would you give me such a name?!" She asked, clearly upset but such a funny name. I went to reply, but a string of hot gooey cheese flew through her, smacking me square in the stomach. I felt it pull me over the rail that surrounded my captain chair.

"Shit! Save yourselves!" I yelled to the crew, before I felt the ground below, the burger smashing me into it. I felt more pulling after the initial landing, causing me to look up. I saw a super duper cheesy burger, and I know for a fact, no one survives a cheese strike from them. I reached for my lazer pistol, only to find it covered in cheese, rendering it useless. I knew this would be the end, so I accepted my fate. I let loose a tear of sorrow, worrying for the crew.

"Need some help with your nightmare?" Moon Butt asked, I looked at her, a huge feeling of confusion flooded my mind.

"What do you mean, 'nightmare?" I asked, causing her to giggle a little. I felt something on my leg now, causing me to look. When I looked, I saw cheese crawling on me, more cheese then I ever dared to put on a taco. And it was angry.

"Allow me" she said, she walked over to the deluxe, then she just poked it, and it dissapeared. I stared at her with eyes as wide as the KB. Almost literally. Almost. "I told you it was just a nightmare" she said, causing it all to dissapear, and we were sitting in some chairs in a blank white room. I just sat there, looking around in confusion, waiting for something, anything, to happen. I felt an idea form in my head, then all the sudden, a chalkboard appeared, with the idea on it. 'What you think will appear here' it said.

"Ah, I see you are testing out the dream chamber" Luna said, I thought about her words. All the sudden, I started imagining everything! Dogs wearing taco costumes! Dancing mime bears! The A-Team! And Five Nights At Freddy's! Luna looked at all of them, eyes wide, while she laughed nervously at the dogs and bears, but looked horrified at the sight of the sight of the animatronics and A-Team.

I jumped around in excitment, I could finally enjoy everything I could enjoy! Then almost instantly, my mind got working. "Don't do it" Luna said, I looked at her in sadness, and slight anger. She would deny my chance at enjoyment. "The last one that imagined me in bed with them was banished for a few weeks on the moon. In dream that is" she said, and I face palmed so hard, the room cracked a little.

"I wasn't gonna think about that! I was gonna think about this!" I said, then Justin Beiber appeared, he was wearing make up all over his face, a pink princess tutu, and a terrible hair-do.

"I like ducks" he said in a high pitched tone, before he exploded into a bunch of kittens that were wearing thongs for some reason. I looked at Luna/Princess Moon Butt, and her face said it all. She was laughing so hard her face looked like old grandma Kelly's wrinkled face, and not a single sound was coming from her. I walked over to her, confused yet entertained. As soon as I was next to her, she fell over. I looked behind me to see that the kittens were doing some weird dances while still wearing thongs. I started laughing as well, so I fell down on top of Luna. We stopped laughing after a few seconds, blushes taking over our once wrinkled faces. We were uncomfortably close now.

"Oh god" I yelled, jumping off her as quickly as a dream person could. She was still laying down, her face still shining red. "So sorry moon bu- I meant Luna!" I said, she just nodded a little, still laying on the ground. I quickly thought of a thought reading device, to make sure her brain didn't break. What I got made me start grinning.

'That felt.....good, please do it again! Please please PLE- is that a thought translator?' She thought, after she realized I was reading her thoughts. I grinned even bigger at the new findings, and I walked towards her a little.

"Thought you didn't want me to from the look on your face" I said, still grinning my stupid grin. She slapped me so hard, I flew back a few feet.

She flew over to me. "That's enough in the dream room! Goodbye!" She said, her face red from anger and embarrassment. Then it happened, I was back in the deluxe's cheesy grasp.

"NOOO-" I screamed as it devoured me, before it all went black.

Comments

[user123]

Pffffthahahaha.

[Super57]

Randomness is awesome.

It's essentially my life in a nutshell