Aurora Steel
Chapters (5)
- Member Since 30th Jan, 2014
- offline last seen Jun 21st, 2020
Aurora Steel
I draw stuff and write stuff, nuff said
Aurora Steel
Joined 30th Jan, 2014 ·
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not bad
, i noticed some errors but it wasn't disturbing for the reading.
there's just one you should correct , it's in the Description , you wrote "Shining armor and Flash Century"
it's "Shining armor and Flash Sentry" but apart from that it wasn't bad , keep writing
4804330 there was also spelling errors in the short description as well.
4804340
you're right , but nobody's perfect , i didn't noticed it at first so i guess it wasn't that bad .
here's how i would correct it :
Rainbow dash lost her mother and end up taking the blame for it because of her father, He was put in jail but he's now back with one goal in mind : find Rainbow Dash.
4804365 or change prism to prison.
Protip: if you have spelling errors in your description, you'll lose readers.
4804385 that too
Must
Have
MOAR!!!!!!
Anyway good job a few spelling errors, but not to much to miss out on the whole story keep it up.
Geez, I thought it was, since it has a teen rating.
omc all the feels!
!
dashie I feel for you and we all wuv you
awesome fic bro you have me on the end of my chair ....awesome
oh btw when is the next chapter out I cant wait?
My main problem with this story is that everything happens too quickly. I don't normally trot out the old "show, don't tell" card because I consider it up to the author him- or herself to decide how to conduct the tale, but ... there are far too many paragraphs of exposition. The opening should've been expanded greatly because there's just too much packed into that little space, and you're left with little in the way of insight into these people's lives.
It's just feels like "stuff happening 'til I hit 1,000 words."
Also, someone reading someone else's mail - especially in this case when it comes from the Princesses themselves - is EXCEPTIONALLY bad form, to say nothing of a gross invasion of privacy. Spitfire has no right to do this whatsoever.
There's a good idea in here, but it's lost under the rush. Let the story breathe, get yourself an editor, and develop things properly.
Ha call that a nightmare XD
have your oc get attacked by taint before finding her own dead body, top that all of with having your freedom removed by a great and powerful Goddess
thats a nightmare
It's a good story, but you should really spread it out over multiple chapters. Or maybe have flash backs, like when spitfire reads the letter you could flash back to a time when she knew rainbow's dad. It is an interesting idea and I look forward to read more, but pace yourself.
I think you meant prison
Destiny, the story is off to a great start, but I noticed some errors. Don't rush a little when you write, okay. That happened to me one time. But keep up the good work, and make sure not to rush through events, it can spoil the chapter a little.
I believe in you,
Sango_4000
If you are in need of a co-writer, come and talk to me. I might be able to help. Or an editor
I'm so sorry but I can't bring myself to read something that has obvious errors in the summary.
I wish you luck in all your future endeavors.
Okay, a little rushed. I'll keep my eye on it, but I won't up or downvote for a few chapters.
Thisi good I like it keep it up!
Like the concept A lot, but dude you gave away some really good potential reveals in the description.
Honestly i would have just said "troubled past with her father" maybe elaborated a bit more but that's all. Leave the readers to contemplate what went down and why.
Either way, like the idea, thumbs up regardless.
Please please please do more this is very good and cute!
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This chapter is re-written and edited
hope u like it and the decryption has been edited as well
and Sango could u be my editor?
Good, nice improvement man! Me likey, gimme so more ok?
4823464 I've edited other stories before..........Well, Okay, I'll help
awesome edit
:
4826197 thanks Alpha
That was awesome so you edit it made it better and stuff man I like your fic I might follow you just epic
Also can you make like a extra chapter where Isaac Clark curb stomps his a$$ pls
4826238
ok this father abuse daughter sounds an afule lot like what is happening in my story that you are editing and not that i don't like it i think this story is sounds amazing but if my story gave you an inspiration thats ok it's just i was planing on haveing rainbows dad come back in my story i hope thays Ok with you cus i kind of alredy wrote it and im almost doe with it i just need to know if it was my story that gave you insperation to wright this on
4826920 I got the inspiration partly from an old story that got taken down 'hiding a Rainbow' and slightly from yours
if that's ok?
4826937
i loved that story i dont know why it got taken down it was good story how was the guy that wrote it 
oh and its ok that you got some insperation from my story i think thats pretty cool
you read hiding a rainbow
4826937
just asking
oh and what do you think you oc would look like if you had one
4826954 yeah it's a good story! Do you know the author who wrote it?
And my OC would look like my avatar pic! A guy drew it for me as a gift and the tips of the wings would be darker purple and the eyes would be a spectrum
4826984
i dont know the aouther who wrote it but all i know is that it was a really good story
4827303 what do u mean?
4827691
Did I say sequel?
I ment chapter 2
This is good
4828645 ok
I'm working on it right now, i hope to get it out with in the next few hours or so
Woah
this story sounds very good
More!!! Please.
Poor derpy.
See's new chapter screams like a fan girl but is a guy
4830868 haha
Now the third chapter
pweeeeeeeeaaaaaaasssssseee!
DERPY! HOW DARE HE!
I love this story! The way Soarin looked after rainbow was so cute. I need to read more! I can't wait until the next chapter.
Noooooo
I NEED MORE!!
WHEN THE NEXT CHEPTER?
DASHIE WAKE UP AND RUN!
Need more. Need to see Soarin unleash a can of Whoop ass on somepony. badly
When the next chapter comes out I'm gonna be like it's been 87 years
4851268 I'm having trouble writing the next chapter But is going to come out either today or tomorrow
Hiya
I spotted your story as I absolutely adore SoarinxDash (I think everyone can tell) and I cannot wait for more!! 
