Sweetie Belle has a crush on her best friend, and when she directs a school play staring Scootaloo as the heroine her world quickly comes crashing down around her.
So I once told a pre-reader of mine that I didn't write ship fics. Ooops.
This story was blatantly inspired by The plays the thing, but it's okay because the author of that fic HMXTaylorLee graciously agreed to pre-read and edit this for me anyway, so go check that out. Also thanks to Alovelylittlecomplex for (again?!) fixing my comma issues.
Chapters (2)
This needs a sequel. Or you need to write another Sweetie Belle/Scootaloo shipfic. This is amazing.
4643040 A comment! Yay. There will be a sequel, I haven't exactly planned it out yet and I have two active stories and one story on hiatus, but I enjoyed writing this and so at some point I will continue my exploration into the dyanmics of Scootabelle.
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I was up last night searching for ButtonBelle stories, and for some reason this caught my eye. I thought "I don't usually like shipping two of the CMCs, but the description sounds interesting, so I'll give it a shot." Best decision of the week so far.
I'm going to check out your other stories now.
For the length it was, I felt this story was pretty effective. I didn't feel like when Sweetie gave her directorial speech, it was so obvious that everybody would have known what was going on. If she had said "I" instead of "he" instead, I felt that part would have been better. Also, I knew all about Sweetie's feelings, but I had no idea what Scootaloo's mindset was. Admittedly, that's not very easy to convey in a story this length. It was short and sweet. Good job.
Here's some feedback - you took a couple of my ideas, ran with them, gave them a great RaylanKrios twist, and made a really sweet and charming story. Go you!
Also, it's a really proud feeling seeing some of my suggested edits and feedback make it into the final draft. Thanks.
4708202 thanks, i tried to keep this third person limited, so some of the idea is that you're not necessarily supposed to know how scoots is feeling. Glad you liked it. (cool avatar btw)
Eh, I think the first chapter worked alright as a standalone story, but I felt like it didn't have the strongest of endings, while the second chapter didn't really thrill me. I never really got a good idea of WHY Scootaloo was even interested in Sweetie Belle here, and the second chapter didn't really answer my question or explain to me why the date was actually good for Scoots, so the whole thing kind of didn't work for me as far as everyone's favorite orange pegasus goes; I got what the deal with Sweetie Belle was, but not so much with her date.
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I don't know if this was the author's intent or just my reading too much into it, but the vibe I got was that the reason for Scootaloo's enjoyment was implied rather than directly stated; she's a tomboy, so she's naturally going to enjoy (a hysterically accidental situation that involves accidentally) rolling around in the mud more than a play.
I really enjoyed this chapter, and I agree with your editor; this does work MUCH better as a second chapter than I would as a sequel. I would, however, LOVE to see a sequel to this. If I might make a suggestion on a possible plot for a sequel, you could do something involving the inevitable miscommunications and awkward situations that involve anyone's first foray into romance as well as the relentless teasing that Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon would give them for dating (I can very easily see those two - or at least Silver Spoon - being the typical closet homosexuals who act super homophobic in an attempt to hide that).
If you decide to leave this as a stand alone story, then I get and respect that since this is amazing on its own, but for the record, consider this comment my HUGE vote for a sequel.
4801709 thanks, and thanks for the kind words. This got rejected from Twilight's Library and picked up two more dislikes, and as much as I try not to let that bother me it's still nice to know someone else enjoyed my story. (I happen to really like how this turned out for the most part.)
There may or may not be a sequel, it's unclear, but there is certainly some fertile ground to explore with regard to where Scootabelle goes from here. (One idea for a sequel is to approach some of this from a more Scootaloo centric POV since I've spent two chapters focusing on Sweetie Belle)
D'awwwwwwwwwwwwwww
My heart exploded this was simply beautifull
I'd love to see a sequel or more chapters at some point.
You can has review!
When I heard Allena I'm like
it was where I took my date to only to have her break up with me. I'm glad of it tho
Also loved this story. Can't wait for the next one.
7237835 Whoa, you took your date to Allena and she broke up with you at the restaurant? That's rough.
It was nice and romantic.
Actually, I know of a restaurant called The Hole In The Wall. It's in the San Diego area.