Fel wakes up one day to find himself a pony. He has always loved the thought of being one and now he gets to experience it firsthand. The only problem is, he wakes up on Earth. What will everyone think of a small pony supposedly appearing out of nowhere?
Well, I've never seen a story like this before.
So far it's interesting. Imma keep an eye on this.
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/266/376/d99.gif
472384
i am in love with your gif
472331
That's good right? Because I'm new to this fan fiction stuff
472394
Why thank you!
472400
Yes, in this case it's good.
Your writing is a bit awkward to read in places. Am I correct in assuming you wrote one draft and didn't revise it much, if at all? This is actually a pretty unique concept, and I feel that it would benefit greatly if you just touched it up a little bit. I'm sure that many of the users on this site would be willing to lend a helping hoof. In any case, I wish you the best of luck in this, and anything else you decide to work on.
And one thing that just nags at me, how did he bang his head against the wall without noticing he was a unicorn? That seems like just the thing that would alert someone to a horn on their forehead, either by way of headache or a case of hole-in-wall.
472508
I did notice a few mistakes in parts of my story (mostly things that were supposed to be italicized) but I'm going to assume this is because I copy/pasted from Microsoft Word. As for the horn, I thought about that for a few minutes contemplating weather or not the horn should break but I just went with it. I'll try and see my work through a little more carefully in the future. Thanks for your advice
Talking and thoughts should be in new paragraphs.
I let out a slow sight and facehoofed at my own lack of concentration.
“C’mon Fel, FOCUS!” I muttered to myself and looked up at the pencil for a third attempt.
Capitals at the beginning of sentences and names, like you learned in first grade. Grammar is a major problem. You can probably fix these problems with a little effort.
♫♥I look forward to reading what happens next in your story♥♪
"You better start believing in those fanfics Fel. You’re in one!"
Four wall damage detected. keep it up.
great story keep going
i tip my hat to you
Awsome story so far!!
Decent. That's all this is, nothing special. It'd be better if it were slightly less like blatant wish-fulfillment. In it's current state, it seems almost masturbatory. I'm sure you can improve if you work hard.
>masturbatory
What.