Living behind a mask is difficult enough. It becomes unbearable when the mask you wear becomes known for what you do best. Then the mask becomes a part of you, an inseparable part of you own being, one that looms over you even when it does not conceal you. This is the world that Scootaloo lives in every day. Every waking moment is a balancing act between her masked talent and her contrived personality.
This is the story of Swan's Mask.
Special thanks to Auramane for prereading/editing and the half dozen of others who gave me great feedback!
Chapters (1)
If this gets positive reception I have no problem adding a followup chapter!
Very nice story. It's not often you come across a Scootaloo story that showcases her dancing talents. I don't think this story necessarily needs to be continued. It works just fine as a simple one-shot.
5403527
It was inspired by the recent story that hit the front page. It had a similar flavor but took it in a different direction. The real inspiration came from the image of Scootaloo dancing.
Beautiful
5403607
You mean http://www.fimfiction.net/story/232773/swan-lake, I assume.
Scoot should take up Celtic dance. Nopony dares call it girly.
5403934
Yup, that's the one!
5403942 (Not hating, but):
Just when I thought I saw everything...
5406607
Explain.
5406737 Nvm.
5407029
Dat explanation.
5407039
This is an interesting story. It's a lot like the Swan Lake fic, but I think this is one is just as good. It's a simple story about Scootaloo and Dash, and that's all it needs to be. Good job.
-W.S.
This was well worth a good read! Thanks for reaching out to us, your followers, especially on such an individual basis as you did. I can't speak for others, but that gesture means a lot to me, and it shows you care very much about your readership and our input. Just keep writing, let it flow like you think it should, and we'll keep coming back.
5409396
I am going to fight to keep you guys. These individual massages may be another way to let you know that I care.
Edit: I see my mistake and I'm proud of it.
I must say, good sir, that this story earns my 100% approval.
Honestly, this story does feel original, and it it quite refreshing. It also being well writen adds to the expierence. Indeed an interesting way to build on Rainbow and Scootaloo's relationship. Overall, very good.
This story was fun to read.
Simply add a minor story arc for
inferior horsessome or all of the unmentioned main cast, maybe a musical number, and you have something that could very well be an actual episode.Well done, and thank you for sharing the fic :)
This is pretty much super solid. The only fault I could see is how brief the story was, it was basically almost all I could wish for in a Scootaloo ballerina fic. I have to say the whole thing was masterfully painted to its crescendo upon the reveal scene. The rim of one's eyes collecting dews as one barely notices what's happening until you blink it away.
The cafeteria scene, stories like this makes me appreciate fiction a little more every time. Though a certain scene would have worked well if you emphasized 'sister' to be more endearing, as if being a playful reminder then something that sounded as if you were somewhat pushing the obvious a bit too hard. But it was adorable to feel Dash being so comfortable in her role of a sister serrogate that she says the whole word out every time then using 'sis or Scoots.
I was a bit unclear as to whether Scoots lives there or she just stays until the normal class is over before Scoots gets her private lessons. After all, if she lived there, why would Ms. Pedals let her sleep in such a messy area. She almost comes off, almost, as somepony who just wants to say she discovered talent and live some sort of success through Scoots. Whatever the motives, I would imagine she'd give Scoots a better place for rest when the nights were through.
Couple small typo's that didn't affect my reading but that you may want to know since it clashes with how well you've presented this thus far.
> point
> minutes
And the one part I mentioned that could use a bit of playfulness in a more sisterly tone would be in Diner. "I'm your sister". Something that has more of a Rainbow Dash tone. It's just nitpicking so you can ignore this part. 'cuz we're sisters, duh'.
Overall, stands as probably my 2nd favorite. It certainly left me wishing Rainbow Dash had appeared a bit later and Scoots used the mast a bit longer. But that's overdone anyways, am I right?
Pretty solid. Leaves you wanting more. If I was forced to give it a rating, I'd go with 4.5 out of 5. I would have accepted this as a S5 episode any day. Minus the confusing homeless orphan implication, it's still a kids show I suppose. Thankfully, this is fanfiction! lol Bravo <3
... My heart. The FEELS. Congrats, you've earned a place on my Top Shelf. Swan Mask and 8 other stories. These are the stories that I respect the most and that inspire me.
Scootaloo, scoots, scooty. First off, kudos for not making Scootaloo a dreary orphan, I read too many of those for my liking. Children often copy, imitate and go out of their way to impress those who they want to be like. While it wasn't her pushing the boundaries of the rational world, seeing Scootaloo pressing herself so hard to gain Rainbow's attention leaves me with concern for her. What's life going to be like for when she decides on what she wants?
The idea of Scootaloo performing ballet is new, racking up another point in my book for good ideas. It goes well with her inability to fly, her graceful movements on the scooter and her serene grace develops her in areas I hadn't considered. The norm for Scootaloo is to perfectly emulate Rainbow Dash, this gives her an actual sense of character.
Keeping our favorite little pegasi's mindset was a real inside view as to how conflicted she is. One hand, awesome speedster with number one awesomest pegasus, Rainbow Dash. The other, gliding beauty, Rose of the dance floor. Its a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde vibe being sent her, coupled with the embarrassment of who she adores keeping an iron lock on her heart. A real, down to earth, burden has been placed on her, twisting and coiling in what she loves and who she loves. Such a maelstrom of emotion is being presented here.
Two things that put me off on this story. Scootaloo keeping a secret from Dash because she sees it as embarrassing, yeah believable. Keeping it from Rainbow for so long without her noticing. Sooner or later, most of these things do come to light and I'm going to hazard a guess that Scoot's been performing ballets for a good time. It makes me wonder how well Rainbow pays attention Scootaloo for her not to notice the details. Second was as to how Rainbow found out about this. She was in charge of putting the weather for the play, okay, not a problem. Being there when Scootaloo wanted to go through the motions, tad bit too convenient but passable still. I should say that I find Rainbow a tad too ignorant of her little sister's life really is.
Well done, Samurai. A thumb and a shelf for you.
The Feels on this when my laptop gets fixed this going to be put in favourites and everything else good I can put it in,awesome story /)
6288951 Thanks! I had a really powerful emotion when I wrote this story. I'm glad you liked it!
I love the story not like this is like.....Super Awesome /)
6292651 (\ I really love it when I can put out something that people love!
Np /) (Could we get a sequel)
6293773 I've thought about it, and I really don't think I could pull off a sequel.
However, I've got Memoirs of a Magic Earthpony that has a lot of good reviews. You may want to check it out if you havent!
Okay I will /)
This was a great story, and the ending was very sweet... yet it also makes it feel like there should be more... like a story should be done where Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle find out Scootaloo's secret or something.
Sequel? Yes. No. Maybe so.
6954714 one of those responses is correct!
6955132
which one? esle ro em llet !
This is a really good story.
6955198
Okay rereading this comment and I have no clue what I was saying.
Dawww