Two hundred years ago, Equestria reached its peak when Twilight Sparkle became an alicorn, and magic and friendship graced the land. Now, the world has descended into its lowest point in since the rise of the Royal Sisters. A disease has effectively eliminated the most of the world's inhabitants. No magic nor medicine was able to stop it. The virus tainted the ground, leaving no where for ponies to survive. So they did the only thing hey could do: they took to the skies.
The Navis Project. Ponydom's last chance at survival. A desperate gambit that put hundreds of ponies aboard massive airships that flew high into the jet streams, slowly orbiting the world, allowing them to survive until the day a cure would hopefully be created.
Cover by: Pandramodo
Dunno what to think just yet. Very nicely written, but so far it was just a mundane day in a futuristic setting.
Gonna watch it for now. Please note that it is usually good to actually cover what you portrayed in the synopsis/description of the story. As it is now, the description spoils the action that has yet to happen
Alrighty, so after reading the description, I noticed a problem;
Why would the unicorns, pegasi and earth ponies get any weaker?
No passive telekinesis? No magic schools? Why can't pegasi fly freely? Well, I suppose one could pick up the disease if they went too low, infecting the rest of the ship, but there could be a roster of pegasi who go out to collect rainwater, and what's to stop pegasi from doing a little flying inside? Sure, they'd have to be more careful, but it's been seen to happen before in the show.
Why would the earth ponies have no earth to utilize? Surely the ponies need food, so why couldn't there be a farming area where earth ponies farm as they would on the ground?
I don't believe this'll reflect on the overall quality of the story, but it's an annoyance I felt the need to comment on.
4838443
4838932
Both comments are highly appreciated, and I thank you both for taking in the time to create them. Now that you speak of it, I do realize that the description does give away too much information, and I apologize for anything I may have spoken of that has yet to appear in the story. As a result, I have deleted the latter segments in the hopes that it would help.
As for the ponies gradually becoming weaker... that was an unfounded concept to begin with that just made its way into the story. Yes, unicorns would still be using passive magic on small objects like pots, pans, tools, pencils, etc, but they wouldn't necessarily be trying to use any major spells like teleportation or anything like that; there just isn't much of a need. That's the one I have the most difficulty creating a reason for.
Pegasi don't fly much because there isn't really a need for that either. The wards are small and the passages between them are smaller. I tried to explain it the best I could but it appears that that has failed. They can't just go outside as they wish, these Navis ships fly with the jetstreams, in very thin, cold air. Even if they leave they won't be able to breathe; that or they'll freeze. If they visit the ground then there's the chance they'll get the disease and won't be able to return, even if they were to fly that high again.
Now earth-ponies are another difficult one to explain. Yeah they maintain some connection to earth, but that's just dirt aboard the ship in select areas. They aren't connected to an entire planet's ecosystem anymore. Even then, the ship has an environment control system that regulates those areas in equal, uninterrupted cycles. No droughts that they have to overcome, no floods, no heat spells, cold spells. All they really have to do is plant, wait, harvest, plant, repeat.
The thing I tried getting across the most is that hundreds of ponies are caged up in a ship with no ambition to do anything else. They're surviving, and they're content with that. Nopony really wants to go back, why would they? They have nothing to fear aboard the Navis ships.
And Wing Dancer, I kept it mundane because I wanted to introduce most of the main cast first. I wanted there to be some build up before I started throwing wrenches into it and starting major conflicts. I've begun chapter 2, and it's supposed to be more action filled than this, so I hope that counters it.
Unfortunately, I'm about to go on a long hiatus, starting the 17th. I won't be able to write in this or my other stories for sometime, so I hope the next chapter fixes the issues you two have so kindly pointed out.
Again, thank you for your time,
- Sam.
4839296
I have no problem with mundane descriptions, since I appreciate presenting a setting first and explaining an idea - one that I see neatly presented here.
My main grudge was, indeed, the description, which now fits perfectly. A description sets up certain expectations while reading, and not fulfilling those expectations might have adverse effects or cause irritation. Somewhat
I agree also with 4838932 in that some of the rules of the world are inconsistent - pegasi are used to clear the ice from the ships, so it is actually pretty damn important for them to be skilled fliers, so that the casualties are as low as possible. Also, I'd imagine that unicorns especially would indulge in magical research to increase the standards of life - maybe finding a magical way to scrub the ice, or warm the surfaces, supply light and clean water, perhaps even alter wind currents or condense water for the populace.
This faces the same logistical problems as Vaults in Fallout did - a small, contained society does not lazy about, unless it reaches a state in which it has anything it needs without much effort or is mind-controlled into such submission. If someone is lacking something or is unhappy with their current situation, they press forward to better themselves. Inequality is the fuel for progress, everywhere, regardless of universe.
Bottom-line is, progress happens always, all the time. There would be no reason to teach or do anything if ponies would just be like "fukkit, we're comfortable here". There is always room for improvement, and as the story even pointed out, there were individuals who wanted to better themselves in flying or magic. Those alone would push their immediate enviroment into a state of moving forward, if only to indulge in their own desires.
Still, as Darian pointed out, it's a minor thing that can be treated as a nitpick. I'd actually not touch on the subject of the pony social progression (or degeneration) unless it was relevant to the plot - the description is perfect now, not mentionning any kind of weakening of the species.
4839352 Very good to hear that. It does come up in chapters so I'm going to look in those areas and see if I can explain it better. Again, thank you.
There are a couple of spelling mistakes, but I thoroughly enjoyed this and I'll be sticking around for more. A couple of questions I'd like to ask...
1: Is the airship supposed to be a utopia or dystopia, or more importantly are there groups who break rules such as practising magic that they shouldn't or don't believe the earth is still diseased and may resort to terrorism ro prove it (I.e like that film with Tom Cruise that came out a while ago, which names I forgot.)
2. Are the side characters going to play a major role and focus on their subplots?
3. Are we likely to see some art for said characters?
4. Not much of a question but this does seem like the story EQD would cover and maybe it might be seen in the feature box.
4839409
1) Half and half, really. I don't want to give too much away, but I'm going for a City of Ember/Fallout 3 feel for it.
2) I want them to, but I'm simply out of time. Only the future will tell when I return from my hiatus.
3) Same answer as above.
4) If EQD want's to, that's their call. I certainly won't deny any requests
This has an interesting premise, and good pacing (for me at least). I am intrigue to see where you go with this.
this story had some good potential, im sad to see it canceled
the characters are compelling the world building is great and the writing style is awesome.
i might be a little late to the party though, this story has been sitting in my read it later list ever since ch 2 was released
-basbr
6271770 I've tried to revive her multiple times. Along with my other stories... Its just hard to get the momentum back. They're always on my mind, however. Particularly this one. This one had my favorite character set, plot, and setting. I tried rewriting it from the beginning, and only got to the end of chapter 1. Who knows, I've been bored lately...
Maybe I'm the one who's late to the party... maybe I should stir it up a bit...
Thank you for drawing my eyes back, dear sir, or ma'am,
-Sam.
6275336 well, what ever happens, ill keep it on my fav list in case of a update.
i realty like the premise; mobile air city, unlivable ground situation, dwindling Pegasus population. i had half a mind to take the setting and write my own story. if i may point out one thing though, there might be a lack of conflict. there is no problem to kick start a adventure. but it might be a little bit early for that.
anyway good luck in the future
-sir basbr
very nice chapter,
im glad this fic isn't canceled
and your planning 5 chapter ahead!? awesome!
very curious there this is going. keep up the good work.
You repeat the phrase about the light cycle.
this sentence needs a little tweaking
*walk
her eyes have a crew! i need to get me on of those.
one dos not simply walk in to more door!
all fun and games aside good chapter, great setup.
an adventure you say? cant wait for the next one!
faithfully,
-basbr
Yes! amazing chapter!
so much questions, so much mystery, so much to explore.
i love it!
Need any help editing? :3
Other than that, excited to get to read this again x3
The action was a bit fast for my tastes, and a lot of things just seemed kinda "let's get to the important bits already!", but otherwise fun chapter :3 Looking forward to more.
i found this song and it remined me of your fic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Up-RsD7qnaw&index=41&list=PL2ofutpE_qPKzkdV901z51ZorN7M9hurn
6493626 Admittedly yes, I felt this way when I was writing it as well. This story has been in production for a long time now and I really wanted to get to that part so I could move onto the newer parts of the story and discover the tale to be told.
Thanks for reading!
6561255 Listening this song and thinking about the story really makes me want to write, so I think I'll try to make some time for it today. I could easily see this being something played on the upper-deck lounges at night under the stars...
Thanks for bringing it to my attention!
-Sam.
just spotted one this time
*paint
any way, amazing as always. for a moment i was having deja vu, but than i remembered that i read your preview in your blog post.
the interaction with the natives is a bit brief and quickly forgotten by Aurora but who know where they might show up
happy new year!
6789965 Thanks! As always, the feedback is greatly appreciated! I'm trying not to give anything away, but I ended up ending the chapter a little earlier than I had originally planned. We'll see the natives later, though :P
MORE !
"Up Next: Who knows! That's the best part"
if that's how you roll, it resulted is in good results before so go for it!
just be careful you don't write yourself in a corner.
you do plan ahead a little bit or you wouldn't have ended on a
derpicdn.net/img/2012/7/30/61514/thumb.jpg
goodluck!
7467500 Yes, just yes.
Boop
Need any help editing or something? Would like to keep reading, is very interesting 
7811600 I need help staying motivated to write in at least one of the 4 open stories I have going on at once right now haha