Not quite sure what to put here. MIT student who likes writing. Yeah. Oh, and thanks to kittyhasnosoul for the cover.
Sweetie Belle is falling off a mountain, and there's nopony around that can save her. Finding herself reminiscing about the past, she remembers one regret, that one thing she would have changed in an instant were she given a chance at a do-over. Still, could there perhaps be one glimmer of hope to her situation?
Image courtesy of Microsoft Clipart
* I'm not a good artist, unfortunately, but I tried!
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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3801754 Thanks! Have some crusaders! fc04.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2013/003/7/8/clapping_pony_icon___applebloom_by_taritoons-d5q9yfg.gif fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/056/8/9/clapping_pony_icon___scootaloo_by_taritoons-d5w610a.gif fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/056/7/f/clapping_pony_icon___sweetie_belle_by_taritoons-d5w5zt5.gif
I'd be remiss if I were not to comment on an SB fic that I read. Take this comment as a small opinion piece. I mean not to be harsh in my words, but merely to express how I feel about this story.
While I am a fan of ScootaBelle shipping, I feel that both characters could have been given a bit more depth in this story, thus it would make their struggle more immersing for me as a reader. I was never really given incentive to be rooting for the two characters to get together, (other than my predisposition to the ship). Writing a romance story in 3000 words is a tough task indeed, and I do applaud you for doing so. However, I felt that Sweetie Belle came off as a bit too focused as a character, as though her longing for Scootaloo was really all that described her. It makes the romance feel forced to me. But I often feel that way about shorter Romance stories.
I appreciate the effort that must have gone into making this, and it wasn't awful, I still enjoyed reading it well enough, but I have to say it lacks an amount of emotional depth to me as a reader. Thanks for writing,
~SilentBelle
3802084 Thanks for the comments. In the romance department, I feel that I need quite a bit of practice writing. I think the length of the story may also have been a factor, but in general I am not used to writing about the Crusaders and had minor cases of writer's block upon attempting to add elements. Unlike my other stories, I didn't have an actual timeline with small events leading up to the final romantic element, and though I tried to do it later, I couldn't quite make it fit with the setting I had already established. If you have the time, I would greatly appreciate it if you could take a look at my other fic, CMC Changeling Protectors, which also includes Sweetie Belle and some romance, though it's not a ScootaBelle ship, not complete yet, and centered mainly on the OC. Still, feedback would be welcomed! I want to make sure that I can develop a good romance element for any future stories.
For now, I guess I'll stick to longer stories with planned timelines in which I can develop the characters and the romance more fully. Thanks again! Have some more Sweetie Belle!
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This was quite good. Good luck in the contest, fellow competitor.
3806540 Thanks! But I still feel I need a bit of work in this department. It's also the first contest I'm entering, so we'll see.
Might sweetie belles special talent be inspired by Jan Animations "Don't mine at night"? Either way adorable story! I loved it!
3810375 You know, I didn't even notice that until you brought it up! Maybe something stuck in my subconscious when I saw the video.
Good concept but I'm toooo tired to see mistakes
Soo the two chapter titles sound like this will happen: sweetie belle: " oh no I'm falling if a mountain Is this my destiny? God pony: YES! Sweetie belle: oh.
This is nice. I like it.
It doesn't make any sense, why couldn't Scootaloo just fly out of the train's window and grab the letter, and then get back in???
I hate logic flaws.
man, that's some good shit